Chapter Text
Love.
Love was a disgusting pathetic thing, and even more than that it was something that Shadow milk was entirely undeserving of.
A few days had passed since Shadow milk had gone to the vanilla kingdom last. He still hasn’t returned to retrieve his mask, he didn’t want to see Pure vanilla, not after being so stupidly vulnerable with him, weren’t you supposed to be vulnerable with people you cared about? Did he even really care about Pure vanilla?
he didn’t understand how his own mind could be so confusing.
It should be so simple, he loved Pure vanilla, so he should be okay with that. But instead it made him angry to think about, it made him so angry to care about someone other than himself.
he was desperate to understand herself.
The only thing that managed to make this entire situation worse was the melancholy had returned. He hadn’t felt this horrible since he’d still been the Fount.
He’d only found himself feeling this way when Pure vanilla was gone.
He’d been just fine before they’d become friends, or something close to that.
but that wasn’t entirely true now was it, he was lying to himself once more. He had felt this, though he’d of course disguised it as hatred.
maybe it was hatred. It should be hatred, that should be all Shadow milk felt for Pure vanilla. All this being in love with him crap shouldn’t have even happened, he shouldn’t have let himself be so weak.
He knew what he should do, he should go and tell Pure vanilla that whatever this was was over, he shouldn’t keep dragging this out when he knew it couldn’t possibly last.
He didn’t bother going to say good morning to the deceitlings, he merely opened the other-realm and stepped through.
the golden eyes had begun appearing once more, blinking down at him with a strange fondness.
that was a delusional thought, they weren’t fond of him, they were just lingering traces of the destruction that Pure vanilla had wreaked upon Shadow milk’s domain.
It was a perfect day as always in the vanilla kingdom, clouds covered the sky in a blanket of gray, sun shone in rays casting golden light across stone streets lined with lilies.
The stone of Pure vanilla’s balcony was sun-warmed, Shadow milk almost wished he could lay across it and soak up every last drop of warmth.
Pure vanilla wasn’t there, annoyingly enough. The room was empty, not even buttercream was in there.
He figured it was a good chance to see what Pure vanilla had in here. Maybe there’d be something interesting enough to use against him.
He first went to the small table placed beside the plush bed. The sheets were tucked in, perfectly made, the pillows fluffed. It was annoying how Pure vanilla always had everything together.
When he opened the drawer he was shocked to see so few things, there was a small bottle of something, what looked to be a journal (though Shadow milk wasn’t exactly sure how Pure vanilla would even be able to write in it considering his eye sight.), and finally a small box.
He started with opening the journal, the handwriting inside was messy and borderline unreadable, the first few pages were rather normal, just recountings of days, who Pure vanilla had talked to, the things he had done.
he’d read nearly ten pages, and was beginning to think this would truly be just another boring record of the days, then he found it.
a page about him. It was shocking to say the least.
the things said about him were shockingly nice, though a bit cheesy if he said so himself.
It was all just some weird stuff, calling him pretty, in general just sickeningly sweet things.
Then he heard the door creak open behind him. He froze in place, the book dangling open from one clawed hand.
“Oh Shadow milk! How wonderful to see you.” Pure vanilla clasped his hands together in front of him, utterly delighted.
Shadow milk hadn’t expected such a delighted tone, he hadn’t expected Pure vanilla to be excited to see him at all.
this’d only make the thing he’d come here to do harder.
it only made it worse when Pure vanilla rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Shadow milks shoulders in a hug.
Shadow milk, quite stupidly, reciprocated.
Pure vanilla didn’t pull away before he spoke. “So, I assume you came back to get your mask? I know you left it, and I would’ve tried to get it to you sooner if I had any way to track you back to wherever you go.”
“I go to the spire. And I’m glad that you aren’t able to find me there, I need a break from your whole… you-ness sometimes.”
“Thats perfectly alright, we all need time on our own sometimes.”
Why did Pure vanilla have to be so kind.
He was desperate to just say it already, he needed to tell Pure vanilla that he was leaving and never coming back.
of course right when he had mustered up the courage to say so, Pure vanilla completely ruined it by pulling back just enough to press a quick kiss to Shadow milk’s forehead.
He hated this.
“Well, one moment then, my friend. I’ll go get your mask for you. I know I put it somewhere in here..” Pure vanilla pulled away from Shadow milk to go to the cabinet pressed against one wall. Shadow milk had wanted to check that too, but of course he hadn’t had time.
