Chapter Text
Dark Fondue did her best to hide the results of her review from being exposed to the rest of the TBD. She’d gone all the way to the TRD with the evaluations results, asked Baguette kindly to use her paper shredder so that the remains couldn’t be traced back to her, bribed the woman with an invitation to Karaoke night at Sparkling’s Bar, added that Coffee Candy could come with when she debated refusing the offer, and then had to leave it at that when the shredder jammed. Still, the odds of anyone ever finding out had been reduced either way, so it was a decent job all things considered.
"You got an A? You?!"
She did not do a very decent job of it. Damn that malfunctioning paper shredder and damn that archivist and her immature vendetta with her!
In the TBD’s manager lounge, the exclusive elite break room where the managers all came together to eat lunch and shoot the breeze on the odd chance their break schedules aligned, everyone had gathered to receive the shocking news. Maple Taffy stared at her as if she had suddenly grown a second head. Pain de Campagne looked to be holding back a chuckle, as if trying to keep himself professional despite thinking she deserved it. Croissant had a look of pity on her face, an expression Dark Fondue hated receiving. String Gummy was waiting for his burrito to finish heating up in the microwave, caring not one bit about the situation, which also irritated Dark Fondue. All of this she tried her best to pretend it didn't affect her, but at this point her poker face had been pushed to the brink and simply couldn't stay up anymore. She just had to accept the humiliation.
Pain de Campagne shook his head. "Don't mock her, Maple Taffy, you're one to talk."
"But you see, you people all expect an F out of me, we're all used to that." The relic lover declared without a hint of shame. "But Dark Fondue? Ms. "paragon of perfect performance" Dark Fondue?"
Dark Fondue imagined Maple Taffy's head exploding. It was that or actually strangling him in front of everyone, but such a thing was considered "rude" and "impolite" to do in public. So, because life was unfair, she had to stick to the pictures in her mind while pretending to ignore the conversation around her. If she dallied too much, her ice cream would start to melt, and she needed it ice cold before it leaked out of her bowl and made her look even sadder than she already was.
The END manager reached over to pat her on the back, an act of reassurance from the veteran employee. "She's still the best out of all of us. None of us can deny that."
"I mean," Croissant started, pausing briefly to thank String Gummy as he passed her a burrito of her own, then she continued. "Technically. Baguette's officially the best one."
A chorus of agreement from everyone, even Dark Fondue. That woman's work performance was almost supernatural in its efficiency.
"And besides!" The mechanic took a bite out of her lunch. "You always go on about us needing a wake up call now and then. Shouldn't this count as yours?"
She rolled her eyes. She wasn’t going to agree with Croissant, at least not out loud. There may have been a small kernel of truth, that she did need to work on herself to improve, but the only thing that needed that was her habit of double-checking her documents. That was upgrading to a triple check, and that was all that needed changing, nothing else mattered.
Thankfully, before Maple Taffy got the idea to ask the archives to give him a laminated picture of her low grade, Baguette managed to provide a welcome interruption. She’d opened the door to the longue, revealing herself to be smiling as she walked in. That… well that wasn’t a good sign.
“Wow, and Baguette is smiling too. Did Dark Enchantress turn a new leaf or something?” Maple Taffy cheered at her arrival. The manager simply smirked, sending a particular look at Dark Fondue that unnerved her. She was happy about something. Something at her expense.
“Nothing of the sort, Maple Taffy, just good news that reflects well on one of my employees that I am very happy to be sharing with you all today.” She stepped aside, and to Dark Fondue’s horror (one visible by the way she suddenly sat up straight and strained an unconvincing smile), it revealed Coffee Candy, beaming like a ball of sunshine. Oh dear witches no.
“Hi everyone!”
“Coffee Candy!” The other managers chorused, while String Gummy smiled and raised his burrito up at her. Dark Fondue flinched when she waved hello at her.
