Chapter Text
Shoulders ache. They quiver, when time and time again the same movements are made. It's so repetitive. So cold and calculated. Each bone- each muscle- tenses with every agile trend in motion. Tsukishima blocks out the laughter in the back, Hinata’s hysterics bouncing against the hardwood floor as Kageyama reprimands the shorter.
‘God do they ever shut up’ Tsukishima thinks to himself, walking over to the sidelines to meet Tadashi. The latter is gulping- inhaling the bottle of water given to him. Tsukishima stays quiet however. He's got to cut him some slack.. It is his first time playing a whole half before…
Tsukishima does not suppress the chuckle that escapes his lips. Yamaguchi's eyes widen and he disconnects his lips from the entrance of the bottle. “SHORRYY’’ He squeaks, water dribbling down his chin- a sheepish smile gracing his spotted face. “Mhmmm..” Tsukishima agrees teasingly, letting air out of his nose, a slight hoot on his part.
Tadashi shoved the bright yellow bottle towards Kei’s side, clearly meaning for him to take and chug from the same spit filled, bacteria farming opening as him. Kei almost gagged at the thought, tongue about to stick out and allow the (very little) contents of his stomach to roll out.
‘Thinking about it almost makes it.. Worse’ Tsukishima pondered, stomach churning at the notion. “No thanks.” he declined, thrusting both his arm and the water away from him. Tadashi understood, he always did anyway. He saw how Kei’s face scrunched up, staring away from the shared nozzle. He saw his fear, or what he called frustration, especially when it came to germs and contamination. Tadashi’s seen it all before.
He recalls, they were 13 and Tsukishima's list of foods he considered ‘safe’ were shortening, smaller than they ever had been before. He’d see the other children at school throw, smear, vomit up the food he trusted to eat. “No.” he’d often repeat, “it doesn't affect me or anything.. I just think it's gross and immature.” He muttered, carefully moving the papers around the project they’d spent the last hour on. But Tadashi saw.
Tadashi always saw.
How could he not? He’d watch as he saw Tsukki’s fork being pushed around the strawberry shortcake bought for him (Yamaguchi remembers the way he made sure they would get him the right one, from the right store, from the right baker otherwise the texture would be off), scared he was going to throw up like Akiteru did, despite the latter being pissed drunk. Tadashi saw him, when Tsukki screamed at his own mother, exhausted from being so self-starved he couldn't keep up with his emotional regulation. Yamaguchi still remembers watching Kei’s mother trying to book an appointment with the dietitian almost immediately after, while Tsukki ran upstairs and Tadashi froze at the doorframe in shock. Tadashi saw him when he came back from his first CBT-AR, (Cognitive-behavioural therapy for ARFID. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi sitting in grass- Kei telling the spotted cheeked boy about what his mother was 'nagging' him to do. Tadashi thinks its funny, the way the phrase had escaped his tongue in a way that seemed almost bored- that would've looked like plain disinterest to any other.) Kei's eyes red and swollen, weary from the session. Tadashi saw him, no matter what stage of life he was at, because he had seen the 16 year old boy cry into his pillow, fearing bacteria, and choking, and over eating, and heart attacks and all the food related issues in the world that may never apply to him, for YEARS. Tadashi always saw the scared boy, and he understood his alarm.
Yamaguchi would never give his best friend any trouble for that anyways.
Why would he?