It was a long moment before Pure vanilla stopped rummaging around. It gave Shadow milk a chance to look over the room, to see what had changed. The flowers in the vases were wilted ever so slightly, the windows covered in dust as if they hadn’t been cleaned in quite some time. The shelves of books and trinkets were messy and unorganized, most looking like they’d been shoved back into the shelf haphazardly.
it was strange, usually everything in Pure vanilla’s room was perfectly organized with nothing out of place.
Pure vanilla finally turned around, holding the mask out towards Shadow milk with one hand. Shadow milk snatched it away, nearly dropping it on the floor in the process, before shoving it on to his face.
He really should say it already. He needed to just say it, he couldn’t keep dragging this whole pathetic thing on.
Usually he would’ve relished in hurting someone, in being cruel to them, yet now it felt utterly impossible. Every time he went to speak it felt like every word caught in his throat before it reached his mouth.
It only made it harder to speak when Pure vanilla looked at him like that, when he was so kind, so gentle, so eternally patient with him. Shadow milk didn’t deserve this. He knew he didn’t, he didn’t deserve any form of kindness after all he had done.
“Would you like to join me for breakfast, shadow milk?” Pure vanilla asked.
it made him sick, he couldn’t bear the thought of spending more time with him, yet couldn’t bear the thought of being apart from him. He wished he had never met Pure vanilla, he wished Pure vanilla wasn’t so kind to him, he wished he didn’t love Pure vanilla.
he wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible, he just wanted to tell Pure vanilla that he was leaving and never coming back. He wanted to be able to do that, but of course he wasn’t.
He’d been ruined, entirely ruined. He was wasn’t behaving how he should.
“nah. I’ve got better things to do than hang around you.” He sneered.
he didn’t have better things to do of course, but Pure vanilla didn’t have to know that.
“Oh, I understand. Will I see you again today?” It disgusted him how hopeful Pure vanilla was.
“Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. Maybe you should mind your business and find better things to do than waiting around for me.”
“I rather enjoy waiting around for you, I just wanted to know if I should be here, or if I should go about my day as usual.”
“If I wanna see you I’ll find you. You don’t need to wait in your room like some lost cake hound.”
“I suppose that is true.” Pure vanilla conceded.
“see? I’m always right.”
“That isn’t true.. though, anyways, Shadow milk, will you join me in my gardens tonight?”
”maybe.”
Shadow milk had gone back to the spire, he knew it’d be a slow day, after all he didn’t have anything to do.
maybe he should go see Pure vanilla tonight, it could be interesting.
and then he’d have a good chance to finally just say goodbye.
Pure vanilla had invited Shadow milk to join him in the gardens that night.
it was now two hours past when Shadow milk had promised to be there.
He really should just go back inside by now, yet he didn’t. He stayed sat on the stone bench.
Then, he saw a shape at the edge of the gates; Shadow milk was standing there. He was holding something that Pure vanilla couldn’t make out.
He rushed to the gates, Buttercream ran barking behind him, he tried to keep himself from grinning ear to ear as he stared at Shadow milk. He’d been so sure that he wouldn’t have shown up, yet here she stood before him.
“Shadow milk!” He didn’t know what else to say, anyways it was rather pleasant to hear Shadow milk’s name on his tongue.
“Yeah yeah I’m here. Calm down, I got bored.” Pure vanilla could finally see what Shadow milk was holding, it was bouquet of pure white flowers. It was lovely, Shadow milk was lovely.
Pure vanilla was in love.
he really was. It was incredible.
Shadow milk let himself into the garden, pushing past Pure vanilla to put the flowers on the bench.
Shadow milk wasn’t wearing his mask, which surprised Pure vanilla. He would’ve expected Shadow milk to want to cover himself up around Pure vanilla.
Shadow milk turned back to Pure vanilla, a sneer on his face as he bowed and held out one hand towards Pure vanilla. Pure vanilla remained still, he wasn’t sure what To do.
“Ahem?” Shadow milk stood slightly, gesturing to his outstretched hand with his other one. “I am trying to be nice and you are making it extremely hard.”
“Oh! Yes yes, my apologies, dear.” He hoped calling Shadow milk that, he truly did hope he wasn’t doing something wrong. He let his hand come to rest upon Shadow milk’s own.
