Chapter Text
There was some arguing but in the end the Freelancers decided they are only allowed to go back to Blood Gulch Mall together so none of them missed any of the action.
Going there is definitely a good way to wind down and take a break from their stressful jobs. In the last month the Mall idiots never failed to entertain them and make them laugh after a long night.
South was especially excited to see what they were going to do next. “Do you think Caboose is going to ‘kill’ Church again today?”
Wash sighed, “Hopefully not, watching Doc’s horrible first aid and not being able to do anything about it hurts my soul. South you really have to stop forcing me to not do anything when someone gets hurt.”
Florida laughed, “C’mon Wash, let them have fun. Interfering could ruin the show”
York agreed, “I really need this after a long day, It has actually been making me look forward to the mornings.” Main nodded in agreement.
“Fine, fine, I’ll stop complaining.”
It’s especially funny how the workers don’t think anyone can hear them talking, even though the food court is so small and they don’t even attempt to lower their voices.
Tex spoke up, “We should start heading over, I don’t want to miss anything.” she said with a smile, something they all have been doing more often since watching the Reds and Blues.
Wyoming gave a mischievous smirk, “Oh, missing your boyfriend already?”
He just got a death stare in response. After Tex’s brutal take down of Tucker's flirting attempts Church seemed to think he had a better chance, and considering Tex didn’t threaten to punch him in the balls like Tucker, he seems to actually be getting close to her.
-
“Men! We are finally winning the war against those dirty Blues.” Sarge said, pacing back and forth like an actual drill sergeant.
“Yay! People are actually buying food from our shop.” Donut exclaimed happily.
Simmons added in, “It’s all thanks to your hard work, Sir”
Griff just looked bored, “yay, we are just so good that 5 people have decided to eat at this shitty burger place over the shitty pizza place.” he said, sarcastically.
“That’s 6 customers private!, and soon we’ll be getting more when we finally take down the other team. All we need to do is blow up their shop and they will be out of the job and we will gain all of the profits.”
“We get paid less than minimum wage,” he replied in a deadpan.
-
“Dude, what are they doing?”
Church was using binoculars to ‘spy’ on Red’s Burgers and learn all of their secrets on why they are getting more customers. “It seems like their manager is giving a speech but I can’t make out what they’re saying.”
“Can I use the binoculars?” Tucker asked, trying to not sound excited at the idea of using them.
“Sure” But before Church could hand them over Caboose interrupted them.
“Church, Church, can I use them? Please, please, I really want to try them.”
“Um, I think I’ll just keep these for myself actually.”
“Damn it! Fuck you Caboose you ruin everything.”
-
“This is never going to get old,” CT said with a big smile on her face.
The others just nodded. “Should we be worried about Sarge wanting to explode things?” Carolina asked, “I’d rather not deal with any bomb threats”
“Yeah I really don’t want to end up like Georgia,” North added.
“Wait, what happened to Georgia?” No one answered Wash.
It was then that Doc walked in.
Griffed signed “Ugh, haven’t we’ve made it clear that we don’t want you here.”
“Shut it fool! If you don’t want to see me anymore than you can just jump off a bridge, then you wouldn’t see anything anymore, Muahhahahaha”
“O’Malley, can’t you just fuck off already, we rather see Doc over you and that’s saying something.” Church cut in.
The Freelancers are starting to feel like they did when they first walked in to watch the Reds and Blues. South gave a smirk, “Oh this is going to be good.”
Church kept talking, “What are you doing here? I thought you went off to rule the world or something.”
“Those plans are still underway. I have come to recruit underlings and you weak willed idiots are the perfect candidates. Not to mention anyone desperate enough to shop here would be easily manipulated to join me.”
Lopez followed him in, “Puta, quieres decir eso otra vez?” (Fucker do you want to say that again?)
“Not you Lopez, you are the only tolerable worker here. I know that if you didn’t have a felony on your record you would have already taken over.” This apparent O’Mally acquiesced.
York was confused, “What happened to Doc? Why are they calling him O’Malley now?”
Main was starting to stand, “Maybe he’s gotten a brain injury. We should check on him.”
Before Main could make his way over, even with some of the other Freelancers trying to hold them back, the real Doc walked in.
