Chapter Text
2:25 pm is the time that's ticking on the clock that is in the therapy waiting area room, where Adrien is sitting in a chair to wait for his appointment with Dr. Psiquat.
Adrien has been seeing Dr. Psiquat who is a psychiatrist, that helps in assisting her patients to overcome their personal issues that they may have, for over three months.
Even it has been the one year mark of his father's passing, and even a year later Adrien misses his father.
Adrien has had so many.. different mixed emotions about his father–that he decided that he wanted to get some help to.. overcomer all these mixed emotions that he has. So that he can heal and move forward in his life.
In the last three months that Adrien has come to see Dr. Psiquat. She has helped him to try to talk through, heal, overcome some issues that he has felt for awhile. Regarding with how he feels about his father. Also about how he feels about what Ladybug told him when he was back in London last year.
Adrien can just feel that Ladybug wasn't telling him the full honest truth about what happened to his father.
Deep down inside Adrien wants to know more of what Ladybug is keeping from telling him.
Deep down inside Adrien also has a fear that maybe it is better to not want to know more about his father.
If he does know more about what happened to his father. It will break him in ways he can not come back from.
Because if he does learn more about what Ladybug is keeping from him-it might make him regret ever wanting to learn more-know more the truth of who his father really was in those last minutes of his life when he saved Paris and somehow became a hero.
That's another thing about his father that just doesn't add up.
How can the father that didn't want anything to do with him. Didn't ever told him once I love you. Didn't want him to be with the girl that he loves. End up being the same father that became Paris's hero that saved everyone from the evil Monarch?
Like how was that even possible?
It just doesn't make sense to Adrien.
And it doesn't add up!
No matter how long he thinks about it or try to come up with some wired idea of how his father has been portrayed to the world as this savior hero. Does it make Adrien think any different about his father. When Adrien just knows that his father was anything but a hero.
To him his father wasn't a hero.
He wasn't!
I want to know more about my father!
Adrien can't come to terms with that being who his father was in the last few minutes of his life.
His father was someone who controlled every aspect of his life. 24/27 hours of everyday.
Not only did his father control his life, he also tried to control who he fell in love with.
Controlled who he decided to date.
That for Adrien made him start to lose a bit of control that his father had on him.
When it came to dating Marinette he wasn't going to let his father take control of his love life.
Adrien's wasn't to stand for that!
No way!
Adrien for once stood his ground on his own two feet and stood up to his controlling father when he disrespected his girl Marinette.
Adrien didn't like going against his father, because he knew that if he did go against his father, he would be punished afterwards and be in the wrong.
Adrien didn't care for going against his father when it came to defending Marinette. Adrien was defending and sticking up for his Marinette, when his father talks bad about her or disrespects her in any way that he can or could. Going against his father makes Adrien turn into a different person. A defensive, defending, boyfriend. That's when Adrien really let's go a bit and not care if he will be punished for it later. As long as he is defending the girl he loves, nothing else matters. And that's what made his father angry with him. But he didn't care. Because all he cares about is his love for Marinette and being there to be the best supporting, loving, boyfriend that he can be towards her.
2:30 pm rolls around on the ticking clock on the wall in Dr. Psiquat waiting area. "Adrien Agreste." Dr. Psiquat calls her next patients name.
Adrien glances up towards the right side to see with his green eyes that the person that called his full name is Dr. Psiqaut herself.
Adrien stands up from the chair that he's sitting on and walks beside Dr. Psiqaut down towards where her office is at.
The office where he has had his personal private discussions with her over these last three months.
Dr. Psiqaut closes her office door, as Adrien takes a seat on the same comfortable green lounge chair that he has been sitting on every time he has come to see Dr. Psiqaut, when he has had an appointment with her for the last three months.
Dr. Psiquat walks over to take her seat on her same chair that she sits in when she talks with Adrien. "How have you been Adrien?" Dr. Psiquat asks her patient Adrien with a cheerful smile, on how he has been since she last saw him, and that was over five weeks ago.
Adrien nods his head, with a happy smile on how he feels right now. He feels good. "Good."
Dr. Psiquat is happy to hear that Adrien is doing good, since she last saw him five weeks ago.
"How has your girlfriend Marinette been doing?" Dr. Psiquat smiles asking a different question to her patient on how his girlfriend is doing.
Hearing his girlfriends name just brings a beautiful smile that lights up his face that Dr. Psiquat notices and likes to see on Adrien. It brings Dr. Psiquat joy to see one of her patient's with a happy smile.
"She's doing great. She's been helping me paint and decorate the new room that I moved into." Adrien's face lights up with a bright happy smile when he talks about his girl or when he thinks about his girl.
