Chapter Text
Saps didn’t stop walking until he was halfway down the hallway.
“...What the fuck was that.”
He stood there for a second, staring at nothing, waiting for his brain to come up with a reasonable answer.
It in fact, did not.
However, the scene replayed through his head.
“Don’t.”
“You’re not asking someone else.”
Saps frowned, shifting his weight.
It wasn’t what Flux said.
It was how he said it.
That’s what made him feel – weird.
Saps ran a hand through his hair, exhaling slowly. Okay. No. That was normal. That was a normal reaction.
A pause.
Right?
That did not feel normal.
It felt –
He stopped himself again.
“Why did that feel so weird?
The question sat there.
Heavy.
Uncomfortable.
Saps let out a quiet, almost disbelieving laugh, shaking his head.
“Dude, what the hell is this?”
He pressed his lips together, glancing down the hallway like he needed an escape from his own thoughts.
This is so stupid, he muttered. It’s literally nothing. He just reacted. People react.
He took another deep breath.
But not like that.
He rubbed the back of his neck, more restless now.
Why do I care, though?
That question made his stomach twist. Not sharp, not painful, but just enough to feel it. To know it was there.
Unsettling.
Unknown.
Against his will, small moments between him and Flux started playing in his head, reminding him of every time he felt that warm sensation.
Flux laughing, head tilted back just slightly, his soft gaze subconsciously following Saps.
Flux standing too close, as if spatial awareness was a new concept to him. At every gathering, or party, they naturally gravitated to each other, standing unnecessarily pressed together, or forgetting the meaning of personal space.
Flux saying his name – as if it were the easiest thing in the world.
He swallowed hard.
His chest tightening again, stomach flipping.
Light. Sudden.
Like he’d somehow missed a step, without even needing to move.
That feeling –
He had felt that before.
Everyone had.
But he never… expected to – You know..
Another memory surfaced.
Flux's hand brushing against his, fingers pressed to the palm of his hand.
The way he hadn't moved away.
Fluixon hadn't either.
The way he didn't want him to.
The same feeling bloomed again, even stronger this time. Warm, fluttering, definitely impossible to ignore.
Saps sighed, taking a quiet breath, and staring at nothing, trying to reconfigure his world, which had just shifted drastically out of place.
“...Oh"
It wasn't loud.
It wasn't dramatic.
Just–
Certain.
Somehow, that made it worse.
Fuck, I’m so screwed.
Oh I so don’t like that.
He turned around, and with quick, firm steps he started walking towards the end of the hallway.
I am NOT dealing with this alone.
“PILI PLEASE OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR"
Saps now stood in front of Thomas’ and Pili’s dorm room, banging on the door, shaking it as hard as he could.
He leaned forward on the door and stuck his face to the peephole, trying to peek in. Suddenly, the door swung open, causing poor Saps to almost faceplant on his friend’s hardwood floor.
Thomas opened the door with an annoyed look on his face.
" What do you want?” he questioned, pinching the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes tight as if even the white-haired man’s presence gave him a headache then.
"Where’s Pili? I need to talk to him” Saps muttered, shoving his way past Thomas to get into the cluttered apartment.
Thomas groaned, pointing towards the living room.
On the small leather couch sat Pili, who didn’t even bother turning around.
“I’m not opening the door next time.”, he said lazily, skimming through TV channels.
Ignoring him, Saps marched straight into the living room, pacing around, as Thomas watched him from the hallway, thinking about how to kick him out faster.
"Alright so,” he took in a deep breath, turning to Pili with a serious look. "I need you not to react.”
" Not happening” Pili snorted, glancing at him with amusement, but when he noticed Saparata’s face, he straightened up a little.
"Crap, what's up?"
“Just– listen okay?”
"You’re making it worse.”
"I’m serious.”
Saps stopped in front of the couch, dragging a hand through his soft snowy hair.
