Chapter Text
Grass tore under Digital’s cleats as she ran. A part of her felt guilty for even having to break the turf like that. Sully the perfect tracks with her presence, like a single trail of treads in an otherwise perfect blanket of snow. As if she had any right to follow the path of her oshis like this, to run the same tracks as them, to occupy the training facilities they had to use too.
But! She couldn’t think like that anymore! Couldn’t afford to! Wasn’t allowed to! Not if she wanted to gain true understanding! Of the effort, the blood, sweat, and tears paid by those who took on the greatest challenges for any racer!
So she ran, tracing her own steps from her previous laps, even if it hurt to see the dirt underneath the turf, brought to light by her own selfishness. It was simply something she had to learn to live with.
Sometimes she still saw that girl from the Hyacinth Stakes before her. Crying. Maybe if Digital hadn’t been there, the race would have gone differently for her. A different path might have opened up for her. She could have placed higher.
But Digital had been there. Had placed third, even. She had received congratulations and words of: “You’ll win the next one for sure!” from classmates. Fukukitaru and Doto had greeted her cheerfully at the office and promised to work together to find an even luckier item for her before the next race.
Digital wasn’t sure she would have been able to forgive herself if she had won, now that she had realised her complete lack of resolve. Even now she hadn’t forgiven herself completely, but she didn’t get a moment to rest, to linger on her guilt. Todou made sure of that.
When she had come to her trainer after the race, asking to run in a G1, Todou hadn’t looked surprised in the slightest. Hadn’t even thought about it, just replied with “NHK Mile.” Like she had planned it from the start. Maybe— no, she definitely had. If Digital hadn’t brought it up herself, she probably would have suggested the race herself, sooner than later.
Though without her realisation, she couldn’t imagine herself agreeing. Like, lil’ ol’ Digitan, running in a G1? That’s just preposterous! Arrogant! To ever think herself good enough, worthy of such an honour—
Then again, Todou was good at phrasing things to make it easier to agree. Something like, if Digital found herself unworthy, what about every other uma that has never run in a G1? Are they also unworthy of it?
Oh, now there was the Todou in her mind doing it, too.
Her trainer was good at that. At framing these things, putting them into new perspectives. Never letting Digital retreat, always nudging her forward. Digital wasn’t naive, these things didn’t go over her head, but… it was hard to resist when one was offered an easy reason to do something you otherwise couldn’t allow yourself—
A sharp trill interrupted Digital’s musings. Her ears perked up, receiving Todou’s signal to finish her run. There was still energy left in her, she could still keep going, but Todou was as strict about rest as she was about every other part of training. She’d be furious if she thought that Digital was overworking herself, so Digital gradually and dutifully slowed down her pace.
Once she slowed down enough that she could look anywhere that wasn’t strictly ahead without risking a missed step and a bad fall, she glanced over to where her trainer stood. Immediately, she stumbled and almost lost her balance, barely managing to catch herself in time to prevent disaster.
Lucky for her, out of the three – three!!! – figures gathered by the railing, only her trainer had been looking at her mishap.
Dober and Opera O had been too distracted by whatever discussion they were having to notice her, which she was deeply grateful for. She wouldn’t want to look like a fool in front of some of her top oshis! What if she made them worry about her if they saw!!! Focus, Digitan!!
But then again how could she possibly focus!! TM Opera O and Mejiro Dober were talking!! This was unprecedented!! Under normal circumstances, they would never have a reason to interact with each other!! So why were they here, talking?! Ohhhh, Digital had to know but she also didn’t want to be super nosy about it, but this was so unusual, how could she not speculate even a little bit?!
Oh, goddesses, Dober wasn’t telling her about the art, was she?! No, no, Dober wouldn’t do that to her, Dober was far too kind to do something like that, ever, and she was an artist too, she would understand how Digital feels! So that certainly couldn’t be it. So what other reason could bring these two together here at the track?
She finally reached the railing, stopping in front of Todou, though she couldn’t help a few curious glances at the two umas. They were both looking at her now. Opera O with her usual confident smile and Dober with- a frown. Arms crossed in front of her. Almost glaring. At Digital, she realized with a nervous twitch.
