Chapter Text
His house started feeling like a prison.
No matter how hard he tried, every single glance, every accidental brush of hands made his pulse rush. Chris was right, he was going insane.
He started leaving even earlier, before Yuuri woke up. He practised his free skate and placed every ounce of his frustration into his routine.
He danced for Yuuri, for the ache in his chest, for the future that wasn't meant for him. Jump after jump, and his legs screamed in protest, but he pushed through and into a spin.
The sudden clash of doors threw him off balance.
,,You're earlier than me." Yurio stated with a trace of annoyance apparent in his voice as he threw his bag onto a nearby chair.
,,It's not a competition." Victor breathed out, brushing back his bangs as he approached the edge of the rink for some water. He threw an empty bottle aside, Yuri watching his every move as he laced his skates.
,,What is going on with you?" He asked as he got on the ice and began his warmup.
Victor followed soon after, working on his short program this time and completely ignoring the blond who now huffed angrily beside him. ,,Victor I’m serious.”
,,Is this about Alyssa?" Victor stopped in his tracks, the ice shards falling from under his blades.
His head snapped back so quickly it sent a sting of pain through him, but he paid it no mind. ,,Chris told you?"
,,He didn't have to, you're really not subtle, dude." Yurio crossed his arms on his chest and skated around, still frozen Victor.
,,Ever since the gala, you've been acting weird, I mean weirder than usual." He continued.
,,You go to practice early, the only time you speak to Yuuri is when you're correcting his form. It's only fitting it's about that." His circling got faster. Victor closed his eyes, the spinning figure becoming even quicker.
,,You're making me dizzy." Thankfully, Yuri didn't argue and stopped in front of him.
,,Talk to him." He tilted his head back as if the cold, white light from the LED lamps might provide him with any comfort.
,,I can't." His voice was barely louder than a whisper. Yuri brushed his hand through his long strands and groaned loud enough to echo through the rink.
,,Don't come crying to me when you make him hate you." The words felt like a punch to his gut.
He couldn't do this today.
Victor got off the rink and called Yankov to take over with Yuuri for today. His coach agreed reluctantly. He knew as soon as he came back tomorrow, he would be bombarded with questions, but that would be his future problem.
After he got back to the apartment, he wasn’t sure what to do with himself.
Victor stared at a leftover coffee mug for a bit, the smell of grilled cheese still lingering in the air. Thankfully, Yuuri had already left.
He figured it would be nice to finally take Makkachin for a walk himself, instead of relying on his dog walker all the time.
He passed countless people, some pointing at him and whispering. Victor paid them no mind as he focused on the soft hum of tree leaves shuffling against each other, shaken by the wind.
It was especially cold today, his knuckles going a bit numb with constant pulling from the dog.
At least his mind got quiet.
___________
Victor wasn't sure how many hours had passed.
He would have walked some more if it weren't for his dogs' annoyed barks. His phone began buzzing on his way home, but he ignored it, he would check it later.
He fumbled with the key for a bit, his hands still cold from the wind. As soon as he unlocked the door, he was met with the angry eyes of his student.
He looked… unusuall, his glasses crooked, his cheeks were flushed, and his hair was sticking out in every imaginable direction as if he had been tugging on it a moment ago.
,,Where the hell have you been?" he doesn't remember ever seeing Yuuri this shaken.
,,Shouldn't you be at practice?" He murmured, letting Makkachin off the leash and slowly taking off his shoes, purposefully avoiding eye contact.
,,I would be if my coach had decided to show up." He knew Yuuri would be disappointed but this reaction was uncalled for.
How many times did Yankov cancel on him and arrange for a replacement? Okay, maybe not much, but it's not as if he's going to make it his routine… probably.
,,I told Yankov to take over for today." He stood up, towering over the shorter man in front of him.
,,Then why didn't you tell me yourself?" Victor closed his eyes and threw his head back, exhaling.
,,Do you know what time it is? You didn't answer your phone, I was worried!" He didn't have the energy for this tonight, or ever. He moved past the brunette without a word, heading to the kitchen.
,,No!" Yuuri yelled from behind him and grabbed his elbow in a strong hold.
,,You're not doing this again." Victor tried to free his arm, but it only caused Yuuri to tighten his grip. Curse athletes and their strength.
,,You're avoiding me, fuck, you don't even look at me anymore." Victor stared at the empty space in front of him, his whole body tensing.
He didn't expect Yuuri to be so direct, confrontation was never his strong suit, but it seemed he had pushed him over the edge.
,,Do you have any idea how lonely it is? To be away from my country, from my family? I don’t speak Russian, the only time anyone speaks to me at the rink is when it's skate related, if it weren’t for Yuri I would go nuts.”
No, actually Victor didn’t know what it was like, when he stayed in Japan, Yuuri was very timid at first but as days went by he opened up.
“Victor we live together but I’ve never felt more alone so tell me why are you punishing me like this?”
