Chapter Text
July:
Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:
Tiffany: How is hockey camp going?
Shane: Overwhelming but great.
Chelsea: So is this putting a damper on you and Ilya actually becoming parents one day?
Kelsey: because we all know you would be great at it
Jackie: Yes, you both have lots of practice and experience that will ensure you are great fathers one day.
Shane: Jackie, I swear you are being secretly paid off by my mother. And she knows more about our plans for this than you.
Hayden: Plans? You have plans for kids Shane? Why didn’t you tell me?
Ilya: Hayden we all know why we don’t trust you with our secrets anymore.
Tiffany: Yeah Hayden! No secrets for you ever again.
Chelsea: That is very exciting guys! Let us know what support you might need one day in the future.
~~
Brittany: **image of Robbie and Ruth standing outside of the Hockey Hall of Fame** Robbie and Ruth wanted to visit Shane and Ilya’s future home!
Kelsey: sorry hayden
Hayden: I mean… it is true.
Shane: Don’t worry, we will still invite you to the ceremony though.
Ilya: If you still alive
Chelsea: The back of your head will probably be in some of the group shots of the Ottawa double win.
Jackie: If you’re lucky, they might even mention you by name in the wing that they will need to build for Shane and Ilya!
Hayden: From my own wife…. Really?
Shane: No offense, but why were you even near the hockey hall of fame? That’s in Minnesota.
Brittany: We’re headed up to Voyageurs National Park for a week and it was literally on the way.
Kelsey: made for a good pit stop
Hayden: How is Minnesota?
Brittany: Buggy
Kelsey: also fingers crossed we dont nearly die boating this time
Jackie: Ummm….die?
Brittany: Look, the waterways here are famously complex okay, cut me some slack on my boat driving skills.
~~
Ilya: Kels we need to Barbeinheimer when you get back.
Kelsey: OMG yes I may have already seen barbie without you though…
Shane: He’s already seen it like three times.
Ilya: There is nothing wrong with seeing a movie more than once Shane. As you would know!
Hayden: I bet Shane has seen Mighty Ducks like a hundred times.
Shane: NO I have not.
Jackie: Probably seen Moana at least ten times because of our kids alone.
Kelsey: seeing a kids move a million times because of your kids doesnt count
Ilya: We are focusing on the masterpiece that is Barbie.
Shane: Please don’t get him started… he will not stop talking about how it is the best movie of the year.
Jackie: Can I tag along?
Ilya: Of course, all are welcome to attend Barbie. I will be paying though, tickets and snacks, and it has to be the nice theater downtown with the fancy popcorn and food that they bring to your seats.
Shane: What he is trying to convey is that he watched Barbie and is now feeling very conflicted about his place as a man with power in a very misogynistic and unequitable field. This is him attempting to make amends.
Tiffany: Dude you are an openly queer man in a professional sport, isn’t life hard for you too?
Ilya: My struggles are not the same as yours.
Hayden: Okay, this is getting too philosophical for a text thread.
Ilya: PIKE. Strike one for you. Remember I am still your captain.
Jackie: Don’t you mean penalty box?
Kelsey: please leave sports out of this
August
Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:
Ilya: **image of Arthur standing proudly outside of the Royal Tyrrell Museum**
Thanks for the recommendation to visit Hunter’s family.
Tiffany: I can’t believe you got to see my favorite fossil in person before I did.
Ilya: Why you not tell me your favorite here. Which one? You could have come?
Tiffany: That’s really sweet of you Ilya but that was your and Shane’s special uncle trip with Arthur.
Ilya: Which one favorite?
Hayden: Somehow, he is menacing over text.
Ilya: Shut up Hayden. Tiff… favorite…. Please….pretty… please.
Tiffany: Hold on I might misspell it. Boreapelta Markmitcheli. Best preserved dinosaur fossil found so far.
Ilya: Will find, send you photo.
Chelsea: Guys that is so sweet of you.
Kelsey: are you taking the girls on uncle trips too
Shane: Ruby is going to Acadia National Park in October and we are taking Jade to Lake Louise in September.
