Chapter Text
"Get out, be quick. Now."
It had happened so quick that there was barely even any pain.
But he was shot. And within seconds, there was blood everywhere. And just like that, everything was unfair. Maybe, once in his life, he could've won.
...Could've won this time. With Silver by his side. It was all gone as if it was nothing. As if he had been considered worthless his whole life.
And the worst part was that he was never going to have the chance to see Silver ever again. He had left without a goodbye or anything at all.
Silver kept waiting. Despite the fact he was so disappointed, he waited. Until they told him and only him, because apparently "Belyanaz's family is unknown and out of reach". How? Why? Could one not care about the child they had brough to life or care so little? Did Atanas even experience the warmth of what is considered good family?
And was Silver even able to replace that warmth, even if it was different...?
That day, Silver could not stop himself from crying. The day they had told him. Which was only a few days after Atanas had been shot.
He re-read the letters Atanas hadn't send to him. The ones he considered as a "secret" and got nervous to send. Reading them until he was barely able to keep his eyes open. Crying hard until he was barely able to breathe. It hurt to know that he blamed Atanas for such things, thinking innocent things while being unaware he was dead now. Gone, so quick.
Silver held the necklace of Atanas, the one he wore no matter what.
"It's nothing, just dog tags. I like it enough to keep wearing it." Knight remembers those words. It's not nothing. Not to him, at least.
Silver can't bring himself to do anything no longer. It hurts. It's making him sick, being unable to guess his face already. He doesn't want to forget. He's scared to. He barely tries distracting himself.
He's aware it happened and that Atanas is now gone, just unable to take that in so casually. Maybe he doesn't want to. He cannot tell anymore. The few people around Silver are growing concerned for him at this point, and he can't say anything.
Day after day, Silver slowly gives up on doing anything if not sleeping other than the times he can't help but cry. It's getting worse, he can barely take it. It's unbearable.
He keeps wishing that when he wakes up, it all turns out to be a nightmare. He's always wished that he'd wake up next to Atanas, and he never got to experience that at all either. And when he's awake, scared, he hopes that Atanas hugs him. Telling him that it's all alright.
Silver stayed in their apartment. It feels alone. They never stayed in it if one was not with the other, after all. It would stay empty.
It was silent, more than usual.
Maybe it should stay empty forever. After all, they promised that they would one day always be in this apartment together.
The wind is calm, the sun making itself obvious. The weather is nice. The flowers are pretty.
Did it all have to be great like this after Atanas was gone?
Silver walked, slowly. He didn't pause, carrying his sword along with himself.
After a while, he finally stopped, looking at the empty field.
And slowly moves his sword up just fine enough until he can aim it on where his heart would be. It never had to be his heart, but he had always wanted to symbolize his love. One that he could never confess.
It does not matter. Not anymore, at least. He can't bring himself to care, no. He quickly pushes his sword forward. Forcing it. Deeper. It hurts before his grip loosens on the sword. His breathing slows down, his body going stiff before he collapses on the grass, bleeding out...