Chapter Text
Unlike their usual camp locations, Toph and her friends decided to stay at an open field on a mountain peak. Aang said he knew a mountain near the town where a huge grass field can be found. He reasoned that a change of scenery and a bit more freedom wouldn’t be bad for their group. And that maybe, it’ll help Suki relax more as well.
Toph did agree to that. At least they had more space there on the mountain peak. Which is why they decided to take it easy for a few more days before continuing their journey. Toph leaned against the rocky mountain as she observed Aang and Zuko practice The Dancing Dragon. She felt every synchronized step and move they made.
Over the years, she also felt how much they improved. In every practice, Toph noticed how much more efficient and purposeful their movements were. It was noticeable how every time they practiced, they understood the forms better. She wished Aang would show the same rate of improvement when it comes to earthbending though she understands that he’s incompatible with her element. Incompatible enough that he didn’t have the knack for metal bending.
Toph placed her hands on the ground. She had nothing else to do and there was no one else to talk to since Katara, Suki, and Sokka took Appa down the mountain to buy supplies in the nearby town. She observed the two benders practice carefully as she mentally made moves against them as well. This had become her go-to way to sharpen her battle instincts.
She actually found it curious that in some way, Aang and Zuko moved very similarly— not because they’re practicing the same techniques, but because their styles and movements are in alignment. Zuko moves as if he was a trained avatar. But then she remembered Iroh telling her that he trained Zuko to firebend using the movements of other bending styles. He said that was where he derived his technique to return lightning.
She got even more lost in the thought of Zuko, focusing more on him and less on Aang. She listened to the rate of his heartbeat, how his muscles relaxed and contracted as he transitioned to the next form. She observed the rhythm to it— how Zuko’s body would rise, pivot, and how his breathing changed every time.
It was different from the other firebending techniques she’s seen. Firebenders were often aggressive, asserting dominance in their every move. Their forms were unnecessarily heavy and explosive. It’s forceful and rigid as their inner fire is often fueled by anger and ego. Meanwhile, Zuko’s bending was smooth. His movements were light and the transition between forms was fluid. This allowed for a steadier and more controlled flames. It was balanced and not self-destructive.
Toph couldn’t help but smile to see the way Zuko’s bending has evolved over time. It didn’t make him weaker— it made his flames stronger and brighter. His flames are no longer meant to harm, but to guide. They no longer burned with rage— but with purpose. His flames were no longer to overpower, but to protect.
She’d imagine what Zuko looked like every time. She assumed his face would probably look sure and determined— calm and certain of his every move. No longer the boy who burned with a tensed and strained expression. No longer the boy who bent with a frown as if his life depended on it. She was sure he would look lighter now. Softer. Sometimes her imagination would get so vivid that she would even imagine how his sweat would roll from his temples, to his sharp jaws, to every curve of his muscle.
She’s so fucked.
Toph grumbled in frustration, slamming both her knuckles against the Earth, creating a ripple that disrupted the momentum of the other two benders. Color bloomed from her face from the crazy thoughts she had as well as from slamming both her hands on her cheeks in an attempt to knock the thoughts out of her head.
Why couldn’t she stop thinking about it? About him.
“Toph, are you okay?” Zuko asked, concern evident in his voice.
“Is something the matter, Toph? Aang followed.
“No, I’m sorry. There’s just a thought I couldn’t shake from my mind and I— you can say I forced it out,” she dismissed, her two friends simply looking at each other with a confused look on their faces. She didn’t notice the two of them approaching as she focused on slowing her heartbeat back to normal.
“You wanna go practice some moves with me to loosen up, Toph?” Aang sat down beside her, caressing her back gently. “Your face is awfully red. Are you sick?” The airbender inquired, placing his hand against Toph’s forehead to gauge her temperature.
“I’m fine, Twinkletoes. I just need to let some tension out,” she admitted, standing up to stretch her arms and legs.
“If you say so,” Aang gave up. He was still not convinced but he saw Zuko shake his head before he could begin to insist. “I’ll make tea while you guys practice. Something to help calm the nerves,” Zuko rummaged through his things to prepare.
Toph took her coat off, exposing more of her skin. She started walking towards the middle of the field. “Let’s get this over with, Twinkletoes.”
