Chapter Text
Stiles sits in his room laying in bed. He lays there on his side, awake.
Quiet sobs come in from the hall. Stiles recognizes it as Scott. He wants to comfort him but he doesn’t even have enough energy to get up.
The past few days have been hell. Each day the symptoms get worse. No sleep, nightmares, constant shocking pain and tiredness, always weak and freezing, pale, dizziness, lightheadedness and throwing up blood.
The pattern the last few days has been a new symptom each day and if that’s keeping up then tomorrow Stiles legs will start giving out.
Stiles wants to cry because of the pain, inside and out but he can’t bring himself to cry. He doesn’t know how much more of this he can take. He already barely surviving. How is he supposed to endure even more?
There had been two reasons Stiles had asked Scott to kill him. One: Maybe if Stiles was gone the Void would die too. Two: he can’t handle the pain anymore and if he dies now he can save himself from the even more awful pain to come. He’s going to die either way.
An idea dawns on Stiles. He doesn’t know if it’s him or the extreme pain and suffering he’s going through and the nauseating thought of the worse pain to come that is speaking. Stiles decided that there’s only one thing left to do.
Stiles slowly gets out of bed and opens the door. He finds Scott slumped against the wall next to his door, asleep, his eyes red. Stiles tiptoes around him and down the stairs.
Downstairs he makes sure to be quiet as possible as he grabs a sharp knife from the drawer and head back upstairs.
Stiles slowly opens his door but is hit with a hard wave of lightheadedness and stumbles, smacking the door in the process. Stiles stumbles and quickly rights himself as Scott blinks slowly, now awake.
”Stiles? What are you doing up?” Scott asks
Stiles quickly hides the knife behind his back.
”Just needed some water.” Stiles says
Scott raises an eyebrow at Stiles hand hidden behind his back suspiciously.
”What do you got there?” Scott asks trying to see
”Nothing.” Stiles says, heart pounding. He grips the knife tightly.
Scotts eyes widen. “Is that a knife?” Scott asks loudly
Stiles knows he could have made up some excuse and Scott most likely would have believed him but in the moment he panics and slams and locks the bedroom door.
Scott pounds and yells trying to get the door open desperately. There’s no time to hesitate now. Stiles takes a deep breath. Tears run down his cheek. He doesn’t want to do this but he can’t handle it anymore.
Stiles presses the knife to his wrist and slices deep cuts up his arms. Soon the floor meets him and he collapses. In a pool of his own blood, the knife next to him.
Stiles hears more yelling and the door being slammed open. Multiple people rush in but Stiles only registers Scott.
Scott falls to his knees and grabs a nearby shirt and presses it to Stiles wrists.
“Stiles, what the fuck?” Scott yelps, holding Stiles on his lap, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.
”Why would you do this?” Scott asks
Stiles thrashes.
“Get off! Just let me die.” Stiles says in defeat
Tears streak down Stiles face. Scott puts his free hand on Stiles cheek.
“Why?” Scott asks
”I can’t do it anymore.” Stiles says defeated and quiet.
”I’m weak. It hurts so much. It’s only going to get worse and I can’t do it. At least this way I’ll die in less pain.” Stiles says in a monotone voice, a defeat look in his eyes, he’s give up on thrashing, too weak.
Stiles vision finally unblurs and he realizes everyone standing in the doorway, not moving closer. Stiles gets a burst of energy and thrashes again and struggling to his feet and backs into the wall away from everyone.
Scott stands too and slowly approaches like Stiles is a stray puppy he’s afraid of scaring
”Stiles, you’re bleeding.” Scott says
”I don’t care. I can’t go on. I’m already in unbearable pain how am I going to survive when it gets worse? It hurts so so much, Scott.” Stiles says rambling in an empty tone.
Scott visibly flinches
”I know. I’m sorry.” Scott says
”Please, Scott. I’m going to die either way. Please. You promised. Just let me go.” Stiles says numbly. His vision starts spotting from blood loss.
”I didn't promise that.” Scott says stepping closer.
Stiles is backed into a wall.
”You said okay.” Stiles says
”That was before I found out what you were asking me. I can’t let you die. You mean everything to me.” Scott says
Stiles voice cracks and tears run down his face as he continues rambling kn.
”Let me die. Please. I can’t wake up tomorrow knowing I wont be able to walk soon. Why go on knowing I’m going to die either way. At least this way I die in less pain. At least this way I’ll die on my own terms. Please, Scott. Please. Scott?” Stiles goes on.
Scott steps closer and pulls Stiles in. Stiles vision is spotting even more from blood loss and he heavily leans into Scott’s gentle touch and he puts Stiles head on his shoulder and press the shirt to his wrists.
Stiles is in a lot of pain for a moment then the world goes dark and he feels himself tip over. The last thing he hears is yelling.
***
Stiles wakes who knows how long later and slowly sits up. His arms are covered in heavy bandages. He attempts to stand but collapses onto the carpet floor of his room.
Stiles feels tears welling up. He won’t be able to walk again before dying. He’s one step closer to death now.
Stiles stumbles and struggles desperately trying to stand but after minutes of trying and failing to even half stand he falls back down and cries.
Stiles sits on the floor for a while before the door opens and closes.
”Stiles?” A voice says, Scott’s.
Scott kneels next to him.
”Are you alright?” Scott asks
”I can’t walk. I can’t even stand. My legs are useless.” Stiles says emptily. He doesn’t look up.
Scott stands and pulls Stiles up and Stiles can’t do anything but lean all of his weight into Scott and Scott easily puts him back into bed. Stiles sits there in defeat for a moment.
Scotts fingertips run along the bandages on Stiles arms.
”Do they hurt?” Scott asks
”Everything hurts.” Stiles responds and Scott nods
”Should I have let you die?” Scott asks
”I don’t know.” Stiles says. He truly doesn’t know if it was wha was best. It’s just what his pain and panic had caused him to do.
”Why did you do it?” Scott asks
”Just as I said. The pain is too much and it’s only getting worse. Now I can’t walk. I’m going to die either way might as well do it in less pain.” Stiles says again
Scott nods again. He’s silent for a while.
”What am I going to do without you?” Scott asks
”Finally accepted my death?” Stiles asks
“No, I won’t ever. But there’s a good chance it’s going to happen whether I want it too or not.” Scott says
Stiles nods sadly.
”I’m so sorry, Stiles.” Scott says
”It’s not your fault.” Stiles says
”It’s is. You’re my pack and my best friend I should have protected you.”
”You did your best. It’s not your job or fault.” Stiles says
”it is my fault.” Scott says
”No, it’s not. If your to blame anyone blame the Void. It did this to me.” Stiles says
”I can’t live without you.” Scott says
”You’ll be okay. I know it.” Stiles says
“I don’t think so..” Scott says and there’s a moment of silence.
”I’m still going to try and save you.” Scott says
”Thank you, Scott. But if I do die, it’s okay.” Stiles says
Theres another long pause.
”Stiles?” Scott asks
”Yeah?” Stiles asks
”Can I hug you?” Scott asks
”of course, man.” Stiles says
Scott pulls Stiles into a warm and soft hug. Stiles can barely move so me just nuzzles into the crook of Scott’s neck. They stay like that for a long time.
”I love you, man.” Scott says
Stiles smiles softly
“I love you too.” Stiles says
The last thing Stiles thinks before falling asleep in Scott’s arms is “I’m sorry.”