Chapter Text
Ilya loved playing with the Centaurs. It might not have always been the case, but since the plane ride to Tampa had gone south, the team had finally clicked on the ice as much as they did off it.
It was Ilya’s third game back after Pike proved how dumb he was and sent the video without checking to see if anything was wrong. Like, come on, does the Canadian school system not teach internet safety? At least check to see if there are any addresses in the mirror. They were playing Toronto tonight and absolutely crushed them. 6-0 on home ice felt good. It felt even better knowing Dallas Kent, resident asshole of the opposing team, tried chirping Ilya and Troy about being gay, only to watch as Ilya got a hat trick and Troy assisted with two of Ilya’s goals and one of Luca’s three.
Haas was on fire tonight. He got the first hat trick of his professional career, and Ilya couldn’t be prouder. While Kent didn’t know about Luca and his boyfriend, Archie – even if the boy himself wouldn’t admit it, Ilya knows from experience how a baby gay acts, knowing the only points scored tonight were from the queer players in Ottawa felt great against the raging homophobic team.
“Roz, you coming out with us tonight? It’s a special night.” Dykstra asked in a sing-song voice. Ilya had tried harder to interact with his team since the crash, going to the outings and barbecues instead of just when he was needed. It was nice, getting out of the house, seeing people who aren’t just Anya and the neighbors walking across the street to get their mail.
“Maybe, you going to get better taste in music?” He shoots back. Laughs echo throughout the room and Ilya has never felt more at home than in the Centaurs’ locker room.
“Ouch. Tell me how you really feel cap” Dykstra said
“Yes, that is reason I’m saying this. Get better music. My ears cannot handle more bad country, at least play Dolly Parton.” Ilya might be playing hard to get with going out – he would, don’t worry – but he was being 100% truthful with the music jabs. Dykstra on aux should be considered a hate crime.
“Hey, it’s not that bad, and I have Jolene on there!” The man tried to defend himself.
“No Roz is right, Spotify should ban your playlists,” Bood joined in, “But seriously Roz, you comin’ tonight?”
“Yes fine, I will go to stupid bars with you all. But only to celebrate Haasy, you fuck are too boring to go out with otherwise.” That was a lie. Ilya would go out with them regardless of Haasy but now there’s an excuse to hide behind. He’s still Ilya fucking Rozanov, and he has a reputation to protect.
Wiebe enters the room with a very proud look on his face. They had played amazing tonight. The offense and defense had been so intuned with each other tonight. He claps his hands together to get the rowdy room’s attention, “Well, great job out there tonight. In honor of this great game – and Hass’s first hat trick – pratice tomorrow is optional.” Roars of glee surrounded the room. With the optional practice, it meant three full free days for everyone. So much time off this close to playoffs is heaven. No one has mentioned it yet, but stress has been starting to leak in the cracks of the arena. This is the closest Ottawa has ever been to the cup and the pressure was getting real.
Ilya was especially happy about this. Shane would have a free day tomorrow so they could spend the day tomorrow and Ilya could stay in Montreal for the other two.
“Hell yeah! Let’s go Haasy!” Young cried out, being met with cheers from the rest of the room.
Looking around the room at his team made his heart fill with joy.
He was finding a family he never thought could exist outside the Hollanders. Bood felt like the older brother Alexie never was, always keeping Ilya in check on the ice and joining him when deemed necessary. Hayes’s superhero addiction was once annoying, but now it has grown on Ilya to the point where he makes sure, at least once a week, he asks Wyatt about whatever comic he’s reading. He has grown to care for Haas and Barret, making sure they have the locker room he and Shane always dreamed of – to be loved as a valuable member of the team, no matter what. Even the rest of the rookies, with how annoying and loud they can be on flights and buses, have wormed their way into his heart.
This was a team he could see being the one he retires from. The Bears were good, having Marly there and not needing to deal with those first few years of no playoff chances were nice, but besides a few people, Ilya never really felt complete there; he always felt as though his likablity was based off how many goals or women he scored and if his relationship had come out while he was still in Boston, he doesn’t know if they’d still like him. Here, in Ottawa, he’s out, he has friends who have supported him and truly care for him. Ilya would be proud to see his jersey hang in the rafters – after another decade of course.
As some of team files into Ilya’s car – he volunteered to be a driver for tonight as he had a drive to Montreal to do later – Ilya realizes Shane’s game against Boston should be over. It’s his first game back as Theriault had been harsher than Wiebe and kept him out until fans starting questioning why Ilya was back and Shane wasn’t. He wants to check the final score but he opens his messages first.
10:46 pm
Ilya: How did the game go moya lyubov?
