Chapter Text
"Master will likely have new schemes when I return. Try not to let him redecorate your room again while I'm gone - you spent weeks fixing it last time."
That was what Black Sapphire had said before he left.
Three whole days ago.
Black Sapphire should be back any day now. The thought loops in her mind like a line she’s memorised for comfort. When he returns, the halls won’t feel so cavernous. The air won’t press so heavily against her chest. There will be laughter again, or at least conversation. Something to break this thick, muffled quiet.
And then at least she'll have someone to talk to.
Someone to fill the strange, empty silence that seems to have settled over everything.
Candy Apple shifts on the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest. Her heels dig into the cushions, a sort of small rebellion Black Sapphire would've scolded her for. Furniture is meant to be sat on properly, not climbed upon like some feral Cake Hound. She can practically hear his disapproving tone, can picture the way his brow would furrow just slightly, in that disdainful manner that only he was able to pull off without seeming like a snobbish upper-crust cookie, beneath his dark curls that held just the right concentration of grape and tart.
She misses teasing him, if anything was to be admitted aloud.
It's not as if they haven't been apart for even more extended periods of time. Black Sapphire's missions sometimes stretched for weeks, sometimes months. Candy Apple was used to her brother playing extended games with those playthings of his, he was always fond of the art of rumormongering. It was his specialty, after all, after his expertise in stealth and the careful proficiency of listening.
But back then she'd usually had more to do. Following Master around, (mostly) observing his schemes, learning from his elaborate performances. Watching him torment cookies, laughing at his jokes, basking in those rare moments when he'd ruffle her hair and call her the best apple that fell from the tree that was fostered by ‘yours truly’.
But this time is different.
This time Master's made it explicitly clear that he doesn't want her meddling in whatever rubbish he's doing. With that Pure Vanilla Cookie. Again.
The memory of his words still stings like syrup in an open wound.
"Stay. Here." He'd jabbed his staff at the ground for emphasis, eyes darting about with an irritation that hadn't quite masked something else underneath. Something that looked almost like... worry? Uncertainty? She couldn't tell.
"I don't need you bumbling about and ruining everything."
The word had landed like a slap.
Candy Apple hunches further into herself, arms wrapping around her knees. Her fingers dig into the fabric of her dress.
The incident at the Spire still looms between them like a shadow neither acknowledges directly. When she'd interfered with his grand plan, when she'd - she swallows hard - disobeyed him. Foiled him. Made him look foolish in front of Pure Vanilla of all cookies.
She hadn't meant to. Or had she? The memories blur together, uncomfortable and confusing. She'd been trying to help, she thinks. Or maybe she'd been trying to prove something. Either way, Master had been furious.
And if there was one thing Candy Apple and Black Sapphire could agree on, it was that neither of them wanted to be at the wrong end of Shadow Milk Cookie’s wrath.
But perhaps the most maddening part was that he hadn't punished her. That was almost worse. He'd just looked at her with those mismatched eyes and told her to stay out of his way.
So she does.
Even though every instinct screams at her to see what he's doing with Pure Vanilla that's so important he doesn't want her involved. Even though her curiosity itches like an unscratched itch, even though the boredom is suffocating.
She stays.
Because disobeying again would be... she doesn't know what it would be. But the thought of that look on his face - that disappointed, exhausted expression - makes something in her chest tighten painfully.
Candy Apple lets her chin drop to her knees, staring blankly at the opposite wall. The common room feels too big without Black Sapphire's steady presence, without Master's energy filling every corner. Just her and the silence and the uncomfortable weight of knowing she's been benched.
Left behind.
She shoves it down, plastering on a smile nobody's around to see. Black Sapphire will be back soon. Any day now. And then at least she'll have someone to bother, someone to pester with questions and silly illusions until he sighs that long-suffering sigh and tells her to go practice her illusions.
Any day now.
She just has to wait.
Candy Apple's legs swing slowly, heels thumping against the couch in a rhythm that echoes through the empty halls.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Waiting is the worst part.
Three days pass in a strange fog.
She tries to write in her diary but the words won't come. Just stares at blank pages, pen hovering, unable to articulate the strange hollow feeling in her chest.
Shadow Milk is barely around. When he is, he doesn't acknowledge her. Just floats past like she's furniture.
Part of her wants to feel hurt by that.
For the sharp prickle of rejection.
It never comes.
That frightens her more than anything.
She used to feel things so vividly, swirls of irritation, of pride, jealousy, amusement, bright flavours she could taste at the back of her tongue. Now everything is watered down. Muted. As though someone diluted her with too much air.