“Hey guys. Sorry for being late. I had to finish my daily stretches.”
“I’m glad you’re keeping yourself all nice and loose, it’s something that would definitely help you in the future.” Donut told Doc.
“DONUT!” Simmons squeaked.
“Yeah it’s a great help for my Yoga classes.” Doc answered obliviously.
”Ah, DuFrense, nice to see you have finally decided to curse us with your presence.” O’Malley said grumbling.
”Great, now both buzzkills are here.” Tucker said, rolling his eyes.
Then another man in a trench coat appeared, “Andy!” Sarge’d barked, “Just the man I wanted to see.”
”Woah, lower your fuse. I have the good shit, but only for a price of course.” The newly dubbed Andy, said.
York’s mouth dropped, “Are we about to see a drug deal right in front of us.”
The police officers readied themselves for an arrest, even if it does ruin the ‘show’ they wouldn’t just allow any crimes to occur in front of them.
Andy opened up his trench coat and showed off… fireworks?
Church groaned into his hands ”Yeah, what’s next? Sheila’s going to walk in?”
Caboose then started yelling at the appearance of a professional looking woman, ”SHEILA! SHEILA! SHEILA! Hi Sheila!”
”Hello Caboose, I hope you have completed the training guide on how to use the ovens.” She said with a smile.
”Ummm, why were there six switches when there's only four pizza slots?”
”Hola mi amor, me encanta mirarte (Hello my love, I'm glad to see you)” Lopez said, uncharacteristically happy.
”Me too love” She answered sweetly.
Before Sheila could continue Church cut in again, “Oh my god, it’s a whole fucking party right now isn’t it.”
“Ah yes, Church I have a message from your father.” The woman gave him a letter.
North gasped, “Are we about to get some lore?”
Church took the letter then handed it over to Caboose, “Thanks Sheila but you can tell him to fuck off.”
There was a loud rip then an even louder “Tucker did it” came behind Church.
Sheila handed him another letter, ”He did predict you might destroy his first letter so he made a second one, he also said that if you want the letters to stop then you can just unblock him.”
Church snatched it out of her hands “Fine! You can go and fuck off now”
Lopez then walked up to Church and slammed his hand down on the counter, giving him a dead eyed stare “No hablas a Sheila en ese manera (Don’t talk to Sheila in that way)”
Church flinched back, “I mean, thank you Sheila, you do so much for me, you’re just amazing.”
“Eso es mejor (That’s better)”
”You’re welcome Church” Sheila then turned back to Lopez with a bright smile, “I got you the rest of the day off, let’s go to our favorite coffee shop and finish writing our manifesto.” And dragged him away by the hand.
Wash nodded “We’re definitely seeing lore right now.”
”Dude what does it say?” Tucker asked
Church quickly read the letter then hid it away in his apron. “It doesn’t say anything now fuck off.”
“Blue you can’t just leave us hanging like that” Griff said
”It’s none of your fucking business Red.”
“Um, considering the person who owns this mall just sent you a letter I think knowing what it says does concern us.” Simmons snapped. “I can’t lose this job, I wouldn’t be able to handle another job interview.”
That caused bickering to break out between the workers.
Florida was jumping in his seat, ”Oh damn we’re getting so much lore right now.”
In the background O’Malley was pitching his plan to Andy who was actively listening, “Are you saying I could set off some fireworks?”
”You would be able to do more than just set off some small fireworks Muahahaha.”
And Doc was having a conversation with Donut, “I can send over my morning stretching routine if you would like, but you would also have to do some nightly stretches if you really want it to be effective.”
Donut was actually very interested, “Ooh I would love that, if you could also tell me where you do your yoga that would be great.”
Caboose meanwhile, was trying to ‘fix’ the letter he ripped by rubbing Aloe Vera on it.
Main was getting overstimulated “Too much is happening at once I can’t keep up.”
Wyoming agreed, “We’re going to end up missing the important parts with so much going on.”
Tex stood up and started heading towards the pizza stall, everything went silent very quickly.
”Can I get a drink?”
Church ran up to the register and was the one to respond, “Yeah yeah I can get you a drink, I can get you anything you want. What do you want, I mean, what can I get you?”