Dr. Psiquat nod her head as she listens to Adrien smiling as he talks about his girlfriend Marinette. "That's wonderful Adrien. I'm glad to hear that your making process with getting your new room all set up."
"Thanks Dr. Psiquat."
Dr. Psiquat lifts up her left leg and sets it down onto her right leg, in a crisscross legs position. Holds her tablet and white pen with both hands when she says to Adrien. "Alright Adrien, you ready for today's session?"
Adrien let's down a nervous gulp down his throat, before he replies back to Dr. Psiquat with a nervous voice. "Yes."
"Let's begin then." Dr. Psiquat simple says the three words that make Adrien's hands start to sweat.
In the three months that Adrien has been visiting Dr. Psiqaut he still acts nervous when he shares his personal feelings with her.
That for sure hasn't changed one bit, in the last three month since he has been making appointments to talk with her about anything he feels free to talk about with her.
Why does Adrien feel nervous when he's in Dr. Psiquat office to talk with her, is because well to Adrien Dr. Psiquat is a stranger. Although not so much now after he's been having back to back visits with Dr. Psiquat.
It's not easy for Adrien to be so open about his feelings or experiences that he had with his father to Dr. Psiquat when he first meet her.
When first meeting Dr. Psiquat he was scared of opening up to her about his father, because he doesn't know if Dr. Psiquat is a fan of her father.
If she is a fan then it would change the idea that Dr. Psiquat has of Gabriel Agreste.
Also to Adrien doesn't like to talk to a complete stranger about his feelings or his personal feelings at all with just anybody.
Adrien doesn't feel comfortable about talking to a stranger about anything to them. Weather it may be how he feels about his deceased father. Or how he feels that Ladybug isn't telling him everything about what happened with his father, like she's hiding something from him.
The only person he feels comfortable around to talk to or share how he is feeling.. is his sweet Marinette.
Marinette is such a very understanding person that you can tell anything to, and always knows the right words to say to make you feel better, then how you felt before when you first didn't feel good about sharing something personal
Adrien was happy to know that he can always rely on Marinette to go to share how he feels with whatever it may be that he is feeling or thinking.
Though the one thing he can't go to tell her is him being Cat Noir. Now that he can't share with her. But anything else besides his secret identity he can tell her
But if Adrien wants to get some closure and move on in his life, then he is going to have to open up more to Dr. Psiquat even if she is a stranger.
In the three months Adrien has had to learn to trust in Dr. Psiquat so he could confide to her about what he was willing to share with her.
If Adrien was willing to try to make an effort to talk to a therapist about how he feels about his father to help him heal from feeling such.. sadness, anger, towards him, then he must share everything.
In these last three months Dr. Psiquat has helped him in as what she likes to call it "healing through losing a loved one." which is of course his father.
Dr. Psiquat has also been giving him some helping tools to learn to use for himself.
Adrien has to learn to slowly come to terms with what happened to his father, and that's so hard for him to do, when he has so many unanswered questions about who his father really was at the end when he saved Paris.
Adrien has not yet come to terms with accepting that his own father was the man that everyone says he was or believes him to be. Adrien can't accept that. Not until he get's those unanswered questions answered.. from one person in particular.. and that one person in particular would be.. Ladybug herself.
Adrien knows who is father really was. A controlling father in his life. A controlling father who didn't want his only son to have freedom like everybody else his age. A father who never cared once to ask him about how his day went or about how was school. A father who never made free time to spend with him because all he cared about was his work more then his son.
Adrien refuses to believe what everyone else in Paris is believing, thinking, seeing, about his father. Refuses to believe that his father was this good person, who was this hero that saved Paris.
Adrien knows that right now he might not get those unanswered questions answered that he is seeking for so badly.
Adrien also has thought that he might not ever even get those questions he wants answered.
Let's just cross fingers that won't happen.
Dr. Psiquat voice is what makes Adrien come out of his thoughts and come back to the real world. "Now I know I said that the next time we have our next appointment that you would like to try and see if you could go and talk with Ladybug to ask her if there is more that she isn't telling you about your father.. Is that correct Adrien?"
"Yes that is correct." Adrien nods his head agreeing with what Dr. Psiquat is saying to him.
"Okay, so if you did go to see Ladybug.. let's just say for example this afternoon... what would you say to her or ask her about your father?"
Adrien already knows that answer to that question. He has so many questions he wants to ask Ladybug. But the one main question he really wants to ask Ladybug is... "I would like to ask her if she is holding back from telling me more there is to know to the story about my father.. when he did what he did.. before he left." Adrien's green eyes move downwards to stare at the floor, frowning in sadness when he said those last words, thinking about his father not being here anymore.
