Chapter Text
If Jamie was back in Manchester he would have been back on campus by now. It had been two weeks since his injury and even though the doctors had said that he had to wait a month for a return to even light activity, he would have been lingering and pestering the physios and working out in secret. Instead, Jamie was laid on the grass in the Higgins’ garden and rolling a ball for Mary Puppins to chase while he took on some sun. He was relaxing, on holiday, bag wasn’t even packed. For the first time since he was a toddler, Jamie felt content. Now he was just waiting for the next shoe to drop; something was going to ruin this and he couldn’t be complacent.
“Jamie,” Julie called from the doorway.
“Yeah, sorry, lost track of time,” Jamie sat up, rolling onto his good side to be able to leverage himself upright. It was good that he had a perfectly sculpted core because it was an intense workout to do anything with only one shoulder.
“No worries at all Jamie. You can spend as much time out here as you want. The dogs are always happy for the exercise,” Julie chuckled. “Leslie and I just have a favour to ask. Could you come in?” she added.
Here it was. Jamie had been waiting for the moment the Higginses would need something from him; kindness doesn’t come with out a cost. He had been lounging about for two weeks doing little more than hiding twenty pound notes everywhere because Julie wouldn’t let him pay for anything. Jamie knew that soon they would get tired of him and he would have to do something to keep his peace. Two weeks before it happened must be a record.
“Yeah sure,” Jamie plastered a smile onto his face.
“Thanks Jamie,” Julie nodded, tenderly brushing the bits of grass off his back onto the patio. Jamie leant into the touch, he might not have it for much longer.
“So it is a Saturday,” Higgins stated, leaning up against the counter when he had pressed a cup of tea into Jamie’s hands.
“Yes?” Jamie frowned. Time had been super weird during his two week isolation but he did know that.
“Julie and I are going to the Richmond game, verses Tottenham. We wanted to know if you might want to come?”
Thankfully Jamie hadn’t taken a mouthful of his tea yet or it would have ended up spat all over the counter. “What?” he wheezed.
“Football, you must be missing it being hidden here and we were thinking you wouldn’t have been to a match as a spectator in a while,” Higgins explained, not sounding any less insane.
“A Richmond match without me is not football,” Jamie scoffed. His chest puffed out until a tired glance was exchanged between Higgins and Julie. Shit, Higgins did still work there … maybe he should be nice? No Higgins understood football rivalries. “You can enjoy your mediocre kick about. I’ll stay here,” Jamie shrugged.
“We thought that would be the answer,” Julie smiled softly at Higgins. Jamie’s frown returned; he didn’t know that look and he didn’t like the couple sharing secret messages when talking about him. Jamie much preferred it when people told him what they thought about him to his face, he gave the same courtesy to everyone else. If they told him to his face then he could react appropriately. “So instead you will be around the house to help,” Julie turned a brighter smile on Jamie.
“What?” Jamie muttered cautiously.
“Babysitting,” she added and Jamie’s stomach dropped.
The whole two weeks Jamie had been at the house, he had been waited on hand and foot. Everything he could do himself he had tried to do but he hadn’t had to push himself or do anything that came with a risk of hurting his shoulder any more than it already was. He had got complacent, used to it. But now he was slightly better, Higgins and Julie were going to the game, the AFC Richmond game at Nelson Road, which was coincidentally where Jamie would not be seen dead. The Higgins children had decided that they didn’t want to go to the game with their parents and instead they wanted to stay home and spend the day with Jamie. Apparently Jamie was much cooler than going to see AFC Richmond, which of course he was. Even though with only one arm he couldn’t play, he could still be more entertaining than the Richmond idiots. Jamie was great with kids, but these were Higgins’ kids and that was the only thing that was causing the butterflies to swarm in his gut. They were teenagers, teenage boys, and Jamie hadn’t been a teenager that long ago. They would like games and food and tv and football. In theory that should be easy. But Higgins had put together this test of Jamie’s willingness and intentions; Jamie was not going to fail this test. These children were going to have the best afternoon of their lives and Jamie would show Higgins that he could be a responsible person.