Tex grinned, “A coke would be just fine.”
”Yup, let me just,” Church grabbed a cup and tried to fill it using the soda machine behind him, only for it to stop working and give a concerning creaking sound.
Church gave Caboose a nasty glare, “Tucker did it.”
He then turned back to Tex and gave an awkward laugh, “Just one second”
He then ran to the Burger stand and started using their soda machine, “How dare a dirty blue touch what’s ours.”
”Shut it old man, my dad owns the mall so technically this is also mine.”
Wash whispered in shock, “His dad owns the mall?”
“Why you!” Before Sarge can make a move Donut held him back, “Sarge we’re seeing love blossom before our eyes you can’t ruin it.”
Church then ran back and slammed his drink on the counter, spilling some of the soda, “Orders up, I mean, yeah, um, here.”
Tex’s grin got wider, “How much is it?”
”It’s on the house!” Church then flipped his hair and leaned on the counter trying to look cool, “Because you’re so beautiful.”
She laughed at that, “Thanks” and walked back towards the Freelancers.
After she was far away enough Church groaned then banged his head on the counter. Even though she was clearly in eye and earshot they acted like she just disappeared.
”Nice one dude, you got her to laugh” Tucker consoled patting him on the back.
Simmons spoke up, “She didn’t call you a loser so that was something”
Griff shared his thoughts, “I would make fun of you but considering the only thing I’ve said to girls in the last few years was, ‘What would you like to order?’ I can’t really judge.”
Church just groaned again.
Many of the Freelancers were laughing so hard while trying to keep quiet that tears started falling from their eyes.
Andy addressed Sarge, “Dudolino, give me three days and I’ll get you the good stuff.” Then looked to the side, “O’Malley right? Let’s continue this conversation somewhere else.”
”Muahahaha let us shall.”
”Oh that reminds me, I’ll send over my routine later Donut, my shift is starting soon.” Doc then turned away and left.
The food court was finally quiet saved for Church’s sounds of despair.
“Church! I fixed the letter.” And right next to his head did a paper covered in tape and Aloe Vera appear, completely ineligible.
Tucker gave a look of disgust at the paper, “So dude, what did your dad say?”
Church finally lifted his head and was left leaning sadly on the counter. “Something about wanting me to work for his actual successful business and leave this hazard of a mall he’s been trying to get rid of for years.”
Simmons gasps, “He’s really trying to close down the mall? Blue, tell him not to do that!”
The Freelancers gave each other panicked looks. They just found their entertainment and it really has been a big help in keeping their spirits up and getting through a tough day. They don’t know how they would be able to go back to before.
North cried into his hands, “This can’t be happening”
York followed, “No, I can’t go back” he snapped out of it though when Carolina punched him in the arm, “ow”
South was scowling, “I’ll kill the owner if he even thinks of closing down this mall.”
“Stop bitching Red, didn’t you hear that he’s been trying for years but couldn’t close down this mall.” Church rolled his eyes.
Wash couldn’t help but let out a “Yes!”
The Reds and Blues all glanced over at them.
The Freelancers then started to act like they weren’t paying attention, Florida and Wyoming started to play Rock, Paper, Scissors. CT, Carolina, and South started talking about the weather. Wash and Main were playing patty cake, and North and York started a staring contest. All while Tex was just enjoying sipping on her drink.
After a second the workers went back to their own conversations and forgot about the watchers.
Griff spoke up, “So what are you going to do? Leaving this shitty mall doesn’t sound too bad.”
Church sighed, “I don’t know, as long as I work here then he has to keep the mall open. And since I know he hates it so much I won’t leave out of spite.”
The nonsense bickering just continued and that was when the Freelancers decided it was time to leave.
CT groaned, “What are we going to do? We’re relying on Church for this mall to stay open.”
Wyoming looked towards Tex with pleading eyes, “You have to make sure he stays. Going back to before finding the mall would be torture.”
Florida was trying to be optimistic, “Church said he wanted to work there to spite his father, it could be years before anything happens.”
Most of them nodded in agreement.
Carolina blinked, “Are we all starting to act like those idiots? I feel like our IQs have dropped since we started coming.”