Chapter Text
“Blankets are in the drawer.” Natasha said as she tossed a pair of her sleep clothes onto the couch, not sparing her a second glance.
Maria stood awkwardly in the middle of Natasha’s apartment like she hadn’t been there on and off for the last 4 years. Maria took a seat and held up the shirt that Natasha had chosen. “Do you maybe, um, have anything a little…longer?”
“Nope.” Natasha said immediately. “Shower’s free to use, you know where it is. Good night.”
“Night.” Maria murmured, still staring blankly at the cropped tank Natasha knew would not go past her waist.
With a sharp exhale, Natasha headed to her room and contemplated doing something dramatic like slamming the door. Instead, she settled for a medium-loud click of the lock. After changing into something more comfortable, she settled under the covers, pulled the family-sized bag of m&ms into her lap and switched on the TV.
Even with the volume cranked up, Natasha could still make out the sound of the water running and stopping, drawers opening, and a hell of a lot of shuffling. “What the hell,” Natasha muttered to herself, “Is she rearranging my furniture?”
The look of Maria’s face in the bodega kept flashing in her mind. She thought about the way Maria stood in her living room, looking at the undersized shirt like it had been a humiliation ritual. With a heavy sigh, Natasha scooched off her bed, opened her drawer to take out an oversized shirt with baggy sweatpants. She trudged over to her door and opened it.
“Ow.” Maria winced, taking a step back and bracing herself against the wall with her hand. “Fuck, that hurt.”
“What the hell are you doing skulking about in front of my door?” Natasha took in the sight in front of her, of Maria in her graphic tee that stopped at her bellybutton, sleeves at an awkward length on her upper arms. She hid a smile.
“Your neighbours are fucking like rabbits.” Maria scowled.
“And?”
Maria had the decency to look a little embarrassed. “And I can’t sleep. So I was wondering if you would-”
“If I would?” Natasha raised an eyebrow.
Maria rolled her eyes, “If you would be so gracious as to let me room with you.”
Natasha put on a sickeningly sweet smile.
“Please.” Maria returned it, her cheeks tight and her jaw clenched..
Natasha pressed the new set of clothes against Maria’s chest, opening the door wider to let her in. Maria promptly removed her top, changing into the oversized shirt. She turned around when she was done, meeting Natasha’s eyes. Maria closed the gap between them, looking down with a knowing smile.
“No.” Natasha immediately said. “Sleep.”
“You were watching me change.”
“So what?” Natasha said with a shrug, reaching out to rest a hand on her stomach for half a second longer than necessary before she pulled it back. “You don’t look terrible.”
Maria’s smile lingered, but it softened around the edges, “Good to know,” she murmured. Stepping back, she took a long hard look at the bed before crossing the room to get to the other end. She lifted the blanket and slid in, pausing when she saw the opened bag of m&ms.
“Don’t judge.” Natasha groaned, hugging the bag of m&ms to her chest as she too slipped back under the covers. Natasha continued with her show for an hour more, before muting the volume and lowering the brightness of the TV. She flipped to her side, facing Maria, one arm tucked loosely beneath her pillow. Maria was still on her phone scrolling through some emails, using one hand to reply to them while her other hand was tucked between her head and the headboard. Her eyes closed slowly, just enough to rest, not enough to miss anything.
“It was the alcohol.” The words had come out in a hushed whisper.
Natasha’s eyes flew open.
Maria was facing the ceiling, moonlight shining through the slit in the curtains and reflecting off her blue eyes. “And the bruises. And him. And no one ever..” She glanced over, and something shifted in her expression. “Oh. I thought you were asleep.”
Natasha shook her head wordlessly.
“Sorry.” Maria cleared her throat, then went silent again like nothing had happened.
“No one ever what?” Natasha pressed.
Maria took in a shuddering breath, “Um,” she blinked once, then twice, then a few more times. “No one ever says anything. And no one ever,” she swiped a hand across her face quickly, the next word coming out shakier than the rest, “...cares.”
Natasha scooted an inch closer. “The man from earlier?”
Maria nodded slowly, before she paused and shook her head.
“Oh.” Natasha exhaled.
Natasha shifted just a little more closer, slow enough that Maria had time to pull away if she wanted to. She found Maria’s fingers under the sheets, touching them lightly. The brunette’s hand flinched slightly but she didn’t pull away, hesitating for a second before curling just enough to hook around Natasha’s.
“The corner store near my place,” Maria whispered again, her voice thin around the edges, “The owner was friends with…” she gestured vaguely with her other hand. “...my father.” She cleared her throat again. “And I would have to pick up alcohol from him on my way home from school. And although my.. he.. was always drunk, he was always careful not to leave bruises in obvious places, especially after CPS came knocking once.”
“They took you away?” Natasha asked, feeling their fingers intertwining into a hand hold.
“Group home, a couple of weeks, yeah.” Maria exhaled sharply. “Then they sent me back. That son of a bitch cleaned himself up just so he could have me back.” Maria shifted slightly, tightening her grip. “My neighbour, Mrs Patterson, she was the one that called it in. Then she moved away and no one ever did again.”
“Even when the bruises weren’t hidden?” Natasha asked, even though she had a feeling she knew the answer.
“Even when I came to school with a hand-shaped bruise around my neck.” Maria let out a sharp, bitter laugh. “It was my 16th birthday, and it was usually worse on my birthday but… that year he went berserk. It wasn’t like anything I’d ever seen before.” Maria’s expression shifted as she swallowed. Natasha squeezed her hand once. “I think he…at some point he was trying to kill me. Or at least, I thought I was going to die.” Maria let out another laugh, quieter this time and fractured at the edges. “Sorry.” She muttered again, letting go of Natasha’s hand to press the palm of her hands against her eyes. “I don’t tell people this.”
A few moments later, Maria removed her hands from her eyes, the rims faintly red in the dim light. She stared up at the ceiling again, jaw tightening as she took a few deep breaths. Natasha didn’t reach for her, this time, it was Maria who shifted closer, such that their shoulders were touching. “We’ve been doing this for what, 4, 5 years?” Maria murmured, her voice a lot steadier now.
Natasha glanced at her, catching the deflection. “By doing this, I assume you meant being fuck buddies?” Natasha said dryly, deciding not to call her out on it.
“Mm.” Maria’s mouth twitched faintly. “I feel like friends with benefits is a nicer term.
“Yet I feel like you’ve told me more about you in the last 5 minutes than the past decade.” Natasha said, not accusingly, just matter-of-factly. “You hadn’t even planned to tell me any of this while I was conscious.”
“No I hadn’t.” Maria agreed, then after a beat, “I messed up tonight.”
“I know.” Natasha said softly, leaning in slightly and letting the side of her head rest against Maria’s shoulder carefully. Maria didn’t pull away, but she didn’t move either, just laid still like she always did when thinking about something. Then, she felt Maria shift slightly. A moment later, her arm slid beneath the pillow and reappeared on the other side, settling loosely around Natasha’s shoulders. She didn’t let herself move, just stayed eerily still as Maria’s breathing evened out, her chest rising and falling steadily. Only then did she let her eyes close.