Chapter Text
-Rose and Honeysuckle Rappaccini? asked the man at the door.
-That's us,” says Ivy. -My baby sister's first gala, she's going to be a real debutante!
Lonnie grinned shyly as them clung to Ivy.
-Congratulations and good evening to you both,” continued the man, waving them in.
When they returned to the mansion, Ivy whispered to them:
-So what do you need to use your magic?
-Once I had access to the computer, just 10 minutes and a bit of alone time.
-Quite simple, I take care of the host and direct you to the floor. If you get caught...
-I pretend I'm lost on the way to the bathroom...
-And?
-...If I'm really badly caught, I give a little kiss,” sighed Lonnie.
-Good baby rogue, Ivy said before gesturing to a man. -I'll take care of him.
-You could be his daughter,” says Lonnie in disgust.
-I think that's what turns him on.
-Gross but true.
-Come on, steal an apperitif and get to work!
****
They've taken 3.
Breaking into the office was easy and to theirs surprising sadness, the computer's code word too.
-Your dog's name? Hell, you could at least have chosen one of your mistresses for a bit of a challenge.
Compromising information, copies of contracts, addresses of associates, bribe material and funds, Lonnie takes it all, being as greedy as their target.
-You'll be calling Ivy Daddy soon, buddy, they laugh before picking up their belongings, erasing the evidence of their passage and heading downstairs to join Ivy.
-Hey, what are you doing?
Lonnie turned around and to their horror, they recognized Dick Grayson. Oh no, a little make-up and a dress won't stop him from going 2+2= Lonnie Machin.
-I'm looking for the bathroom,” said Lonnie, looking at the floor as they were embarrassed.
-It's on the other side,” says Dick.
-I'm sorry, it's my first time here.
-Oh, it's okay, it's a big house... Do we know each other? Your face looks familiar...
All right, time to improvise, decides Lonnie.
-Richard Grayson Wayne knows who I am?
*****
Imbecile, thought Dick. You just embarrassed that poor kid. And he has no idea where he might have met her.
-Uh..yeah, sorry I'm not good with names. Was it last month?
-Yes! It's nothing. Honey's my name,” said the girl, looking at the ground in embarrassment. -Thanks for...showing me the bathroom...I have to...
-Yeah, no problem, go ahead.
****
-Hey sis!
Ivy sighed inwardly and turned back to Lonnie.
-Baby sister, are you all right?
-I don't think apple juice with bubles works for me,” continued Lonnie.
-I think that's my cue to leave, gentlemen,” Ivy tells the men.
-She could go and lie down in a room while we continue our discussion,” says the first man.
-I could keep an eye on her if you like,” offered his companion.
Ivy wanted to kiss him with all her might, but held back for the mission and Lonnie.
She simply snapped a small foam ball between her fingers and said:
-Me and my sister are leaving this place, you've never seen us and you won't tell a soul.
-Are you ready?” Ivy asked Lonnie.
-Maybe one last thing before we go,” says Lonnie, amused.
*****
-Mister Grayson?
Dick turned to see Honey behind him.
-I just wanted to thank you for helping me earlier,” said the girl shyly.
-It's nothi...
The girl gave him a surprise hug before kissing him on the cheek, smile and fleeing.
-Yirk! says Tim. -I'll tell Barb.
-I didn't ask for anything,” says Dick in horror. -She must be about your age, and her smile is terrifying...
Wait.
*****
-Who's that?” asked Ivy, amused, picking up a bottle of booze.
-A guy I went to school with. I just thought it was funny that he didn't recognize me.
-Already addicted to adrelanine and feeling smarter, Ivy sighed. -What are we going to do with you, Lonnie?
-Keep letting me learn from your mistakes,” says Lonnie.
-Some will be better proffessors than others,” Ivy sneered as she headed for a car.
-Are we going home the same way? asked Loonie.
-Yes why?