"This better be worth it” Pili said, raising an eyebrow in suspicion, as his friend's worried look began to worry him too.
“I bet it’s not." Thomas chimed in, crossing his arms. "You’re interrupting our peace, Saps.”
The white-haired man stuttered for a second, before ‘politely’ asking Thomas to not include himself in their conversation.
"You do realize I live here, right?” he said before glaring at Saps, and scoffing loudly, still refusing to leave.
Saps took a deep breath.
Then another.
“Okay so," he started “Hypothetically –"
"Oh god, it’s one of those."
“Shut up. Hypothetically, " he continued, “If someone–doesn’t matter who–realized something about themselves. Like out of nowhere – a big thing,”
Pili’s interest was piqued. "Alright.”, he said, shifting quietly in his seat.
" And it's like objectively horrible timing”. Saps added quietly “It’s also very, very inconvenient."
Thomas groaned.
"It’s hypothetical!!!!” the white -haired one emphasized.
"It's never hypothetical.”
After shooting him a deadly glare, he continued, “And this supposed person might’ve made it worse without realizing,"
Pili threw the TV remote further on the couch. “Worse how?"
“Utterly, incredibly worse."
Thomas let slip a low whistle before muttering “Damn."
“Can you not –"
“Continue." pushed Pili, obviously entertained.
"And the thing, said person might've realized is that.. uhh.. that they might be into someone–”
The others inevitably grinned.
" Oh this is good.”
Thomas took a few steps into the room, leaving the doorway to sit next to his roommate on the couch.
Saps pursed his lips, tightening his jaw before deciding if he should just back out of this conversation. But he was in too deep now. “And this person isn’t just random, it's someone they really, really shouldn't be into."
“Oh this is great." Pili smirked, his eyes lighting up.
Thomas frowned. " Wait.”
Saps rubbed his eyes, realizing his great mistake. "Yeah?”
Pili pointed an accusatory finger at him. " Who is it?”
"It's hypothetical.”
"Who. Is. It?”
“Doesn't matter."
“It absolutely does matter.”
Saps hesitated.
“...It's–” he started, but stopped to think for a moment.
Pili narrowed his eyes, trying to read his friend's face.
Exhaling sharply, he continued “It’s – my best friend.”
Silence.
A very specific, deep, kind of silence.
Pili stared at him.
Thomas stared at him.
They both blinked slowly.
Saps immediately regretted his whole life's choices.
"...Say something,” he muttered. "..please..”
Pili turned his head slowly, to face both him and Thomas. “No way."
“You’re kidding."
“No way", Pili repeated, louder now, almost jumping from the couch.”You’re not serious."
“I said hypothetically..!!"
"This is not hypothetical, bro.”
Saps groaned, dropping onto the fluffy carpet with a dramatic thud. “I hate you both–it’s the last time I'm telling either of you anything.”
Pili leaned forward, eyes locked on the white-haired guy sprawled upon his beige carpet. " Since when??”
"I–I don't know.”
" What the fuck do you mean you don't know?!”
"Fuck should I know! I realized like – 10 minutes ago!!”
Thomas let out a disbelieving laugh, "10 MINUTES AGO?? So you just woke up and were like wow, I'm in love with my best friend!”
"I didn't wake up like that, it just.. happened.”
" Unbelievable.” Thomas scoffed.
Pili dropped on the ground, near Saps. "Oh my god. This is incredible!!”
“Can you not sound so excited?"
“I am excited!!" Pili beamed. “It's the best thing I've heard all week!"
Thomas ran a hand through his short brown hair, untangling it with his fingers, still trying to process. "Wait, wait. Your best friend?”
Saps froze, realizing the grave, generational mistake he had just committed.
Pili understood. “Hold up–”
Thomas held up his hand, pointing at him and staring wide eyed at Saps, who was definitely having an internalized crisis. “No no no no– don’t tell me–"
The poor guy, who was now cornered by the two, looked away. He could feel his face burning, heat
rushing to his ears.