Jackie: I love that my kids will go on outdoor nature adventures with their guncles and not their parents.
Ilya: We are taking Amber to ice hotel in the winter.
Chelsea: Why am I not surprised that Amber wants to go to the ice hotel.
Ilya: **image of the back of Arthur’s head looking upon the specimen of Borealopelta Markmitchelli’s head.**
Shane: Holy shit Tiffany this dinosaur is insane. I can’t believe there is preserved skin and internal organs.
Hayden: You are about to become obsessed with dinosaurs now aren’t you?
Shane: As an officially diagnosed autistic man I am allowed a dinosaur phase Hayd.
~~
Hayden: So hypothetically Chelsea would you be willing to let any family secret recipes become not so secret recipes?
Chelsea: Are we talking about sharing my barbeque expertise with your grill obsessed teammate?
Hayden: Yes
Shane: His name is Bood. Well, Boodram, we all call him Bood. It’s a nickname.
Chelsea: Hell yes I will spill some recipes! Once you get disowned from your family, they are no longer subject to secrecy.
Ilya: I don’t think you want to do this….
Chelsea: Why not?
Ilya: Bood has obsession with grill. Will not stop asking you questions. He will bother you at all hours.
Chelsea: He seems like a good guy from what you’ve told me about him
Ilya: Please, I am looking out for you.
Hayden: The Cap is overreacting.
Ilya: Don’t say I didn’t warn you. He grills in the dead of winter when it is like minus 10000 out.
Shane: Even before two cup wins that patio was decked out enough to make his winter BBQ’S a pleasant experience.
Ilya: Calm down… I know that patio gets you all mr. real estate horny
Shane: I’m not saying that I want his set up, but I can appreciate the time, money and effort he put into creating an outdoor space that is usable year-round.
Jackie: Now it is even more tricked out with that extra cup money.
Chelsea: This is the guy with like five smokers right?
Hayden: Yep!
Chelsea: He might need a bigger backyard when he is done talking with me.
Jackie: I’ll warn Cassie.
~~
Kelsey: PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE
Tiffany: Hockey dudes where are you? I thought we were meeting up!
Jackie: Change of plans, just meeting up with the ally squad, we are by the fountain by the bank.
Chelsea: Hayden Pike your rainbow attire better be restrained today!
Ilya: One of the most strange sentences ever formed.
Brittany: OMG are you both grand marshalling!
Tiffany: Woot. Hometown boys leading the parade!
Chelsea: Is this because of the double double win?
**double** stupid auto complete.
Shane: They wanted us in Toronto. We said no.
Kelsey: surely Toronto pride is bigger and more prestigious than Ottawa
Ilya: We will not go to Toronto for pride. Bad blood in Toronto.
Shane: Specifically bad hockey blood in Toronto. Long story will tell you later.
Jackie: Good luck boys! Hope your arms don’t fall off from waving.
Chelsea: yeah, remember to do the Princess Wave
Hayden: Princess wave?
Ilya: Yes. Was part of Yuna’s media training.
Shane: Thought my mom always called it the prince wave when I was growing up.
Kelsey: fuck the gender binary
September
Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:
Jackie: I can’t believe the twins are in middle school. School runs are about to be insane.
Chelsea: Hey Jackie, we totally are down for picking up Amber and Arthur if you need.
Brittany: Especially when the guy’s season starts up. Just let us know!
Ilya: BBL is also available.
Kelsey: the what now
Tiffany: Umm did you get the wrong chat love?
Shane: It’s his new nickname for Luca.
Ilya: Yes BBL, baby boy luca.
Shane: He is very aware of the other meaning of that phrase.
Ilya: Yes I know what BBL is, but I will never need to worry about them when I have Shane’s butt
Hayden: Ew…. Please not on the grow up group chat.
Jackie: Also, Luca is your co-worker who has the exact same availability as all of you.
Kelsey: yeah make some friends who aren’t on your team.
Shane: Easier said than done.
Hayden: You need to get a hobby. Or kids.
Ilya: I don’t see you walking no children in nature.
Hayden: WTF man?
Brittany: You would be a Tammie Brown fan.