This babysitting business was easy. Jamie whooped and thrusted the controller up in the air. He had hyped this up in his brain as a test and that the lads were going to be trying to cause him trouble but the exact opposite was the case. All he was having to do was play video games and make sure there was no injury or property damage. Not that there was a risk of either of those two things as the Higgins boys were on best behaviour and seemed to be coddling him more than he was for them. Dana had got his drinks for him and he was pretty sure that Kris was letting him win the Mario Party minigames; but Jamie could do with a win right now no matter the form it came in. But the longer it went on for Jamie was starting to wonder who was actually doing the babysitting. Kris was absolutely old enough to watch the others and Julie had raised responsible boys. Jamie had been left home alone a lot younger and he was a hooligan. Kris Higgins was not a hooligan.
“Come on,” Kris groaned but there was a little smile hiding in his expression as he pressed on back to the main map.
“Cannot believe you are getting beaten by a man with one arm,” Steve cackled. His laughs grew in intensity as Kris pushed him off where he was perched on the arm of the settee.
“I’m just that good,” Jamie preened, sticking his tongue out.
“Sure, sure. I’m not out of it yet,” Kris scoffed.
“Bring it,” Jamie mouthed tauntingly. The smile was etched onto his face. It didn’t matter that he was being babysat; this was fun. Jamie had never been just Jamie before, not since he was seven and found out that he had a desirable skillset. Even as a kid Jamie had to be Future Superstar James Tartt Jr and then when he was Man City Talent Jamie Tartt and then he was Golden Boot leader Jamie Tartt. However with the Higgins boys he was just their dad’s friend Jamie. They weren’t treating him like a hero even though they knew he was a millionaire footballer. It was refreshing and Jamie needed this.
“Oh come on,” Dana whined.
“I don’t know,” Jamie sighed, fingers on his broken arm wiggling slightly.
“We can’t have Jamie Tartt as our babysitter and a small goal in the back garden and not play some football,” he argued. He did have a point; football was the main part of the Jamie Tartt package and so he should deliver on that.
“I’m on physio rest. No exercise,” Jamie countered. He was trying to be good. Higgins had brought him to this safe haven to rest and recuperate properly not to bust his shoulder again having a kickabout.
“As if you couldn’t run rings around us with just one arm, unless you think you can’t,” Dana argued, shrugging his shoulders and slowly turning away from Jamie. Jamie knew what he was being played and this was textbook trying to pander to Jamie Tartt’s ego. That didn’t mean it was wasn’t going to work though.
“Course I can,” Jamie scoffed, levering himself up off the settee with his incredibly impressive core muscles. It took more effort than usual though; maybe he did need a bit of a casual kickabout to stay fit. He pretended to ignore Dana’s little fist bump as he ran to get the ball but matched the smiles of the other Higgins boys.
The last time football felt fun was before Ted Lasso came storming into his life. Under Cartrick, Richmond was a toxic hellhole but it was a toxic hellhole that benefitted Jamie. Overnight he had gone from being a nobody on the best team in the world, to being the superstar of a team in need of saving. Jamie could have stabbed Roy in the back and Cartrick would have still have praised it as the best tactical decision in an age. It prodded Jamie’s ego in all the best ways and he was playing the best football of his life. It was miserable for everyone else but to Jamie football was fun again, he was flying. Then Lasso happened. Lasso had driven a truck through Jamie’s carefully constructed house of cards and now he was left at an all time low; a club he didn’t want to return to, an angry father he couldn’t bare to talk to, a career that had disappeared overnight, a house he wasn’t safe in, no girlfriend, no friends, a sport he couldn’t bring himself to love anymore. But playing with the kids, that was a new rush. Jamie didn’t have to be good, he wasn’t even playing properly with his shoulder all strapped up, to entertain them. He was pulling out all of his street skills and little flourishes and each one was met with the appropriate reaction of laughs and awe. It was fun, no pressure, no cameras, just fun.