Aang followed, leaving Zuko behind with the tea set. He settled just a few feet away from Toph and followed her movements. Unlike firebending, earthbending required a strong will matched with heavy and unwavering force. Every hit has to be straightforward and decisive.
Toph felt Aang match his movements, his feet deeply rooted to the ground like she had taught him. “Your hits are too soft, Twinkletoes,” she pointed out. Aang immediately hardened the muscles on his body to increase the power of his hits.
“Uhm, Toph—”
“It’s Sifu Toph when we’re training,” the earthbender cut him off, making Aang a bit tense.
“Okay, so, Sifu Toph,” he called out. The earthbender didn’t respond but Aang figured she was listening so he continued. “I know we’re not supposed to talk while practicing, but does your mental turmoil have something to do with Sifu Hotman over there?” He finally asked with every bit of courage he had left.
Suddenly, Earth accompanied Toph’s movements and they were directed at him. His instincts told him to use his airbending to dodge the two boulders flying his way, but to appease his Earthbending master, he faced it head on. Aang bent a huge wall to block the boulders then kicked it back to Toph’s way. Feeling the wall moving towards her, Toph simply rooted her feet harder against the ground, squatting and simply punching the wall as it came towards her.
“And why would it have something to do with him?!” Toph raised her voice, throwing a small rock that hit Aang’s head. He yelped and rubbed the sore spot. “You two make a good pair, Toph. You don’t need to overthink it,” he slowly tried to approach her.
Toph kicked her foot hard against the ground, startling Aang. He expected a pillar beneath him, meant to throw him up into the sky. But instead, Toph made an earth wall before she collapsed to the ground, soft reds visible on her face. Aang walked and used the seismic sense he learned from her to observe her heartbeat. He saw how quick her breathing was and how much her heart was pounding.
The airbender decided to simply sit in front of her and wait for her to respond. After a while, Toph took a deep breath and sat properly. “How do I hide my feelings better?” Toph asked, making the airbender beam.
Toph trusted Aang. She didn’t want to tell him yet, but a part of her wanted to open up to him. Deep down, she knew that the airbender would focus more on helping her than teasing her about her feelings.
“So you do like him,” Aang chuckled. Toph merely looked away, slightly embarrassed to have this kind of talk with Aang. While she did discuss quite a few crushes she’s had before with her other friends, her feelings were never this strong and serious. To top it all off, she had romantic feelings for a common friend. Someone who they had risked their life for. Someone who knew their struggles and traumas. “Why do you feel the need to hide it though? You should tell him,” Aang urged.
Toph leaned backwards, bending a small rock to support her back. “It’s not that simple, Twinkletoes.”
“But it is. I’m sure he likes you as well. A lot, in fact,” he replied, the warmth creeping back onto Toph’s face again. She sighed as she covered her face, making the airbender in front of her giggle. “It’s rare to see the greatest earthbender melt like this. It’s very romantic of you.”
“Oh shut up. It’s not romantic, it’s psychological warfare,” she replied in a muffled voice, still trying to calm her active heart. “You really think he likes me though?” Toph asked, pulling her hands down slightly, just enough to still cover her cheeks.
“Why not? I heard the conversation on Appa three days ago. That doesn’t sound like something you say to someone who’s only a friend. I mean, what kind of friend says they’d gladly drown in your eyes, right?” Toph buried her face in her hands once more, the redness becoming more intense.
Meanwhile, Aang’s eyes were glimmering, his excitement barely contained. “While I also think your eyes are pretty, the only pair of eyes I’d ever drown in is Katara’s. And besides, I won’t be able to describe your eyes that well, Toph. His description is so detailed. I can only do the same with my wife’s eyes. There’s nothing platonic from his words,” he further encouraged, his grin growing bigger as he sees how Toph’s ears lit with a quiet heat.
It was rare to see Toph like this. Actually, it’s the first time ever. She’s always headstrong, unwavering, and confident. She never showed vulnerability or weakness a lot. If she ever did, it’ll only be for a brief moment until she composes herself once again. But this time, it was different. This wasn’t just a simple vulnerability. Toph was actually in love. To the point where she’s even having a hard time forming words.
“You didn’t answer my question,” she complained, another small rock hitting Aang’s arm.
“Okay, well, when I first realized I was in love with Katara, I actually didn’t really do anything specific to hide it. I just acted normal. So just act normal,” he answered, quite unsure with his advice himself.
“Define normal.”