Ilya: **image of Ilya standing next to the drag queen Tammie Brown. He is smiling in an almost crazed manner out of excitement. Tammie Brown has no fucking clue that she is standing next to a ridiculously well-known professional athlete.**
Highlight of the great gay road trip.
Kelsey: i neeeed to hear about that road trip
Brittany: No but really Pikes, you have two different schools to worry about now. We can handle the little ones whenever you need it.
~~
Ilya: Tiff, what times are your concert again?
Tiffany: Guy’s, I really don’t need you to attend.
Shane: We are your friends, of course we will be there.
Chelsea: We know that you are busy with getting ready for work to ramp up again
Jackie: Sorry we can’t make it Tiffany the twins have us out of town this weekend with their dance stuff.
Hayden: Plus, it is like the last free weekend before the season starts.
Tiffany: Wait, Shane, Ilya, shouldn’t you be at your cottage and not attending some lesbians woman’s choir concert about the history of women’s rights?
Chelsea: How come all the gay men’s chorus get to sing fun pop songs and we have to sing about suffrage and oppression?
Ilya: There is Sunday show right? Plus, we need to support queer arts!
Chelsea: Sunday at 2pm.
Tiffany: again, we don’t expect you to attend…
Ilya: Yes, we will. I helped you with the pronunciation on that Ukrainian song.
Shane: Besides, we have already made a donation to your choir. Don’t worry, it was anonymous.
Hayden: Us too.
Chelsea: Guys… too much….
Tiffany: She means to say thank you, she is just shy about having friends who can use their obscene amounts of disposable income for good.
Ilya: So… does that mean I need to not bring my meter long Tiffany and Chelsea banner to the show.
Shane: He’s joking. I promise.
October
Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:
Kelsey: no. you cant make me. I dont want to go
Shane: Kelsey honestly it will be better than any episode of reality tv.
Hayden: It’s just once Kelsey.
Tiffany: Besides, the kids are super excited about it.
Kelsey: no. idontwannago. This is mee kicking and screaming so I dont have to goto hockey game.
Ilya: Come on its against Montreal, like Shane said. Great entertainment. Very little hockey acutally played.
Hayden: Fuck Montreal
Tiffany: Fuck Montreal
Brittany: Fuck Montreal
Jackie: FUCK MONTREAL
Chelsea: Fuck Montreal
Kelsey: can I wear that on a shirt?
Shane: sorry no. Harris would kill us if he knew we’d allow you to do that.
Kelsey: **too many crying emojis than can be counted**
Hayden: Would you be willing to go to a women’s hockey game?
Ilya: The PWHL is gay. VERY GAY!
Kelsey: its not a guys or girls thing
Brittany: She just truly finds hockey mind numbingly boring.
Kelsey:fine
once
just once. i will goto hockey once even if it makes me bad canadian for hating it because I good friend
Ilya: This is why I love being friends with you.
~~
Chelsea: Costume round up!
Hayden: Halloween is three weeks out
Shane: Planning!
Chelsea: Some of you still haven’t told me what you are doing, and we are not having any repeats!
Ilya: Yes, very important we strategize for doggy Halloween parade
Hayden: You know the word strategize?
Kelsey: i assume that vocabulary is work related for him
Jackie: I think he is going for pure numbers in the group category.
Tiffany: I can’t believe that Ilya didn’t push for a group Barbie theme.
Shane: The team is doing all Ken’s for a social thing.
Hayden: Don’t get him started. He will sing.
Kelsey: I want to be Rosalina
Shane: Who?
Ilya: the princess from super Mario galaxy. Also:
**borderline thirst-trap pic of Ilya wearing the Kenough sweatshirt**
Kelsey: correction the hottie from super mario galaxy
Jackie: The twins want to be evil? IDK. Ruby is Wario and Jade is Waluigi
Hayden: Why do I have to be Bowser?
Jackie: Because I am your princess peach!
Hayden: That implies that you are like canonically sort of married to Shane you know.
Brittany: We once thought you were!
Jackie: I’ll be honest. If Hayden ever died, I would have considered it.