-I'd like to take the food from the banquet and give it to people I know,” explained the teenager. -I mean, if we attack the people at the banquet, they won't lose their jobs and the homeless will eat their fill with things they'd never normally have access to.
-I have a counter proposal. Get in,” says Ivy, opening the car.
******
- It's a landfill, says Lonnie, looking at the field.
Ivy came out and buried something in the ground. 30 seconds later, a plant began to grow, just like in the accelerated movies.
-Whoa!
-I don't really like using them because faster growth also means shorter life,” says the plant woman.-But you just helped me save 3 forests, so I'll make an effort. Your friends will have fruits, vegetables and medicinal plants for 1 week, 2 if they take good care of the plants, after which they'll have to move to another area.
-You're the best! Lonnie said, hugging her.
-Don't make me regret having made you immune to my poison,” says Ivy mockingly.
******
A car stopped in the alley where Leg was sleeping. The wary old man opened one eye and saw a redheaded girl in a green ball gown approaching. She could be a rich kid feeling sensitive tonight, a brat taking advantage of her statue to tease him or just an drunk idiot.
-For you, Leg. Oh, and you'll give it a Roach, said the girl, placing a map at his feet and removing her shoes.
That voice...
-Lonnie?
But she's already running laughing and getting back into the car.
******
-Lonnie, where are your shoes? asked Ivy.
-I've given them to someone who would appreciates them far more than I do, whether wearing them or selling them.
-They're Neil Richard, do you know how much they cost?
-You paid for them?
-Touché. Get back in the car,” says Ivy, handing them an open bottle of champagne.
-Drinking and driving? asked Lonnie in horror.
-I'm immune to all poisons, including ethanol. But I still like the taste.
-At least,” says Lonnie, settling down and taking a sip themself. -...Wait, when you immunized me, did you…
-We'll fix that when you're 21,” Ivy says with a smirk.
-Oh come on!
******
-Don't underestimate me cause one day you're gonna see you're in a losing battle, babe, you'll never stop me being me cause whatever you give life, you're gonna get back. Why be a wallflower when you can be a Venus fly trap?, hummed Ivy and Lonnie, one holding their booty and the other the bottle as they made their way towards the greenhouse.
Lonnie then noticed a small figure in front of Ivy's lair. A figure with blond pigtails.
-Harley!
-Lonnie, wail!
But the teenager doesn't listen and rushes after the blonde woman.They're overjoyed to see her and to be able to show them what they've done with Ivy tonight. But all Lonnie's joy vanishes when they see her face.
Harley has 2 black eyes.
-Hey Lonnie…
-Who did this to you? ask Lonnie.
-Batm…
-Don't even try,” Ivy says coldly.
–Red, I don’t…
-Kids aren't stupid, Hal,” Ivy continued. -Are you alone?
-No, Bud and Lou are here too, Harley said, pointing to the two hyenas behind her.
One of the hyenas recognized Lonnie and tried to approach, but made a noise of pain. From the angle of his leg, it was broken.
-Were they hurt too? asked Lonnie in horror.
-They're trying to prote...to come between us,” Halrey resumed.
-All right, then, said Ivy.-Let's get you all fixed up.
******
-I'm so sorry,” says Harley. -We should be celebrating your victory, not pampering me.
-Harley, you've got broken ribs,” Ivy scolded her.
-One,” retorted Harley. -Don't be so dramatic.
-We can do both if you like,” says Lonnie, flattering Bud as he lies on their knees when Lou stayed close to Harley.
-Yes!” cried Haley, trying to hide a squeak of pain. -You have to roll in money at least once. You can give the whole thing away afterwards if you like, but you must at least do this first.
-Unfortunately, this money is virtual,” says Ivy. -Less dead trees like that.
-And personally, I'd be afraid of getting eczema even after Ivy's injection,” says Lonnie.
-Well, I need to find an alternative,” says Harley.