Dr. Psiquat can see how Adrien's happy smile went from happy to sad quick.
Dr. Psiquat doesn't like to see one of her patients being sad. In this case Adrien Agreste, being sad.
Dr. Psiquat can understand why Adrien's feels the way that he feels.
He lost his father... forever.
A father that he won't ever see again.
Any child would feel sad about losing someone that was in their life.
In this case with her patient Adrien it was different.
From all the appointments that she's had with Adrien in the last three months, he has opened up to revealed to her some emotional things that she wasn't expecting to hear him say about his father. Gabriel Agreste.
Dr. Psiquat isn't a fan of Gabriel Agreste–not like how other people are.
Dr. Psiquat had this idea about him that he was a hard working man who loved and cared about his son.
Dr. Psiquat thought that he was a good father to his son Adrien Agreste, but after hearing the way Gabriel Agreste was with his son, it broke her heart every time Adrien comes forward with new information about how his father was with him.. when he was alive.
"I understand your concerns Adrien. But have you every stopped to think that maybe Ladybug told you everything there is to know about what happed to your father when he made the wish." Dr. Psiquat tries to think positive of the idea that Adrien has in his head of thinking that Ladybug didn't tell him everything there is to know about his father. Gabriel Agreste.
"I have yes thought that.. but I have this gut feeling that Ladybug isn't telling me the full honest truth when it comes to my father.. I know I shouldn't want to ask more questions since I wasn't there when my father made the wish. I know I should move on and live my life the way I want to live it now that he's gone.. but I sometimes can't do that when I have this nagging feeling inside my head about what my father did.. it just doesn't sit right with me." Adrien lowers his head, and places both of his hands on his lap.
Dr. Psiqaut nods her head listening to what Adrien is sharing with her, while she writes down on her tablet with her white pen, everything that Adrien is saying to her about his father. "You know Adrien the mind can be a tricky thing sometimes when it comes to how we think about a person, about questions, or about anything that our minds come to think about that make us want answers to things we may never come to understand."
Adrien listens to what Dr. Psiquat is saying to him.
"Our minds can make us go into a dark place where we think the same thing over so many times–that once you continue to go down that path of thinking.. it will lead you to a place where there's no turning back, once you find out what you are looking for to those unanswered questions you have." Dr. Psiquat explains to Adrien that if he keeps going down the road of wanting to solve the unanswered questions of his father.
"I am already aware of that Dr. Psiquat... still I want to know what really happened to my father... If I do get my questions answered–I will make sure that I will be ready for when that day comes.. I will not fall into a dark place of no return." Adrien is making a promise to himself right now, that when he gets his unanswered questions answered–about his father–that he will not fall into a dark place where he feels depressed for knowing rhe absolute truth about his father.
"Sounds like your making that a promise for yourself Adrien."
"Yes I am." Adrien puts on a brave series smile at Dr. Psiquat.
Dr. Psiquat nods her head at Adrien, understanding that what he was saying to her was serious.
Dr. Psiquat lowers her eyes down onto her tablet, so she can see what she's writing down on the tablet, with her white pen. "I'm happy to hear that you are ready for the day when you get those unanswered questions you have Adrien."
"Thank you."
"Now I wanna move onto a different discussion about how does it make you feel when you hear someone talk about your father or see something about your father. Tell me a little bit about that for me please, if you are comfortable to want to share with me."
Adrien let's out a sigh. "I don't like to see everyone celebrate him as this picture perfect hero of Paris, when nobody in Paris really actually knew him personally. I am the only person who knows who he really was. How he acted. He was a cold, heartless, controlling father, that didn't want me to have any sort of freedom whatsoever. So I hate to see when I go out in public how people everywhere are praising him like as if he's some God–when he was no God. He was anything but that at all. If anything he was a terrible father, that never wanted to spend time with me, no matter how hard I wanted to spend time with him–he would always reject me. Every time I tried he would reject me. Oh and let's not even forget to mention the fact that he never wanted me to be with the girl I loved. Never wanted me, his son, to be happy. He just didn't like the fact that when he wasn't in control of me, he wasn't happy.. with me. So he did everything he could to... not make me be happy in my life." Adrien was finally really opening up to Dr. Psiquat, about his true real feelings about how he feels of his descend father.
Adrien was being very vulnerable with his emotions with Dr. Psiquat.
Adrien has been wanting to let this out into the air, for some time now.
Adrien feels like a big heavy weight has been lifted off of his shoulders and chest now that he's let out the words into the air his emotions on his descend father. It's what he has been holding inside him for the past three months.