Her attention quickly focused back on Todou. Maybe- That was a bridge she could cross in a moment, she had to focus on her training still after all, yes, she could figure out why Dober might be upset with her as soon as that was done.
Todou didn’t even acknowledge the two girls next to her, though when she met Digital’s gaze, there was a gleam of something in her eyes. If Digital had to guess, it was something akin to schadenfreude, which did very little to reassure her.
“Good run, Digital. There’s a few things to go over, but we can do that later in the office.” She finally spared a glance to the two waiting umas. “I believe you have some business to attend to, after your cool down?” Her voice was tinged with amusement, the corners of her eyes crinkling.
After the most excruciating cool down stretches of Digital’s short life, she finally trotted over to the three people who had started talking casually again, though they quieted when she approached.
Dober was still frowning.
“U-um, I’m sorry it took so long! Can I help you two…?”
“I saw you training, so I wanted to come by and watch for a bit. Opera O came by a bit after,” Dober started, her lilac gaze making Digital squirm. “We got to chatting a bit, and she mentioned that you were going to run in the NHK Mile Cup soon?”
“O-oh, yeah! We’ve been training for it since the Hyacinth Stakes!”
With arms crossed in front of her chest, Dober glowered at her. “It would have been nice to hear that from you yourself, Digital.”
Digital tensed, shrinking down and away from Dober’s sharp gaze. Oops. She’d never really… thought to actually tell Dober. Or anyone. After all, who really wanted to watch Digital run? When there were so many cute umas to cheer on??? How could she possibly take away from that?! And maybe Dober had asked her to tell her about her races and maybe she had said she wanted to watch them, but it was hard to wrap her head around the idea of anyone actually wanting to watch her races.
Before she got a chance to explain herself, they were both interrupted by boisterous laughter.
“Why yes, Digital is indeed a sly one! Trying to conceal her tracks from potential opponents, very clever! Alas, nothing ever escapes the Overlord, for I have eyes and ears across the land! No rival shall escape my notice!”
“She asked me about the next race, so I told her,” Rena chimed in. Opera O nodded proudly.
Dober turned her frown on Todou, who met her eyes easily. “I could have told you, too, of course, but I consider it Digital’s own responsibility to inform her friends of her races.” She spared a glance at Digital, and there was still that something in her eyes before she looked back at Dober. “Also, you didn’t ask me,” she finished with a shrug.
Dober’s ears pinned back for a brief moment, though she relaxed them just as quickly.
“I… suppose I could have done that,” she conceded, though no less annoyed. She turned back on Digital, who shrank back down under her attention. “Still, I wish you had told me. It’s your first G1, I want to cheer you on…” Her voice landed in sulky more than angry by the end, and she looked away, ears drooping.
Which looked really, really cute, but Digital could also really, really not afford to focus on that right now, because she made Dober sad, and that was an unforgivable crime for a simp.
“I’m really sorry, Dober! I wasn’t trying to hide it or anything!” She said sheepishly. “I didn’t even… think to tell anyone. I was so focused on just training for it, and, well, I guess it slipped my mind that you, or anyone might want to know?”
Her fingers tapped against each other nervously, and a part of her really wanted to hide and never face Dober again to atone for her sins, but she forced herself to meet her eyes instead. Hiding from her mistakes was worse than making them in the first place.
Dober stared down at her for a few excruciating seconds with an unreadable look on her face, before her expression slowly softened.
“Alright, I know you didn’t mean anything by it, Digital,” she finally relented. “But you better tell me next time, or else!” Her brows furrowed again for a moment, and Digital gave a reflexive salute.
“Y-yes! I promise I’ll tell you next time!!”
Dober giggled softly at her display. Next to them, Todou looked thoughtful for a moment before she looked at Digital inquisitively. “Digital, you did remember to tell your family though, right?”
A long moment of silence followed.
“I… might have to make some calls later.” Digital muttered under her breath.
