Chapter Text
Henry walked into the middle of the back room as William stayed behind him to shut and lock the door.
Henry looked around the windowless room as it darkened, the light from the hallway getting cutting off by the closing door. But Henry didn’t need to see to know what was in the room, shelves lined the walls holding extra suit heads, boxes on the floor hiding other spare parts, and a giant metal workbench for the heavy animatronics.
“…Ha…well now it looks like you’re gonna kill Me” he tried to joke but nervousness still escaped through his tone. “ah, sorry dear.” William finally flipped on the light switch, “that’s better.” William was obviously trying to stay calm but his emotions escaped him anyway. Henry had known William for so long that the subtle differences were blaring obvious to him. William was breathing slightly heavier than he normally would, (even after the accident that almost pierced straight through his lungs) his legs had a slight tremble, like a new born deer trying to walk for the first time. and the most apparent, he kept flipping his fingers like they were a toy to play with, making them dance around in his hands.
“…William… you okay?” William quickly snapped his head up from the floor like a startled animal, as Henry looked into his partners eyes, he saw the pupils…the size of a pin from fear, he then noticed them get slightly bigger as William continued to look at him. It was nice to know that William, no matter how scared, still loved him instinctually.
“…I- …of course Henry dear, not to worry… I’m just-“ William paused his sentence to think it over again. “…I just need to talk to you about something… but it’s something I’ve never told anyone before…” he looked over at the wall avoiding Henry’s eyes again, he kept playing with his hands in an obvious attempt to focus and comfort himself.
“…and I’m not sure how to explain it in a way that you won’t think I’m crazy…” William’s eyes met the black and white chequered floor again as he mumbled the rest of his sentence. “well, crazy enough that you’ll probably… most definitely, leave me…”
He dared to take a glance at Henry, trying to move his eyes more then his head. Henry looked …softly concerned, a type of upset feeling you get on behalf of someone else, instead of yourself.
Henry opened his mouth to speak as his eyes darted around the room, as if he would find the right words on the walls. “I- …William no offence but-“ Henry made a frustrated hum, as he blinked rapidly like he was trying to reset himself. He didn’t want to upset William anymore than he already was, for what ever was left of Williams sanity …and maybe for his own safety…
“…I kind of …already think you’re…crazy?” Henry regretted the words before he even finished saying them. Henry looked at his partner shocked like William was the one to say it, while William was giving him one of his signature ‘you did not seriously just say that’ faces, the one normally reserved for when Henry says something stupid in a business meeting… “I MEAN- I just- All Artists are right?! A little bit, ya know? …Crazy?” Henry’s arm shot up to his head as he scratched the back of it, like he was trying to dig his useless brain out. “Keeps the imagination alive! I mean all good art comes from strong emotions, right? That’s what they say, can’t make a painting without cutting off a ear or whatever-“ William brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose trying to stop the headache he felt coming on. He held up the other towards Henry, the palm of his hand facing forward in a gesture to stop Henry’s panicked rambling, “please my dear, I already said I wouldn’t kill you, so stop trying to dig your own grave…”
Henry looked down ashamed of himself, he always seemed to mess up his words if he didn’t have the time to make the perfect script, especially if he was panicked…
“…sorry Bill, just trying to let you know that… I’m not gonna judge you, alright?” Henry crossed his arms, not in a frustrated way, but like he was trying to hug himself for reassurance. “…I- …I wanna know what happened, and I’m letting you know now that I… I won’t make any promises just in case but… I probably won’t be mad,” Henry gave him a trusting look, one William didn’t think he deserved considering the topic of conversation. “Because you already did the right thing.”
William stared at Henry as he tried to blink the tears away, he already cried to much today, probably more than he had in years, It wasn’t good for his reputation…
But Henry was right, the only reason he knows is because Charlotte lived to tell him. William didn’t even know he was talking until he heard his own voice. “I …I didn’t want to hurt her… I promise, I’d never hurt my little girl,” he couldn’t stop himself from speaking any more than he could stop the tears from falling. “You must believe me, I’d never want to hurt Charlie, I’d never… not my little girl, not my little girl, not my-“ William just kept repeating himself like a broken record player, his eyes drowning with tears looked right through Henry and maybe even the wall behind him. William no longer felt like he was here, the tears running down his face reminded him too much of the rain water from that night, his shaking from fear too reminiscent of shivering from cold. The dim light of the room like his only witness, the moon.