To his surprise Shadow milk tugged him forward, Pure vanilla wasn’t sure what to do, his free hand hovered just above Shadow milk’s shoulder.
“Do I need to tell you what to do? Are you stupid? Have you gone blind and deaf? Do you have no idea what’s going on? Do I need to take you to a doctors to be cared for?”
“That was… excessive.” He let his hand come to rest on Shadow milk’s shoulder. Shadow milk put his own hands on Pure vanilla’s waist. Pure vanilla hadn’t danced with anyone in quite some time, or at least that’s what he assumed was happening.
His thoughts were confirmed when Shadow milk started to spin them in a slow circle.
it was a lovely night, utterly perfect, the scent of lilies and milkcrowns filled the air around them, the sky was clear and cloudless, moonlight shone down around them. it was a full moon that night, making the courtyard rather bright.
Pure vanilla had to stifle a laugh as Shadow milk tripped ever so slightly on an uneven cobblestone, nearly causing Pure vanilla to fall with him. He felt a grin break across his face as Shadow milk leaned closer, he hadn’t felt this incredible in oh so long. Not since white lily—
he didn’t let himself finish that thought, he couldn’t dwell on her when he was in the presence of someone who loved him.
“You look quite divine tonight, shadow milk.”
“Wow. Way to butter me up. What are ya trying to get now? Hm?”
“why would I be trying to get something from you? I merely wished to tell you my thoughts.”
Shadow milk scoffed, yet he spun Pure vanilla out in an arc, holding onto him by his hand, before tugging him close once more, wrapping his arms fully around Pure vanillas waist. They weren’t even really dancing anymore, more so just hugging while swaying. He’d do anything to just stay like this forever.
He felt as if he was in heaven.
It was strange to him, how once Shadow milk had hated him, and yet here they were.
“…I love you.”
Pure vanilla froze. He hadn’t expected to hear that tonight, he hadn’t really expected to hear that ever, let alone right now.
it was wonderful.
it was the most wonderful thing he had ever heard.
“You gonna say something?”
“right! Apologies. I love you too.” He had to stifle the grin threatening to break across his face. He was filled with more joy than he’d felt in years.
Shadow milk could barely think. It’d felt nearly impossible to say it, to finally admit out loud his feelings towards Pure vanilla. It was gross, and weird, and horrible. Love was disgusting.
Pure vanilla pulled away to stare at Shadow milk. He hated feeling watched like this. He felt sick. He couldn’t believe himself indulging this little delusion of Pure vanilla’s. It was stupid to think that they could ever actually have something.
After all Pure vanilla was far too good for Shadow milk. Shadow milk kept acting like he was the best cookie on earthbread, he always acted like everyone was beneath him, like he was a god. He didn’t deserve to act like that, not when he was the scum of the earth.
Pure vanilla leaned in. Shadow milk couldn’t decide whether to pull away or lean in as well.
He didn’t pull away.
he hated himself for letting Pure vanilla be this kind to him.
he hated Pure vanilla for loving him, he hated himself for loving Pure vanilla, he hated himself for not pulling away when Pure vanilla kissed him.
It was the second time this had happened.
it was the second time he was foolish enough to let this happen.
Every time he was around Pure vanilla he felt sick. He felt sick knowing he had only intended to retrieve his souljam, he felt sick knowing that he’d allowed himself to become something soft, he was like some pet.
When Pure vanilla pulled away once more neither said anything. Shadow milk really hated being around Pure vanilla.
He was a reminder of how many times she’d failed.
He had liked Pure vanilla more when he was the Truthless recluse, at least then he wasn’t something better than him. After all he’d just dragged him down to his own level.
Obviously that hadn’t worked out in his favor in the long run. Because now he was here.
He could still take his souljam back.
it’d be even easier to do know that he was this close to Pure vanilla, now that Pure vanilla trusted him so completely.
It’d be so easy to just grab it and run. To disappear and never come back here. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to do it, some stupid part of him knew Pure vanilla deserved more than that.
Pure vanilla deserved someone who would never even consider using him. Pure vanilla deserved someone better that Shadow milk. And Shadow milk shouldn’t be letting himself act like this.
he was supposed to be cruel.