That was all the confirmation they needed.
Pili’s jaw dropped.
“FLUX???"
Saps made a strangled noise. “Keep your voice down! Our dorm is literally at the end of the hallway!!"
Thomas physically took a step back. " Oh, you’re done.”
“I KNOW!! " Saps screeched, covering his face with his hands before rolling on the ground like a 5 year old.
“Rewind. You’re in love. With FLUX???" Pili seemed to take a while to process what his friend just dropped on him.
“Stop saying it like that!"
“Like what? It's insane!!"
“I'M AWARE!" he screamed again, before groaning and getting up, just to faceplant on the leather couch.
“I’m so fucked, I literally asked him to be my date for Schpood's party.."
“YOU WHAT?" Both Pili and Thomas erupted at him, wide eyed and in shock.
The brown haired one threw his arms in the air, covering his face with his hands, letting out a muffled chuckle. “No, no – this is actually crazy. Did you ask him to be your date before or after you had your .. epiphany?”
Saps paused, clearly embarrassed. "..before?” he let out a quiet breath, closing his eyes after realizing what the hell he just spat out.
“And he said yes??"
“Yeah.. "
Pili covered and threw a hand over his mouth. “Shit, man, this is going to be an absolute disaster."
“You guys are so helpful and supportive! Thank you!" he spit out in a very, very obviously sarcastic tone.
Saps didn’t remember how he got back to his dorm.
One second he was still on Thomas’ floor, Pili laughing like this was the best day of his laugh and the next–
He was staring at the ceiling of his own room.
Wide awake.
At.. what– 3 a.m.? maybe 4?
He had lost track of time, deep into thought.
He didn’t want to check the clock.
That would make it real.
Turning from side to side into his bed, nothing worked. Every time he closed his eyes, his brain helpfully replayed the same things on loop.
“Yeah, no,” Saps muttered, throwing an arm over his face.
“I’m not doing that.”
It didn’t matter though – his brain stopped listening a long time ago. Now all the scenes were more vivid. Every detail felt sharper now, louder – as if something turned them up.
“This is so stupid..”, he groaned into his pillow.
It didn’t feel stupid.
That was the problem.
Saps dragged a hand down his face, staring into the dark.
“..I’m actually in love with him.”
Saying it out loud definitely made it worse.
His stomach did that stupid flip again.
“Great”, he whispered, letting out a desperate chuckle. “Awesome. Fantastic.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, like he could physically force himself to sleep.
It didn’t work. Shocker.
At one point, he just sat up, running his fingers through his already messy and tangled hair.
“Okay, you know what.” he mumbled. “New plan. I’ll just.. not think about it.”
He stopped.
“Yeah, that should work.”
Temporary solution.
Ignore everything until after the party.
Simple, clean. Totally unrealistic.
Saps flopped back down, head hitting the soft pillow with a thud.
“Future me can deal with that.” he murmured under his breath, pulling the thick blanket over his face.
He did not, in fact, deal with it.
Not the next morning, when the two ate breakfast together like usual.
Not during class, when he was sitting next to Pili, who obviously kept trying to interrogate him.
And definitely not when someone said Flux’s name and his brain immediately short-circuited.
God he’s such a loser,
By the time he got back to the dorm, he was exhausted in that specific way that had little to do with sleep, and much more to do with emotional turmoil.
He pushed the door open with his shoulder, bag slipping off and hitting the floor with a dull thump.
“Hey,” he muttered automatically, not even looking up. “I’m back–”
He stopped.
Flux was already there.
Not unusual.
But the way he was sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows rested on his knees, like he’d been waiting.
That was new.
Saps’ stomach did it’s special trick again.
“You’re home early” he said instead, kicking his shoes off to give himself a quick distraction.
“Yeah,” FLux replied, glancing up at him. “Boring day.”
A pause.
