Chapter Text
“Park Jongseong, it’s been ages since I’ve seen you in flesh. Is being a chef that busy of a job that you couldn’t spare time for your dear aunt?”
Jay curses quietly as he recognises the voice, placing the half-finished glass of wine on the table, as he stands and turns around to flash a polite smile at his aunt, blinking a little at her too shiny red dress.
“Aunt Jennifer, I hope you have been well. You haven’t changed a bit since the last time I saw you.” Jay greets as he goes over to give her a light hug, welcoming her to sit beside him.
“But you’ve changed plenty it seems. I’ve heard you’ve got a new beau,” She says, straight to the point, looking over at the empty seat beside Jay and the glass of wine placed before it.
“I did, yeah. He just went away few moments ago because he had to make a phone call” Jay explains, sipping his drink lightly and praying for Sunghoon to come back soon.
Aunt Jennifer hums, as she crosses her legs gracefully and leans back to sit straight, as she asks, “And what does this boyfriend of yours do?”
“He is a fashion photographer, mostly does designer photoshoots and editorials,” Jay says, praying for her not to say anything bad about this because as much as Jay is used to it when it comes to his career choice, he knows he would lose all the politeness in a moment if it also extended to Sunghoon, and this night would then turn out to be ten times worse than the disaster Jay feared it would be.
“And is your relationship balanced?” She asks, her tone polite but Jay can see the nosiness shining through her sparkly eyeshadow.
Jay picks up the glass of wine beside him and sips quietly taking a moment to answer, bristling at the question because he knows what she’s asking. It was the same question she asked when two of his cousins announced their relationship and engagement respectively, the last time Jay saw his aunt at an event. Are both of your financial statuses similar? And Jay also knows the different answers he would get if he answered in negative. If Jay is the one earning more, the curiosity would shift to Sunghoon and Jay doesn’t want that but if Sunghoon’s the one earning more, Jay would have to sit and listen as she lectures him about the multiple ways in which having low income than your significant other can damage your relationship in the future.
“Sorry babe, the call went a bit longer than intended,” Sunghoon arrives just then and Jay momentarily forgets about the question as he cringes on instinct at the pet name.
Thankfully, his aunt seems to not have noticed Jay and also seems like she too forgot the million-dollar question as soon as she noticed Sunghoon.
“Hello, I’m Sunghoon. Jay’s boyfriend,” Sunghoon says as he offers his hand towards Aunt Jennifer to greet her, and Jay’s eyes jump up to the pink on his cheeks as he says it, the flush extending to his neck and Jay clears his throat as he turns to look at his aunt.
“Sunghoon-ah, remember aunt Jennifer I told you about, this is her,” Jay introduces her when his aunt didn’t introduce herself in return and only nodded as she shook Sunghoon’s hand, her curious and a little starstruck gaze still on Sunghoon.
“Of course, you told me she had a good eye for fashion and I can see how it’s true,” Sunghoon lies, as he puts on his charming smile on, the one he uses when he needs to be on the other person’s good graces.
“Oh, you’re sweet. And Jongseong has never said that to me before,” His aunt says, turning her eyes towards Jay momentarily.
“I think he might have been a little intimidated to say it to you because Jay knew you since he was a child, before he had even an idea of the word fashion,”
“He has always been a good child,” Aunt Jennifer says, and Jay feels so thrown off because the last time Jay remembers her complimenting was when Jay was twelve and he held a hand fan over her face for nearly two hours because she was sick from a heat wave.
And Jay just sat there, his eyes flickering between the two of them as Sunghoon continued to charm her, a feat that continued through out the night with all of his family.
“I’ve heard Jay’s work hours are too long. And if you’re a photographer, yours don’t seem too flexible, how are you managing time for your relationship?” Jay’s another aunt, this time from his mother’s side, asks Sunghoon like she’s their couple’s therapist.
“I think if your relationship truly matters to you, and if you love each other enough, you can manage anything,” Sunghoon gives a very diplomatic yet romantic non answer, pulling Jay to his side and his aunt’s face looks put out by the answer but she stays silent.
“Well, Our Jay here finally seemed to find someone willing to put up with him,” His cousin, only two years older than Jay, says as her eyes fall on Sunghoon.
“And he seems a bit out of Jay’s league, doesn’t he?” Her evil twin brother, adds, his eyes scanning over Sunghoon. Jay’s irritation peaks at that but Sunghoon speaks first before Jay can lose his cool.
