Chapter Text
The dorm was quiet.
Suspiciously quiet.
Which, in Stray Kids terms, meant something catastrophic was about to happen.
Seungmin was curled up on the couch with a blanket and a mug of hot chocolate Chan had made him as “emotional compensation.” Chan sat beside him, arm draped casually over the back of the couch, radiating smug boyfriend energy.
They had survived the first wave — Han, Felix, and Hyunjin.
They would not survive the second.
The front door opened.
Jeongin stepped inside, earbuds in, scarf wrapped around his neck, looking like a college student who had just finished midterms and wanted nothing more than sleep.
He froze.
His eyes narrowed.
He stared at Chan’s arm around Seungmin.
Then at Seungmin’s pink cheeks.
Then at Chan’s stupidly proud smile.
Jeongin slowly pulled out one earbud.
“…No.”
Seungmin blinked. “What?”
“No,” Jeongin repeated, pointing at them like they were a crime scene. “I leave for three hours and THIS happens?”
Chan raised an eyebrow. “This has been happening for months.”
Jeongin’s jaw dropped. “MONTHS?”
Before Seungmin could answer, the door slammed open again.
Changbin stomped in, carrying two bags of groceries like he was returning from war.
“I swear, if one more person asks me if Seungmin is dating someone—”
He stopped.
He saw them.
He dropped both grocery bags.
A tomato rolled across the floor.
Changbin inhaled sharply.
Then he exhaled.
Then he inhaled again.
Then he pointed at Seungmin, voice trembling with betrayal.
“You mean to tell me… you’ve been in a relationship… THIS WHOLE TIME… and you didn’t tell your gym partner?”
Seungmin blinked. “That’s your main concern?”
“Yes!” Changbin yelled. “Do you know how many hours we’ve spent together? How many reps we’ve done? How many times I spotted you while you benched? And you didn’t think, ‘Hey, maybe I should tell Changbin I’m in love’?”
Seungmin sipped his hot chocolate. “I didn’t think it was relevant to lifting weights.”
Changbin clutched his chest. “Love is ALWAYS relevant to lifting weights.”
Jeongin nodded. “He’s right.”
Changbin pointed at Chan next. “And YOU. You’ve been letting me rant about my nonexistent love life while you were living in a K‑drama.”
Chan blinked. “I… didn’t know how to bring it up?”
Changbin groaned dramatically. “Unbelievable. I’m surrounded by liars.”
Before anyone could respond, the door opened again — this time gently.
Lee Know walked in, holding a bag of cat treats and looking like he had been enjoying a peaceful, drama-free day.
He took one look at the scene.
At Chan’s arm around Seungmin.
At Changbin’s meltdown.
At Jeongin’s betrayal stance.
Lee Know blinked once.
Twice.
Then he sighed. “I leave you children alone for one afternoon.”
Chan smiled nervously. “Hi.”
Lee Know stared at him. “So you’re the reason Seungmin has been smiling at his phone like an idiot.”
Seungmin choked. “I DO NOT—”
Jeongin nodded. “You do.”
Changbin nodded harder. “You really do.”
Lee Know shrugged. “It was obvious.”
Seungmin stared at him. “You knew?”
“Of course,” Lee Know said. “I live here. I have eyes.”
Jeongin threw his hands up. “WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LAST TO KNOW ANYTHING?”
Hyunjin suddenly appeared behind him like a ghost. “Because you’re a baby.”
Jeongin elbowed him. “Shut up.”
Hyunjin shoved him back. “Make me.”
Jeongin shoved harder. “Gladly.”
They started bickering in the hallway like two cats fighting over a sunbeam.
Lee Know didn’t even look. “If you break something, you’re both paying for it.”
Chan leaned closer to Seungmin. “Should we… stop them?”
Seungmin sipped his drink. “No. Let them tire themselves out.”
Changbin finally stopped pacing. “Okay. Okay. I’m calm.”
He was not calm.
He pointed at Chan again. “If you hurt him, I will personally drag you to the gym and make you do leg day with me.”
Chan blinked. “That’s… not terrifying.”
Jeongin crossed his arms. “If you hurt him, I’ll tell the fans you snore.”
Chan gasped. “You wouldn’t.”
“I would.”
Lee Know sat on the arm of the couch. “If you hurt him, I’ll simply kill you.”
Chan swallowed. “Noted.”
Seungmin rolled his eyes. “He’s not going to hurt me.”
Changbin sniffled dramatically. “Love changes people.”
Jeongin nodded. “It makes them stupid.”
Hyunjin, still wrestling Jeongin, yelled, “YOU’RE ALREADY STUPID.”
Jeongin kicked him. “YOU’RE STUPIDER.”
Lee Know clapped his hands once. “Alright. Since this is apparently real, we need rules.”
Everyone groaned.
“Rule one,” Lee Know said, pointing at Chan, “No excessive couple behavior during practice. I refuse to watch you two make heart eyes while I’m trying to count beats.”
Chan opened his mouth. Seungmin elbowed him before he could speak.
“Rule two,” Lee Know continued, “If you fight, we get custody of Seungmin.”
Chan groaned. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”
Jeongin shrugged. “We like him more.”
Seungmin nodded. “Understandable.”
Chan placed a hand over his heart. “Betrayal.”
“Rule three,” Lee Know said, “If you two start acting disgustingly cute, I’m moving out.”
Hyunjin yelled, “I’M COMING WITH YOU.”
Jeongin added, “ME TOO.”
Changbin nodded. “Same.”
Seungmin leaned into Chan. “Guess we’ll have the dorm to ourselves.”
Chan grinned. “Sounds perfect.”
“Ew.” Jeongin muttered.