-Make me a matini with Gregorie Falstaf's tears and don't be afraid to go strong, Dr. Isley imunized me to alcohol.
-Oh come on,Red! The poor child has a right to have fun!
-When they turn 21.
-Oh you're not funny! How are they supposed to have fun at clubs with fake cards?
-That's not exactly what I'm doing with my fake cards, Harley...Not that it's believable that I'm 18 either.
-Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, given the latest developments,” says Ivy.
-Oh yeah, puberty blockers,” says Harley. -You're going to need it. By the way, don't think I didn't notice your pretty dress. How was exploring femininity?
-Amusing,” agreed Lonnie.-But that's not for me. I still prefer neutral but I might try something more feminine. The makeup was nice, but you'll never see me again in those ugly-ass shoes.
-They're giving said high-priced shoes to a homeless woman,” says Ivy.
-Oh tell me more, tell me more! ask Harley. -You know what? Let's have a sleepover to celebrate! I bet all your buddies will be jealous when they find out you were with the majority of Gotham's sirens.
-Honestly, you're welcome to leave a resume in 7 years, says Ivy.
-Really?” asked Lonnie and Harley in chorus.
-Yeah, Selina will end up joining that idiot at least until he breaks her heart and siren members aren't exclusively female, just off-limits to males.
-And Arsenic,” says Harley.
-Yes! Oh yes! Jane doe, Magpie, Witch, Vox, Pagan, Lonnie and even her sister Marchen are welcome but this bitch doesn't come into my greenhouse.
-What did she do?” asked Lonnie.
-She loves torturing children, poor minorities and destroying the environment all in a costume that screams I'm not like the other girls, I can be the housewife and the sex bomb.
-A winner,” says Lonnie. -Is she a war criminal and a nepo baby too?
-She was married to this politician who wanted to charge for pain relief during surgery.
-You're kidding me, right?
Lonnie is pleased that Harley seems to be having a good time despite her condition. Tell your gossip, learn to stitch, talk about your aggressive redistribution of resources, watch old episodes of grey ghost and try on new looks. It's basically a sleepover for adults. Yuck, they should find another expression. One similar to when they went to college.
-Lonnie tune to the earth!
-Hein?
-Someone may have their party in the body, Hal,” says Ivy.
-Seriously, are you going to tell me I have a bedtime?
-I'd like one of my own,” says Harley. -The old granny in me is exhausted.
Lonnie underpins the beating rather than her age being the problem.
-Because of Nursery creep, I've already slept too much for my taste but it's ok, I can work in bed.
-Don't stay up too late,” says Ivy, before adding. -I'm going to make your bed.
********
And she meant it literally. A bed of moss with an pillow of the same substance, giant leaves as a blanket, small weeping souls as curtains and piles of flowers all around.
-I'm Sleeping Beauty now? ask Lonnie
-I prefer Thumbelina, no sexual harassment rewarded in this story, Ivy retorted. --Come on, I'll tuck you in and you can tell me if you need more insulation.
-I'm 14 years old.
-...Okay, is it too young or too old?
-Seriously?” asked Lonnie, amused.
-I had an overprotective mother and an emotionally absent father, hell if I know what's normal.
-Let's say it's normal tonight.
For what Lonnie assumes may be a first time, Ivy is doing well.
-Ivy, about Harley....
-Oh don't worry, she's in no condition and having you in the next room takes away all my imagination…
-Huh? No! You do what you want with your bodies! Well, maybe tell me to put on headphones, because I'm not a peeping Tom...
-Kid, I’m kidding. What about Hal?
-Did the Joker do this to her?
-Yes. And he hurt their babies too.
Ivy didn't try to reassure them or pretend it was nothing. Like Crane, she decided to treat them like a adult.
Lonnie felt a cold hatred flowing through them.
-I want to kill him,” says Ivy calmly. -I don't care if Harley hates me after this. At least she'll be alive.
-Then, we'll make it look like an accident,” says Lonnie.