Adrien feels some sense of release, as he breathes out air through his mouth that he has been holding in after saying all that personal information to Dr. Psiquat.
Adrien breathes in air through his nose and breathes the air back out through his mouth.
If it's one thing he's learned from his appointments with Dr. Psiquat is that he remembers what she told him on the second day he had his appointment with her was. "If you have something you feel you want to get off your chest, just remember and know that it is okay to let it out. You will feel so much better once you release it." and that is what he is doing right now. He is letting out how he feels on the inside with who is father was.. with him for his entire life.
Dr. Psiquat noticed that when Adrien was opening up-sharing with her how he feels what other people talk about his father, is that his hands were clenched together very tight. As if he is angry with his father. And angry with how other people may see his father.
Dr. Psiquat knows that this is Adrien really letting out his emotions with him opening up to her fully on how he views other people view his father, and how he views his father. Something he hasn't done yet in the last three months he has come to his sessions with her
Dr. Psiquat stays silent when Adrien takes a pause from speaking to close his eyes and takes a moment for himself to calm, because she can tell that he isn't done yet letting out what he needs to say.
Adrien reopens his green eyes once he has calmed himself down a bit from what he feels sharing such deep personal information.. and continues to speak... "I refuse to see my father the way everyone sees him... does that make me a bad son for thinking that way?" Adrien shares that he refuses to see his father the way other people see him.
When he said that personal confession Adrien had his eyebrows narrowed together-his lips were upside down showing that he was angry.
Now he has a sad frown on his face once he mentioned about if refusing to see his father like other people do makes him a bad son.
Adrien sharing this shocking confession to Dr. Psiquat about him refusing and can't see his father being this good person who the people claim he to be, has Dr. Psiquat wondering how such a kind, caring, generous, young boy end up having a father who didn't pay attention to him or make any time to spend with him.
This is how Dr. Psiquat sees the sad situation with Adrien and his deceased father.
Adrien has everything he could want in the world, everything down to money, fame, popularity, etc–you name it. Except the one thing that Adrien really wanted in this world more then anything... was his father's love and attention towards him.
And that's sad when Dr. Psiquat thinks about it like that. Just sad.
Here you have a young boy who is kind, good mannered, who just lost his father over a year ago. Heartbroken over his death. Learning to move forward in his life. Has all this pent up anger, frustration towards how his father treated him before he left this world. When all he wanted was his father to love him for him
It breaks Dr. Psiquat heart to see such a young boy–wanting nothing more then his father to love him and spent time with him.
Dr. Psiquat sets down her tablet and white pen on her table stand that is beside her chair, so she can get up and walk over to sit down next to Adrien to give him some comfort support, by placing her hand on his right shoulder blade. "No it does not make you a bad son Adrien. You did nothing wrong."
"Then why do I feel like I did wrong.. when I know I didn't do anything wrong. How do you explain that Dr. Psiquat?" Adrien asks Dr. Psiquat on how to explain feeling like he did something wrong, when at the same time he didn't do anything wrong.
Dr. Psiqaut is thinking on how to reply to Adrien's question that has her not knowing how to answer his question.
It takes Dr. Psiquat about forty seconds until she knows what to say to Adrien's question. "What you feel is completely normal Adrien. If you feel like you didn't do anything wrong, then you are allowed to feel that way. I can't begin to imagine how you feel of losing your father. Losing a father is never easy. Losing someone who has what you have told me in confidence was a father that didn't.. show you.. any love like how your mother would always show you that she loved you from again you sharing that with me in personal confidence, right?"
"Right." Adrien agrees with Dr. Psiquat.
"I don't know what is the right thing to say to you when it comes to if your in the wrong or not in the wrong.. but I will say this to you Adrien.. that whatever may have happened to your father just remember that it wasn't your fault for not being there to save his life. Your father was the one who made that choice to sacrifice himself in order to save everyone in the world from Monarch's evil plans. You need to learn to let go of the past of thinking that you did something wrong, when I know and I'm sure you know that you did nothing wrong. Okay."
Adrien doesn't agree with what Dr. Psiquat is saying to him right now of when she tells him that he needs to let go of thinking that he did wrong for not doing more to save his father.. before he made the wish.
