Chapter Text
"Miss Tamashi, you have 3 overdue assignments. I expect you to have them done by day's end. I will not tolerate laziness in my class."
"I- I do, don't I...? I'm very sorry, Professor... I'll get them done as soon as I can."
Okami didn't think her seventh and final year at Hogwarts would be this difficult. The work itself isn't all that difficult, of course, and she knows it; it's her mental state that's the difficult one.
Ever since... last year, it's been difficult just getting out of bed in the mornings. She can hardly even brush her teeth. Today marks possibly the fifth day without having cleaned her teeth.
She feels disgusting, vile, lazy, but... no matter how hard she tries-- how many all-nighters she's pulled, journaling, drawing, anything to get her mind straight-- it's all for naught. Her friends worry for her, and she knows that much, too.
Speaking of friends... She needs to try to visit them sometime. She's been very withdrawn... even avoidant of them, sometimes. She knows that they care about her, and seeing her in this state must be painful for them. Is that the reason she's avoiding them? So that they don't have to see just how awful she's been?
She hasn't been eating much, either. Much is an overstatement. She simply has no appetite; even the thought of eating a simple chocolate frog makes her stomach churn. She's certainly lost weight. She's always been lightweight, so does it really even matter?
The body aches are terrible as well.* Simply going up a flight of stairs leaves her breathless and sore. Even carrying these books right now has her trembling with weakness.
Weakness. ‘Weakling.’ Who did that remind her of...? Oh, right. Where was Merula, anyway? Okami hasn't seen her since-day-one rival around for a few days, not since at least last Thursday. Wait, didn't I have a paper due Thursday--
"Watch it, Tamashi."
She recognizes that voice! Okami stands dumbfounded, her books now scattered on the floor in a pile just as cluttered as herself.
"M-Merula! There you are--! I mean-... Hello, sorry I-" Okami rambles, clumsily kneeling to gather her books. She watches Merula's black boot lightly push a book towards her in an almost careless manner.
"Bloody hell, aren't you a mess..." Merula muses, her tone strangely lacking that usual venom. Okami has noticed how mellowed out the girl had become over the years. It's almost as if they were never enemies in the first place.
"Oi. Space-case." Pale fingers snap repeatedly in front of her face.
Okami blinks twice. Merula is now crouched in front of her, a few books in her own hand. "I asked you a question."
"Wh-... What did you ask?" Okami is quick-- too quick to even grasp her own words-- to respond.
"I asked where you were headed off to in such a hurry." Merula lightly pushes the books against Okami's chest.
Oh. Okami stares blankly for a moment, trying to process Merula's question and remember where exactly she was headed in the first place. Where was she going?
Merula rolls her eyes, pulling Okami to her feet. She's grown quite familiar with Okami's frequent "blank-moments." Okami just takes more time to process things than others do, that's all. Merula briefly recalls when she'd torment Okami frequently about her habits when they were young-- what was it, second year?-- but recently she'd realized that, even with Merula's past treatment of her, it wasn't something that could simply be cured.
"Library." Okami finally blurts out. No, no, that wasn't it. Dorm! You were going to the dorm! Too late, she'd already said it, now she needs a good reason.
Merula's brow arches; even she doesn't believe it. "The library." It wasn't a question. Her arms are crossed. Okami sways on her feet nervously. Now you've done it.
"Yes, t-to... To w- read." Okami mumbles, staring down at the cover of one of her books. Merula stares with a skeptical glare, but seemingly decides against questioning any further.
"Mm." She stuffs her hands in her pockets, turning to head off. Okami stares for a moment, her mind battling between wanting to follow or to scurry off to her dorm like she must have originally planned.
"Muh-- Mm- Mer--" Merula stops immediately at the muddled stammering, hearing Okami's footsteps quickly padding up behind her. Of course Okami would follow. Of course she's going to run her mouth, tell Merula how much of a failure she's been. That would surely humor the Slytherin.
"What." Merula mutters. It's not a question. Okami can't quite place the tone, but it's certainly not angry. Perhaps annoyance? No, no, not even that. Should she just leave? No, just say it.
"I... er... Would-- do you want--" Okami mumbles, her sentences tangled together like one of her forgotten crochet projects somewhere in the back of her wardrobe.
"If you're asking me to join your little bookworm session, then you'd better give me one bloody good reason to." Merula's voice, again, isn't even angry, as she used to be. What is that tone? Talk, just talk, Okami! Before you forget again!
"Yes. Er-- I mean, I-- um... You're--" Okami's free fingers are fidgeting with her dirty-blonde locks. "I want... you. To come with... me." She says it slower, more carefully. Merula glares once again, but it's a strange, ‘not-mean’ glare. Okami stares down at her feet, now, her hands fidgeting with the compressed pages of one of her books.
"Fine, damn." Merula shrugs, lightly grabbing Okami's sleeve to tug her along. The entire way down the corridors toward the library, Okami avoids looking Merula in the eyes, mostly out of fear of annoying her even more than she possibly already was.
Now they're in the-... No, no they're not. Why are they in the Artifacts Room?
"Merula, this isn't--"
"Shut it." Merula leans back against the door, her arms crossed over her chest. Okami fidgets with the long, blonde locks of her hair that hang over her shoulders at the sight of the taller girl staring down at her. Something about Merula's eyes specifically... It used to actually frighten Okami, not much anymore, but it's still certainly unsettling at times.
"...Now, talk."