Chapter Text
The engines had roared loud enough to swallow the world whole.
Metal screaming against metal, heat licking at his skin, wind tearing past him so violently it felt like it wanted to rip him apart piece by piece. The punishment had been relentless, overwhelming, leaving no room for thought, no room for breath.
That damn motorcycle ruining him once again.. the pain and the terror he received from all of that ended up in a soft, silent place with nothing but void present.. his body, his soul didn't hurt anymore, he didn't understand why.. he still had his violet eyes closed, his hands balled into tight fists as he slowly begun to regain his consciousness...
He took deep breaths, trying to steady himself as he slowly opened his eyes, seeing a flicker of light as he did, once they were complately open, he could tell that this place was no ordinary, no where he had seen before.. it felt.. too empty, as if he was lonely once again.. and according to the silence, and no figures being present, he could tell that he was in fact lonely, there was no one here, not at all..
The tall male slowly steadied his body, sitting up right, he gazed around the now empty world, taking in every bit of it.. He could almost see some.. white flowers? Somewhere a little far away, his curiousity making him wonder where all the trails of flowers went..
Well, if he was honest, he'd rather stay here and rot, and that's what he has been planning for the moment being, what he did was terrible and he was sure that he didn't deserve to see the beauty of this world after all that damage he had caused..
He stayed like that for a long time... A very long time as much as he could tell, he had let the emptiness press from all sides, silent and indifferent.. tho his gaze was locked on the petals that were flying around with no effort, slowly being shaped around one other, gracefully falling down one by one.. It was a beauty he haven't seen at all as far as he remembered...
"...Tch.." He muttered under his breath, rough and low. His fists unclenched softly, as if he was more relaxed for the moment being.. though, the guilt was still eating from the inside, making him unable to think properly for the moment being. He brushed his fingers against the soft floor, whether trying to see if it was real.. He quite thought of pinching himself but he was sure that this wasn't a dream, he was dead, and he knew that he damaged someone while he digged his own grave.
He shifted slightly, now sitting more comfortably, he looked at his hands, lowering his head. The memory of what he did clawed at him with no warning, making his gaze shift from comfort to one that was quite hard to tell, he seemed to have all kinds of emotions built in him for the moment.. Anger, sadness, guilt.. regret, and feeling like a failure, it all struck at once, making him take a few deep breaths as he slowly moved one of his hands to rest his forehead against it, he closed his eyes, the guilt growing more and more inside him. He thought to himself in silence, imagining how things could be if he could control himself at that moment, that little boy, who looked angelic before he struck that dumbbell would be alive now, and that was what was supposed to happen, not this pitiful death he had caused.. And he didn't even get to keep his secret, they found out about it too fast, he failed at everything he tried to do, he was a failure
His jaw clenched as he remembered the look the boy gave him, his hazel eyes full of hope, staring at him with courage and confidence, and the look after he ruined him.. the look chihiro had in his face as if he was asking "why"
He slowly pressed his palms against the floor, trying to feel something real beneath his fingers, anything.. anything that could count as real. But even the surface beneath him felt unreal, hollow, like it was only waiting for him to vanish. He had expected this. He had expected emptiness. Loneliness. Silence that could stretch for eternity. And yet… it didn’t stop the ache in his chest. It didn’t stop the guilt that coiled around him tighter than any rope.
His eyes drifted towards the petals once again.. he hated how free, how effortless they could be with his whole heart, he didn't deserve to see the beauty of it, not when he already ruined one that is so beautiful. He hated them for carrying the beauty he could no longer reach, he hated them.
The tried to curl up, trying to make himself dissapear with the guilt he was suffering at that moment, he wanted to dissapear more than anything, but then, something unexpected happened..
He heard footsteps, they felt unreal.. they were silent, almost too careful, he wondered what was going on, but he also didn't want to see.. he felt like it wasn't anything good to begin with, he was all alone here wasn't he? Was he hallucinating now? He didn't know. He had the courage and spoke up finally, slowly fixing his posture, but still afraid to see who was approaching him.
"Whose there?" He asked, he didn't know how his voice came out at the moment.. he surely hoped it wasn't rough or aggressive though, he didn't want to scare whoever was there.
The footsteps drew closer, making his body stiffen, at that moment, he decided to turn back and stare at who was approaching him, and he kind of regretted doing so, because the one he faced was no one other than the one he ruined, Chihiro.
He was standing just beyond the petals, his hands clasped nervously, he didn't seem to have the look on his face that mondo thought he would, he seemed sad, but not angry, not at him, not at all.. what was more shocking was that he seemed alive, rather than the expression he had once he.. died.
"Chihiro..."
His name left Mondo's lips before he could stop it, his body which had been preparing to vanish into nothing froze entirely, small tears filling up in the corners of his eyes, he looked at the smaller boy, no words leaving his mouth as he did.
The boy didn't run, didn't recoil, he instead stepped closer, just slightly.. Enough to let his presence brush against Mondo's trembling form. Mondo's violet eyes, heavy and filled with disbelief finally met chihiros hazel eyes. The quiet void seemed to hold its breath, as if waiting for the moment that should've never happened.
"W..Why are you here? You shouldn't be.. not after what happened" His voice cracked, rougher than he realized. He couldn't finish what he was saying, he didn't have the courage to do so, even if he normally did.
Chihiro only stepped closer, once again.. Each step felt like they were measured, careful and slow, like each step was measured so he wouldn't break something fragile.. Mondo knew that the only fragile thing here was him at the moment, he had shattered long before this moment...
"I... I wanted to see you..." Chihiro said, softly, his voice carrying a gentle tone that he had used most of the time..
Mondo's chest tightened, as if his heart was being crushed at every single spot it could, he wanted to look away, he wanted to run away but his body refused. He couldn't. His gaze, trembling and unsteady, stayed locked on chihiros face.
"You.. You shouldn't be alive.. I killed you.. I ruined everything, I hurted you, and taka.. I- I didn't mean any of this to happen" he rasped, his voice cracking finally, his usual tough demeanour now gone, replaced with the feelings he had built inside him.
Chihiro didn't flinch, didn't move right away, he only sat down right next to the boy who was now breaking down, his hands gently pressing against his shoulders.
"I know, I know you didn't want to.. and I forgive you" He whispered, the word sank deep into Mondo's heart, he didn't know what to say, how to react. He didn't understand why, not at all.Though at that moment, he felt himself relax, letting out the tears he haven't.
He felt the smaller boys arms wrapping around him, his warmth feeling undeserved at the moment, his body shock as he sobbed, his tears falling down his face as he apologized. Then, he did something he didn't believe he could, and wrapped his own arms around chihiro's, just seeking his company and presence..
Forgiveness was a hard thing to face, well at least for him.. but relief washed over him from the moment he heard these words and he felt better.. just like he could finally heal from this even if it was too late, even if he ruined everything. This was what he needed, even if it was hard to believe, he felt himself complate at that moment..