Chapter Text
Three Weeks until Valentine’s Day
“You are not yourself today, Shroud.”
“I’m sorry…” he bows his head and finally pours the reagent he had been holding suspended in mid-air into the bubbling mix. It was not a mistake. Not per se. However, this hesitation happened for the third time in a row. The mixture they were working on was not volatile in nature. He had been his consistent alchemy partner since the beginning of the semester, decisive and brilliant in the way he handled all sorts of mixtures, so the repeated hesitation seemed odd, especially for Shroud.
Malleus increased the flow of ice underneath their mini-cauldron and waited. Two minutes, was what Crewel said. Malleus flips the sundial to his left. Shroud, too, had leaned back into his chair. He checks his phone again, and, for the umpteenth time, he sighs as he turns the screen off…and puts it back in his lab coat pocket.
“Bad news?”
“Ah…” a nervous laugh follows. “N-no, It- It’s fine. Sorry. Just…,” a hand wave follows. “Pretend I’m a bug and ignore me.”
“Why would I pretend you were a bug? You are clearly a human.”
Shroud’s nervous laughter followed.
“Just…a figure of speech. But don’t mind me.”
Malleus found it hard to do so, but he decides not to push further. Idia Shroud remained an enigma.
Two minutes passed, but Shroud did not move from his seat. Malleus retracts his magic from underneath their cauldron, and only then does Shroud notice that the mixture needed attention. His apology comes too quick…again.
“You seem distracted, Shroud.”
The human presses his lips together for a moment, but is quick to calm his face. Without truly looking at Malleus, he gives him a half-smile, rehearsed and artificial.
“I’m fine.”
“Is it something I did?”
“No! Not at all!” Shroud shakes his head.
For the first time today, he sounds genuine.
“It has absolutely nothing to do with you,” he nods to reaffirm his statement. “I promise.”
Malleus nods. “Alright then, Shroud. I shall not pry.”
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Human wisdom says one must not to lie to a fairy, but, there is no equivalent for the fae, because pry Malleus did!
He had watched Shroud gather his belongings the moment the bell rang and rushed out of the alchemy lab. His curiosity consuming him like hunger, he follows Idia Shroud into the library from a reasonable distance.
Malleus selected a desk near the front, far enough from where Idia Shroud was sat at the back, but still in his eye of sight.
It started off as every individual study session. Shroud had taken the pile of books and notes out of his bag in one go and slammed them onto the library table. Going through them, he takes out the one in the middle, and shoves the rest of them to his right. He takes out a tablet too, and places it in front of it. Then, he stood up, walked to the shelf to his left, browsed through some books, glanced at his phone, than set back down, and looked at his phone again. He repeats this twice more. On the third iteration, the only thing that changed was that he picked up a book from the shelf. He looks at his phone one more time, and closes his eyes in the most vivid expression of some kind of hidden grief.
He drags a hand through his fiery hair, mutters something under his breath, moves his phone to the side, then slumped onto the table, arms forward, placing his forehead on top of his hands. Malleus can hear another groan.
Then, as if deciding all this barely hidden grief had run out, Idia Shroud finally sits up, and opens the book in front.
Malleus lost track of time watching Idia Shroud doing scholarly pursuits. The sharp, focused expression on his face as his eyes scanned the pages in front of him, the way his hands turned them with gentle precision…
When the Little Shroud arrived, Malleus had finally returned to the present. The spirit of learning that had possessed him seemed to have disappeared. Shroud now looked…different. Smaller. From his gestures, and the way the Little Shroud kept gesturing to him to be quiet, Malleus could infer that Shroud was upset with something. When the Little Shroud warned him again, there was a nod.
Malleus watched them relocate to the section of the library where voices were allowed, and Malleus immediately followed suit. He selected a shelf nearby, and pretended to browse. The location gave him a good view of the two, if he just moved a few books away, and would remain either hidden or unnoticed.
Also, from here, he could hear everything.
Shroud was pacing, phone in hand. Three steps, then a half turn, then two more. The rhythm is steady. Hypnotizing, even. The book he had picked up for appearances stayed unopened in his hands.
“I just don’t understand why they would do that,” he said, voice pitched low but sharp, gesturing at his phone to the Little Shroud.
“It’s an idol event. An idol event. The fanbase is full of people like me. Couples only PREMO event,” Idia Shroud scoffs. “They should fire their entire PR department. I'm not even joking.”
The Little Shroud floated nearby, his rhythmical movement a sharp contrast to the unsettled Shroud.
“Focusing on couples’ activities during this time of year is an established business practice.”
“Couples? For Valentine’s day? Groundbreaking...”
“Quoting popular movie quotes will not get you out of your predicament.”
“Let me at least have that…”
Shroud looks at his phone again, then points it at the Little Shroud.
“This is evil. Evil and lazy. And exclusionary.”
“Exclusionary?”
“Toward me,” Shroud pauses, then winces at his words. “…And the rest of the fanbase…”
Malleus turned a page to keep up appearances. Instead of reading, however, he was fully focused on the intensity of this rather peculiar conversation unraveling before him.
“Valentine’s Day activities increase engagement, meaning, in the long run, more events, more merch and more…everything.”
“PREMO doesn’t need increased engagement from…” he pauses, then winces. “normies!”