Adrien let's out a sad sigh from his lips, not happy about hearing that he needs to let go of thinking he did something wrong with his father. "What if I can't let go? What if I continue to keep thinking this way of my father? I may never be able to let go of thinking that it was my fault that I wasn't there to save my father.. and that's what scares me.." Adrien shares with Dr. Psiqaut how he is scared of not letting go of how he feels about what happened with his father
Dr. Psiquat can understand why Adrien feels scared of not being able to let go of thinking that it was his fault that is father is not alive here today. It was normal to think and feel this way. Though with time that thinking process can change overtime. Slowly with time it can change. Dr. Psiquat has faith that Adrien will think and feel different on this idea of fault. "In due time I have faith that you will learn to let go of the past and heal from this Adrien. Have faith in yourself that you are capable of healing. It won't happen overnight. It'll take time. Trust me once you heal and not let it bother you the way I see how it bothers you now. You will feel so much better then how you feel right now." Dr. Psiquat is trying to change a negative comment into a positive comment.
Adrien gives a small smile up at Dr. Psiqaut for how her encouraging words are making him feel a bit better then how he felt a few minutes ago.
"I wanna try something new that I haven't done yet with my other patients. Of course if you are up for it."
"I'm up for whatever this new thing may be Dr. Psiquat." Adrien says with a positive attitude.
Dr. Psiquat gets up from sitting next to Adrien to walk over to her bookshelf to grab a book with the cover of a woman smiling, wearing normal clothes, holding a sign that says. Healing Your Emotions, Mind, Body, and Soul. "This is a book that I have enjoyed reading ever seen I was eighteen-years-old when I found out that I have anxiety. In the book it not only talks about how to learn to overcome having anxiety. It talks about learning to overcome anger and to heal from it. It also talks about how to overcome grief. The book was written by a therapist named Dr. Savanah Hady Lemme. She talks about how to deal with your emotions on a daily basis. How to let go of your emotions and so many other things that she talks about in her book to help. I am hoping that once you read her book, that it will help you to find.. some sense of relief in yourself–where to not think that you are in the wrong, about your father's death." Dr. Psiquat is showing Adrien a book called Healing Your Emotions, Mind, Body, and Soul. A book that Dr. Psiquat is holding in her hands about another therapist called Dr. Savanah Hady Lemme.
Dr. Psiqaut hands the book over to Adrien, which he grabs with his hands, and when he has the book in his hands, he stares at the front cover, wondering what could be inside this book that he has never heard of until now.
Dr. Psiqaut goes back to sitting down in her chair. Places her hands down onto her legs, interlacing her fingers together. "What I am doing new is that I am going to let my patients borrow this book from my office, to take home with them to read for four weeks. Only four weeks to read the book. After you finish reading the book you will bring the book back to me to see me, to share with me what they thought of what they read and to tell me if they found it helpful for them or not." Dr Psiquat explains to Adrien what this new method is going to start with her patients.
Adrien couldn't understand how a book was going to help him with learning to let go and heal from how he thinks of his dead father. "I don't see how a book is going to help me with my emotions Dr. Psiquat." Adrien was confused on how reading a book will help him with his emotions.
Dr. Psiquat smiles at Adrien saying with confidence. "Oh you'd be surprised by just how powerful a book can be Adrien." Dr. Psiquat tells Adrien with a smile how a book can be powerful.
"After I read the book... what is it supposed to do that will help me exactly?" Adrien wasn't quite sure how reading a book that is about dealing with emotions, could help him improve with his emotions.
"I thought you might ask that." Dr Psiquat gives Adrien a small smile, and continues to finish what she is going to say. "Well once you read the entire book, that is for you to find out how it made you feel. Or what you learned to take away from it."
Adrien's green eyes lower back down to stare at the front cover of the book in his hands, and he is even more confused then he was two minutes ago.
When Adrien stays quite, not saying anything, Dr Psiqaut speaks to try one more time to help him understanding what she is trying to explain to him. "Listen Adrien all I want you to do is read the book first, so you can get a sense of what you are dealing with right now, okay. Sometimes reading a book about how to.. better understand your emotions, can be very therapeutic in the healing process that you need to move on from feeling like it's your fault that you weren't there to save your father. It wasn't your fault Adrien. I want you to forget that thought that comes into your head. okay. Because the more you think about that thought that it's your fault, the more your mind will feed into that idea, making it grow into a bigger thought–that you won't be able to let go of in order for you to heal from. So that's what I want you to do this weekend is take time to sit down, relax your mind.. thoughts.. body.. and read Dr. Savanah Hady Lemme book. Let your mind relax and open up to what I call self-discovery. Then you can come back to see me when you are done with the book to let me know what you thought of it."
Adrien understands what Dr. Psiquat is explaining to him.
"Remember this healing process of yours takes time. Sometimes slowly and sometimes fast. Every person that I have talked with in my sessions about their own personal issues, have learned to heal in very different ways. It's okay to not always have your emotions all figured out in one day. It's okay to feel uncomfortable when not understanding what your emotions are going through. It's okay to not be okay." Dr. Psiqaut makes a statement to Adrien by saying to him that its okay to not be okay.