“Ok ok, I’m tapping out,” Jamie wheezed, raising his good hand in surrender. His shoulder had started to throb with the movement of his torso as he run and he did have to be careful with it if he wanted to return on the original timetable. “You lot keep going though, I’ll just …” he sighed, plopping ungracefully down onto one of the garden loungers.
“Does that mean we win?” Kris asked.
“Hell no. Just a delay, first leg you know,” Jamie laughed, his eyes fluttering closed as he rocked his head backwards. He was sore and had overdone it today, but he couldn’t regret it.
“Jamie?” a small voice muttered. Jamie wrenched his eyes open to find Terry looming over him.
“What’s up kid?”
“I got you this. And this,” he proudly held up Jamie’s trusty heat pack and a blanket.
“You didn’t need to lad,” Jamie smiled, trying to will away the mistiness in his eyes that was becoming a frequent companion.
“Nope, but I did,” he shrugged. And yeah … Jamie didn’t have a counter to that.
“Thanks then,” Jamie nodded and laid the heat pack over his shoulder. The relief was instant as the warmth soaked into the abused muscle strands. “Ok then you lot. I’ve shown you all my tricks. Now you show me yours,” he called out, draping the blanket over his legs.
“Jamie?”
A hand on his shoulder gently shook Jamie awake. It shouldn’t be surprising that with the energy of the day and the comfort of the heat pack and the blanket Jamie had drifted off to sleep; but it was surprising that the kids had let him sleep for long enough that Higgins and Julie were back. There was a little lick at his ankle that told him the dogs were also back from their doggy playdate.
“Slowly now,” Higgins guided Jamie upright.
“Sorry. I fell asleep while I was supposed to be watching the boys,” Jamie groaned, scratching between William Shakespaw’s ears before the dog ran back inside in the search of food most likely.
“It’s no trouble,” Higgins brushed it off easily while Jamie clambered to his feet. There was the confirmation. It wasn’t Jamie babysitting the lads, it was them watching Jamie; but in that moment with Higgins’ smile turned on him, Jamie didn’t care.
“So how did you find it?” Higgins asked. “Spending the day with the kids?” he added when Jamie tilted his head in the confusion.
“It was good, why? What did they say?” Jamie mumbled. He bunched his good hand in the bottom of his hoodie. His other one twitched and the dull constant paint radiated through it. The sling carried all the weight but the heat pack had long cooled.
“They had a great time. But I’m asking how you found it,” Higgins prompted again.
“Why?” Jamie asked, again seen as though Higgins hadn’t really answered the question the first time around.
“Because I care about you having a good time. I want you to have had a good time,” Higgins blurted out, the words fading into a squeak and an awkward flush. It took all of Jamie’s willpower to not ask why all over again. Higgins had taken Jamie into his home, looked after him when no one asked him to, welcomed Jamie into his family. Jamie had been an ass; he had the self awareness to know that, he didn’t regret it but he did know it had happened. He didn’t expect people who had been on the receiving end of his verbal assault to care about him having a good day.
“Oh,” Jamie muttered instead, clearing his throat and straightening himself up. “Yeah, yeah I did. Your kids, they’re great,” Jamie nodded.
“They are aren’t they,” Higgins agreed, raising a hand to squeeze Jamie’s good shoulder. It took all of his perfect physical control to stop the instinctual flinch before it manifested in his nerves. Higgins wouldn’t hurt him; the man didn’t have the temperament or the physical prowess to get one over Jamie. The only people who were able to hurt Jamie Tartt were the people he let hurt him, Higgins was not one of them. “You ain’t half bad either,” he added with a chuckle. Jamie could feel his vocal chords moving and his chest rising but he didn’t hear the returning laugh that he must have made. Because Higgins was talking about him like he was a part of this. He wasn’t joking like Jamie was a friend who was staying for a few weeks and had babysat. He was joking like Jamie was watching over his younger brother’s while their parents were out. Jamie shook his hand out and bounced on his toes. He was being stupid; Jamie was one hundred percent reading too much into this little interaction. Higgins was just being nice in that gormless way he always was.
“I did want to say thank you for being so good with the kids. We’re all enjoying you being here with us and the boys have really appreciated you spending time with them,” Higgins added just as Jamie was coming back to himself.