Baguette patted her subordinate on the shoulder. “The Director had quite a lot of praise for her work on Dark Fondue’s performance evaluation. I believe she used the term “enlightening” to describe it?” She asked that while gazing at the CR head, who simply averted her gaze back into her bowl.
“Yep!” Coffee Candy’s hair wagged at the memory. Seeing the Director so delighted by her writing work had been a major boost to her confidence, even if it was also a bit unnerving when she’d suddenly froze and stared at her for two entire minutes. It was always an experience in that office, but at least it lead to the best kind of news. “She was so impressed, in fact, that- Well, how do I put this? Dark Fondue?”
What was it with all the attention today? Any more and Dark Fondue's hair would start to spoil from all the stress. “What?” She spat out, maybe a little too harshly, but damnit she was tired.
The girl took no note of that aggressive response. “You don’t have to worry about working on performance evaluations anymore, because I’m your replacement!”
Dark Fondue gave no response. The other managers cheered and congratulated Coffee Candy for this surprising assignment, and Dark Fondue did not respond. What a first for today, being told she wasn’t good enough and replaced in something she had taken pride in. By Coffee Candy. The girl who once tripped on a piece of lint, and who almost drowned in paperwork after sneezing at the wrong time. That Coffee Candy. The incompetent Coffee Candy.
…. But also Coffee Candy, the woman who in the span of a day managed to uncover secrets and failures she hadn’t even realized were there to find. The one who successfully instilled fear into her heart with an interview so stressful that she couldn’t sleep for the whole night. Dark Fondue could never claim to have achieved something like that.
It sucked, that was true. This must be what it feels like to be faced with her delivering news about forced transfers. If this was what she made others feel, and by the hands of Coffee Candy, the TRD’s Cutest Employee (as had been decided by an unofficial employee survey), then she had to say.
It felt kind of good.
Heads turned when she took a breath in, facing her in wait for whatever she had to say. When she opened her eyes, she said: “Well I’m quite impressed Coffee Candy. I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us as our Evaluator. For all of us.”
There was a flash of realization in everyone’s faces at the thought. A brief moment of terror.
Coffee Candy simply soaked in the unexpected praise. “Thank you Dark Fondue! I promise to be harsh but fair, just like you! Oh, but please don’t be too upset, the Director just thought you could use a little less on your plate, especially after the Orientation fiasco.”
“Hmm, I do suppose I could afford the extra time for some of my personal hobbies, haha. Like cookie watching!” Yes, watching her favorite cookies suffer under these interviews, that sounded like a novel idea! Things were looking up Fondue already, even her natural, devilishly gorgeous smile had returned if Maple Taffy’s deeply unnerved look he gave her was anything to go by.
Croissant let out an awkward laugh, sharing some looks with the others. “Heh, well at least go easy on us CC.”
“Yes! We all know Dark Fondue had it coming,” the RMD Manager said cheerfully, earning a swat to the head from Pain de Campagne that he chose to ignore. He was correct after all. “But we have been nothing but nice and supportive and co-operative to you since you started here, and I am more than willing to give you a tour of my relic collection free of charge as a reward for whatever Grade you give me!”
“Are you bribing the Evaluator, Maple Taffy?” Dark Fondue glared at the relic nut, who scoffed.
“No! I’m bribing the Time Registry Employee, completely different thing, and not against TBD policy, I should know!”
“You couldn’t file a proper Relic Record if it saved your life, so forgive me for not believing that, haha!”
String Gummy rolled his eyes at the two bickering cookies, though he did seem to be stifling a laugh. “I don’t even want to know what it is that you did that could impress that Director. And frankly, I don’t want to find out.”
Coffee Candy hummed to herself. “It wasn’t really anything serious, she was just really impressed with how thorough I was, I suppose. She even asked me if I could use my “Sublime Investigation Skills” to solve some mysteries around the building if I ever have the time.”
Croissant raised a brow. “Like what?”
Taking out her notebook, Coffee Candy listed out the contents, all the little things Timekeeper had subtly implied to her during their meeting. “Well, for one, someone has been using their company e-mail to get a bunch of free trials on magazine subscriptions. Something about “Girls Tanks and Sweats Fashion” magazine?”
