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To Astryx, a sister I once loved,
Lae’zy is helping me write all this out, I’m still not very good with letters and stuff. I’ve been holding a lot of emotions in for a very long time, and I’m ashamed of what it's made me.
I should have never said okay, when you apologized, it wasn’t fair to you to think I’d forgiven you.. when I hadn’t. It’s taken me a long time to see you for who you are now, rather than who you were. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay, not from the trauma, the beatings.
It’s like, I trusted you, ya know, you were my big sister, and you took that trust and turned it into something else. I know that bhaal did some of this, but some of it was just you. I can’t forgive that, never. I can’t forget, I can’t help it, but what I can help is neglecting who you are now..
I’m sorry sister, I do love you, no matter how many times I tried to say I didn’t.. even when you hurt me, I still loved you..
~
“It’s okay Ari.. take your time.” Lae’zel comforts her wife, as she composes herself and dictates her letter again.
~
I just.. I needed you to know that I did, I hate how we ended things the other day, when you were taking La’ria to the park, I said I hated you, and I don’t know if I was trying to convince you or myself. I see a warm gaze and I want to slam the door on it, to push away love that for so long I felt undeserving of.
I’m tired of pushing you away sister, I’m tired of the fighting, the hate, the grudges. Please just be my sister again..
Love, Arilda, your sister.