She presses her fingers lightly against her chest, just to check.
There’s still the steady rush of jam within her dough. Her dough is still warm.
So why does she feel so… absent?
“What’s wrong with me?” she whispers to the empty room.
The walls don’t answer.
On the fourth day, Black Sapphire returns.
Candy Apple looks up from her sketchbook.
Black Sapphire Cookie steps through a portal, looking exhausted. His usually impeccable composure is surprisingly not present today. In fact, his clothes appeared rumpled, and his expression was weary. He seemed ready to keel over in exhaustion.
"BLACK SAPPHIRE!" Candy Apple nearly tackles him down to the ground, her numbness evaporating in a rush of genuine joy. "You're back! I missed you so much, kya ha ha~! It's been soooo boring and Shadow Milk Cookie has been so weird and I have SO MUCH to tell you!”
"Candy Apple." His voice is tired but fond. "Breathe."
She does, bouncing on her heels. She waits ever so patiently for her brother to get up, wings fluttering in excitement. She can’t help herself, though, the moment he gets up, staff in hand, she immediately prattles on.
"Where were you? What were you doing? Did Shadow Milk Cookie send you somewhere dangerous? Are you hurt? Do you need-"
"I'm fine." Black Sapphire sets down a satchel of... something. Whatever Shadow Milk had sent him to collect. "Just tired."
"Was it a good mission? Did you succeed? Is Shadow Milk Cookie going to be proud?"
Black Sapphire's expression morphs into…an emotion Candy Apple can’t define. She seems to be unable to define a lot of things, lately.
"He didn't even acknowledge my return. Just told me to leave the materials and dismissed me."
"Oh." Candy Apple deflates slightly. "Well, he's been... distracted lately. Ever since the Pure Vanilla thing…”
"I know,” Black Sapphire replies.
They sit together in the common area, whatever it was called…a space that's too large for two cookies, designed for crowds that will never come.
Candy Apple starts chattering immediately, desperate for conversation after days of silence.
"-and then I touched his arm and he got so mad, Black Sapphire, like really mad, and his dough was so soft and I don't understand why that would make him angry unless-"
"You touched him?" Black Sapphire's eyebrows rise.
"Just his arm! I didn't mean anything by it! I just wanted…" She stops. "Why did he react like that?"
Black Sapphire is quiet for a long moment. He seemed to be pondering something. How annoying it must be, to think so hard all the time and hold back the cookies around you.
"Shadow Milk Cookie doesn't like being touched. Especially unexpectedly."
"But why?"
"That's not my story to tell."
Candy Apple pouts.
The room falls into silence momentarily.
Candy kicks her legs idly, staring at her dough and the ruffles of her skirt. She fiddles with that thread on her sleeve again, before stopping herself. She’s got to stop that nasty habit, or Master will be unhappy that she’s been destroying his beautifully made costumes for her.
Black Sapphire’s looking at her strangely now.
“What, is there something on my syrup?”
Black Sapphire shakes his head, but his eyes remain fixed onto her.
"Candy Apple," he says slowly. "Has Deceit magic been used on you recently?"
She blinks. How silly. "What? No, I don't think so. Why?"
"I can smell Shadow Milk's Deceit magic on you." His voice is careful, and quiet, and his expression is unlike any Candy Apple has seen on his face before. "Fresh. Within the last few days."
"You can smell it?" Candy Apple tilts her head, genuinely curious. "That's so strange~ I can't tell the difference between his Deceit and mine. All Deceit smells the same to me,” she said, closing her eyes and trying to focus on the smell in the air in a puerile manner.
“To me, his magic has a distinct... smell. Different from yours,” Black Sapphire Cookie says, waving his hands in a sort of motion, trying to get her attention.
Candy Apple cracks open an eye for his efforts. He circles her slowly, and Candy Apple suddenly feels anxious without knowing why.
"Are you sure Shadow Milk hasn't used any Deceit magic on you recently?" Black Sapphire asks. "An illusion? He sent you through the Dark Side of the Moon? Anything?"
"I'm pretty sure he hasn't..." Candy Apple trails off, uncertainty creeping in. "I mean, I don't think so? But how would I know if he made me forget-"
She stops.
The words hang in the air.
How would I know if he made me forget?
Black Sapphire's expression darkens.
"Is Shadow Milk Cookie home right now?" he asks quietly. "In the Spire?"
"I... I don't think so? He left this morning, I think. Why?"