Saps nodded, pretending like that made sense. Flux was always busy, or had one thing or another going on.
“Cool, cool”
Flux didn't answer right away.
Saps glanced up – and immediately regretted it.
His friend was staring at him –not in a normal way – like trying to decipher something on his face.
“You’re acting weird." Flux said, after a long pause.
Saps scoffed, looking away.
" I'm not! you are.”
The shorter guy huffed a quiet breath, dragging a hand through his black hair. “Whatever."
Silence stretched for a second.
Then –
" About the party,”Flux added, trying so hard not to glance up at his friend.
Saps stiffened slightly. “Yeah?"
Another pause. Like he was choosing his words carefully.
“...We should probably make it more believable."
Saps blinked. “believable?"
“Yeah," Flux explained, shrugging like it was nothing. His tone didn't quite match.
“If we're gonna go together.”
Saps shifted, suddenly self aware. " I mean, don't we just .. show up?”
Flux let out a soft chuckle. "And then you panic the second someone asks you a question.”
" I do not–"
(He does though. He always did. Flux knew him too well)
“You do." Flux cut in, not even looking at him now. “You already did."
Saps opened his mouth, let out a huffed breath, and shut it back up.
“Okay, whatever." he muttered.
And then, more casually –
“So we practice."
The white -haired guy stared at him. “...We.. what?"
“Practice." Flux repeated, like it was obvious. He leaned back slightly, shrugging again. “Go out, act like we're actually together. So it doesn't look fake this weekend."
Actually together.
Saps swallowed. "Isn't it a bit–”
“What, too much?” Flux cut in, finally glancing at him again. There was something sharper in his expression now. “Then don’t do it.”
That caught him off guard.
“I didn’t say that—”
“I mean, it’s whatever,” Flux added quickly, looking away again, like he’d already moved on. “It’s not like it matters. Just thought it’d make things easier.”
There it was again.
That ‘it doesn’t matter’ tone.
Except it clearly did.
Saps frowned slightly. “You’re the one who brought it up.”
“Yeah,” Flux said, a little too flat. “And I said it’s whatever.”
Silence.
Saps hesitated.
“…Where would we even go?” he asked anyway.
Flux paused.
Just for a second.
Then shrugged. “There’s that coffee place near campus.”
Of course there was.
Saps took a deep breath, and gave a soft grin.
“So, how about tomorrow?", he questioned, totally on board with the idea.
Flux blinked rapidly. " Wait, you actually want to go?” He sounded as if he couldn't believe his ears. As if his far stretched plan somehow worked.
“I mean sure, why not?” the taller man said casually, still standing in the apartment hallway, trying so hard not to die inside.
“I just didn't think you'd agree so fast", his roommate said, visibly flustered.
" Well I did. So, is tomorrow alright?”
Saps didn't know where this newfound confidence came from, but he didn't want it to disappear. Actually, he didn't know if he wanted the world to swallow him whole or kiss Flux’s flushed face.
" Okay, yeah, sure.” the other one said, nodding slowly.
A date.
‘Practice’ or whatever.
But still a date.
With Flux.
As a ‘couple’.
His chest did that stupid thing again.
"This is fine.” he muttered under his breath. "This is totally fine.”
Flux glanced over. "What?” He raised an eyebrow.
" Nothing, nothing.”
A pause.
He nodded once, like he didn't fully believe him, but didn't want to push it.
“Alright then, tomorrow."
He leaned back again, turning slowly towards the TV, pretending not to care.
Saps blinked, stunned. This conversation seemed like it didn't matter. I mean, why would it? It was practice, after all. But–
It didn't feel like it.
They were both so.. careful with their words, like neither of them wanted to ruin this.
He stood there for a second too long, replaying everything that just happened, then tiptoed to his room.
He didn't want to disturb anything, Flux seemed so concentrated on a useless TV program, as if he hadn't just dropped a world-shattering idea on an already-lovesick Saparata.
What the fuck?