Chapter Text
in the morning, when the sun is peaking through the sheer curtains of the bedroom, the fresh sunlight settling on her hair and creating a fiery red that ignited his heart, he knew how deep he was. he knew when his hand was a mere inch away from her's yet it still burned that these were the feelings that were going to keep him awake at night.
and at the foot of the bed, with zen curled up in a ball, loosely holding on to the fabric of her pants, the subtle smile of knowing the love of his life was right by his side, that this was the guilt that was going to pile up. he knew that his dedication to his master and his lady would take these feelings and tear them apart and bury him in their remains. tiny, painful remains because he could never bring himself to hurt the two for his own selfish wants.
he'd set himself on fire before he let that happen, he'd walk a thousand miles away from the two people who mean the most to him if it meant they'd never have to hurt because of his own feelings.
it was in the morning that he realized instead of keeping the many secrets about himself locked up tight, the only secret he'd lay his life on the line to keep was that of his own feelings towards his mistress.