Shane: You would have married me, if my best friend and your husband died???!!!!
Jackie: It could have been a platonic thing. I would have been fine being your beard for the rest of our lives.
Hayden: I don’t like that you are planning for my death.
Jackie: We have had this conversation so many times in our marriage, considering your job-
Ilya: EXCUSE ME, YOU WANT TO WHAT WITH MY HUSBAND JAQULINE PIKE? I know where you live! And I have been with him longer than any of you!
Jackie: Calm your tits Ilya. I know that now! But Hayden, if you do die young, I will mourn for the appropriate amount of time and then move on with someone else.
Tiffany: Ha, she’d find another man!
Jackie: I’m not limiting myself to just men.
Kelsey: my queen, you dropped this…. **gif of a crown**
Ilya: You want switch with me Pike? I don’t mind being big scarry villain
Hayden: Sure. Honestly I am Luigi.
Brittany: We have gotten Ruth a toad costume.
Chelsea: FINAL LIST:
Ruby- Wario
Jade-Waluigi
Arthur- Shy Guy
Amber- Daisy
Robbie- Donkey Kong
Emma- Toadette
Ruth-Toad
Hayden- Luigi
Jackie-Princess Peach
Shane- Mario
Ilya- Bowser
Anya- Yoshi
Bitsy- Banana
Princess Sparkles- Chain Chomp
Luna- Blue Shell
Chelsea- Petey Piranha
Tiffany-Dry Bones
Brittany- King Boo
Kelsey- Rosalina
Ilya: We better win
~~
Shane: **group photo of all eight adults, seven kids and four dogs winning the group costume category of the doggy Halloween parade**
So proud of our eldest daughter on her win.
Brittany: Such a fun but chaotic day. I love that we got to take Princess Sparkles doggy trick or treating.
Kelsey: we also now dont need to buy treats or toys for like the rest of the year
Hayden: Isn’t this a bit rigged? I mean I know you both donate large amounts of money to the shelter that runs this event.
Shane: We won that category fair and square.
Tiffany: I mean I think there was definitely some nostalgia bias
Jackie: Hayden, let Ilya have this.
Kelsey: yeah let the man have his victory
Tiffany: Don’t you have more cups than Ilya Hayden?
Ilya: For now….
Shane: We all know Hayd will probably retire first out of the three of us.
Hayden: Why am I even on this chat if all you do is gang up on me?
November
Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:
Ilya: American thanksgiving our place. Be there.
Tiffany: Ummmmm?
Kelsey: wow dude give us a choice at least
Chelsea: Neither of you are American.
Ilya: I lived in Boston for a decade.
Hayden: He just really wants an excuse to eat thanksgiving food
Ilya: Yes, American holiday of eating. It is best.
Shane: Doesn’t actually have to be on the 23rd though since that is a school night.
Brittany: Let me check our group calendar.
Kelsey: can we have sweet potato casserole
Chelsea: Punctuation please. Is that a question or a statement Kels?
Jackie: is that the marshmallows on top of sweet potatoes?
Ilya: Yes, all of the foods. Shane cannot say no when it is traditional holiday foods that is rule in our house. Holidays are modified bird food days.
Tiffany: What does that mean again?
Ilya: No one is making him anything special just because he is fancy athlete. He can just choose not to eat bread and sweets.
Chelsea: That seems kind of controlling…
Hayden: Trust me, this is growth for Shane.
Brittany: Pikes can you do the Friday the 24th?
Shane: Yes (Not a Pike)
Jackie: Yes
Ilya: Yes (Not a Pike yet… Jackie I am Bi you at least have a shot with meeee if Hayden dies)
Hayden: Yes. Will everyone stop trying to get with my wife?
Ilya: No. She is too good for you.
Brittany: No
Kelsey: nope sorry hayden
Brittany: I will bring homemade cranberry sauce. It’s nonnegotiable. The rest of you can eat the crap from a can for all I care.
Chelsea: shhhh…. just let her… it’s a thing for her.
Tiffany: Also, us southern ladies have lots of opinions on pie.
Ilya: I wasn’t planning on having you bring anything….