“I, yeah. No problem,” Jamie stammered. “Just repaying you for taking me in you know. This house isn’t big and I know what it much be like trying to feed this family on what Miss Welton pays you,” he rambled on.
“Well actually she gave me a payrise after the mess that was last season and so it’s not as bad but that’s not the point …”
“I thought I was rambling bad,” Jamie scoffed.
Higgins flushed red and squawked out an aborted bleating noise before clearing his throat and nodded. “Yes, well. Having you here isn’t an imposition. We are enjoying you being part of the family.”
However before he could process that statement, Jamie was guided inside for a nightcap and to watch Man City against Bournemouth before the boys went to bed. He was a Man City player and of course he wanted Man City to win but once the game was over he would not be able to tell you a single thing that happened. Higgins’ calm assertion that Jamie was a part of the family had broken him. It didn’t help that the eldest Higgins, Lindsay Higgins was sat in the armchair with a cup of hot chocolate in hand, chatting with Julie. Jamie wasn’t used to religion as a part of his day to day life. His mum had once lied to try and get him into a catholic primary school and that was as close as he had ever been to organised religion. Shit, would God have told Lindsay about that? It wasn’t Jamie’s decision though and it didn’t even work. Jamie had done a lot more things that were against the words of the bible than that though. All this indecision just led to Jamie sat with Terry pressed up against his side, a heat pack over his shoulder, a cup in his good hand and staring at Lindsay in a way that was probably far too intense and a couple of shades of weird. “How are you enjoying being back in London?” Lindsay eventually turned and spoke to Jamie with a small smile.
“It’s, nice. Yeah it’s good to get away from the city while in rehab you know,” Jamie nodded.
“I can imagine, seeing everyone else heading off to work and you being stuck at home,” Lindsay nodded.
“Yeah, sucks,” Jamie just managed to keep the swear word from tumbling out, he was not getting into that fight again.
“Well you’re always welcome to help look after this lot. More than happy to split big brother duties but they are a handful,” he rolled his eyes.
“Hey!” Steve protested and there were chunterings from the other younger Higginses. Jamie on the other hand was mustering his best goldfish impression as his mouth opened and closed ever so slightly and his eyes widened. He didn’t know what to say, there was so much to say but the words wouldn’t come to him. Thankfully Steve’s exclamation had distracted the table and so Jamie was able to subtly wipe the moisture that was building in his eyes away with the side of his hand. Lindsay had met Jamie today and was so effortlessly assuming that he was there to stay. That was the crux of it because, somehow, Jamie did want to stay. He did want this; the joking teasing, the days relaxing together, the unconditional support. Jamie had been a prick and they had just told him and he stopped and everything was fine. There were no strings, and Jamie was craving it like a man hunting for water in a desert. It was everything. Jamie didn’t want to leave. But he was going to have to. This deal he made with Higgins had an expiry date; Jamie had to go back to Manchester and Higgins had to carry on with his life. He had two weeks, only two weeks.
The boys had gone to bed and Lindsay had gone back to his church house when Jamie’s phone started vibrating incessantly. It was only Julie, Higgins and Jamie sat around the dining room table with the expensive bottle of wine that Jamie had promised and they were chatting about the day. Jamie had finished recounting the Mario Kart duel when it started. At first he ignored it, Man City had lost and so the group chat would be firing with motivational quotes and check ins to make sure everyone it was ok. It was a bad loss and all of them in that chat knew how a loss like that hit. Jamie had put his inane platitudes in as soon as the final whistle blew. So he was content to let it buzz away and it would stop soon when people were heading to bed. But then it kept going … and going.
“Everything alright?” Higgins asked when Jamie angrily yanked his phone out of his pocket.
“Yeah it just won’t stop buzz …”
Jamie’s voice stopped in it’s tracks, his jaw tightening and whole body freezing. “Jamie?” Higgins asked. His breaths were short and abrupt.
“Jamie who’s calling you?” Julie whispered, reaching her hand out towards his leg. But her hand never made contact; Jamie flinched so hard his back and injured shoulder jolted back into the back of the settee.