“Uhm, less threatening?”
Toph rose from her hands and frowned at Aang who had cold sweat. “What do you mean, less threatening?” She raised her voice.
“I mean, the past few days, you act a bit tougher when he’s around. And during sparring, you would throw rocks harder in his direction,” he pointed out nervously. Toph’s heart sank when she heard that and she slapped her forehead as she groaned in shame. “Man, did I actually do that?”
“Yeah, you tend to focus on him more during sparring. I’m not sure if anyone else noticed,” he confessed. Toph sighed, her shoulders dropping. “I’ll keep that in mind. What else?”
“Maybe… don’t stare at him too much?” Aang smiled and this time, a slightly larger rock hit the airbender’s arm. “Ow! Why is the rock getting bigger?”
“I’m blind, Twinkletoes! How would I be staring?!”
“Your seismic sense, Toph! I can feel the slight vibrations on the Earth, just slightly, and I can see you focusing a lot! You would put your palms against the ground and be still to listen well.”
“I’m so freaking stupid!” Toph bent a rock in front of her and headbutted it, startling Aang. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Toph. I’m sure I’m the only one who feels it— I mean, I’m the only other earthbender, right?” He tried to console her.
It did help Toph a little but she’s having a hard time hiding her blush. “I can’t stop this warm feeling on my face,” she complained, slapping her cheeks.
She can’t believe she’s been giving off signs like that. And she can’t believe Aang felt her ‘staring’ using her seismic sense. It was totally nuts. It only means two things. One is that Aang was improving, and two, she’s becoming a little clumsier because of her inner turmoil. Or maybe it’s both.
“And, I noticed that you get quieter around him too.”
“No, I don’t,” Toph was sure of herself.
“You totally do. It’s actually scary.”
Nothing made Toph feel better. She’s been more obvious about her feelings than she thought she was. I mean, sure, she’s not handling the situation well. But she didn’t think it was that bad. She felt so hopeless.
“And you insult him in a softer tone now,” Aang raised his finger. This time, Toph felt confident and scoffed at him. “No I don’t. I insult everyone the same,” she said flatly.
“No, you don’t. Your voice jumps an octave and you laugh more! Sometimes, the insults would start feeling flirty.” Toph knew she was fucked. Royally fucked. At that point, further panic started to kick in.
“We need some countermeasures, Twinkletoes! I can’t keep fumbling like this. The moment the others start to notice too, more chaos will ensue,” she raised her voice, slightly panicked by her loss of control. And Toph, she was all about control. She was all about regulation. Afterall, being an earthbender means she needed excellent control. Being an earthbender means she needed a strong unbendable will. Unfortunately, the strong will in question is nowhere to be found at the moment.
“Just don’t think about him,” Aang faltered, also unsure of what to say at that point.
“Wow. Incredible strategy,” she rolled her eyes. “I can feel his heartbeat and presence with my bending, dumbass! And did you ever do that with Katara? I’m betting no.”
“Okay, maybe stop observing his location all the time.”
“I don’t do that,” Toph denied.
“Toph, you literally laughed suddenly and said he tripped over some tree roots yesterday. The grove is more than 10 meters away!” Toph scratched her head and then covered her mouth.
“I’m gonna bury myself,” she muttered, hitting her forehead again. “Argh! How do I calm down when he’s around?” She groaned, hitting rock bottom. It was her first time having some serious feelings for someone. While it felt good, more than she would like to admit, dealing with it and hiding it was far harder than ever before.
“You’re really good at controlling your breath during fights, right? Maybe employ the same technique,” Aang suggested, which actually made Toph chuckle a bit.
“You want me to combat-breathe through a crush?”
“Hey, I’m helping you here!” The airbender complained this time before sighing. “You can’t hide feelings forever, Toph. Trust me, I tried,” he stood up, sitting beside his friend this time. Toph rested her head on his shoulders.
“Okay, I'm sorry. I just don’t know what to do,” she grumbled, the airbender lightly patting her back. “The harder you try to hold it in, the more pressure builds up. So, you should just try to live with it, Toph. Just go with the flow. That’s less obvious than when you try to hide it,” he giggled while the earthbender remained quiet.
She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to observe what Zuko was doing at the moment. She felt him tidying up the tea leaves he chose from, his heartbeat steady and his breathing regulated.
