Chapter Text
Growing up in the countryside wasn’t the serene life that people made it out to be online – Brianne knew that first hand. Days were filled with more work than she ever would have thought was possible, something that was even more difficult at the beginning of the year when harvest season and school lined up. Of course, that horror replicated itself in the spring during planting season. Brianne thought she was one of the few people in the world who was most relaxed during the winter – there weren’t any crops to take care of then, just the animals, and though that was still a lot of work, she enjoyed it more.
She loved the farm, her brothers, her parents, her town. It didn’t matter that the nearest neighbors were almost two miles away or that her graduating class was going to be maybe fifty people, though that number was always up in the air since plenty of people left over the course of the year because their families needed them more than they needed a high school education.
Brianne didn’t want to fall down that path though. Her oldest brother had, dropping out at the end of his sophomore year as soon as he turned sixteen. The whole family had spoken about it, often over dinner, and they thought it was the best decision. Mason didn’t like school all that much anyway. Her next brother also dropped out – but he finished his sophomore year so he had that going for him.
It wasn’t that Brianne thought of them any less for their decision, she just knew it wasn’t the one she wanted to take. She was already a senior, second semester and all, and she was determined to make it through high school. If – no when she graduated she would be the first in her family to do so. Part of it was that she wanted to show to her younger brothers that they could do other things, that they didn’t have to follow along with what Mason and Dakota did.
Her parents were hesitant to back her up on that.
During dinner one night, her mother was awfully upset about this. “Why don’t you just keep those thoughts to yourself dear, you wouldn’t want to go spoiling the boys’ fun.”
The “fun” entailed her younger brothers being put in all sorts of dangerous situations around the farm – like the barn rafters and sticking their arms in tractors – because they were smaller than her older brothers or father. Brianne didn’t understand what was fun about any of that. It seemed like a horrific accident waiting to happen.
She poked her meatloaf. “I think they should be able to learn about all their options, Ma. What if one of them wanted to be a doctor or something?”
Her mother waved a hand. “Liam and Ashton don’t want to do all that, isn’t that right boys?” The younger two shook their heads frantically as they continued to steal bites off each other’s plates.
Brianne sighed. “They’re barely in middle school. I think they need a bit more time to think about what they’re going to do for the rest of their lives. You didn’t have everything sorted out at thirteen.”
Her mother pursed her lips. “Not quite, but I knew the farm would be passed down to me, and that’s all I truly needed.”
Her grandparents, God bless their souls, were evil people for that. Thankfully her parents had already been married by the time they passed, but Brianne couldn’t imagine what would have happened if her mother needed to deal with it all on her own. She assumed the woman would have sold it, that’s what Brianne would have done, but her mother had such a strong attachment to the land that Brianne didn’t think that would ever happen.
They made it through some rather harsh times, and her parents kept their hands fisted around the farm, gripping it with all their might even as weather problems, crop failure, and government issues tried to pull it away.
Why couldn’t they just let it go?
Brianne went out to go check on the cattle. She really didn’t need to, but the thought of being in that house with her parents at the moment made her skin crawl. At least the country had one thing: loads of open space to roam. There were times when Brianne spent hours upon hours outside, usually in the summer, just wandering around the land. It was flat, mostly barren, but there was a creek about a half mile east that she liked to sit by. So did the coyotes, but they never seemed to bother her.
She strolled across the bank of the creek before shucking off her shoes and dipping her toes into the chilly water. It was a welcome reprieve from the heat that set over the past week. Brianne wished she could be whisked away by the creek, transplanted to a different land where she wasn’t forced to live a life that didn’t call to her.
The creek was shallow enough that she could wade almost to the middle, the hems of her shorts growing damp. That was alright. She’d become accustomed to those sorts of sensations over the years – even wet denim couldn’t curb her.
She closed her eyes for a moment.
In her daydreams she was in Paris – the city one of her aunts moved to a few years back. Her family had stopped talking to the woman a month later, but Brianne kept in close contact with her, despite her parents’ negative talk. Though she knew the Seine wasn’t clear in the slightest, in her daydream it could be.
Brianne craved to live there. There was a great infectious disease program at the Paris City University that she had her eye on. Sure, she could apply in the States, but having the opportunity to study abroad? That was an opportunity she couldn’t turn her nose at.
After a life spent in the countryside, she desired a change of pace, and what better place than Paris – one of the world’s most famous cities. Her aunt could help her find her footing, maybe even let her stay at the woman’s place for a month or so. It was the perfect situation.
The only problem was her parents.
Brianne feared if she left they’d never allow her back – which wasn’t completely unfounded. Her aunt asked her dozens of times which would make her happier. If Brianne looked back when she was thirty would she regret not going to Paris?
When the situation was phrased like that, there was no doubt about it. She had to apply. The worst thing she could imagine was going to some American college, or God forbid not going to college at all, and thinking back about all she missed out on. So many experiences, so many new people – Brianne had grown up with the same set of fifty kids, she needed to branch out.
Brianne dipped her hands into the creek and splashed her face with cold water. Then, she took in a deep breath as she was ripped away from her daydream. There was no doubt if she brought the conversation to her parents that they would tell her to abandon it. The only real choice was to not tell them at all. Leaving her family behind without notice made her heart clench, but what other option did she really have?
***
Three months later, Brianne had an acceptance letter, a packed suitcase, and an envelope. Her aunt was back in Nebraska, staying at a motel a few miles away in town. The woman was already on her way to the house where she’d meet Brianne. They’d travel to the airport together.
The house was quiet as it was the dead of night. Every movement Brianne made felt like a clap of thunder. The letter in her hand appeared to glow in the moonlight. It was the only thing she would leave for her family, telling them where she went and why. She had to give them some sort of explanation. They weren’t bad people, they just weren’t her people.
Brianne stepped down the stairs, making sure to avoid all the creaky ones. There wasn’t a light on in the kitchen, so nobody had awoken for a late-night snack. She was alone. Strolling through the kitchen, she placed the letter on the table, right in the middle so nobody would be able to avoid it.
When her family woke up for breakfast the next morning they’d scramble for it – likely a fight between her younger brothers.
Brianne wiped a stray tear.
This was the right decision, the only decision. Brianne bit her lip. If she didn’t leave now she feared she’d never leave at all. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, no doubt her aunt telling her that she was parked outside.
Brianne pressed her fingers to her lips and then pressed them against the envelope. This was the best for all of them.