“Digital…” Todou sighed, a rare moment of exasperation.
“It’s fine, there’s still plenty of time!! I’ll tell them later, I promise!!”
Her trainer rubbed her hand against her forehead, but said nothing else. Instead, she used the hand that wasn’t fighting her oncoming headache and gestured at the still present Overlord (who had been remarkably quiet this whole time).
“Right. Opera O, you were here for Digital too, weren’t you?”
“Indeed I am!” Opera O exclaimed as she stepped forward, one arm stretched out dramatically. “Digital! My most loyal subject! I have come to inquire about the progress of your video editing! I am curious to see your finished work of showing of mine and Tracen Academy’s magnificence!”
Nervousness momentarily forgotten, Digital perked up. “Oh! I’m almost done, I promise!! And thank you so much, again, for helping me with the filming!” She clasped her hands together like a prayer and bowed briefly. “It never would have turned out as well without you!!”
“You’re making a video?” Dober asked curiously.
“Yes! A promotion for Tracen Academy!!” Digital’s tail wagged in excitement. “I asked Opera O to help with the material, since I wanted to show the school off in the best way, and who better to elevate it than the TM Opera O!!”
“Hahahaha! The stage calls for me, and I shall never refuse it!”
“It did turn out quite well,” Todou said nonchalantly. “I have to say, my favourite scene is the one where you hold Digital in your arms.”
“Mhm! The drama of it all is delicious, is it not? A tender moment between rivals, I think we captured the feeling of it quite well. Digital did an excellent job as my partner.”
The noise that escaped Digital was as close to a verbal keysmash as anyone had ever gotten. Her face was bright red, tail lashing behind her. Dober had turned to her, the previous frown entirely erased by an expression of surprise.
“T-that’s! C-context! It was just for the video!” Digital cried out. “Normally I would never get that close to an uma musume, but it was Opera O’s script, and we had to follow it perfectly of course!”
“You can’t even tell she wasn’t conscious for a few seconds,” Todou added unhelpfully. “It’s great. You’ll see it once the video’s done.”
“Right!” Digital immediately perked up at the chance to change the topic. “I’m really sorry I’m not done yet, too. I probably would be, but I’ve been reorganizing my room to make some more space,” she said sheepishly. “I’ll probably have to send some of it home, but it’s so hard to decide what to part with…” Her ears drooped as she spoke.
“I told you, you can leave some of your stuff with me.” Todou sighed. ”I got plenty of space at my place, and it’s not gonna get used for anything else.”
“No!” Digital whirled on her trainer with more force than anyone present had ever witnessed from the small girl. She herself might have been surprised at herself had she not been so distracted.
“I know you’re just gonna leave it all in their boxes! But that merch deserves to be displayed, all of it!” Tail lashing, she straightened up to full height, which still wasn’t a lot. “Even if it’s only temporary, those precious treasures don’t deserve to be locked away! You wouldn’t appreciate them right!”
Todou looked taken aback more than anything by her trainees outburst. Eyebrows raised high, she just stared at Digital for a long tense moment. Dober fidgeted nervously next to them, and even Opera O, with all her confidence, was unsure how such backtalk was about to go over between these two.
Then Todou squinted, and her lips quivered, and she briefly turned her head to the side to cough behind her hand. When she turned back, her expression was as neutral as ever, but her eyes gleamed with amusement, and a few other things.
“Of course, you’re right, Digital. That said, I could stand to decorate a little more. I got space for shelves. If I do display them, will you let me take some of it? It’ll free up some space for you, and you’ll still have everything close by.”
Digital stared at her, hard, for a few seconds. Her tail slowed from it’s lashing, though it still twitched with her contemplation.
“Acceptable.” She finally said. “But you better send me photos as proof! And you have to set them up right!” She insisted.
“Yes, ma’am.” Todou copied Digital’s usual salute, though with far less earnestness.
Shortly after that exchange, both Todou and Opera O excused themselves to leave. The trainer took off to her office, telling Digital to take her time before she dropped by, and Opera O left to do… whatever it was Opera O did in her free time. Maybe wax poetically to and about Meisho Doto, or bother Admire Vega. Probably both.