Shane was probably busy. The Voyagers might’ve gone into overtime or Shane was just stuck in a media scrum. Or he was taking a shower after the game. Or talking to his team. His very homophobic team. Anyways, Ilya shouldn’t worry too much about it, Shane would message him if anything was wrong.
As they get to a new bar some of the rooks wanted to go to across the city, Shane still hadn’t responded to his text. There isn’t enough wifi in the moving cab to pull up the game stats, so he tries to get to Shane again.
11:08 pm
Ilya: Shane?
Ilya: moy dorogoy?
Ilya: Are you ok? Why aren’t you responding?
No response. Okay so maybe something was wrong. Shane would never let him triple text him with out at the very least scolding him. Once they pull up to the club, Ilya immediately connects to the free internet and goes to open google when Hayes comes up beside him.
“Roz come on get off your phone and join in on the party!” Wyatt says as he wraps an arm around Ilya’s shoulders. He looks up and somehow the table has already gotten a round of shots and a beer for him, everyone looking expectingly at him.
“Sorry I have to do som-” He begins as he hears a familiar name said behind him.
“That’s right Paul, no one would expect this kind of come back from Hollander,” An announcer says on a TV one of the other patrons turns up. Ilya immediately stops and turns around to face the directio the sound is coming from, “Losing 5-2 is harsh. It looks like the team chemistry that has been unrivaled for years now, fell apart in the three games Hollander was missing for. The captain has now broken the record for the most checks in a game without serious injury. Seems like the defense for the Voyagers All-Star player is non existent. Earlier this season, the Voyagers looked like they were coming for their next cup, now – if the Voyagers keep playing like this they won’t even make the wildcard spot.”
Ilya stops watching. He turns back to his team and only sees looks of understanding. Has he mentioned how much he adores this team.
“Go be with him Roz, he obviously did not have a good homecoming.” Bood said
Ilya can only nod at his team as he checks himself for his phone, keys, and wallet. After making sure he has everything he looks back at the group
“You sure you will be ok?” He asks. He wants to leave. He wants to be with Shane. But leaving his team when it was such a big night for them — especially Haas — feels wrong.
“Yeah, I know you came out to celebrate me but Hollander needs it more after the shit he probably went through tonight,” Luca tells him.
“Me and Harris will take care of Anya for the night so don’t worry about her.” Troy adds.
Ilya doesn’t wait for another answer. He thanks everyone and dashes out of the club and gets into his car. He starts to drive to Montreal, going faster than probably safe but he doesn’t care. Ilya tries to call Shane but he doesn’t pick up. Phone must be dead. It doesn’t matter, he’ll see Shane soon enough.
—
As Ilya pulls into Shane’s driveway, a sense of dread begins to crawl up his spine. He doesn’t trust that the Voyagers didn’t make Shane’s night a worse hell than it already was. He knew Pike — as much as he hated to admit it — would stand by Shane and defend him no matter from. Boiziau, Ilya doesn’t know about. He would like to believe he would protect Shane from the Voyagers, but Boiziau had always looked like he would fall where the majority is, even if it meant losing a few friends along the way. Ilya just hope he wouldn’t say anything directly to Shane because Ilya knew he wouldn’t be able to handle that. Losing a friend right now would kill him.
At least he has Pike, Pike is better than no one.
It physically hurts him to know Shane has not had the best reaction to their relationship. To know that Shane has to walk into that arena and deal with homophobic assholes and their comments everyday without Ilya there makes something in his stomach churn.
He parks his car next to Shane’s boring Jeep Cherokee and turns it off. Getting out, he fumbles for the keys to Shane’s house. Ilya was shaking and it took a few minutes to insert the key into the hole. Turning the doorknob, Ilya was ready to fight off anyone and anything that might get in the way of getting to Shane. He enters his home and immediately starts looking for his love.
“Shane?” Ilya calls out. He’s not in the living room or the kitchen. The dining room is a bust, so is the home gym. Shane hasn’t responded to any of his calls and Ilya was getting very worried now.
As he climbs the stairs to the master bedroom, flashbacks to when he was twelve start in Ilya’s mind. He tries not to think of finding his mother in her bed, one limp, pale hand extending over the edge, the rest of her body covered by the white comforter. He doesn’t want to think about finding Shane like that. Anxiety creeps into Ilya’s bones and he prays to any god out there that he wouldn’t find him like his mother. Please. I don’t think I’ll be able to survive losing him. He is the air I breathe and the blood in my veins. I can’t live without him. It might be stupid to think a bad game might be what pushed Shane to extreme measures but the thoughts haunt Ilya regardless.
Opening the door to the bedroom, Ilya keeps his head down to keep himself in the dark for as long as possible. He goes to turn on the light as he walks in when he hears a body moving in the bed ahead of him. With the lights on, he sees the best thing in his life.
Shane.