William was a hypocrite, he made fun of Henry’s panicked ramblings earlier but he now couldn’t stop himself from ‘dipping his own grave’ as he called it, but out of the two of them, he was the one who actually deserved to lay in it. “…My poppet… no, I wouldn’t…” William felt himself get stuck in the memory as he vaguely noted Henry quickly stride over towards him, he felt arms around him but it didn’t help bring him back, he knew it wasn’t real, he should calm down, but he couldn’t. he tried to drag himself away from his own mind, but with each step away he made, it felt like he fell into a new hole sending him further down. The memory couldn’t even give him the benefit of staying still, it started to shift into a false reality, showing him events that didn’t happen, but they felt just as real… his poor Charlotte, his goddaughter, now truly like his actual daughter Thanks to his relationship with Henry. He tried to close his eyes as tightly as he could to stop the vision as if it wasn’t already in his own mind. A world where he did it… his poor baby laying in a puddle of more then just rain water, the light slowly fading from her little brown eyes, the ones that if you looked closely enough you could see flecks of green in them like little stars. Her face telling a story of confusion more then anger, like she thought she had deserved this betrayal if she just knew what she had done wrong.
It all felt too vivid, a nightmare come to life, “NOOOO I DIDNT MEAN IT! I PROMISE! I PROMISE! PLEASE COME BACK! PL-“ he tried to fall to the ground so he could hold her but something caught him on the way Down, he tried to fight against it as he registered it talking to him but he was determined to ignore it so he could comfort his child. “…please come back…”
“am… liam… will-“
“WILLIAM!”
The first thing William felt when he came to was a sharp sting on his cheek, he slowly brought his hand up to the now reddening mark on his face.
“…did you…?”
“DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST SLAP ME?!” William yelled at him thick posh British accent getting somehow stronger with the volume, he continued to stare at Henry bewildered after he finished his sentence, looking for an acceptable answer.
“WELL IT WORKED! DIDNT IT?!” Henry rose his voice to the same level and argued back, with a contrasting American accent. William wanted to refute the rebuttal but he noted the distinct lack of dead children in his line of sight and found he couldn’t argue it.
“…just because you’re right, doesn’t mean you’re…right?”
…
They both burst out in hysterical laughter, it wasn’t even a new joke, it was something they said often in their arguments, a sort of inside joke they had started in college. One moment They were having a screaming match over a stupid assignment, and the next the two were on the floor trying to breathe in through their giggles.
So there they were, like old times, on the dirty back room floor of their pizzeria, laughing at themselves for being idiots again.
As the laughter slowly died down Henry tried to properly explain himself, “Ha ha… my sister-“ he let a few more chuckles escape despite myself. “Oh ah, my- my sister said that her therapist told her that… when someone’s spiralling the best way to get them out is to shock them, like… give them something weirder to focus on, I guess?
William just looked at him with a dead stare and a slow blink. mouth slightly parted to let in air. before he deadpanned. “…well thanks Jen..”
they both tried to hold in their laughter that time but that just made it funnier. While they were distracted with their giggles again, William took time to properly think about it.
…it was right, the only times William had been brought out of his own head was when he had something more real to focus on, an emotion he found more important than the one he was trapped in. …Henry… he always went to Henry when he felt like he was getting stuck, even before they got together, his love for his best friend was always stronger than whatever was plaguing him. …and that night, …the shock of it being his Charlotte had stopped him from doing something terrible… he didn’t want to think of what would have happened had she not spoke up. …well, maybe because he already did, and it wasn’t a pretty sight…
“…I suppose you’re right though, the only person who could bring me back to myself is you, I’ve always relied on you for that… even if it was a bit selfish of me to use you to fix myself…” Henry put his hand on William’s shoulder to comfort him. “Hey, it’s alright Bunny, that’s what I’m here for, …world’s best boyfriend remember? William blushed slightly at The use of the pet name, it meant that things had obviously calmed down again. “I know, I know… but you shouldn’t have to be, I should just be… ugh- Normal!” William put the palm of his hands over his eyes and started pulling at his hair line with the end of his fingers. “William you’ve never been normal for as long as I’ve known you and, it hasn’t scared me off yet,” Henry took William hands away from his face. “And stop that, your hairline is already receding, No need to make it worse.”