“How come you’re making more space? Are you getting new stuff?” Dober asked as they watched the other two leave.
“Not exactly! The other day, a fellow simp approached me at the park! We’ve seen each other at a lot of events and hang out there sometimes! She totally saved me the first time we talked, actually, I would have been frozen by the time it was my turn in the line if it wasn’t for her!!”
Dober nodded along quietly. It was fun to watch Digital get excited about her hobbies.
“But like I said, she came to me, and first she said she wanted to take all her stuff!! Like she wanted to give it up forever! Because she wants to get into a good school, and she’s going to have to study a lot, so she won't have much time for simping.”
Digital turned on Dober the same way she did to Todou later, the look in her eyes so intense that the taller girl almost took a step back.
“But!!! Just because you have less time for something doesn’t mean you should give it up!! Even if it takes a while for you to get back to it! Even if you can never make as much time for it as you want to! You should never give up on something that makes you happy!”
There was a moment of quiet between them, before Digital seemingly remembered where she was, who she was, and who she was talking to. She quickly shrunk in on herself.
“Ah, um, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to preach to you or anything! I just got a little carried away…”
Dober giggled softly at the sudden change. “It’s fine, Digital. I like how passionate you get about things. Besides, I agree with you. Even if we have less time as we get older and busier, we should still make room for the things we love.”
“Exactly! You get it!” Digital’s tail wagged behind her. “That’s why I told that girl I would only take her stuff temporarily! No matter how long it takes, she’ll come back, and we’ll both see each other at events again!”
“You two must be really good friends,” Dober mused.
“Well– I mean, kinda? Not really? We don’t really hang out or anything, it’s… more a fandom friend at best kinda thing. Not that those aren’t real friends! But. Yeah?”
“I don’t think she would leave the merch she treasures with just anyone, do you? At the very least, she trusts you a lot.”
Digital squirmed a little. “I-I guess! Maybe. I’m not really used to… I always do simp stuff by myself, cause I know I can get really intense about it, and it scares people off. The only one I’ve ever met who can keep up is Todou, to be honest!”
“Todou? She… I admit she doesn’t seem like it.”
“Oh, I know, but she’s totally on the same vibe as me! You should see her when she gets going, she might worse than me!” Digital grinned. “Speaking of, I should start heading back, she’s probably waiting to go over our training.”
“I’ll walk you back, if you don’t mind? We can talk a bit longer.”
“O-oh, you don’t have to! But, if you want to…” Digital mumbled shyly.
“I want to.” Dober replied firmly, leading the way back to the academy, Digital quickly following as they fell into idle chatter.
Happy Birthday Dober!!!<
[image]<
It’s just something small but I wanted to make something since it’s your birthday and giving< on birthdays is fine because there’s no expectations of reciprocation,
Anyway!!!!!<
I’ll be busy today so I couldn’t say it in person, but I hope you’ll have a nice day!<
>Digital
>Did you stay up until midnight for this.
>You are running A RACE. TOMORROW.
>A G1!
Oops!<
>You better get proper rest or I’ll tell Todou.
Noooo! I’ll get rest I promise!!!<
Have a nice day I gotta go!!!<
>Yes, you have a nice day, too. And good luck tomorrow.
>And thank you for the art. It’s lovely.
Her legs barely managed to stumble to a stop. Lungs burned with every desperate gulp of air she took in. The crowd was roaring around her, she knew, even if she couldn’t hear it over the pounding in her own ears.
Sweat dripped from her face, unable to even lift her gaze off of the turf she stood on. Couldn’t find the strength to even look up and around at the other uma musume who had crossed the finish line around her.
Digital didn’t have to look up at the board, she knew she wasn’t on it. Her placing wasn’t important anyway.
A G1 was so much more intense than she could have ever imagined. Even giving it her all, she was no match for the runners around her yet. And she truly had given it her all, truly put her all into achieving the victory, even if it wasn’t enough. She had to, if she truly wanted to understand the uma musume she looked up to so much.
