Chapter Text
Bellamy slowly opens the door, not wanting to startle anyone inside the dim room. Once he enters, his eyes find Clarke’s bed immediately, something that had become a habit. She’s there, lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling, looking lost in her thoughts.
Before Bellamy can do anything else, Clarke’s head turns towards him. “Hey.” She says, giving him a bit of a smile and pushing herself up to a sitting position. Bellamy is by her side in a moment, gently pushing her back down.
“Clarke, lay back.” He scolds her. “You shouldn’t-”
“Bellamy, calm down. I’m okay.” She argues. “Well, I still have the headache but I don’t feel dizzy anymore and the pain has started to fade.” She assures him, looking deep into his eyes.
Bellamy swallows his worry. “You sure?”
“Yeah. Mom already had me take a walk around the room this morning.” She explains. “I won’t stand up, okay? I’ll just sit here and if I start to feel ill, I’ll lay down again, okay?”
It takes Bellamy some moments to nod his agreement and give Clarke a hand to help her sit up. She takes it without hesitation. Then, Bellamy reaches behind him and pulls a chair up to sit down at her bedside.
They sit in silence for a good five minutes, not looking at each other and not wanting to be the one to start the conversation they know they need to have. But this silence is eating Bellamy from his insides out, so he decides to start the dreaded talk.
“You’re mother-”
“Bellamy-”
They both stop, looking at each other with a teasing but wary smile, amused at what just happened, but not forgetting why Bellamy is here. “Go on.” Clarke prompts.
“No, you first.” Bellamy says instead.
Clarke sighs, turning her gaze to the side and rubs her palm with her other thumb in awkwardness. “About last night…” She starts and pauses after that. “What I said-”
“Clarke.” Bellamy cuts her off. “It’s okay. I get it.” He continues. “You had severe head trauma and your mother probably gave something for the pain and… I get it.” He pauses again. “Don’t worry about it. It was nothing.”
Clarke just stares at him, hurt written in her eyes but for some reason Bellamy chooses to ignore it. “Then why did you left immediately after I said it?” She asks, using curiosity to hide her pain and unknowingly twisting the knife in his heart even more.
The question jolts Bellamy out of his own head. He blinks a few times before swallowing. “I… I just figured you needed some time without me around you.” He explains, not wanting to look Clarke in the eyes but doing it anyway.
“Why would you-”
“Because every time you talked to me, you said something stupid. First you asked me where your father is. Then you told me you love me. And I thought that, for some reason, my presence was messing with your head so I decided to give you some space. So you could, you know, recover from the trauma and get back to normal.”
Clarke keeps just staring at him and he knows, from the look on her face, she’s studying him. But he also knows he can’t weight her with a love confession in her current state, so he does his best to hide from her.
“Oh, okay.” She only says a moment later. “It sounds logical. I just wanted-”
“It’s okay, Clarke. I told you. There’s nothing to worry about. Get some rest.” Bellamy says, wanting to cut their conversation short and get away out of here as soon as possible.
“I’ve been resting for two days!” Clarke suddenly raises her voice. “I’m actually tired of resting!”
Bellamy chokes on a laugh and presses his lips together, trying to keep his smile from showing. Grumpy Clarke is his favorite Clarke, second only to Badass Clarke and Soft Clarke.
“Then rest some more.” He suggests and Clarke glares at him. This time he can’t keep the smile from reaching his ears. They fall into a comfortable silence again. And again, Bellamy is the one to break it.
“You leaving?” Clarke asks, only because Bellamy had just stood up from his chair.
“Actually, yeah.” He gives her a sad smile. “I’ve got things to do but if you want, I can come by later.”
“Please.” Clarke says too quickly for Bellamy’s heart to ignore. “It’s so boring here.” She adds, slowly falling back down on the bed again.
“Raven said she’ll come by later.” He informs her. “So, you have that, too.” And after that, silence falls around them again. Bellamy doesn’t walk away and Clarke doesn’t take her eyes from his. To him, it looks like she has something more to say, but the longer she stays silent, the more he wants to say something stupid himself so, hesitantly, he takes another step back and waits for Clarke’s reaction.
“See you later, then.” She tells him, and he can hear the hesitation in her voice, too.
“Yeah.” He nods and finally feeling strong enough to break eye contact and turn his back on her to leave. He doesn’t take more than two steps away and-
“Bellamy?” He hears Clarke call his name again and he turns around to face her immediately.
“Yeah?” He asks, maybe a bit too quickly.
“I…” She pauses, licking her lips. “I just wanted to say...” Another pause, and it feels like Bellamy’s world is hanging from her lips. “I love you.”
His heart feels like it stops right then and there. He is sure his blood stops running in his veins and his brain is blowing up piece by piece inside his skull. “And before you assume anything, no, I’m not high on any drug and it’s not my head trauma talking.” She adds.
It’s too much for Bellamy to handle at seven in the morning after everything they’ve been through all night. He is sure he can’t form any words at the moment and with Clarke’s eyes glued to him, well, she doesn’t make it any easier.