Chelsea: Why??????
Tiffany: For the love of gay god please don’t tell me you were planning on catering this???!!!! Thanksgiving is for homecooked food.
Hayden: Look it seems like a lot of effort to cook that much food for nearly twenty people for a holiday that-
Tiffany: Nope. Not in the spirit of the holiday Pike.
Chelsea: Yeah, don’t be appropriating our culture and telling us what to do Hayd.
Kelsey: surely not everyone at your work is canadian dont you do a friendsgiving thing with your teammates
Ilya: We do, but some NOT captain decided that it should be a multicultural thing this year.
Shane: I thought it was a nice idea. Like passport dinner but with the team. Besides, my Captain/husband approved my idea.
Ilya: It is not the same as American thanksgiving.
Hayden: Just let your husband have this.
Ilya: No marriage advice from Pike. Our relationship is older than yours.
Shane: Debatable.
Ilya: I dream of green bean thingy, and you deny me Shane
Chelsea: Do you mean green bean casserole?
Jackie: Can we circle back to the pies? What else is there besides pumpkin?
Brittany: I am taking deep breaths trying not to be offended. Pecan, sweet potato, apple.
Chelsea: Peach of some sort was also a given at thanksgiving when I grew up but that’s a Georgia specific thing.
Tiffany: I am very fond of cranberry pie.
Kelsey: I really like chess pie.
Hayden: Wait sweet potato pie?
Kelsey: there WILL BE SWEET POTATO PIE & CHESS PIE
Ilya: Update: Kelsey and I will approve the menus. We have best taste of American food even though neither of us America.
Shane: Can I-
Ilya: Yes Shane, you can make a shared spreadsheet for who is bringing what.
Tiffany: We don’t need to do Brussel sprouts though right?
Shane: Why not?
Kelsey: booooo you would be part of the point one percent of the population that likes brussel sprouts
December:
Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:
Ilya: Does anyone have normal? (according to Shane) Heinz ketchup?
Hayden: I knew Shane was getting sick today at practice.
Ilya: Congrats you are right. Sugar free ketchup not the same.
Jackie: It’s not.
Hayden: He must really be sick if he is asking for Kraft Dinner with ketchup during the regular season….
Tiffany: And at nearly 11pm at night. Sorry dear we only have the organic ketchup.
Kelsey: imonmyway…
Brittany: That means she is bringing you some over right now.
Ilya: My queen, thank you.
~~
Chelsea: Is BBL around? I know that it is Christmas break for you too and he might have headed back to Europe to visit his family.
Hayden: Why, for the love of all that is holy, has that caught on?
Ilya: Yes he is still in town, our break this year is very short. Why?
Hayden: The rookies have started using it.
Chelsea: The kids were learning about December traditions around the world, and now Robbie really wants to go to an authentic Christmas market.
Tiffany: Yeah, and since we aren’t fly out to Germany on the drop of a hat rich like you boys, we figured that BBL might have a better opinion than Instagram.
Ilya: I would never just fly to Germany on a hat drop
Shane: Sweetheart, that is very in character. You are impulsive and wealthy.
Hayden: I would bring it up with HR, but the CAPTAIN started it.
Ilya: I would like the worst player on the Centaurs to shut up. I will send a message to BBL and let you know.
Chelsea: Thanks! We tired and overwhelmed mothers appreciate it.
Hayden: Again, this is my captain speaking to me like this….
Shane: You chose to move here, knowing that he was the captain.
Hayden: Conflict of interest. He is your husband. You are legally bound to one another.
Shane: You are my best friend.
Kelsey: its 8am please keep the hockey drama off this chat
Tiffany: You know we don’t care (lovingly) about hockey.
Ilya: We can watch the kids tomorrow if you need a break or need to run errands or something.
Shane: Yes, we have a brand meeting that will end by 10 am but are free afterwards. Seriously, let the guncles take over for a bit.
Brittany: Ummmmm…. Could you take ours? Kel’s parents are arriving late tomorrow night, and it would help if we could clean without the kids for a few hours.
