Chapter Text
“For homework, you must write an essay about a poet.” Keating announced, at the end of class. “It can be any poet of your choice, but you must also explain why you chose them.”
Then, the bell rang, signaling them all that class was over.
Later, when the poets reconvene for a study group, they discuss their assignment from Keating.
“We could always do Walt Wittman, I guess,” Charlie said from his place draped on the sofa-chair thing. “Keating mentions him so much, he’d love anything we write about Walt.”
“And what would your reason for choosing him be?” Knox glared down at Charlie from the armrest of the sofa-chair thing. When Charlie said nothing, Knox just went, “Exactly.”
“I could just say his poems were very…emotional and changed something in me,” Charlie argued.
“Yeah, because anybody would believe that,” Knox snorted.
Charlie pretended to be offended in a very dramatic way, making Todd giggle a little.
“Okay, okay, let’s focus on the assignment for now,” Meeks redirected.
“Yeah, I need to get it done soon. Not only that I haven’t even done my trig homework, yet!” fretted Pitts.
Cameron stared at him, concerned, “It’s due tomorrow!”
“Believe me, I know,” groaned Pitts.
Meeks comfortingly patted him on the back.
They all sat in silence for a moment before Neil cried, “Oh, I know! I could write about Todd!”
Todd just looked at Neil, shocked, “What?”
“It makes perfect sense,” rambled Neil, “You’re a poet, right? And I know you better than anyone so it would be accurate and you could read it over and tell me if it sounds like you.”
“Neil, it’s supposed to be about an actual poet.” Todd said, although he was smiling.
“What makes someone an ‘actual poet’?” Charlie asked. “Isn’t it just someone who writes poetry? And you do that so you’re a poet.”
“Yeah, I guess but-”
“Neil, you are a genius, I’m going to write about Todd too,” Knox commented.
Pitts sighed, “If you all are doing it then I’ll do it too.”
Todd still didn’t like that idea, “No, wait, what if Keating doesn’t think we did the assignment right and fails you all?”
“He wouldn’t do that,” Neil said, batting the idea away. “We’re his favorite students!”
The only one agreeing with Todd was Cameron, “Guys, Todd’s right, we might even get a demerit if he thinks we purposefully did the assignment wrong.”
“You really think Keating would do that?” Pitts questioned nervously. They all knew Pitts’ grades weren’t the best and he couldn’t afford to fail an assignment.
“No,” Charlie scoffed, “he would never.”
“Keating’s too nice for that,” Knox shrugged.
“But you never know,” warned Meeks.
Neil glared at him, “Who’s side are you on?”
“The side where my friends don’t get demerits that they could’ve avoided.”
“For the last time, he’s not gonna give us demerits!”
Meeks just shrugged. “Whatever you say.”
Neil just shut down after that and they studied in silence for a while.
“He does that often,” Todd thinks. “Whenever he feels frustrated he just stops talking.”
Todd knew that but he didn’t know how to make Neil feel better. He stared at the brunette, trying to figure out what he was thinking about. Todd couldn’t though, he wasn’t telepathic, so he just nudged Neil.
Neil turned to look to his right where Todd was, “Yeah?”
“Oh, ummmmm” Todd’s mind was blanking out. What was he going to say again? “I give you my permission to write an essay about me.” No, that’s not what he was going to say. How dare his mouth speak without consulting his brain first.
“At least smile,” he commanded his brain. His mouth smiled, thank goodness.
Neil smiled back, “Thank you, I was really worrying about that, you know.”
He didn’t say it in a rude, sarcastic way though, it was joking but it was kind. Todd liked that about him.
“Well, now you don’t have to,” the blonde replied, trying to keep the conversation going. It didn’t work though because Neil didn't say anything back. Todd didn't try to continue the conversation either, thinking Neil just needed some time in silence.
A little while later, when Todd was in the middle of struggling to write his paper on W.H. Auden, Neil got up and announced, “I’m going back to my room.”
Neil then looked at Todd, questioningly as though he was asking whether Todd wanted to stay or go back to their room with him.
Todd got up, and responded, “I’ll come too.”
Neil smiled, his eyes shining as though that was the decision he hoped Todd would make. “Okay.”
“Goodnight, you two,” Meeks said.
“Yeah,” “Goodnight,” “See you tomorrow,” grumbled everyone.
Todd smiled at their response, most of them still completely absorbed in whatever assignment they were trying to complete.
Neil walked in front of Todd, but just slightly, not enough that he couldn’t see Neil’s face though. They were still close enough that Todd could just move his hand slightly to the left and their fingers would be brushing. He didn’t do that, of course, but he could.
“So, have you finished trig homework yet?” Neil asked.
“Yeah,” Todd replied. “I still need to practice Latin though.”
“Oh!” Neil gasped, excited. “So do I! We can study together.” He held open their dorm door for the blonde as he walked in.
“Sure,” Todd answered.
They then proceeded to sit in silence for the next hour as they each separately finished their homework. Every now and then, one of them would ask a question and the other would answer. Then, they’d go back to silently working. Todd really liked that Neil was one of those people who could sit in silence without feeling the need to fill it with words. It annoyed him when others tried to make small talk about nothing. Which was ironic, actually, because when he had first met the poets, Todd was that kind of person. He still kind of is, but with Neil, the silence felt right.