The mechanic’s face lit up like a traffic light, her eyes darting as she chuckled unconvincingly. “Huuuh, now why would I- anyone do that? Hah, that’s crazy, you’re crazy!” She trailed off, shrinking into her seat.
“Then there’s rumors someone’s been using the Time Reverser to un-shred destroyed band posters and t-shirts, despite it being against policy to use it on outside materials.”
Maple Taffy stammered, subtly poking a rolled up paper back into his vest. “Now who would ever want to that? Haha, not me, that’s for sure! Not even for limited edition- ya know, yeah.”
“Figuring out who’s been stealing junked filing cabinets from the Time Disposal Site.”
Pain de Campagne coughed a little louder than was normal, turning to face away from the group and pretending to not be into the conversation. In his mind, he remembered he needed a new cat bed for his rescues back home.
“Oh, and apparently someone has been watching KPOP music videos on the security monitors in the TID, and the recordings have gotten mixed up with the security tapes as a result.”
String Gummy’s eyes darted around nervously, though he made no noise otherwise. There was a CD for B.A.D. 4 in his pocket that definitely wasn’t coming out today.
From her seat, Dark Fondue began to smile. Perhaps her suffering wasn’t for nothing after all?
Coffee Candy, chipper like always, shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not sure why she wants me to check, but it probably doesn’t have anything to do with you guys. I’ll start with all of you next week, so you can just relax while I put together my research!”
“Yeah, yeah, sure thing CC.” Croissant said nervously, everyone else avoiding any eye contact with the ex-journalist and pretending that they surely had nothing to do with those supposed accusations.
There were a lot of search histories that needed to be deleted later.
Baguette smiled at the sight of the nervous managers. No wonder Dark Fondue enjoyed doing this, this was fun. “I suppose we could all do with a more involved review process. I am quite proud of you, Coffee Candy Cookie. I look forward to our interview next week then.”
The underling beamed at the praise. “You’re too kind, Baguette! Thank you.” And then, she smirked. “But you don’t have to wait, we can start right now!”
Baguette’s smile strained. An unnatural look on her, the eternally stern woman looking like she’d just realized she left the oven on at home. It filled the room with a new kind of fear as she stammered a little before responding. “Ah, well that is very- very prudent of you, Coffee Candy. Quite impressive, mmm.”
Coffee Candy glowed. “It’s nothing, I’ve learned so much about you over these few years that I managed to make a list of questions on the spot!” Her eyelashes fluttered as she gazed into her boss’ eyes. “So, so many things.”
From her seat, Dark Fondue had a fantastic view of Baguette looking ready to fall apart. It brought her joy, seeing her rival/friend finally have her impeccable confidence be smashed down with a sledge hammer. By her own self-chosen subordinate too, the irony was so delicious it was almost worth the price of her humiliation! It tasted like chocolate fondue with a drop of coffee stirred in for a subtle kick. Maybe it was time to start adding that into her fondue pots when she had her lunch breaks…
For whatever reason, she had really started to crave coffee after that day. She wondered if that implied something about her.
Her show, sadly, ended when Coffee Candy dragged her manager away to her evaluation slash psychological torture. The remaining managers all sat in silence, awkwardly glancing at each other, only for Dark Fondue to break it for them with a delighted giggle and a pointed remark.
“Well? Don’t you all have some preparations to make?”
There was a second of terror that Dark Fondue got to enjoy from the other managers. When that second was over, each of them jolted from their seats and scrambled their way out the door in a different flavor of panic: Maple Taffy flailing like a startled cat as he fell off of his chair; Croissant slamming the rest of her burrito into her mouth and bashing her knee against her chair; and both Pain de Campagne and String Gummy dashing for the door at the exact same time, the larger man slamming the other into the wall accidentally before he recovered and left too.
Left alone in the room, Dark Fondue began to laugh.