Chapter Text
Poseidon: Of course I don’t have a favorite child! I love Percy and all the non-Percy’s equally!
Percy: What’s her name *points at Mia*
Poseidon: Shit
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“I’m too hot for gender” -Alex Fierro 2026
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Magnus: Being an atheist has gotten boring so I have declared that I will now be God.
Alex: Does that make me a missionary?
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Mia: No I’m aroace
Percy: I thought you were Russian
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Mia: I can’t find Nico
Mia: Cause he’s probably sucking dick
Mia: Bitch pick up your gods dam phone you’re gonna make me sick!
Nico: Hey bitch where you at?
Mia: I don’t know where the fuck I’m at
Nico: Can you hear me?
Nico: Am I breaking up?
Mia: I can’t hear you, are you breaking up?
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Mia: Merry Christmas!
Nico: I want drugs
Mia: Happy Birthday!
Nico: I want drugs
Mia: Happy Kwanza!
Nico: I want drugs
Mia: Every Thursday!
Nico: I want drugs
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Nico: From now on we will be referred to as code names
Nico: I am Eagle 1
Nico: Percy is been there done that
Nico: Will is currently doing that
Nico: Jason is it happened once in a dream
Nico: Mia is if I had to pick a girl
Nico: Frank is…
Nico: Eagle 2
Frank: Oh thank gods
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Drew: Oh but you guys would look so cute together
Nico: Oh, nah, nah.
Nico: We just-
Nico: We just friends so-
Mia: EW!
Nico: *excuse me!?!?!?*
Mia: NO!
Mia: HE’S LIKE MY BROTHER
Mia: HE IS SO UGLY
Mia: NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT
Mia: This filthy creature-
Mia: *like 50 more insults*
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Mia: We have been fighting for too long
Nico: True
Mia: Let’s just agree to apologize on the count of thee
Nico: Okay
Mia: One, two, three
Nico:
Mia:
Mia: See, now I’m just disappointed in both of us
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Piper: Going to plan B?
Annabeth: Technically this would be plan G
Frank: How many plans do we have? Is there, like, a plan M?
Annabeth: Yeah, but Percy dies in plan M
Mia: I like plan M
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Mia: This is homophobia
Nico: We’re both gay???
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Will: I am very disappointed in both of you
Will: Cigarettes really?
Mia: Now hang on those are old
Mia: Like 50 years old
Nico: The last time I smoked was with her promise
Will: How long ago was that?
Mia: Like 50 years ago
Will: Not helpful
Nico: Five years ago on Olympus
Mia: You ruin my fun
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Ingrid: I’m like 94% sass
Alexei: And the other 6%?
Ingrid: Glitter
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Percy: And remember one thing dear campers! Life goes on!
Mia: YEAH! THAT’S THE PROBLEM!
Percy: Somebody shut her up
Mia: That is sexist as fuck Percy. I expected better of you
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Leo: I don’t need my meds
Leo: I’m not depressed!
Leo: I’m a GENIUS
Piper: Sounds like bullshit
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