“Funny you say that when I’ve been love with him for years before he reciprocated my feelings,” Sunghoon says, changing the story that they made up which consisted of both of them secretly being in love with each other but staying silent to protect their friendship until a drunken night led to them opening up about it and getting together. Jay who’s holding Sunghoon’s waist, pokes him in warning for changing the story. But Sunghoon only turns to him and kisses him on the cheek.
“Jay has always been like that, full of passion, but for the wrong things. He had so much potential to use his capable mind to expand the company and make it more profitable but lost it all to cooking in the kitchen,” Oh lord. If Jay bought a real date here instead, he is sure they’d break up with him by the end of the night after listening to all this.
“Well, what can you do when you’re multi-talented. This capitalistic world is not deserving of Jay and his talents if it restricts his interest and calls it wrong,” Sunghoon says with a cutting smile.
“Capitalism doesn’t deserve him but he sure did enjoy it’s benefits when he was born with a silver spoon,” His uncle turns his displeased eyes to Jay. Jay turns his eyes to the drink in his hand as he drinks the whole glass in one shot and stays silent trying to ignore the harsh truth of the statement. But Sunghoon doesn’t.
“If you have any problems with how Jay grew up, you can take it up with his parents. I’m sure they’d appreciate how much you care about their son’s future,” Sunghoon is too deep in his role of Jay’s boyfriend as he keeps defending him, offended on Jay’s behalf and Jay feels a bit light headed with the warmth and affection he feels for his friend. As much as he is annoying, he’s very protective when it comes to his friends, especially Jay.
Jay grabs another glass to drink when his uncle starts muttering about young people and their immaturity, placing the empty glass on the table and slumping on Sunghoon as his uncle finally goes away from them.
“Are you alright?” Sunghoon asks in a soft voice, adjusting a little to let Jay lean on him more freely.
Jay hides his face in the younger’s shoulder. “You’re too good at this,”
“What? Being rude to people?”
Jay frowns at that. “You’re not rude. And I meant the defending me part. You didn’t have to do that,”
Sunghoon hits him on the shoulder. “You’re my friend, you idiot. Of course I’ll defend you. But also wow now I understand why you were so worried about this. It feels a bit like you’re on a reality TV with how much interested and judgemental they are about your life,”
“Yeah, but having you here helped a lot. It wasn’t as bad as I feared at all,”
“I think you just needed someone at your corner and it’s not that difficult for me to retort when they’re being annoying because I don’t have any emotional connection with them and so I can be rational easily. But you grew up around them and it’s difficult for you to not to take their words to heart,”
He is so understanding and Jay feels so thankful that his younger self annoyed a younger Sunghoon into becoming his friend. Even if Sunghoon became hundred times more annoying once they grew close.
“Still, sorry you had to put up with them because of me,” Jay mumbles into his shoulder.
“Jongsaeng, I will push you off of me if you don’t stop being stupid. It’s not your fault and you know this. Besides I met some cool people from your family too. Your cousin Yunjin even invited us on a double date with her girlfriend to get to know me more,”
“Yunjin is a sweetheart,” Jay says absently, nuzzling into Sunghoon’s shoulder.
“You’re very clingy today. You didn’t drink too much, did you?”
“No, I’m just a bit light headed but all my senses are super intact,”
“Super intact but I don’t think you’ve realised yet that you’ve been drawing non sensical drawings on my hand,” And Jay raises his head from Sunghoon’s shoulder as he recognises that yes, he is doing that. He removes his hand immediately, feeling self-conscious but Sunghoon grabs it back as he laughs.
Jay couldn’t help but glance at his face. Sunghoon’s face is already too beautiful on a normal scale but his face positively glows when he laughs out loud, especially if it is at Jay’s expense. He turns away when once again, as the need to get away from all these people and to have Sunghoon all to himself, creeps up into his mind.
He idly scans the dinner hall, trying to be rational. A jersey signed by BTS Jungkook and a ticket to a 10-minute personal meet and greet with him after a concert, is the deal that’s getting auctioned at this moment. Jay has no idea who from his father’s company had that big of a connection but he wonders if he should maybe find out and try and get some of his albums signed to gift them to Jungwon.
“Jungwon would love that,” Jay says and when he gets no reply, he turns to look at Sunghoon, who is already looking at him but he looks away immediately when Jay looks at him.
“Ha, yes, he would,” Sunghoon replies, pointedly looking away from Jay.
“Are you alright?”
Sunghoon clears his throat as he glances back at Jay. “Yeah,”
“Do you think we can go out from this room for few minutes?” Sunghoon asks after a moment, looking down at the table and fidgeting with the tablecloth.
