Chapter Text
Dick slowly drifted to awareness. A feeling he couldn’t place surrounded his body. It felt nice, though. He was wrapped in comfort, in warmth? Yes, he was warm. Its relaxing waves radiated across his skin. He breathed deeply, almost lulling himself back to sleep before he heard something shuffle in front of him. The warm waves muffled a sound, a voice that fought to break through.
“...ick, Dick!”
He fought with all he had, and eventually, Dick was able to open his eyes. He immediately winced from a bright light that made his head start to throb.
“Shit, sorry. I’ll turn it off.”
After a little fumbling, the light turned off. Pain began to subside and Dick opened his eyes again to find Jason hovering over him. There was just enough light to see the worry creased over his face. The dark circles under his eyes made him look like a corpse.
Dick glanced around the familiar room, medical equipment lined the walls. It was a room he had become very acquainted with over the years, but he didn’t know how he got here.
“Let me get Alfred, or do you want me to call Bruce?”
Jason began to rush to the curtain that separated it from the rest of the cave.
“No!” Dick managed to croak out. His voice was no more than a gravelly whisper, but it stopped Jason in an instant.
“Stay.”
Jason turned to face him, he looked disappointed that he couldn’t get away. He scooted a chair closer to Dick and sat down with the weight of Gotham on his shoulders.
“Do…Do you remember what happened?”
Dick gently shook his head even though every twitch seemed to correspond with a thrum of pain. He could tell he was concussed from the familiar fog shrouding his thoughts. Other than that, all he could tell was that they put him on the good stuff, so he must have gotten himself in big trouble this time.
Jason raised his eyebrows, then sighed, “I’m not surprised. You were in Gotham on an impromptu stakeout before getting knocked out.”
Jason paused. His anger grew from the green flecks in his pupils reflecting in the light, before he looked away from Dick, toward the floor, to continue.
“They ran you through with a meat hook and left you in a freezer.”
Dick instinctively went to grab his own shoulder. He couldn’t remember much, but the feeling of the hook rubbing against his collarbone is something that would be hard to forget. Jason quickly grabbed his wrist. Dick noticed his hand was bandaged.
“Don’t do that, Dick. You might open the stitches.”
“How long was I in there?”
“Over an hour. I– I found you nearly bleeding out on the floor. You had somehow managed to pull yourself off the hook and find a cell phone. Your comm had broken when you got knocked out.”
Jason paused again. There was something Dick could see was bothering him, but before he could ask, Jason continued.
“Overall, you lost almost two and a half pints of blood, had moderate hypothermia, your right lung ended up collapsing from getting punctured, double pneumonia, along with a concussion.”
Dick didn’t feel that bad, but that was probably the industrial grade painkillers they had pumping through him.
“How long have I been here?”
“Four days. There was a moment when we didn’t know if you would wake up. Tonight was the first time Bruce left the cave with the others for patrol.”
The weariness of Jason’s voice made his ears hurt. Dick couldn’t begin to imagine what his family went through while he was unconscious.
“Jay, I’m sor–”
Jason bolted up right, “No!! Don’t. Do that.”
He walked over to the foot of the bed, putting his wrapped hands on the railing. Jason’s entire body looked as stiff as the bodies in that freezer.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”
“But you didn’t do anything wrong?”
Jason took another moment to collect himself, “You called me, Dick. I was the first person you called for help and I declined the call.”
Dick remembered laying on the cold steel floor, holding his breath while the phone rang and the disappointment of a voicemail not set up.
“Jason, it's okay,” Dick tried to put on his famous comforting tone, but it only squeaked out.
“No, it’s not!”
Dick looked down to his brother’s hands which were squeezing the railing like it was the only thing keeping him from falling, “Jay, you’re bleeding.”
His white bandaged knuckles were seeping in red splotches. Jason hid his hands into his pockets. Dick frowned. What did Jason do to himself?
“I- uh, got carried away in the training room.”
“You need to take care of yourself, Little Wing.”
“What if I deserved it?”
Dick was confused, but he couldn’t tell if it was from Jason’s stupid question or the concussion.
“For what? Missing a phone call from an unknown number?”
“For leaving you to die alone!”
The silence created a vacuum. Dick didn’t dare to speak. Any misconstrued word would create a black hole which would suck them both into the void where they could never escape. An eon passed before Jason opened his mouth.
“The worst part of that night wasn’t the broken bones or the bomb. It was the realization that nobody was there to comfort me before the end. I knew help wasn’t coming, and that was okay, but dying alone, that was terrifying.”
“I’m right here though, Jason, you did save me.”
“That doesn’t absolve me for letting you suffer alone.”
Dick knew they were going to go in circles of self blame if he didn’t try to stop Jason from spiraling further. He knew what he had to say to him, but that wasn’t going to be easy either.
He took as big of a breath as he could, “You know, I blamed myself after you died.”
“What? Why? You weren’t even on Earth when it happened, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right. That didn't stop me from running through all the different ways I could have either stopped you from leaving or making it in time to that warehouse to save you.”
“There’s nothing you could have done, Dickie.”
Dick raised his eyebrows to make the point abundantly clear.
Jason huffed, “Noted.”
“It was a very difficult time even before you died. My relationship with Bruce was already at its most strained and your death was what severed it entirely for a while. I blamed myself because I was hurting and it took me a long time to realize that the blame was trying to bury that pain.”
His brother shifted uncomfortably. Emotional honesty was something that this family had a really hard time with. It was compromising to the pillars of strength they appeared to be every night. Dick had learned that if he didn’t share his pain, he wasn’t going to be able to live with himself. He hoped he could teach that to Jason as well.
Dick continued, “You don’t have to respond. I can’t imagine the pain you have had to bury since coming back, Jason, and I know this won’t be solved tonight. I just want you to know that we are all glad you’re still here.”
Jason relaxed a little, a small smile curled on the edge of his lips. As if on cue, a familiar face peaked through the curtain. Bruce was still in his suit, but he had removed the cowl. His features were slightly sunken in, imperceptible to most people, but to Dick, it showed all the stress and worry from the past few days.
Bruce sighed, “You’re awake, good.”
Damian came crashing through the curtain along with Tim and Steph.
“Richard!”
Dick winced as the sound hit his ears, but he couldn’t help but smile.
Tim smacked Damian’s head, “Be quiet, stupid.”
Damian was unfazed as he quickly got on the bed next to him.
“Never do that again, Richard.”
“I promise, Dami.”
Dick held his hands out to usher the ritual ‘Sorry, I almost died’ group hug. Tim and Steph giggled and rushed in, then Bruce, leaving Jason at the foot of the bed.
Dick motioned him with his free hand. He was not going to get away from him. Jason rolled his eyes and slowly made his way into the hug. Dick was going to make sure he didn’t leave his brother alone again.