Black Sapphire looks around surreptitiously, as if checking for any sign of Shadow Milk's presence. Then he kneels in front of Candy Apple, taking her hands in his.
"I'm not supposed to do this," he says quietly. "Shadow Milk would be furious if he knew. But..."
"Black Sapphire, what are you doing?"
"There's a fog over your mind." His voice is gentle but firm. "Shadow Milk's Deceit magic, woven specifically to suppress memories. To keep you from thinking about something."
Candy Apple's breath catches.
"I'm going to remove it," Black Sapphire continues. "But I need you to understand, whatever you've forgotten, Shadow Milk had a reason for making you forget it. And that reason probably wasn't kind."
Black Sapphire has known about the memory fog for years. Has felt its oily residue clinging to Candy Apple's mind every time he's checked on her wellbeing, every time he's watched her smile adoringly up at Shadow Milk and call him Master with genuine devotion. He's lived with the guilt of it festering in his chest like rot - the knowledge that he helped raise her in a lie, that every "good morning" and "sleep well" he's ever given her has been complicit in Shadow Milk's deception. But Shadow Milk is rarely away from the Spire, and when he is, he always has eyes watching. Eyes embedded in the walls, shadows that whisper secrets back to him, enchantments that flare at the casting of certain spells.
Black Sapphire has never dared to act. Not until now.
But this time is different. Shadow Milk has been gone for days obsessing over Pure Vanilla's kingdom with a single-minded focus that's pulled his attention away from the Spire entirely. It's the longest absence Black Sapphire has witnessed in years, perhaps the only real window he'll ever get.
If Black Sapphire doesn't act now, she might break through the spell herself, messily and painfully, in a way that could shatter her completely. Or worse, Shadow Milk might notice her remembering and do something permanent.
Admittedly, Black Sapphire had been preparing for this moment for a long time - studying Shadow Milk's patterns, learning which memory spells he could counter, slowly gathering the materials and knowledge he'd need. This is the convergence Black Sapphire has been waiting for - Candy Apple desperate enough to listen, Shadow Milk distracted enough to miss it, and himself finally, finally brave enough to act before the guilt of watching her live in this lie destroys what's left of his conscience.
"I don't understand."
"Do you trust me?"
Candy Apple looks into Black Sapphire's dark, serious eyes.
"Yes," she whispers.
"Then hold still."
Black Sapphire's hands move to her head.
It feels like cobwebs being brushed away from her thoughts.
Like a fog lifting.
Like…
The memories slam into her all at once.
Candy Apple gasps.
All those terrible, horrible feelings flooding back, the fear, the betrayal, the terror of almost being destroyed just for seeing him vulnerable.
"Breathe," Black Sapphire says firmly, hands still on her. "Breathe, Candy Apple. You're safe. You're here. Breathe."
She can't think.
He made me forget.
Numbly, distantly, Candy Apple wonders why she feels like she's drowning.
Why the air won't reach her lungs.
“Has he- Has he done this to me before? Black Sapphire, what’s-”
"I know." Black Sapphire's voice is steady, but his face is sad. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Why?" Candy Apple's eyes are wide, unseeing. "Why would he…I just SAW him. I just saw him being sad. Why is that- why does that deserve-"
She can't finish.
The memories keep playing on loop.
Shadow Milk's broken confession to the tapestry.
His fury at being witnessed.
His willingness to destroy her.
The casual cruelty of erasing her memories afterward, like it was nothing.
Like she was nothing.
"He didn't want you to remember," Black Sapphire says quietly. "Didn't want you to know how vulnerable he was then. So he took the memory away."
"But I remembered touching him," Candy Apple whispers. "I remembered his dough being soft. Why did he let me remember that but not…"
"Because touching him was embarrassing. But seeing him grieve?" Black Sapphire's expression is grim. "That was unforgivable."
Candy Apple stares at him.
Then, slowly, she starts to understand.
It's a horrible, frightening feeling.
"He'd rather I remember him being angry at me than remember him being sad. He'd rather I think he's cruel than think he's lonely."
"Yes."
She sits there, trembling, all the memories she wasn't supposed to have burning through her mind.
"What do I do?" she whispers. "He's going to know. When he comes back, he's going to KNOW that I remember. And then he'll…"
"He'll likely do it again," Black Sapphire says grimly. "Wipe your memories. Maybe more thoroughly this time. Maybe make you forget me too, if he thinks I'm helping you."