“Fuck,” Jamie wheezed, hand flying up to try and brace the recently dislocated joint.
“Jamie, oh I’m so sorry,” Julie exclaimed, jumping out of her seat. Higgins was quick to follow.
“It’s fine,” Jamie wheezed through gritted teeth. It wasn’t. He was pretty sure that he hadn’t reinjured anything but his pride; despite that it really fucking hurt. Compounding that, his phone was still there next to him thankfully face down. His dad was on the rampage and, not for the first time, Jamie was glad he was not up in Manchester.
“I’ll get your …”
“I said it’s fine,” Jamie snapped, his fingers digging into the settee cushion. Both Higgins and Julie hovered uncertainly with twin looks of infuriating pity and worry all over their faces. It made Jamie want to scream and hit something and maybe cry a bit and he hated it. “Just let me breathe,” he hissed. The bestowment of a task they could do seemed to break the tense petrification that had descended on the room and both Higginses eased out of their stances. Jamie did just that. He stopped and closed his eyes and breathed and tried muscle strand by muscle strand to relax everything in his body that had tensed with the pain. The pain wasn’t even that bad when he thought about it; it was the shock that had rattled him and sent his brain into flight mode but he was strictly grounded right now.
“Can we … get you anything?” Julie asked, quietly.
Jamie inched one eye open. Higgins had disappeared and Julie was now perched on the table with such a look of motherly concern that Jamie couldn’t stop the mist starting to cover his eyes. “Some of the good drugs?” Jamie croaked, his nose crinkling and face folding in on itself as he tried to will the tears back into his eyes. “And …”
The phone vibrated again and that was it.
“And throw this fucking thing into a volcano,” Jamie yelled, and in a fit of hazed insanity, launched the slim black box towards the wall.
“Jamie!” Julie squeaked, as it thumped down onto the irritatingly carpeted floor.
“It’s my fucking dad. He won’t leave me alone and he wants to know where I am and when he can get his money and I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t …” Jamie rambled, the water trickling down his cheeks like a leaky tap. His voice cracked and suddenly the tap was opened all the way and sobs shook his whole body.
“Oh kid, can I give you a hug?” Julie sighed. Jamie’s head bobbed up and down. He wanted his mummy; he was in pain and scared and tired and it had been a long day. A hug sounded like exactly what he needed and he didn’t care what it looked like. Jamie shouldn’t have been surprised that Julie was a great hugger; she was the stereotypical perfect mother and it was a key mother skill to be able to hug. She was much smaller than Jamie but her arms still enveloped him and he sunk effortlessly into the embrace. Her hand was so tender against his shoulder but held him together as he shook. “I know,” she whispered, pressing a kiss into his hair. “I know.”
“I don’t,” Jamie hissed. The tears were starting to dry and his breaths were turning into hiccups more than sobs. “I don’t know what to do.” Everything was so much from all different angles. The Higginses were being so nice and that was overwhelming in it’s own way; Jamie didn’t cope well with people being nice for niceness’ sake, which was probably why he struggled with the Lasso effect. Then there was the looming threat of his hometown in the background; Jamie was going to have to go back to Manchester whether he wanted to or not and when he did his dad was going to be on the warpath. It was going to be even worse if Jamie ignored him now. But trying to talk to him now had the same appeal of ripping out his spine from his body.
“I’m guessing based on your reaction to your phone that you don’t want to talk to your dad right now?”
“Well he shouldn’t! That man …”
“Leslie now is not the time,” Julie hissed. Jamie wetly chuckled with his forehead resting against Julie’s shoulder.
“I don’t want to,” Jamie whispered with the smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. Selfishly he was appreciating someone going to back for him. James Tartt Sr would rip Leslie Higgins to shreds but the sentiment was appreciated.
“Ok then. Leslie is going to get your phone and block him. Then we are going to get you some painkillers and into bed. The rest can be worked out later. That sound good?” Julie stated, as if it was that simple. Jamie wanted it to be that simple.
“Ok,” he whispered. And that was that.