Well, Jay wants that too. He looks at the door only a few feet away from their table. The only door they can go through with getting noticed by only three to four people. Jay says as he points it out to Sunghoon.
There are dining tables filled with people and a catering service on one corner of the room. This is not the alone space Jay wanted it to be. He scans the room to find another door to exit through but before he could do that, Aunt Jennifer finds them.
“Sunghoon, Jongseong, I hope you are here for dinner. You both look exhausted already. People these days get tired easily and are too stubborn to listen to their elders,” She says with her eyes narrowed at them.
“You’re too caring to us and making me miss my mother, Aunt Jennifer. And we are here for dinner but I have to make a call before that and do you know somewhere that’s a bit more quiet for it?” Sunghoon asks her sweetly.
“Of course, dear, there’s an empty room with all the furniture in the upper floor where you can talk freely,” She smiles as she points them towards the exit door.
“Thank you, you’re the best,” Sunghoon smiles as he waves at her and Jay is still not too sure how they became such good friends.
“I know I told you to be charming but you did it too well with her. I fear she’s gonna turn evil villain on me when I announce our break up,” Jay says settling on the large empty couch at the corner of the room, shrugging his blazer off, placing it carefully on the coat hanger near the door. Sunghoon turns the air conditioner on, and switches off half of the lights on their side, dimming the room but Jay needed this after all the bright lighting of the past few hours.
“You’re the worst boyfriend ever, oh my god. Always talking about us breaking up,” Sunghoon complains as he sits beside Jay, spreading his arms, leaning them on the edge of the couch and throwing his head back.
“And if you’re so worried, you can tell her that I was the one that left you,” he continues.
“If I do that, she’ll scold me saying I hadn’t been a good boyfriend to you and if I tell her that it was me breaking up with you, she’ll call me stupid for letting you go. I can’t win either way,” Jay knows her well enough to expect her reaction but yet he never was able to charm her like Sunghoon did in just few minutes.
“I can’t help you there. I can’t help that I’m so likable,” Jay hits him on the knee, hard, and Sunghoon groans loudly but stays silent as he leans his head on Jay’s shoulder, his cheek touching Jay’s skin.
“Did your exes ever get jealous because of it?” Jay asks, suddenly curious.
“What? Because I’m so likable?”
Jay hits him again. “I’m serious. I didn’t really think about it before but almost everyone that met you today complimented your handsome face and good proportions. And I remember when Ni-ki refused to let you visit him at his uni because most of his friends had a crush on you,”
“Well, I can say the same to you. Sunoo doesn’t let you visit him at work too much because two of his colleagues got a crush on you and you even went on a date with one of them,”
“It was only one date and it didn’t go well,” Jay reminds him, “And you’re not answering the question,”
Sunghoon huffs at that, his warm breath hitting Jay’s bare arm. “I mean they used to sometimes, but I usually clarify immediately that they were the only one I wanted to be with and that they have no reason to get jealous,”
Jay is supposed to be his boyfriend today but he didn’t really get jealous about it. “I didn’t really get jealous about it. I just feel happy in general when people like you as they realise that you’re also kind, sweet and funny, aside from being gorgeous,” Jay says sincerely, too openly complimenting Sunghoon in a way he doesn’t do often.
Sunghoon sighs loudly, “You’re too nice, Jongsaeng, and too sweet. They’re going to eat you.”
Jay ignores him as he mulls over the evening, and realises that he and Sunghoon didn’t really behave different from how they usually are except for hand holding and few cheek kisses. They didn’t even kiss properly in front of people.
“Do you think everyone believed us today?” Jay asks, worried.
“Of course. Are you worried about it? Did anyone say anything?” Sunghoon raises his head to look at Jay.
“No, no. I was just curious because we didn’t really act too ‘boyfriendy’ did we?” Jay says, eyes instinctually focusing on Sunghoon’s lips when he keeps biting them.
“I mean I suppose but me and Jake didn’t do anything different too. But I think we got drunk and made out a few times before and it might have helped with the chemistry. And you and I kissed a bit before too,”
“We kissed thrice. One yesterday,” Jay says, his voice quiet, mind busy remembering each kiss and all the different feelings they made him feel but one constant being the little light ball of happiness in his chest, filling him with warmth and constant thoughts of Sunghoon.
“Yeah,” Sunghoon agrees, looking at Jay’s eyes and then his lips.
“Do you wanna make out with me?” Jay asks, again unfiltered, begging in his mind for Sunghoon to yes.
“What? Now?” Sunghoon questions, shocked.