"Then why did you-"
"Because you deserve to know the truth." Black Sapphire's voice is firm. "Even if it's painful. Even if it's dangerous. You deserve to know what was done to you."
Candy Apple looks down at her hands.
They're shaking.
"I can't go back to not knowing," she whispers. "I can't just- pretend this is okay. That HE'S okay. That any of this is…"
"I know."
"So what do I do?"
Black Sapphire is quiet for a long moment.
"That," he says carefully, "is up to you."
Candy Apple sits there, mind racing, memories burning.
Shadow Milk made her forget.
And would do it again in a heartbeat.
Because she saw something she wasn't supposed to see.
Because she knows something she isn't supposed to know.
Because she's not blind enough.
Not obedient enough.
Not nothing enough.
The realization settles over her like ice:
I'm not safe here.
I've never been safe here.
And I never will be.
“How many times has he done this before?” she says quietly.
“I don’t know,” Black Sapphire Cookie replies sadly. “Perhaps innumerable times. Not once have I dared interfere.”
“I see,” Candy Apple says with a tone so solemn that it was painfully uncharacteristic of her. “And why have you interfered now? And…how long?" Her voice is still that terrible, flat monotone. "How long have you known he does this to me?"
Black Sapphire hesitates.
"Since the beginning," he admits. "Since you were young. Whenever you'd see something you shouldn't, ask questions he didn't want to answer, witness moments he wanted to keep private—the memories would just... disappear. And you'd wake up the next day with gaps in your timeline that you couldn't explain."
"And you never told me."
"He ordered me not to." Black Sapphire says.
"I didn't agree with him," Black Sapphire says quickly. "But I also didn't dare defy him. Not until…"
"Not until what?"
Black Sapphire looks away.
He doesn’t answer, really. Candy Apple Cookie can tell that much.
"Not until I saw what it was doing to you. Trying to bury the memory so deep you'd never find it never does well for any cookie."
He looks back at her.
"And then I realized. He's not just hiding memories anymore. He's reshaping your entire perception of reality. Making you forget not just what happened, but who you are. What you feel. What you think. The biggest lie of all.”
Candy Apple sits very still. She can tell her brother lied to her, but she can tell that there was truth in his words. She can’t understand this.
"How much of me is even real?" she whispers. "How much of what I think and feel is actually mine versus what he's allowed me to remember?"
"I don't know," Black Sapphire says honestly. "I wish I did. But the Deceit magic is so woven through your memories that I can't tell where his manipulation ends and your genuine experiences begin."
He reaches out, taking her hands again.
"I should tell you," he says quietly. "I've noticed Master acting... weird. Even more than usual."
"He's been erratic," Black Sapphire says carefully. "More volatile. His moods shift faster. One moment he's being his usual self, the next he's..." He trails off. "Distant. Hollow. Like he's not really there."
"That's just how he is- no?”
"No." Black Sapphire's voice is firm. "I've- We’ve served him for centuries, Candy Apple. I know his patterns. This is different. Worse. Like something is... deteriorating."
Candy Apple thinks of Shadow Milk's soft, oversaturated dough.
Like a cookie left in milk too long.
"His dough," she says quietly. "When I touched him. It felt wrong. Structurally compromised. Do you think...?"
“His dough has always been like this. But the state of Shadow Milk Cookie’s mind is…changeing.”
"How long has he been like this?"
"It's been gradual. Years, maybe decades. But it's accelerating." Black Sapphire's expression is grim. "And I think Pure Vanilla's awakening made it worse. I can’t help but suspect foul play. Somecookie must have done something to Master…for I fear I’ve never seen more change in him since he got sealed."
Candy Apple hugs herself.
"So he's getting worse."
"Yes."
"And I'm not safe here."
"No. You're not."
Candy Apple Cookie sat there, and it felt like the world was collapsing down on her. Everything she’s known has been a lie.
Was that how cookies felt when master deceives them?
She's watched Shadow Milk weave his lies a thousand times - watched cookies' faces crumble as they realized they'd been played, watched the light drain from their eyes as truth replaced comfortable fiction. She'd always thought she understood. Had laughed alongside him, marveled at his brilliance, his artistry.
She'd never understood at all.
This feeling - this hollow, gutted sensation like someone's scooped out her insides and left only the shell - this is what Shadow Milk does to people. This is what she's been helping him do. And worse, so much worse, this is what he did to her.
And it was at that moment where Candy Apple Cookie vowed to find the truth.