William gave him the look again. “…well fuck you too.” And they both were determined to refuse to laugh again, They had done that enough.
“…William… please tell me what’s going on with you, it’s obviously distressing for you and I wanna be there to help, you say I’m good at fixing you… so please let me try?” Henry held William’s hands in his own as he gently rubbed his thumbs over Will‘s knuckles in a reassuring and comforting gesture.
“…I’m no animatronic Henry… this won’t be as easy as replacing some faulty wiring.” They both looked at each other remorsefully, like this would be the hardest thing they’ll ever do. Maybe it would be… “well, you know I’m always up for a challenge Will” Henry’s loving smile was all William needed to see to convince him. “But first, let’s get up, we’re old men we can’t be sitting on the floor anymore.” Henry got up and held out his hand to help his partner up, William complained as he followed. “We are not that old!” William dusted off his pants when he was standing again, he mumbled the rest of the sentence like it was contradictory and he didn’t want anyone to hear he was wrong. “…I’m only 32…” Henry brought his hand up to Williams face and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “And you don’t look a day over 22.” William looked off flustered, and did what he did best, avoided the flirting with a joke. “which is amazing considering all the stress I’ve been through in the last 2 years.” Henry chuckled and brought him over to the workbench and hopped on it to sit, legs hanging off the table. William followed his lead and sat down next to him, unlike Henry, his taller stature let his feet graze the floor. “So let’s talk about it huh? What’s been stressing you out, …you know, besides the obvious…” Henry softly ran his fingers over Williams springlocking scars on his lower arm, before bringing his movements all the way down and locking their hands together. “…I… that hasn’t really been bothering me, you’ve been a big help with that, I don’t thank you enough, truly.” William held his lover’s hand tighter, looking for reassurance, Henry gave his hand a squeeze back without interrupting to nonverbally tell him it was okay to go on. “…this problem has existed for a lot longer than the accident…” Henry noticed William’s eyes go blurry and his hand go slack, so Henry squeezed it again. “Hey, stay with me Bunny.”
William refocused again, slightly shaking his head, like he was jostling his thoughts back into place. “Right, of course I-“ William looked at the wall of animatronic heads like they would tell him the right words to say.
“…I don’t know how to say this politely…”
He could feel Henry looking at him.
“Then don’t.” Henry always had the wildest advice… but it normally worked so. “Okay then…”
“I have thoughts of killing people.” William closed his eyes like he was waiting for impact, like if not god striking him down, it would be the man beside him to do it. but all that came was, “yeah… I figured that.”
William let himself open his eyes and look at Henry confused, and a bit concerned. “…what..?” Henry just kept talking like this was a completely normal conversation, like they were talking about the weather instead of William’s murderous tendencies. “Yeah you know what people say about the ‘undressing someone with your eyes’ thing, well you have a ‘trying to murder someone with your eyes’ thing” William stared baffled as Henry continued like it was nothing. “Yeah… pretty sure the whole town has bets on when you’ll snap…” William was stunned into silence, opening and closing his eyes and mouth repeatedly like he was glitching, trying to think of anything responsible to say. “…and you… you didn’t say anything?!” Henry tried to defend himself. “Well to be fair! I’ve also wanted some of the people we’ve had to talk to ….to mysteriously get lost in the middle of the woods and never be found again” henry’s sentence got quicker the longer it went on. “but that’s neither here nor there.” William looked at him a little hopeful, like he found someone that understands. “…you… you want to kill people to?”
Henry jumped back startled. “NO! …I just…” Henry looked off guiltily. “Listen… I’m just saying that there’s some people that I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.” Henry looked back to William’s face, one that was obviously trying to hide disappointment. “…but I’m guessing it’s a little more than that for you…”
William looked at his shoes grazing back and forth on the chequered floor and sighed heavily. “…yes… ever since I can remember I’ve had a strong urge to take someone’s life…” William stopped himself, scared if he explained too much it would end in disaster, but Henry squeezed his hand again, telling him it was okay to talk about. William looked at Henry for comfort before bringing his head back down to the floor, he couldn’t look at Henry while he talked about this, as much as he wanted to. his gentle hand would have to be enough to get him through this. “Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to hurt people, it’s not about that, …I just…” William thought about the reasons, he never really let himself think it through before, always just trying to ignore it. “…I think it’s a power thing, to have complete control over someone’s life and death, to play god with reality.” He let himself look up at Henry again, like he was waiting for permission to go on. Henry knew what William was looking for and so gave him a small nod. William had to look down again before he spoke through a heavy breath. “…to… have control over someone’s emotions, to have someone be scared of me… to… finally get to be feared…” William thought over what he had just said and realised just how insane he sounded. “God you definitely think I’m crazy now…” he put his head in his hands, defeated.