Kelsey: my mom does not need you to clean like the queen is coming to visit
Brittany: No your mom will just tell me of the time that she saw the queen on some train during one of her Canadian tours back in the day.
Ilya: Wait what?
Kelsey: its a thing all Canadians of a certain age have they all have seen the queen from a distance on some tour back in the sixties or something
Jackie: My grandmother had a story that somehow involved the Queen’s stockings….
Hayden: It’s kind of like how if you get a bunch of octogenarians together, they will go on for hours letting you know which celebrities are actually Canadian.
Chelsea: We do that too, but for letting you know who is queer.
Shane: Hey Brit and Kelsey, no problem we can come by around 10:30 and pick up the kids, what time do you want them back?
Brittany: Would 4pm be too much?
Ilya: We can do later.
Kelsey: i dont need you to feed them both lunch and dinner
Shane: Seriously we don’t mind. How about a 7pm drop off.
Brittany: You are both *literal* angels.
Shane: Our gift to you.
Ilya: Our actual Christmas gift to you is that you don’t even need to attend a Centaurs game ever again. Even pride night.
Kelsey: hallelujah
January:
Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:
Hayden: Can someone pick up Amber from chess club this week?
Brittany: We can do it since we have Robbie this week.
Kelsey: whose house should we drop her off at
Hayden: Mine. But it will have to be after five. Arthur gets home from soccer then, but then I have to take the twins to their dance class by 6:15.
Brittany: Amber is welcome to stay for dinner, and we can drop her off later that evening if it is the most convenient for you.
Hayden: Seriously?
Kelsey: yeah we know that jacks is in toronto for work right now
Brittany: I could pick Arthur up from soccer too.
Hayden: You are the best. I’ll let his coach know to expect you. Thank you so much Brit and Kel, I owe you both.
~~
Tiffany: Hey, did Shane and Ilya get injured? I saw that they both dropped out of the all-stars game?
Kelsey: dont they have a dynasty to protect
Hayden: Something more important came up.
Jackie: They are not injured though. Thanks for your concern and care.
Shane: We also wanted to let some of our teammates shine as well.
Ilya: No. We talked about this Shane. BBL needs to earn his inheritance.
~~
Jackie: Hey do you know of any support groups/social groups for queer youth?
Chelsea: Yes
Brittany: Oh course
Kelsey: duh
Brittany: What are you looking for?
Tiffany: Is this local to Ottawa? Or is it in another region. Are you wanting in person or virtual.
Brittany: Teens, pre-teen, young adult, younger?
Kelsey: special needs or neurodivergent?
Brittany: Are there any ethnic, religious or cultural preferences?
Chelsea: Can you give us any specifics of what you need?
Jackie: It’s not for any of my kids. Let me double check what I can share.
Chelsea: I know that we are asking a lot of questions that might seem overwhelming, but it comes from a good place.
Jackie:
I know that.
It does help.
I appreciate all of you.
Tiffany: And we appreciate you asking for help and using all avenues you can to support queer youth.
Jackie: Elementary aged, MTF trans youth. Also, she is in the process of being adopted into a supportive family from Ottawa area foster system.
Tiffany: I’m going to send you an email in about ten minutes with some resources Jacks. Thanks for reaching out.
Jackie: Thank you for all your help.
February
Elsie has two dads.
Chelsea had looked across the table at her wife and made long meaningful eye contact when her son had revealed that fact last night over dinner. Elsie was the new student who had joined Robbie’s class on Monday. The second week of February seemed an uncommon time for a new student to join the grade two class, but a letter from their teacher had informed them Elsie, pronouns she/they would be joining the class that week.
It had immediately set off Chelsea’s queer Spidey senses.
So, the following day she was glad that she had been scheduled to help with an art project for Valentine’s Day because after the mix up last year, needed to see it with her own eyes first before she made any assumptions about her son’s classmates parents.
Elsie was of Asian heritage, with hair in the awkward stages of growing out from a very short cut. She wore a bowed headband that was frequently slipping off her head and matched her hot pink Doc Martens. Chelsea had a weakness for those mini Doc Martens. She couldn’t manage to get Robbie to be interested in them, but she was willing to spend a ridiculous amount of money for Emma to stomp around in them for a few months at a time before she outgrew a pair. Elsie’s dress was a frilly with a red tulle skirt and little white hearts covered in glitter, and her opaque white leggings were already stained and ripped in five places by the end of the day.