When Neil finished his homework, he started running through lines for his audition, waiting for Todd to join him.
Todd took a slightly slower time than Neil to complete all his assignments. Neil thought it was because Todd was a perfectionist and not totally used to such a heavy workload. Todd thought it was because he was just really slow at finishing assignments. They were both partially right, not that either of them would see the other’s point.
Soon, when all of Todd’s due tomorrow important assignments were done (he would save the ones due later for later and regret it later) he joined Neil, helping him practice the play.
They ran through lines together and, honestly, Neil mostly had it down so it was more of an acting lesson for Todd.
“You already know all the lines, what do you need me for?” Todd complained.
“But it’s so much more fun when I’m practicing with you,” Neil argued. “And I need to say the lines out loud to actually be practicing.”
Todd rolled his eyes but he wasn’t too annoyed, he actually enjoyed this time with Neil, it felt like he could understand the allure of acting in moments like these. While Todd could never be an actor, these moments helped him understand and be in Neil's world, which Todd loved. Seeing the world from Neil's perspective was the most beautiful thing he ever had the joy to be privy to.
Neil, however, thought Todd was being serious and immediately felt bad. “I’m sorry, you can stop if you want to.”
“What?" Todd asked, confused. "No. I was just joking,”
Neil nodded, “Okay, if you say so.”
“Well I do, so.”
Silence engulfed them, this time awkward and heavy.
“Where were we again?” Todd asked, trying to fill up the air with something lighter.
“Oh, umm, right there,” the brunette reached over to point to a line on Todd’s copy of the play before pausing. “Todd, you're on the wrong page.”
“What? No I’m not?”
“Yeah you are, we’re still back here.” Neil flipped Todd’s book a page back.
Todd looked down at the page, confused, “Are you sure?”
He could've sworn they were on the page before. He was probably just nervous from... Never mind.
“Yeah,” Neil’s eyes raked over Todd, concerned. “Hey, are you okay? You seem kind of...off?”
"My father called yesterday," Todd thought, finally acknowledging it, "He called me just to scream at me."
“I’m fine,” Todd replied but Neil noticed how Todd looked away before replying.
The brunette hesitated for a moment before assuring, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
“Yeah, I know.” Todd still wouldn’t meet his eyes.
“Hey,” Neil said. The blond remained silent. “Hey, look at me.”
Todd tried to, he really did, but his eyes were now transfixed to a spot beside Neil’s head. Which was slightly better than the floor, in Todd’s opinion.
Neil, having to go to drastic measures, reached over and grabbed Todd’s chin, moving his head to meet Neil’s eyes.
Todd’s stomach flip-flopped, though he didn’t know why. It wasn’t even a flop really, it was this weird flutter-like thing that he felt in the bottom of his stomach and kind of in his throat? Todd couldn’t decide if he liked it or not; it made him feel giddy but that was never a good thing.
Before he could think about it too much, Neil dropped his hand like it burnt. The brunette’s hand was really warm so when he let go, Todd could feel the difference, like it was a physical thing. Partly because it was a physical thing, obviously, but also because…well, he didnt really know, but he could feel his whole body going cold again. It was odd and Todd didn’t enjoy the feeling very much.
They stared at each other, not knowing what to say.
Neil just stared into the other boy’s soul, trying to convey that it would be alright for Todd to tell him anything. Neil wasn’t sure if the point was getting across, though, because Todd was still silent.
After a little while, he spoke up. “Um, we should probably get back to practicing. I mean, um--”
Neil’s slightly disappointed look stopped Todd’s stuttering. He could see the feeling in the brunette’s eyes--could almost feel it like it was his own.
“I’m sorry…” he trailed off, not knowing what to say.
“It’s fine.” Neil answered. “Let’s just go back to rehearsing.”
Todd nodded and started reading the words on his paper.
“Maybe I should’ve told him.”
It’s fine, there’ll be later.
*****
The next day, Keating started grading all of the short essays made by his students. He chuckled as he read Dalton's essay about none other than Anderson. It was exactly the kind of thing that boy would do. The essay itself was incredible trash, but it was a joy reading.
Keating continued to make his way through the pile of assignments when he stumbled upon Pitts' essay. Again about Anderson. Keating laughed again, two of them doing the same thing, how insane that they'd have the same idea.
It was then that he found a third one by Overstreet and a fourth one written by Meeks.
Keating sighed, understanding that they had probably all planned this. He searched for Perry's essay, knowing that, it too, would be written about Anderson. He wasn't wrong, the whole thing was just praise, all about how great of a poet Todd Anderson is.
Smiling softly to himself, Keating wondered about who Anderson himself had written about. He mused, "Maybe he wrote about himself as well." and chuckled at the thought. The Anderson boy was not nearly self-confident nor self-centered enough to even think about doing that. He still, however, searched for the essay and found, to his greatest pleasure, that it was the best one he had read all day, by far. That boy truly was a poet.
As he started finishing up grading, he noticed that, a boy named Cameron had also, shockingly written about Anderson. It was incredibly formal and factual, but it was still about him.
Keating smiled to himself, at these young boys' courage and open-mind.
Slowly, he put all the papers back into a stack, humming gently; he had a brilliant idea for tomorrow's lesson and he was sure the poets would love it as well.