Just from hearing that last part about "it's okay to not be okay." made Adrien shed a tear from his right eye.
Adrien feels the single tear drop running down onto his right check.
Adrien lifts his right hand and wipes the single teardrop away from his right check.
Adrien now feels embarrassed that Dr. Psiquat saw him shed a tear.
Dr. Psiqaut hands Adrien a tissue box that she has next to her on her table stand.
Adrien sets the tissue box down onto his lap, rips one white tissue from the box, and blows his nose. "Thank you. And sorry that you saw me cry." Adrien apologizes for crying in front of Dr. Psiquat.
"Oh don't be sorry dear. It's perfectly normal to feel this way." Dr. Psiquat reassures Adrien that it's okay to cry and feel like crying.
Adrien rips another white tissue from the tissue box. But instead of bringing it up against his nose to blow his noise, he stares down at the white soft white tissue, and plays with the white tissue between his fingers. "I.. I.. I just wish I could have been there to save my father before he made the wish.. I wish I made the wish in his place." Adrien sheds a few more tears running down his cheeks, as he let's out how he feels right now to Dr. Psiquat about how he wished he could have made the wish instead of his father. When he tells Dr. Pisquat that, his voice is cracking with heartbreak in his words.
Dr. Psiquat has a sad frown on her face hearing how hurt Adrien is feeling inside-talking about his deceased father. She also feels her heart breaking for this boy who misses his father. The way Adrien speaks with such sadness in his voice about his father just heartbreaks her heart for him.
Adrien is starting to cry tears from both of his eyes when he express his emotions.
Dr. Psiquat stays silent when Adrien cries out tears.
Adrien is crying from his green eyes now, talking about his father with his voice cracking in sadness and heartbreaking, as he shares his sadnnes with Dr. Psiquat strutting through his words. "I-I know-w that-t m-m-y-y father n-never showed-d me m-muc-ch l-love like-e how I w-would have lik-ked him to-o.. but I loved him. I loved him e-even w-when he ne-ever s-said it back to me." Adrien sniffles through his noise with sad tears now dripping down his cheeks, crying of talking about his relationship he had with his deceased father. "I alw-ways-s t-thought tha-at he wo-ould change. Thoug-gh the m-more I h-hoped he would c-change.. he ne-ever did change. W-which make-e me s-sad inside. He was always cold, distance, far away from me as possible-that he never had in i-interested in a-anything I did in my life. The m-more he d-didn't want a-anything to do w-with me, the m-more I sa-aw that he never r-really cared about me.. at all." Adrien closes his green eyes when he finishes speaking how his father never showed him any love or attention. Tears continue to fall down from his sad green eyes.
Not wanting Dr. Psiqaut to see him cry Adrien covers his face with his hands.
Though it's to late to hide those sad tears when Dr. Psiquat has already seen the sad tears running down his sad face, when he expressed to her that his deceased father never showed his love towards him.
Hearing how Adrien was being so vulnerable with how his emotions about his father–it made Dr. Psiquat shed a single tear of her own, down her cheek.
It broke Dr. Psiquat heart to know how such a nice, young boy, could have had a father that never showed him any love towards him.
In the three months that Dr. Psiquat has known Adrien Agreste, she has come to learn that Adrien has a good heart. Good heart inside and outside.
At first she couldn't believe what she was hearing about his father, Gabriel Agreste. In the first few therapy sessions they had together. Couldn't believe it.
How Adrien would describe his deceased father being; rude towards him, controlling towards him, distant towards him, cold towards. Just so many things that he was describing that the way he was talking about his deceased father.. was as if he hated his father. Hated him for how he would narrate Adrien's life. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever think that the same man that was a fashion designer, who was adored by his fans, who also saved Paris, that made him became a hero for it, would be a not so good father to his son Adrien Agreste. Dr. Psiquat at first didn't want to believe what Adrien was telling her, in their first few therapy sessions. But the more Adrien had opened up to her-the more she could see in Adrien's face, how everything he was sharing with her about his father was true.
Adrien continues to cry through his hands covering his face.
Dr. Psiqaut lifts up her right hand to wipe away the tear that just dropped down onto her cheek and gets up from her chair she's sitting in–walks back over to where Adrien is sitting. Shits down beside him, and before she does what she wants to do, she asks Adrien. "With your permission dear, would you allow me to give you a hug?"
Adrien moves his hands away from covering his face that is now wet from crying out tears and around his green eyes have redness from crying out tears.