Elsie had no last name visible on any of her class nameplates. It wasn’t too uncommon for the kids to just be referred to by their first names in grade two, and the teacher had mentioned quietly that Elsie was in the process of being adopted and her surname would legally changed in a few weeks anyways.
Chelsea had made a point to compliment her on her very pretty headband, and the little girl had beamed with pride in being called the correct gender that made her stomach flip a little with excitement. Chelsea felt an urge rise within her to protect this tiny little kid from the world around her with every maternal fiber in her body. She was even more proud to see that Robbie and Amber had taken quickly to being her friends, allowing Elsie to trot behind them like a duckling as they showed her around the classroom she was still adjusting too.
The art project was a blur, and she was more focused on helping the students than asking Elise any personal questions. When the school bell rang, she followed Robbie out of his classroom and into the typical Ottawa winter. The snow was deep and compacted, with paths cleared frequently with shovels and salt. Chelsea was going to walk Robbie home, and Elsie followed them on the cleared path towards the awaiting group of parents waiting to walk home with their kids.
Chelsea’s eyes followed the top of Elsies pink and white bear toque and matching puffer coat as she scanned the crowd, looking for any faces she didn’t recognize. She was trying to determine who Elsies soon to be parents were, while pushing down the worry that was churning in her stomach. But as she watched who Elsie was running towards at dismissal, she realized she didn’t need to worry at all.
Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander were unmistakable, even under toques and long coats. Ilya of course, in all of his jovial nature had brought that old-fashioned wooden sled with him. Elsie, Robbie and the two youngest Pikes were now trying to figure out how to all fit on it as Shane was burdened with their backpacks.
Chelsea walked over to them, watching as Arthur was pouting that there was no room on the sled for him now that the three younger kids had crammed themselves on it. “Okay, okay we can… um… rotate.” Ilya was saying in a half-exasperated voice as he finally found the word in English he had been mentally searching for.
Chelsea cleared her throat to announce her presence to the men. She looked around not seeing Hayden or Jackie, so they must have been here to pick up the Pike kids as well. “Are you kidnapping my son?”
Ilya looked at her and shrugged. “I was going to drop him off at home eventually.”
She waved her hand carelessly back at him, “You could keep him.”
“Maybe, but our place would be awfully crowded.” Shane teased her as he looked down and kicked the snow with his boots.
She had come to realize that while Shane was often sure he was keeping secrets from others, his intentions couldn’t be any clearer if you knew what to look for. His face was expressive in a way that gave away his true feelings, and he was blushing slightly and not just from the cold. She had a retort in mind, something about the sheer amount of empty rooms at his place, but she held her tongue instead.
She didn’t try to catch his eye, and she didn’t say it loudly in case someone overheard, she just asked the question in a soft voice which she knew Shane could hear; “You’re Elsie dads, aren’t you?”
A smile, genuine and honest, crept across Shane’s face as he was still getting used to the title. “Yes. Yes, we are.”
She beamed back at him. “Was this the plan?”
His face lifted, and he first scanned to check on Ilya and the kids. They were still figuring out a system for sharing the sled. Arthur was insisting on rotating based on age, and of course his sister was arguing that it should be alphabetical. Shane then turned his gaze towards her, she knew he wasn’t making eye contact with her, just pretending to look in her general direction. There was probably a whole roll out plan that had been formulated, press statements and social media posts that could have been controlled, and yet once again nothing in Shane’s life was going according to plan.
He cleared his throat, “The plan was to adopt a child who was close in age to Hayden’s kids from the foster system. One who would benefit from a family structure like ours.” He paused and she understood, a kid who would benefit from being wrapped up in the unconditional love of a chosen family “We thought it would take years. We started the legal process over a year ago, we thought that we still had years of waiting ahead of us but…”
She smiled in his direction, “Kids have their own sense of timing.” Even her own kids whose creation had literally been down to a meticulous science had their own concept of entering into the world. Robbie insisted on being nearly two weeks late, and Emma had been four weeks early.
His shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath as his gaze turned back to Elsie who was sitting at the lead of the sled at the moment. His whole face was shining with love and devotion, “We met Elsie, heard her story and… we knew.” He breathed into the cold winter afternoon.
“Is it all finalized?”
Enough that she had clearly moved in with them, had started school, that they had taken some time off work to adjust to being parents “We are waiting for some final paperwork to be processed, but basically yeah... it’s… she’s our daughter.”
“I’ll save my hugs for your husband. But I am proud of you, Shane, and I am happy for you. Please, feel free to reach out anytime. You know we mean it.”
Ilya gave a dramatic sigh and began to pull the sled full of children out of the parking lot and back towards the residential streets. Amber was currently the odd one out and bemoaning about how this was making her Papa fall behind in the dad rankings. Chelsea watched with a smile on her face as she and Shane fell in step behind the giggling gaggle of their kids and family.
Cool Grown Ups of the class of ’34:
Shane: So, big question, is our daughter invited to Robbie’s birthday party next week?
Hayden: Finally, can we talk about this now.
Ilya: I can’t believe we let Hayden in on a secret again.
Jackie: I can’t believe he actually was able to keep it a secret this time.
Hayden: Again, why am I always getting chirped from my own wife?
Shane: To be fair he only had to keep silent for like weeks rather than years this time.
Brittany: I missed something didn’t I?
Kelsey: what secret dudes
Chelsea: wait….oh…
Tiffany: OH…..OHHHHH
Hayden: Chelsea how did you know, you’re being sus?
Ilya: Did your kids teach you that?
Tiffany: Sorry, Chelsea may have told me.
Shane: That’s okay, it’s going to be public at the end of the month.
Brittany: Wait, what?
Shane: Okay so, Ilya and I have been going through the process of adopting a child from the foster system.
Ilya: IT’S A GIRL!
Brittany: ankjrb;oiarhgo;I rg’asr jgoisherg;oir
Kelsey: Brit is rolling around legs up in the air i have been informed she is squeeing sp?
Tiffany: Congratulations!!!!!
Chelsea: So happy for you both
Shane: Everything moved a lot faster than we had planned for, we met her at the end of January and she was cleared to move in with us last week.
Chelsea: To answer your question, yes Shane and Ilya, your daughter is welcome to Robbie’s birthday party next Saturday.
Kelsey: **pink confetti gif**
Jackie: I am so happy and so proud of you both…
Hayden: Welcome to the girl dad club.
Kelsey: Brit says you are being very dramatic and gay about this
Ilya: Too bad we didn’t go with my announcement plan.
Tiffany: I’m sure it would have rivaled a Broadway production.
Brittany: Okay, I have recovered. OMG I am so happy for both of you!
Shane: I’m not sending any photos yet for safety/legal reasons. Chelsea just happened to meet Elsie yesterday at school.
Kelsey: Elsie that is such a cool name.
Brittany: Is everything finalized?
Ilya: We are just waiting on official confirmation from government, but essentially yes.
Chelsea: BTW Ilya, you now have just as many kids as Pike.
Hayden: What no he doesn’t?
Tiffany: Anya, Amber, Elsie and BBL
Kelsey: is luca still the baby
Ilya: Always
Hayden: Okay ha ha. But not true. Ilya and Shane only have Elsie and Anya.
Ilya: Ha. I win Pike. I win! I will one day have more kids than you. Also, Luna does not count for your kid total, since your poor doggy doesn’t have even one brain cell, but Anya is a genius.
Hayden: You are the worst.
Ilya: I am the captain
Hayden: Shane make your husband stop!
Shane: Just so you know, both of you are acting like children right now.
Brittany: All right, break it up.
Jackie: The group chat name is now accurate.
Hayden: What?
Ilya: Hayden. NOW the group chat name is accurate!
Hayden: She is both digitally and physically yelling at me FYI.
Shane: We are officially the cool grown-ups of the class of 2034.