Shroud scoffed, but judging from the way the Little Shroud reacted, not directly at him. At some unnamed ‘them’, it seemed. Well, he did not lie back in alchemy class. It did not have anything to do with Malleus indeed.
Shroud then sighed, rubbing his face.
“I’ve followed PREMO since their debut,” he almost whispered, a tinge of sadness in his voice.
Shroud slumps back down onto the comfortable-looking bench.
“I was there from their first livestream. Never skipped one. Ever.” Shroud shakes his head.
“And the one time. The one and only time where I could actually go and see them in person is paywalled by the ability to find someone to exchange bodily fluids with.” Shroud makes a disgusted face at his own statement.
Shroud leaned his head onto the backrest, now staring at the ceiling. He let out a sigh…then two. “I think I’m allowed to be pissed off about this.”
“This problem could be solved by getting a romantic partner.”
Shroud snorted, rather loudly.
“Right. Let me just drop by the Mystery Shop and buy one.”
“That would be illegal under at least seven jurisdictions of Twisted Wonderland.”
“That was a joke…”
“Noted.”
The Little Shroud falls quiet for a couple of moments.
“I can suggest possible candidates,” the Little Shroud’s sentence made Idia Shroud’s hair turn all pink, and Malleus watched as he desperately tried to get the humanoid to turn silent, but to no avail. Malleus found himself grinning in sheer amusement. He heard a familiar name, or two in the Little Shroud’s list, but all of them were promptly declined. No mention of his own, however. Disappointing, but not surprising.
“You are being uncooperative.”
“And you are being…” Idia Shroud stops in his tracks. Then shakes his head. “Never mind. Let’s just…forget this whole thing. I’ll watch the livestream… That’s good enough.”
“The probability of mutual romantic intent forming between you and someone else within three weeks is relatively low, but not impossible. Other cases suggest that…”
“Other cases are not me. Look, Ortho, let’s just…”
“You could make the relationship up.”
Idia’s brows furrowed, and his head tilted to the right. He shoots a glance the Little Shroud’s way.
“...I’m sorry…What?!”
“The event verification criteria are most likely assessed through visual and behavioral cues. That can be easily fabricated for appearances.”
“No,” Shroud flatly rejected. He shook his head to further affirm his stance. “Absolutely not.”
“This seems like the optimal solution. Why do you reject it?”
“Because it’s a bad idea.”
“Bad…how?”
“It would be awkward.”
“I can suggest discomfort threshold management exercises for the duration of the event.”
“It would be lying.”
“Only if the other person isn’t aware of your intention…”
The Little Shroud stops, then, voice now more excited then before, continues.
“I can propose another solution.”
“No.”
“You can attend with someone who’s completely aware the relationship is performative.”
Shroud freezes for a moment, seemingly giving it a thought. Then, he shakes his head.
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s not just a ‘couples only’ entrance. If it’s just the live then livestreaming is completely fine. What I want is the meet-and-greet, but it’s conditional on participating in couple-themed games and challenges. Even if I fake a whole-ass relationship, that’s where it would all crash and burn…”
“Unless both you and your potential ‘partner’ prepare.”
“And where do I get one such benevolent ‘partner’ with enough free time to do all this for me?”
“There is an individual standing by the shelf behind us whose cooperation likelihood is high.”
Clear that the Little Shroud meant him, Malleus found no reason to hide himself anymore. He stepped out, still with a book in hand.
“Greetings, Shroud,” he bows. “The Little Shroud,” he bows again.
“No,” Idia Shroud caught a look of Malleus, and an uncharacteristically subdued expression of surprise faintly showed up on his face. Malleus suppresses a chuckle.
“I could not help but overhear your conversation.”
𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝...𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝...𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝...
“This event of yours…
“If you heard anything I said, it wouldn’t be fair. Even if we did do this, it would require an insane amount of preparation, and I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.”
“Would you reconsider your stance if I said that arrangement would be mutually beneficial?”
Shroud frowns.
“I’m sorry Mr. Malleus and I mean this with no offense but how would an idol concert ever be beneficial for you? Like…ever?”
Malleus chuckles before he replies.
“You see, Shroud,” Malleus casts him a glance, which has, successfully, made the human blush.
“I have never been to a…” Malleus tests his words. “Live concert. Nor have I ever engaged in ‘Valentine’s day’ activities. The time I have left in your society is little, therefore, anything not experienced yet is rather enticing to me.”
“Wouldn’t you, like, get in trouble for being seen with someone on Valentine’s Day? Royal protocol or something?”
“No?”
“No?” Shroud frowns again. “When that whole unfortunate thing with the ghost bride happened, remember that? Wasn’t the only reason you were excluded from Crowley’s plan because you being romantically involved would set off an international scandal or something?”
“Ah.” Malleus lets out a laugh.
“Indeed so, but that is only in the context of marriage. You do not intend to marry me afterwards, do you, Shroud?”
“...no…”
“Although there ought to be some conditions.”
The Little Shroud clasped his hands in cheer.
“Boundaries are advisable.”
“This is a terrible idea,” Shroud groaned as he covered his face. When the hands came down, shyly, he treaded, carefully.
“…Hypothetically,” Shroud stops to compose himself. Then, after a few moments more, he let out a long breath, “what kind of conditions?”