Adrien lifts his right arm upwards towards his runny nose to wipe away some of the liquid snot that's coming out of his nose from crying.
Adrien moves his green sad eyes to stare at Dr. Psiquat who is sitting down next to him on the right side of the green lounge chair.
Adrien is to sad to even speak, so he nods his head at Dr. Psiquat. Giving her permission to give him a hug.
Adrien needs a hug after crying out tears of sadness.
Dr. Psiquat leans forward with her arms open wide ready to give him a much needed hug.
Dr. Psiquat wraps her arms around Adrien to give him a nice, kind, caring, supporting hug.
Adrien accepts Dr. Psiquat hug back, as he wraps his arms around Dr. Psiquat.
Adrien feels so sad over still the loss of his father.
Having Dr. Psiquat hug him is making him feel a little bit not sad... even when inside Adrien feels sad.
This hug is what Adrien needs.
Dr. Psiquat breaks the hug she's giving Adrien to give him a soothing calm small rub on his back to try to calm him down. "You okay now?" Dr. Psiquat asks Adrien if he is okay.
Adrien let's out another sniffle from his nose. "Y-yeah.. I'm okay now.. thank you for the hug Dr. Psiquat.. I really needed that!" Adrien thanks Dr. Psiquat for the hug. It was what he needed.
"You're welcome dear. You don't have to be positive all the time you know Adrien. It's perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared and anxious. Having feelings doesn't make you a negative person. It makes you human." Dr. Psiquat reminds Adrien it is alright to cry.
"Can I tell you something Dr. Psiquat?" Adrien wants to tell Dr. Psiquat something.
"Of course dear."
"If I didn't have Marinette by my side to support me through all this.. I don't know how I would have been able to get through it by myself... if she wasn't with me." Adrien confess to Dr. Psiquat that if his girlfriend wasn't with him to give him support through dealing with losing his father. He doesn't know how he would be able to handle it all alone.. if Marinette wasn't there to support him the way that she has been doing with Adrien for the past year.
Dr. Psiquat smiles because she is happy to hear Adrien mentioning how his girlfriend has been supporting him over the lose of his father one year ago. "That's amazing that you have Marinette by your side with you in these difficult times of losing your father. Having someone to support is is a good help in your healing process. I hope you figuring out how to move on from his passing will heal all this.. sadness and frustration you felt towards him. It's important to have people around you, who love you to support you through anything you may be going through in your life."
Dr. Psiquat found it sweet how Adrien has such a lovely, caring, supporting girlfriend like Marinette by his side.
Dr. Psiquat doesn't know Marinette personally to say how she is as a person. But in the small interactions that she has had with Marinette. Dr. Psiquat can see that Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a nice girl with a beautiful personality and a good heart.
Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a good person for Adrien Agreste.
Dr. Psiquat could see whenever Marinette came with Adrien to his sessions that she always supported him. And it is what Adrien needs to feel like he isn't alone on his journey of self healing, self moving on, self acceptance from learning to let go of past traumas or present traumas that Adrien feels from how his father was with him.
Marinette is what Adrien needs to help move forward in his life.
Dr. Psiquat is glad that Adrien has a girl like Marinette.
Adrien is now thinking about what his Marinette is doing right now. Probably making an incredible new fashion design piece that she made herself. "I love her so much that I don't know how she can support someone like me." Adrien now thinks negative of himself, when he says that how could his girlfriend Marinette be with a person like him.
Dr. Psiquat was surprised to hear Adrien talk down about himself. Especially when he says about himself "someone like me."
Dr. Psiquat didn't like when Adrien said "someone like me."
The way he said it was like he thinks that he isn't worthy of being with Marinette who loves Adrien.
"What do you mean by someone like you Adrien?" Dr. Psiquat asks Adrien what he means by saying that about himself.
Adrien shrugs his shoulders with a sad frown on his face. "I don't know... I... I guess what I mean by it is that.. how can someone like Marinette who is so talented, smart, genouris, kind, caring, sweet, want to be with someone who always thinks down about himself."
"I see. Now tell me why do you think down about yourself Adrien?"
Adrien releases a tried sigh from his lips, tired of talking about everything that he shared today. Feeling tired from talking about his feelings today. Tried. All he wants to do now is just go home and be alone by himself-without having anybody ask him about how he feels. "I.. think down about myself because all my life my father let me down when he wasn't always there to support me.. when he should have.. I guess the reason why I think down about myself is because... I feel like I let people who are close to be.. down."