“Oh, they’re back,” Aang stood up, bending the dust off his clothes. Before heading back, he gave Toph one last pat on her head. “Don’t worry too much, Toph. You’ll figure it out.”
Spirits, she hopes so as well. She couldn't wait to figure it out.
She bent the earth wall away as well as the dust on her clothes before catching up with Aang. The closer she got to their camp, the faster her heartbeat became. “I can hear your heartbeat, Toph. It’s intense,” Aang giggled, earning him another rock thrown on his head.
“Don’t use seismic sense to creepily observe your friends,” she scolded to which the airbender only shrugged. “That’s literally what you do,” he pointed out. This time, Toph elbowed his arms.
“That’s how I see, genius,” Toph quickened her pace to the camp, settling down immediately. She felt like her heart was gonna pound out of her chest as she realized that she unconsciously sat beside Zuko. She felt the earth nudge her crossed legs, most likely from Aang. Through the Earth, she felt Aang smirk at her. She immediately took revenge and sent a rock his way, making the air nomad trip.
Now what the fuck was she supposed to say?
She did try to combat-breathe now. It ironically helped her regulate her emotions a little. “You’re still not done brewing tea, Sparky?” She tried to ask casually. But man, she sounded sappy as hell. She hated that Aang was right. She cleared her voice and tried to remain calm. Yes, calm. Zen.
“You guys took a while talking. The tea would go cold if I brewed it,” he replied, serving a cup of jasmine tea in front of her. “Your favorite,” he followed. Toph touched her chest as she felt her heart do the same flip it always does. She immediately put the tea near her face, blowing the steam to disguise her blush.
“Twinkletoes had a lot to say. Annoyingly,” she sipped some tea. Zuko merely hummed as he poured tea for all their friends. She felt all four of them walking towards them, the guys carrying the goods.
“Took you guys long enough,” Toph jokingly complained, Sokka groaning as he dropped all the items they bought. “Suki has cravings, Toph. And we bought some new clothes for disguise. We’ll look pretty sick,” Sokka boasted, sitting down in front of Toph and resting his arms on their stone table.
“We’re pretty well known in the next town we’re visiting. If we wanna observe their living conditions and proper governance without anything being hidden, we need a better disguise,” Katara plopped down as well, sitting on Toph’s right in their round table. Toph’s breathing hitched and her body went completely still as Zuko leaned in dangerously close to her.
“Thanks, Zuko,” Katara thanked him as the firebender handed a cup of tea her way. Oh, fuck. So he just slid the tea towards Katara. Toph felt like she was going crazy. Was that necessary? I mean, he could’ve just told her to pass it to Katara. Did he have to lean in to slide it across her? Her heart ached because she loved it so much but it’s just so crazy.
‘I’m sure he likes you as well.’
Aang’s voice rang inside her head. She was so close to believing it. In fact, she wanted to believe it. But for some reason, she doesn’t want him to like her back either. It’s so complicated. Her feelings weren’t as simple as Aang and Katara’s. While his crush literally altered world history so it’s also not that simple, union between the firelord and an earth kingdom noble wasn’t something she’d call simple.
Why was she thinking of union now? She wasn’t even sure the firebender liked her back. Toph felt Suki sit down beside Sokka. “Black tea! I totally need that in my system,” she remarked. Toph’s eyes widened and she immediately looked to her left where Zuko was quietly sipping tea.
“I thought we were having jasmine tea?” Toph whispered, confusion evident on her face. Zuko shifted his position and moved closer towards her to whisper back. “It’s my last batch of jasmine tea from Uncle. Obviously, it’ll be yours.”
“What, you’re telling me you keep jasmine tea for me?” she joked, sipping some more tea.
“You like it. So, of course I do.”
How could Zuko be so casual about it? At this point, she didn’t even bother fighting her feelings and reactions. She let the flush spread throughout her face and enjoyed the rhythm of her heart. She didn’t respond after that and it seems like Zuko didn’t mind either. Was it awkward? A little. But it’s exactly the type of awkwardness she enjoyed. It was Zuko’s trademark after all.
“Oh, by the way, Toph. Suki and I got something,” Katara mentioned in a merry voice as she rummaged through her bag. Toph didn’t have a good feeling about this. “Tada!” the waterbender exclaimed, some metallic stuff hitting the stone table in front of her.