The truth of her past - who she really is, where she came from, what Shadow Milk stole from her. And the truth beyond what she's known her entire life serving under Shadow Milk Cookie. The truth about the world outside the Spire, about the cookies Shadow Milk calls enemies, about whether the lies he's fed her about Pure Vanilla and GingerBrave and everyone else are just more fog obscuring reality.
She's been living in a cage built of deception. Beautiful, glittering, perfectly crafted - but a cage nonetheless.
And now that she can see the bars, she can't un-see them.
Candy Apple looks up at Black Sapphire, and something in her expression must shift because his eyes widen slightly.
"Teach me," she says. Her voice is steadier than she expected. Steadier than she feels. "Teach me how to find the truth."
The truth of her past, and the truth beyond what she’s known her entire life serving under Shadow Milk Cookie.
Yes, that’s what she’ll find.
That night, she’s in her room again. Shadow Milk Cookie has not yet returned home.
I could jump.
The thought comes unbidden as Candy Apple stands on the Spire's highest balcony, looking down at Beast-Yeast spread below.
I could just... step off. Let gravity do what Shadow Milk Cookie's words already did.
The wind tugs at her candy-apple pigtails. Her devil wings flutter uselessly, bound by wind.
She doesn't know what's real anymore.
Was she created by him? Found by him? Does it matter?
Does SHE matter?
"I don't know who I am," she whispers to the wind.
Her words float away like they don’t matter.
Below, Beast-Yeast stretches endlessly. The Ivory Pagoda gleams in the distance. The Dark Flour Mountains. The Silver Forest. All of it familiar and foreign at once.
I wish I had anywhere else to go, she thinks desperately. I wish I could just... leave. Be someone else. Somewhere else. ANYWHERE else.
But where would she go?
She's never existed outside Shadow Milk's shadow. Never been anyone except his minion, his creation (or NOT his creation, she doesn't even KNOW anymore).
Who is Candy Apple Cookie without Shadow Milk Cookie?
The question terrifies her more than the drop below.
She steps back from the edge.
Not because she wants to live.
But because she's too much of a coward to die without knowing the truth.
"Candy Apple?"
She turns.
Black Sapphire stands in the doorway, silhouetted against the blue-gold light of the corridor.
"I thought I might find you here," he says quietly, stepping onto the balcony. "Couldn't sleep?"
"No."
He moves to stand beside her, looking out over Beast-Yeast.
"Second thoughts?" he asks.
"Thousandth thoughts," Candy Apple says. Her voice is hollow. "I keep thinking…what if I'm making a mistake? What if leaving is worse than staying? What if I'm just... running away from the only purpose I've ever had?"
"You're running toward something," Black Sapphire corrects gently. "Toward finding out who you are. What you want. What makes you you instead of what Shadow Milk shaped you to be."
Candy Apple suddenly grins.
“What’s with that expression?” Black Sapphire says, slightly annoyed.
“Nothing, it’s just funny to see you look so solemn~kyahaha!”
Black Sapphire smiles.
“And it’s nice to have you back, Candy Apple.”
“Hey! What does that mean!!”
A silence falls over the two.
Black Sapphire turns to face her.
"Do you know what I see when I look at you?" he asks quietly.
"What?"
"I see a cookie who draws because she loves it, not because anyone told her to. I see someone who makes costumes for fun. Who hums when she concentrates. Who cares so deeply it hurts." His voice is firm. "I see someone real, Candy Apple. Someone who's so much more than what Shadow Milk sees."
"How can you be sure?" she whispers.
"Because I raised you." Black Sapphire's expression softens. "I watched you grow. Watched you develop interests and opinions and quirks that had nothing to do with Shadow Milk's influence. You're not empty. You're not nothing. You're just... buried. Under years of his manipulation and control."
He puts a hand on her shoulder.
"Leaving won't erase you. It'll give you room to find you."
Candy Apple looks at him with desperate, hollow eyes.
"What if I can't?"
"Then you'll keep looking," Black Sapphire says simply. "Until you do. And you'll do it in a place where no one is constantly reshaping you, erasing you, telling you who you're supposed to be."
Candy Apple turns back to the edge of the balcony.
To the drop.
To the easy way out.
Then she steps back again.
"Okay," she whispers. "Okay. I'll do it. I'll leave. I'll... I'll try."
Black Sapphire pulls her into a hug.
"That's all anyone can ask," he says quietly. "Just try."
They stand there for a long moment, looking out over Beast-Yeast.
At the vast, dangerous, free world beyond the Spire's walls.
Candy Apple sleeps a dreamless sleep that night.