He really should speak up, he really should let go of Pure vanilla, he should just say goodbye already. He should stop thinking about this stupid fantasy of peace that had dwelled in his mind since that stupid offer of friendship. He was evil, he was cruel, he was one of the beast cookies. So why couldn’t he act like it?
why was he suddenly choked up over some stupid cookie? Why was he suddenly scared to hurt someone else. He hadn’t ever worried about this before, after all no one had mattered more than he did. Until now. Until Pure vanilla had ruined him.
He should give up already. He shouldn’t even say anything, he should just disappear and let Pure vanilla figure everything out for himself. He shouldn’t even care what Pure vanilla felt or thought. He shouldn’t even care about any of this.
He finally pulled away, he hated the way Pure vanilla frowned and tilted his head. He hated the way it instantly felt like he was choking, as if tears might fall from his eyes at any moment.
He was pathetic, utterly pathetic.
He was a disgusting monster, he was a horrible excuse for a cookie. He was horrible.
He wished he could crumble right now, before he said anything. Before he ruined everything more than he already had.
He wished Pure vanilla could just move on from him and accept that the weeks spent together were meaningless this whole thing was meaningless.
it was just a mutual mistake.
He started to back away towards the gate, already getting ready to bolt.
“Shadow milk? Is something wrong? Did I do something?” He hated hearing the crack in Pure vanillas voice, he hated how Pure vanilla immediately blamed himself.
he ran. He ran like the fool he was. He ran because he couldn’t face his own problems yet.
the spire was dark and quiet when he entered. The deceitlings had probably gone to sleep by now, or at least they were busying themselves with something quiet, it was a nice change from the constant screaming and fighting that usual echoed throughout the vast halls.
He walked to his room as quickly as possible, the blank walls of every hallway felt worse than the constantly watching portraits somehow.
His room was a mess, the bed unmade, clothes tossed on nearly every piece of furniture.
At least the bed was soft and welcoming as usual, he felt as if he may never leave. He didn’t half mind that. It’d be nice not to worry anymore.
he was the fount. And he was in a dark room, it looked as if it might be perfectly beautiful if it was daylight. He stood atop a stage in a giant library, a podium stood before him. The ceiling was made of glass, a giant dome that showed the stars in the sky above. The moon was full that night, casting just enough light to see by.
a line of cookies waited before him, they wanted answers. Of course they did. He knew not a single one was here just for his company. They were never here for his company.
“fount, oh fount of knowledge!” The cookie at the front of the line shouted. The cookie looked just like the rest, the same common clothes, the only thing that changed between cookies was their hair and dough. The one standing before him had pale nearly white dough and purple hair.
”ask your question.” He replied. It was the same reply he gave every time. Everything was the same every time. Nothing ever changed.
”why do we suffer?”
that was… well that was far from what he had expected to be asked, but he could answer anything. “Well, the witches baked us to live lives almost mirrored to their own. So I suppose we suffer since the witches suffer. They are not cruel gods, they merely wish to allow us to live as they do.”
”alright.”
he hates that response, really no follow up? No questioning what he said? No chipping in with opinions of their own? These cookies really were all the same, just practically lifeless shells, stupid apathetic beings who didn’t truly care about the knowledge they seek from him.
The next cookie came up to the podium.
the cookie looked oddly familiar, blond hair, and a simple brown robe made from patches of fabric. He carried a staff wrapped in bandages.
”ask your question.” Said the fount. It wasn’t often that cookies would wait for him to speak first.
“Why do you lie?” He froze. He had never been asked this question before. Did he lie? Well sure he did, just a small white lie here and there didn’t hurt anyone. He was like any other cookie.
but was it wrong for him to lie? He was the fount of knowledge after all, so maybe he should be more ashamed.
“well, I don’t lie.” But that was a lie in itself. “But I suppose some cookies lie to give comfort to others, or to themself.”
”you lie about the witches.” Another rather unexpected statement, but he could bear with it.
“I didn’t lie.”
“you lie to all of us!”
he did. He did lie to them all and it only made the accusation hurt worse.
he blinked and the scene had changed, he now stood in an empty void where stars floated around him.
It was strangely comforting to be alone.
But he wasn’t alone.
a cookie walked up to him, a child this time, with blue dough and light white hair. It looked oddly like him if he had ever gotten to be a child. But obviously he hadn’t been a child ever, there would be no point in baking a tool to have a life. He was just a tool.