“Well it sounds like something metallic at least. If it was another fidget for me, that would be nice, but I doubt it is,” she rolled her eyes while Katara simply giggled in a way she truly did not like. “It’s cosmetics, Toph.”
The earthbender grumbled on her seat, truly not liking the implications. “Do I really have to wear makeup?” She complained. “It’s for the disguise! But we decided to have dinner in town later. So it’s the perfect opportunity to practice.”
“I refuse,” she flatly said. This didn’t discourage the waterbender as she whispered in her ear. “Aren’t you curious as to what Zuko has to say when you wear makeup?” Toph felt goosebumps all over her body. She wanted to know. She badly wanted to know. But she told herself this was manipulation.
“What does that have to do with anything?” she glared at her, keeping her voice low so Zuko won’t hear. The woman simply giggled menacingly, sending chills down Toph’s spine. “Not another word from you, Sugar Queen,” she threatened.
As soon as they finished eating, everyone scrambled to do their own things. Aang took off with his glider to explore the area while Katara checked up on Suki with Sokka. She was again, left to her own thoughts. And of course, the subject of her thoughts.
Through her seismic sense, she felt Zuko polishing his sword. It was his every 2-week maintenance, something Piandao had always advised him to do. Zuko rarely used his sword but he said he respected his art, his master, and his sword. Aang was so right. She did stare at him a lot. In her own way. She felt her heart quicken again. Toph has learned to live with that rhythm. And for some reason, it made her slightly more confident.
“Hey, Sparky,” she called out slowly. She felt how the man halted and looked in her direction. There’s no going back now. Toph was so nervous but there was no going back now. “Would you like to see me wearing makeup?” Her voice sounded so bashful and girly. Holy shit. She meant for it to sound casual and tough like usual. Instead, it sounded soft and reserved.
She looked away a little, embarrassed by her flushed face. She felt Zuko’s breath hitch in surprise before he cleared his throat. “I mean… if you wish to wear makeup. Or not. I— well, I’ll be glad to see you regardless.”
Toph stayed quiet. She didn’t respond to Zuko. Or more so, she doesn’t know what to say. She simply hugged her knees and buried her face in there, afraid to show her expression.
“I mean—” Zuko stuttered. He cleared his voice once more before speaking again, “You’ll look the same to me regardless. Makeup or not,” his voice grew smaller, also feeling embarrassed. Zuko was a mess when put on the spot like that.
Toph’s body froze while the color on her face slowly disappeared. Her racing heart started to slow down as she felt a pang of pain on her chest. The previous pounding was no longer from excitement but now a nervous pain. Maybe Aang was wrong. Maybe Zuko didn’t really like her that way.
“Same? So, plain and boring?” She tried to laugh it off, coping from the disappointment. She can live with it. It will pass like every other crush she had. It’ll be harder this time, but not impossible. She’s thinking she might travel for years after this.
“What?! No, goodness, no. I— why am I so bad at this?” Zuko buried his face in his hands, breathing heavily to try and calm down. He slowly looked back up again towards Toph’s direction without looking her in the eye. Although he knew Toph can’t see him through her eyes, he knew he’d be more flustered if he looked.
“By same, I mean beautiful. You’re beautiful, Toph. With or without makeup. So, you don’t have to overthink it. It won’t matter if you decide against makeup or wear some since you’ll still look gorgeous in my eyes,” Zuko’s voice became smaller and smaller as he continued to ramble.
Oh, I was wrong. Toph thought. The same old feeling and conditions went back, starting from the butterflies, to her heart rate, then to the warmth that bloomed on her face once more. She had the urge to laugh. “You’re seriously full of oogies, Sparky,” she laughed, feeling better and lighter than ever.
“Please don’t patronize me,” he begged in a muffled voice, his face still buried in his palms. “I’m already embarrassed enough as it is.”
Toph knew deep inside her that she’s finally accepted it. She now understood what Aang meant when he said act normal and don’t try to hide it. You just live with it. You don’t stop the feeling from surfacing, you let it bloom. With a smile on her face, Toph stood up and approached Zuko. She ruffled his hair and messed with his bun.
“Chill out, Sparky.”
“You want a round of pai sho?” Toph settled down in front of him. This startled Zuko and made him chuckle. If there was anything she’s sure of, it’s that they always smile and laugh in each other’s presence. That was enough for her for now.