Henry looked down at the same interesting spot on the floor that William was just staring at. “…no, that… that sounds like a trauma response…” William looked up at his lover through his fingers. “…what’s that…?” Henry gave him the softest reassuring eyes he could while he explained. “It’s when something bad happens and your brain tries to help you cope with it, often times in unhelpful and contradictory ways…” it was Williams turn to gave his partner the nod to go on. “…it sounds like you had an experience that made you feel unsafe and now your mind’s telling you, that to keep you safe, you now need to be the threat.” Henry continued to explain in the most understanding way he could, taking what he remembered from what he learned in therapy years ago. “As you said, it’s a power thing, whether it comes from you or someone you trust, you need someone to be in control of the situation so you can feel comfortable. When you feel like you’re losing yourself, you… start thinking of ways to overcorrect…” Henry looked remorseful, knowing what must have happened for William to turn out like this. William didn’t talk about his childhood and parents much, but from the little he did say, it didn’t sound fun… I mean, he moved entire countries to get away from it all, so he didn’t wanna imagine…
“You can’t get hit, if you knock them out first.” Henry looked back up to try and gauge Williams thoughts from his face, William was staring off like he could see though the wall, face deadpan, calm…
“…it’s eat or get eaten…” he mumbled, more of an offhand observation than actually trying to add the conversation.
“Exactly.”
Henry held his lover’s hand again, trying to keep him present, in the moment. William’s eyes looked dead again, too distracted thinking, instead of focusing on appearing normal. Henry wouldn’t mind it, if it wasn’t for the fact it often meant William was imagining things he didn’t like to think about…
William finally showed some emotion in his face, and it was confusion and anger.“…but why a child?! If it’s because I feel unsafe then why would I want to hurt a defenceless child?!” William swung his arms around dramatically as if he was going to catch the answer in the air.
“I don’t know Will, as I said, coping mechanisms often don’t make sense, they appear to try and protect us, but a lot of the time they don’t know when to properly apply themselves…” Henry readjusted the glasses on his face, waiting patiently for Williams response.
“…so what do I do about it…? I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially you, …especially the kids…” William’s voice just got quieter as his sentence went on, like the words would hurt him if they were too loud.
“Well, I could ask my Sisters therapist if they could see you, you’d have someone to talk to, give you advice, a professional that would be able to help a little better than I could.” Henry quickly added.
“Not saying you can’t talk to me about all this, I’ll always be there for you, you know that.” Henry brought him into a hug. “I love you, nothing will ever change that.”
William sunk into the warm embrace, wrapping his arms around his partners sides, and resting his head on Henry’s wide chest. “…thank you… I love you too.” William quickly remember to add. “Of course Bunny.” Henry held his love tight against him, knowing William liked the pressure, he had a feeling it reminded Will of his beloved suit. “…you’re like a big teddy bear… I’m just gonna stay here.” William’s words were comically muffled into Henry’s chest. Henry couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh no you’re not! we still have work to do cottontail.” Henry wrestled William off of him and stood up from the bench.
“Maybe I’ll start seeing a therapist again too, I think it could be good for both of us,” Henry started walking towards the door. “Maybe we should go to couples therapy” he joked.
“WE DO NOT NEED COUPLES THERAPY HENRY!” William wasn’t actually offended, he just yelled for the drama. With a small laugh he tried to stand up to follow his partner, but he found out too late that His legs had gone to sleep from sitting down too long. “Wow! Bunny you okay?” Henry ran over to catch his partner before he hit the floor, then he finally noticed… “…wait… where’s your cane?” William had the most guilty look of the day, even after everything they just talked about. “…I uhhhh, may have left it in my office…?” William had one of those ‘please don’t be mad’ smiles.
“WILLIAM!”
Henry watched him run out the door on shaky legs, he took a moment to breathe and put his head in his hand.
“…what am I going to do with you?”
He couldn’t help but smile.