Everyone went out of their way to make him feel welcome, careful to not have any group conversations in Japanese so that he wouldn’t feel excluded. He fucked up… bad.
,,Are you that upset that I got silver?" Victor's head snapped back so fast that he heard his neck crack, his mouth hung open in sheer disbelief.
Yuuri's cheeks were stained with tears, his gaze so intense he almost looked away again. How did he even come to this conclusion?
,,I promise to work harder, yell at me, cuss me out, just please... talk to me." His grip loosened, but Victor didn't pull away. He brushed his other hand on his face and turned towards Yuuri fully.
,,How could you even suggest that?" He hissed through his clenched teeth. All he wanted was to respect their relationship.
,,Then what is it?" Yuuri dropped his hand back down and took a step closer, and Victor instinctively took one backwards. The proximity was too much.
,,I can't," Victor shook his head, backing away into a corner, Yuuri following close by.
,,I can't do this Victor," His voice shook as he continued. ,,You're acting like I'm a stranger." Victor flattened his palms against the wall, not risking accidental touch. ,,If you won't tell me what's wrong, I can't fix it."
,,It's nothing you could fix." His voice was barely louder than a whisper, Yuuri scoffed in disbelief and basically threw his glasses at a nearby table. ,,So I did something after all?"
,,No!" Victor half yelled, taking a quick step towards him. ,,You're confusing me again." Yuuri pinched the bridge of his nose sniffling.
The only thing worse than seeing Yuuri in pain was being the cause of it. He couldn’t handle the Japanese blaming himself.
So he took a deep breath, trying to postpone this moment. His voice was so shaky he barely managed to choke out the words.
,,I fell for you Yuuri.” He turned his head to the side, not wanting to see his expression as he said it.
,,I know you're straight, I get that. But I'm not." Yuuri dropped his hand and stared as if Victor grew a second head. Fuck, just as Victor expected.
,,I will get over it, I promise, just give me more time." He whispered, eyes closed, he expected to hear footsteps leading to his bedroom and a soft click of the lock.
He knew it was a lot to take in but before Yuuri locked himself away he needed to say it.
,,I will give you space, as much space as you want, I’m sure I could crash at Yuri’s place for a few days.”
His monologue was cut short by a gentle palm on his cheek tilting his head down and before he could utter another word, soft lips were pressed against his.
,,Still think I’m straight?" Yuuri asked as he pulled away, his thumb running over the sharp line of Victor’s cheekbone, leaving him dumbfounded.
,,But… the gala.” He sounded like he had a stroke, and he felt like it. It was as clear as day that he was attracted to that woman.
Yuuri’s eyes widened for a split second before scrunching in laughter. ,,Alyssa is a friend."
,,She was all over you." Victor was silenced with another kiss letting out a pleased sigh, but before he could get into it Yuuri pulled back again.
,, We were drunk, we knew everyone was watching and wanted to mess with people, I thought you knew I’m gay."
,,Then why do you two still talk everyday?” Yuuri turned his eyes to the side. ,,I told you I was lonely,”
He imagined what Yuuri must have felt like during the past few weeks. Getting up with Victor already gone, the phone being his only companion.
,,So all that was because you thought I was with her?” Yuuri leaned on the kitchen counter and tilted his head playfully.
,,I didn’t want to overstep.” His cheeks were flushed and Victor wasn’t sure if it was from their kiss or the shame of how he was treating Yuuri since they moved in together.
,,I thought you didn’t want me anymore since I didn’t win gold.” Victor closed the space between them in two large steps, he grabbed Yuuri's jaw in one hand, and connected their lips with such force it made his knees weak.
He wanted, no , he needed to show Yuri how much he meant to him.
It was obvious that Yuuri was inexperienced, but the tenderness of it all almost made Victor pass out at the spot.
He nibbled at his top lip, sucking it gently between his, their lips melting together. Yuuri sighed as Victor wrapped his arm around his waist, pressing their bodies together.
Yuuri slid his warm hands under his shirt and settled on the inward curve of his stomach. Victor felt his touch everywhere, it felt like his nerves were on fire.
He imagined this moment so many times, but the reality surpassed his imagination a thousand times over.
Yuuri kissed like he skated, passionate, dedicated and just so perfect. Victor answered with desperation he wasn’t aware he could muster.
He traced Yuuri's bottom lip with his tongue and he immediately mirrored the motion, following his lead.
Victor almost moaned when their tongues brushed against each other, he slowly moved his hand from Yuuri’s jaw and gently grabbed onto his raven hair.
When they finally parted, both breathless, both with eyes cloudy with need. None of them spoke for a second, they stared at each other, breaths mixing together.
,,I’m sorry Yuuri,” Victor murmured as he placed his forehead on his.
,,I’m so sorry,” Yuuri only smiled in response before pulling Victor into a hug.
It felt like coming home.