The child wore a simple outfit much like the ones that most cookies of the milkcrown village wore, except for him it was all in shades of blue and white.
The child spoke before The fount could.
”why do you keep trying?”
why did he keep trying? He didn’t know. “I—I suppose I continue to try since I am needed.” Was that why he kept trying? Or was he just too scared to crumble?
was he even too scared to crumble?
he could crumble himself. He could easily crumble himself and be done with this utter nightmare.
this was a nightmare. He was dreaming, wasn’t he? He had to be dreaming.
”oh but you aren’t needed, Shadow milk cookie. You can be replaced so easily, or even better you could give up and let the people make up what they want to believe what they want to. After all then people would be happy. Wouldn’t they?”
”yes they’d be happy, sure they’d all be happy but knowledge is often more important than just happiness, after all happiness without knowledge is just stupidity.”
the child’s voice now sounded exactly like his own. “But they’d be happy at least. They wouldn’t question the witches intentions. They wouldn’t be like you, all sad and pathetic, unable to be happy.”
He blinked again, and now they were standing in a field. Sheep surrounded them, but still him and the child were the only cookies around.
”you’re no better than the witches.”
“well obviously none of us are better than the witches! They’re our gods after all.” He was desperate for this to end, for anything to stop this horrid conversation.
When he blinked again they were back alone in the void.
”they’re like animals. The cookies you see every day are like animals who need your guidance, and without it they are oblivious and happy. Without you they are all happy, without you they don’t know of all the suffering that plagues this world.”
He finally woke up, gasping for air as if he had been drowning. He hated dreams like that, little reminders that he was an utter failure from the moment he was baked
no one could’ve failed more than he had.
He hated himself even more now. He hated remembering how many cookies he had failed.
He felt sick. He stood from the bed, instead going to walk. A walk would be nice, he needed some fresh air.
he opened the other-realm to step through. The eyes that covered the sky were all closed now, as if even they were asleep.
he stepped out onto the other side. The moon was bright, the stars somehow brighter, tall trees cast shadows down across the mossy forest floor, which was now covered in fresh flowers and fallen leaves. A river must’ve been running nearby, as he heard the faint sound of water bubbling.
it was shockingly calming to be out here. Wherever here was, he hadn’t exactly chosen a specific place to exit at. He was somewhere other than the spire at least.
a twig crunched beneath his hoof as he took a step forward. He wasn’t even sure where he was going. He felt sick. He felt lightheaded, as if he could faint at any moment.
he stumbled forward, catching himself against one of the many trees surrounding him.
he couldn’t go back to the spire yet though. He couldn’t be in those suffocating walls today. He couldn’t deal with this.
he wished he could just let himself sink into the water and let his dough get soggy like any other cookie.
he could do that.
It’d be so easy. Oh so easy.
he didn’t want to be alone right now. He knew it was pathetic, he knew it was stupid. He was stupid.
and yet here he was already opening the other-realm to go to Pure vanilla for comfort like a lost cakehound.
he was no better than some pathetic cakehound, he was just like them. He was mean when he was scared, he followed around one cookie.
he was just like a damn pet.
disgusting.
It was cold inside the other-realm. Colder than usual. It sent a shiver down Shadow milk’s spine as she stepped through onto the other side, and right onto Pure vanilla’s balcony.
he couldn’t believe how dependent he’d become, how desperate for an ounce of comfort.
her eyes stung as she opened the door, it let out a soft creak as it scraped against the floor.
Pure vanilla didn’t stir.
Shadow milk walked over to the bed, he sat down on the edge right next to Pure vanilla.
He looked stupidly peaceful while asleep, he almost didn’t want to wake him.
it was stupid, so utterly stupid. He hated everything about this.
his cheeks felt wet. He’d started cry if without realizing it alot more often than usual lately.
Pure vanilla finally stirred, eyes blinking open as he pushed himself up on one hand.
“Shadow milk…?” His voice was quiet, eyes bleary as he sat up. “Why are you here this late? If you wanted to stay the night you should’ve just stayed earlier.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice cracked as a sob came.
he hated crying, he really did. It was worthless, he wished he didn’t cry, he wished he could just be an emotionless husk.
he wished he didn’t have to actually be a proper cookie, he wished he could just be the fount again.
he hated everything.