Dr. Psiquat nods her head understanding how Adrien feels about why he sees himself as down. "Again it is normal for you to feel what you feel inside and outside. But know that you shouldn't feel down about yourself over something that you did nothing to feel down. No. If anything it is your father to blame for not being there to give you support, love, comfort, time, when you needed it the most. I don't know if your father knew that that's what you wanted from him, love, time, support. Or if he could have realized that before it was to late to change it. Or if your father never did realize it. If he did realize it. That was his mistake that he would have to take to his grave. Knowing that he wasn't there for his son."
Plagg never liked seeing his best friend, his best ever holder of his ring miraculous, so sad.
With each day passing Plagg felt more guilty for lying to Adrien about what really happened to his father.
Keeping a dark secret from Adrien like his dead father being Monarch was eating away at Plagg from the inside out.
It made Plagg just want to shout it out so loud, so he doesn't have to continue to feel like a terrible kwami friend to Adrien.
Even if Plagg wants to tell Adrien so bad the truth about his father being a evil villain, he can't. He can't break the promise that he made with Marinette.
The way Plagg sees this sticky cheese situation going, is like how when he keeps a rotten old cheese for very very very long time, leaving it without eating it.
It's kinda like that.
Where Adrien is the old rotten cheese and as time goes on, this.. big lie that Plagg is holding onto grows bigger and bigger into a sticky cheese mess that he won't be able to.. unstick himself out off. By that time the old rotten cheese that has turned messy, will be to rotten that there won't be a way to recover the old stinky cheese.
Plagg watches with a sad frown on his black kwami mouth, his favorite holder of his black cat ring miraculous have his face stuffed into his pillow crying.
Plagg has had to watch Adrien during his happy moments. Happy moments that Plagg loves to see Adrien experience. Sadly those happy moments are not all that he has had to watch Adrien experience. Plagg has also had to watch Adrien go through sad moments, that break his heart. In all the years that Plagg has been alive in this universe, granting past holders amazing magical powers, gave Plagg such a joy to his heart. Seeing his holder that he has now, makes all the joy Plagg feels into saddnes. Having to watch Adrien. His best human friend. Go through being sad of losing his father. Who keep in mind doesn't know that was Monarch. Living under the same roof/house as the person who was fighting his own father as Cat Noir.
Plagg can't even begin to imagine how Adrien will react to the news of his father being Hawk Moth/Shadow Moth/Monarch, when Marinette breaks the truth to him.
Can't imagine.
Not to mention that whenever the day comes when Adrien will learn the full truth of who his father was. He'll come to realize that he cataclysmed his own father. Cataclysmed his father. Cataclysmed his father on his left arm.
Adrien will be devastated in knowing that information. That when he was Cat Noir h not only fought against his own father, but he also cataclysm his father.
When he comes to that realization he will never forgive himself.
Adrien will blame himself for the death of his own father.
It will make him go into a state of no return, where he will always blame himself for what he did when he used his cataclysm.
Also Adrien will be mad at Plagg for keeping knowing the truth the entire time about his father being a evil villain, that he'll never want to talk to him again. Or worse he'll renounce being Cat Noir.
Now that is something that Plagg does not want to see happen.
Right now as Plagg watches Adrien continue crying into his pillow, he doesn't want Adrien to be sad, but also he doesn't want Adrien to know the truth about his father.
If Plagg could have it his way, he wouldn't have Adrien find out, learn, or know about his father being Monarch.
Plagg would have Adrien never know that Monarch was his father. Gabriel Agreste.
That's when an idea came to Plagg.
An idea that he needs to take into action before something changes.
By change he means by if somehow miraculously accidentally Adrien learns the truth by someone that isn't his guardian.
Which Plagg highly doubts will not happen.
Not happen at all.. at least not anytime soon for that matter.
Only people who know about Gabriel Agreste being Monarch are Marinette, Natalie, Mrs. Tsurugi. Kagami, Felix, Sugar Cube, and him.
Plagg groans in annoyance from thinking so hard about the people who know the secret identity of Monarch. "Geez, now that I'm thinking about this it's made me have a headache.. and hungry for cheese." Plagg lifts his black small kwami hand, to place it on his black head.
Plagg now starts to think about eating cheese. "No, stop that Plagg. Focus!" Plagg shakes his head to stop thinking about cheese.
Plagg thinks back to what he was previously thinking about before his sweet love of cheese came to his black kwami head.
The idea that Plagg came up with inside his kwami black head is one that he will do his best to make it work.
First he needs to talk with her in order for his plan to work.
"I just hope she doesn't disagree with me!" Plagg says quietly to himself, so Adrien doesn't hear him.
Adrien continues to cry into his pillow-that is now soaking wet from all the crying he's done. "All I want to do is know more about my father... is that to much to ask." Adrien complains through his wet pillow, how he wants to know more about his father.