“You made out with Jake,” Jay almost whines, looking away, embarrassment piling up in him because of his own request.
“He’s my best friend,” Sunghoon explains weakly but he’s only bringing Jay down.
Jay only folds his hands at that, feeling petulant and his pride objecting, at the rejection. “And I’m the guy you only met yesterday,” He says but his voice comes out weak. And his body feels jittery all of a sudden.
“You’re different,” Sunghoon says softly, turning towards Jay but his voice sounds like he’s displeased about the fact that Jay is different.
Whatever, Jay’s mind is already too busy right now, feeling too heartbroken over something so simple. It isn’t really a big deal. It doesn’t matter if Sunghoon doesn’t want to kiss him. Jay feels the same. A big fucking lie, but Jay is not about to go down on this road now. It’s only Sunghoon. Park Sunghoon. Just a guy that exists in Jay’s life. Like multiple people do. He’s not special. It shouldn’t be that big-
Sunghoon turns Jay towards him, looking determined, his brows furrowed, looking over at Jay.
“What?” Jay asks, looking away. He’s just Sunghoon. The guy who enjoys irritating Jay like it’s one of his life’s big missions. The guy Jay doesn’t like because he’s so annoying. Just a guy-
“I’m going to kill you if you push me away now,” Sunghoon says, and Jay wants to ask as to what the hell is he talking about but then Sunghoon leans over slowly, one hand moving to hold Jay’s jaw, and the other gently holding his neck. Jay’s hands, instinctually gravitate to Sunghoon’s waist in return.
His lips touch Jay’s only for a few seconds before moving away immediately and before Jay can protest or chase them back, Sunghoon tilts Jay’s head backwards, exposing his neck as he leans over to press a kiss there and the glowing ball of happiness in Jay’s chest jumps as he realises that Sunghoon is kissing the heart shaped mole on his neck. Jay jolts a little when the younger nips at it, and he searches for any ounce of control he might have left in him, as he reminds Sunghoon, “No marks, remember,” He’s able to utter, voice breathless, the only self-control left in him now used up.
“You’re wearing a collared coat,” Sunghoon whines into his neck, a breathless, “Please,” added and Jay’s restraint slips completely, as he lets out a quiet permission. Sunghoon presses few kisses first, before nipping at his skin and licking over it, repeating it until he’s satisfied, and Jay’s whole mind is overwhelmed with senses full of Sunghoon, as he sinks into the couch.
When Sunghoon moves back to look at Jay, his smile is bright, his lips shiny, and Jay steals a kiss, and then presses a kiss each on Sunghoon’s moles, habit by now.
“I left the hickey just beside your heart-shaped mole. You, know like please keep me close to your heart. Cute, isn’t it?”
“Adorable,” Jay agrees, pulling Sunghoon towards him, feeling like his heart might burst with the fondness and affection he’s feeling. He leans in to kiss the younger’s lips but at the last moment, moves to kiss his cheek instead as Jay is suddenly filled with the fear that, if he kisses him again, he might never come back from this. He might never recover from Park Sunghoon. He will be doomed for the rest of his life. Because Sunghoon was never just a guy in Jay’s life. How could he be when he holds Jay’s heart in the palm of his hands? And Jay has only realised it just in this moment but it’s been true since forever, Sunghoon had always had Jay’s heart with him, and he always treated it with care and love and with a softness Jay realizes is also strong enough to break it. And he doesn’t even know that he has it. And it’s far too easy to accept the truth because it’s Sunghoon. It’s a privilege to love Sunghoon, to be in love with him, and Jay’s world narrows down to this single truth, to Sunghoon’s hand on his heart, to the breath of air between their lips, and Jay crosses the barrier and accepts it, welcomes it, even after knowing that the hand holding the heart can also unknowingly crush it, Jay kisses him because he already is doomed.
Sunghoon is kissing him when he pauses, leaning back, eyes full of concern. “Jay, you’re crying,” He says voice soft, hand moving to wipe his tears away and kiss his cheek and Jay laughs because the last few moments felt like a lifetime.
“What’s wrong?” Sunghoon asks and Jay looks at him, his brows furrowed with worry, eyes filled with concern, the most beautiful person to ever exist.
“I’m exhausted and sleepy. Hoon, Let’s just go home,” Jay pleads and Sunghoon looks at his watch.
“It’s gonna be over soon and we can skip the afterparty and go home if you want but I think we need to say goodbye to your parents first,”
Jay groans, just wanting to sleep immediately. You know, the actual love of his life.