He collapsed forward, forehead coming to rest against Pure vanilla’s lap.
he hated feeling hands come to smooth through his hair, he hated everything, he hated Pure vanilla, he hated himself, he hated the witches for baking him.
“shhhh. Let it out. You’re okay.” He hated how stupidly nice Pure vanilla was. Pure vanilla was a stupid naive cookie who thought he could fix everything, and he hated Pure vanilla. He hated how his first instinct when in pain was to seek Pure vanilla. He felt sick.
“I’m a failure—“ he choked out between sobs. He hated being so vulnerable, especially around Pure vanilla.
“how so?” Asked Pure vanilla.
he didn’t want to be asked any questions right now, he didn’t even really want to be here right now, but it was better than being alone.
maybe being alone would actually be better.
He managed to sit up, body still shaking as he cried. He was like a weak little child, it was disgusting. He couldn’t believe himself.
he rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hands, trying to wipe away the tears that ran down his face.
Pure vanilla’s hands came to rest on Shadow milk’s shoulders. She hated this. It was awful.
He didn’t deserve to be treated so kindly, and that thought kept repeating. It’d been repeating every time he was treated well.
He reached up to shove Pure vanilla’s hands away. Pure vanilla merely replied with a small smile.
This entire thing was disgusting. He really should speak up already about how he wasn’t coming back. He needed to speak up about how he wasn’t coming back. But would he really be able to leave forever? Of course not. Not when his first thought was almost always to go to Pure vanilla.
“I’m leaving.” She finally said.
“for how long? When will I next see you?” Asked Pure vanilla.
Shadow milk didn’t want to answer. He couldn’t answer. He should’ve relished in leaving Pure vanilla, he should’ve left long before this point. He should’ve taken his souljam and never returned like he’d planned to do.
He stood and began to walk towards the balcony door. He wanted to leave as fast as possible, so that he could get this whole ordeal over with already.
Whatever had been going on between him and Pure vanilla was just a dumb little waste of his time. It was fun, sure, but that didn’t take away from how it couldn’t have ever lasted. It shouldn’t have even lasted as long as it did. Not when Shadow milk had been so determined to just do a simple task.
He paused just before he reached the door. Should he go back and take his souljam? If he did so then everything wouldn’t be a waste. He wouldn’t have wasted his time. Then maybe he could just say the entire mess between the two of them had been a game, just something to make this moment hurt more than it already would’ve.
He didn’t turn back to grab his souljam. This was so stupid. He was so stupid.
He stepped out of the balcony, he tried his best to ignore the way Pure vanilla called his name as if it would do anything at all. He stepped into the other-realm.
It was cold, and it was dark. It was the same as it always was, so he wasn’t sure why it was suddenly so incredibly unpleasant. He felt alone in here. Usually he’d just feel like he was behind watched by the eyes that filled the skies above him.
There were now patches of white amidst the darkness, accompanied by the same golden eyes that damned cookie had left in his domain
he hated having so many reminders of how he had failed at everything he’d ever tried doing. He’d failed at being the fount of knowledge, he’d failed at being Shadow milk cookie. He’d failed at even trying to be nice to Pure vanilla.
He couldn’t keep thinking like this. After all who was he if not the greatest cookie on all of earthbread? He was perfect in every way. He was not a failure. He’d done everything perfectly, it was the cookies around him who had failed him. He was nothing but utter perfection given form.
He felt wonderful. He was wonderful. He was amazing.
He stepped into the spire, it was quiet. It was dark. The walls were barren. Why had he even bothered to remove all those paintings? They were just reminders of how incredible he was.
He made it to his bedroom, he really should fix it up soon. It was gross, everything was a mess. But he should probably sleep first.
sleep would be good for him.
then tommorow he could fix everything.
The bed was soft and warm.
it was great.
Everything was great. He was great. He’d made the right choice.
Pure vanilla was worried to say the least. He hadn’t expected Shadow milk to just leave without answering his question.
He probably shouldn’t worry too much. After all Shadow milk was fine on her own.
He laid back against the bed. Buttercream was sitting on the foot of the bed, staring at the balcony door where Shadow milk had just walked through.
He’d be back eventually. There was no way she’d really just be gone. Even the last time he’d disappeared it’d only been a couple weeks. Surely it’d be no different than the last time.
He figured he should go to sleep, after she’d be back soon.