The fact that Bellamy doesn’t say anything makes Clarke’s heart stop too, and an ache blooms inside her chest. The pain quickly becomes too much. “Please, say something.” She whispers. “Please, Bellamy. Tell me you won’t run away like last time.” Tears start forming behind her eyes and Clarke is sure she won’t be able to hold them back if Bellamy doesn’t respond very, very soon.
“You… You love me?” Bellamy whispers, more to himself than to her. “How- I mean-” He takes a step closer to her bed. “Are you sure?”
Clarke pushes herself up again, “You can ask my mother, Bellamy. It’s me-”
“No.” He cuts her off. “No, I’m not asking if you’re sure you’re not on drugs.” He explains hastily, taking another step towards her. “I mean… Are you sure you- you love me?”
And that marked the limit for Clarke’s tear ducts. In answer to his question, her vision blurs with tears that soon roll down her cheeks. “Yes. And I can’t hide-”
But she doesn’t finish her sentence. Bellamy is right in front of her, cupping her cheeks with his huge palms and capturing her lips in his, kissing her like he’ll never kiss anyone ever again. Clarke’s hands lift up and latch around his neck, pulling him even closer to her. Their kiss is a mess, lips on lips, lips on cheek and chin, nails scratching skin and then stroking it immediately.
Bellamy pulls back first, resting his head on hers and stroking her wet cheeks with his thumbs. “Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry.” He whispers again and again. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” He promises. “Please, don’t cry.”
Clarke sniffs and wipes her tears away, fingers touching fingers and their skin burns up.
“I love you, Bell.” She whispers between Bellamy’s ‘please don’t cry’s. “I love you so much. I can’t see another cut on your pretty face-”
“Oh, you find my face pretty, huh?” He teases and Clarke slaps him on the shoulder.
“I’m serious, Bellamy.” She glares at him.
“You always are.” He says and leans forward, capturing her lips in his again for another kiss. This time though, he pulls back almost immediately. “I will-”
The door opens behind them and they pull away from each other, turning to see who is about to walk inside.
“Octavia?” Bellamy whispers her name, surprised to see her there, staring back at them from where she stopped after she closed the door behind her.
For some moments, the younger Blake just looks at them, and the air around them is filled with awkwardness. Then she takes a step forward but stops again, “I- How are you, Clarke?” She asks hesitantly, hands at her sides.
Clarke sits up on the bed, her legs hanging from the edge of the thin. “I’m getting better every hour.”
After that, silence covers them again, none of them knowing what to say. Bellamy’s side is facing his sister, his one hand around Clarke’s back and the other resting on her thigh. He doesn’t look at her, but stares at his hand on Clarke’s lap.
Clarke however, can’t take her eyes from Octavia. She doesn’t feel bad for Octavia, if the girl feels guilt about what she did last night to Clarke and what she has done to Bellamy many other times, she should. Clarke won’t deprive her from feeling that. She should be ashamed of herself, in the least.
“I’m sorry if I interrupted something,” She continues, bringing Clarke back from her thought. “I just wanted to tell you, Bellamy, that…” She pauses. “I’m leaving.”
At that, Bellamy lets go of Clarke and turns fully to look at his sister but not stepping any closer to her. Clarke’s eyes lift up and study Bellamy’s reaction, worried that he will do something stupid, but also to make sure that he’s okay.
“What?” He only asks, not really knowing what he should do or even say to his sister.
“Yeah.” Octavia only says. “I decided to go to Luna. Try to find my peace there.”
“Octavia-”
“Bellamy.” She cuts him off. “I can’t stay here anymore.” She explains. “I tried to- to get used to this.” She pauses again. “But everything in this camp reminds me of Lincoln and I can’t.” She is really looking at him in the eyes for the first time in months. “I just can’t…” She whispers, hugging herself.
Bellamy shakes his head. “I wasn’t going to try convince you to stay.” Bellamy tells her. “I just wanted to say… If you need to leave, I get that. I just want you to know that you always have a place with me.”
His sister blinks, the memory of that day, a few days before everything went to hell, coming back. He told her the same thing back then. The only difference is that now Lincoln is dead and there is nothing that keeps her here.
Octavia nods. “I know, Bell.” She licks her lips. “I really hope one day I can I forgive you and myself for what happened these past months.” She turns her gaze to Clarke. “And I’m sorry for the trouble I caused. Hope you get better soon.”
“Thanks, Octavia.” Clarke replies lowly. “Be careful out there.”
The young Blake nods her head one last time before turning on her heel and leaving Bellamy and Clarke alone. Clarke looks up to Bellamy as he watches his sister leave him for good. “It’s going to be okay, Bell.” She whispers, leaning to his side and hugging him the best she can.
Bellamy doesn’t respond with words. He turns around in Clarke’s arms and buries his face in Clarke’s hair, bringing his own arms around her and holding her tight.
Suddenly, the door opens again, so both Bellamy and Clarke let go of each other slowly. “Raven.” Clarke says with a smile.
“At least something good came out of this.” She murmured to herself, grinning at the couple in front of her. “Sorry for interrupting! See you later!” And before the other two could protest, Raven is gone.