And it worked. It wasn’t something she could put into words, not yet, but there was something, maybe her gut or even an instinct as an uma musume, that was starting to understand. What made them so special. What made her and so many others enraptured by them.
She took a deeper breath and straightened up, finally taking in the scenery around her. Uma musume celebrating and crying in equal measure. All of them so precious, no matter where they placed. And a fraud like her, right in the middle of it all.
Still so far from being worthy of the privilege of having been born an uma musume. She had to work harder.
Shaky legs moved to carry her off the turf along some of the other girls, back to the dressing room. She had to get ready for her part in the winning live, after all, even as a background dancer.
Each step felt a little unsteady, but she moved forward regardless. She could already spot Todou waiting by the entrance, probably wanting to go over the race as soon as possible. She hurried her pace to a light jog, even as her legs screamed in protest. The crowd was out of sight by now, but there was still a faint noise.
For a moment she was surprised that she could still hear it, but then realized it was still the blood roaring through her ears, seconds before her vision tilted.
Agnes Digital was unconscious before her face even hit the ground.
When Digital later woke in her dressing room to the sight of both T.M. Opera O and Meisho Doto hovering over her with worried expressions, she almost passed right back out again. The only thing that kept her conscious was the utterly distraught look on Todou’s face as well.
“’m fine, I’m fine!” She quickly tried to reassure the three women around her. She sat up much too fast, dizziness immediately overtaking her as she wobbled unsteadily. A pair of hands, she couldn’t tell who’s gently landed on her shoulders and pushed her to lie back down.
“Easy, now, Digital.” Todou’s voice rang above her calmly, though there was a light tremor to it.
“Ah, what about the winning live?!” Panic surged through her as she remembered. The other three stared at her dumbfounded for a moment, before Todou regained her composure.
“Don’t worry about that, Digital. You weren’t out for long. The race just took it out of you, I think. You’ve got to rest for now so you can perform well later, yeah? Wouldn’t want you to go down again during the concert.”
Digital’s hair was ruffled, and then steps moved away from her. The two umas present seemed to relax a little as well now that she seemed fine.
“Worrying about the performance right after awakening from a fall! Truly, Digital, perhaps the stage may be your calling as well. Your passion and eagerness for it certainly know no limits!”
“You really ought to rest though… You gave us a good scare when we ran into Todou carrying you on the way here!”
“I’m so sorry, I really didn’t want to worry you! I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until it was too late.”
She saw Todou return to her side with an opened bottle of water and sat up again, slower this time, to drink from it. A part of her desperately wanted to drink as much and as fast possible, but she couldn’t stand being that messy in front of her oshis, so she opted for quick, small sips instead.
“You ran well,” Todou said, standing tall as always, though her eyes were a mix of emotions. Mostly worry. Digital cringed at herself for making her trainer worry, but she didn’t regret giving it her all during the race.
“You ran well on turf,” Opera O agreed, her usual grin returning now that Digital seemed to be mostly recovered. “I’d like to see how you perform on dirt, with all the rumors about your all-rounder capabilities. Soon, me and Doto are to meet in battle at the Takarazuka Kinen, and around that time–”
“Japanese Dirt Derby.” Todou interrupted automatically, and seemed to surprise even herself with it. She cleared her throat sheepishly. “I mean, I was planning for that next, anyway, if Digital agreed. Though I was reconsidering, after…” She trailed off and shook her head. “No, it’s up to you, Digital. If you want to run it, then–“
“Yes!” Digital replied excitedly. “I want to! I have to! I think I figured something out during the race today, and I need to see if it’s the same in a dirt G1! I’ll go to the Dirt Derby!”
Todou blinked, then softened a little. “Alright.” Then her hand came down on Digital’s head like a weight, applying just a little pressure to be uncomfortable. “But you will get a check-up right after the live, if you insist on performing, and if they find anything, you will rest until they say you’re fine, or so the three goddesses help me.”
“Yes, ma’am!” Digital agreed, already vibrating with excitement for the future.