Chapter Text
Katniss stared at the letters she was fingering, she knew who they where from, Johanna and Finnick, maybe Annie. One smelled of fresh timber and the other of the salty sea, did her letters smell of ash or coal? Annie was, to be honest, probably to unstable to be sending letters to her, so maybe two where from Finnick. The rebellion had been brought to a final end a week and a half ago, a week ago Coin and Snow had also met their deaths. She hadn't heard from the flirty Finnick or the feisty Johanna since she had seen them both at the meeting of the victors to discuss having a symbolic hunger games. Katniss brushed her dark hair from her lost, grey eyes and chewed her lip, she wasn't sure why she hadn't opened them, but she didn't. Maybe it was because of confusion, as much as she did like the two victors, they where only around to keep her safe, it was a job, they didn't want to be around her really, but they had to do it for the rebellion, it was their duty to keep the stupid, fragile spark alive. Sighing, katniss opened the first letter, the sea scented one with Finnick's scrawling handwriting, looping and showy. The papers corners where dog eared and wet.
Katniss,
I know asking if your okay is a stupid question, but I'm going to ask anyway. Are you Okay? I hope you read this, I need to know your still there girl on fire. I'm worried about you, and I don't think being alone in these big echoing houses are doing us any good, do you? Annie's here of course, but... I don't know what to do! She's fading before me Katniss! Always alone in her head...
Anyway, We're safe, Katniss, safe, really. I don't know If it feels like winning to you, I know it doesn't to me. I suppose its not. No one really wins, You, me, Johanna, Haymitch and Annie know that of all people. Like Haymtich said: There are no winners, only survivors. However, Snow Is gone. But I need someone here with me Katniss, Johanna's to blinded by fury to understand, Annie... But you understand, I think you do. You did in 13, we help each other, because that's what friends do. I know you probably think It was just a job, being around you, helping you, but it wasn't to me, and Johanna, she liked you really. It was a love-hate relationship I suppose, but yeah, she cares. I like you to Katniss, your my friend, maybe I allied with you originally for the rebellion, but its not like that anymore, I want to talk to you Katniss.
Oh, and pick up the phone will ya?
Finnick
Katniss gave a weak smile, he cared, maybe she'd pick up the phone next time. Katniss missed Finnick, they where close to each other in 13 and they understood each other more than others. She turned her eyes to the next letter, the one that's fragrance was fresh bark in the morning. The writing was close together and in capitals, drops of ink on the envelope, it almost seemed like the writing itself was angry. The paper inside it was short and creased.
Brainless,
I'm writing to you because I'm stuck In this stinkin' house with nothing to do but vent my anger with knives at a wall because I have no willpower to go outside, as i'm sure you can relate to. You better be okay, doing something, alive. At least i'm keeping my accuracy with my knives up mockingjay. You better by shooting arrows at a cardboard cut out of Snows ugly face, keep your aim up. Keep going brainless.
Johanna
Katniss smiled again at the sheer- Johannaness - of the letter. She had managed to even capture her aggressive personality into the letter, her smile dropped. Looking guiltily down the hall, Katniss winced as she saw her dusty bow, No Johanna, I've not been keeping my aim up. Katniss thought glumly, maybe she should go hunting, if she could shoot without seeing a dead body that is. Katniss opened the other letter, tilting her head as she noticed this handwriting wasn't Finnicks, it was smaller and simpler, a few curls on the end of g's and y's but not nearly as showy as Finnick's. Katniss opened the letter, wondering if it was Annie who had sent it. The message inside was even shorter than Johanna's.
Katniss,
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly
Annie
For some reason, this short, strange message from an unstable girl seemed to mean more than Finnick's comfort or Johanna's encouragement. It was simple, but motivational, short but sweet. Annie, the sweet little girl from district four, the unlikely victor, knew how to help. Katniss didn't need a paragraph telling her people where there for her, because she had never relied on people before, she helped herself, and although she wanted to help Finnick and let him comfort her, and see Johanna and talk with her, they couldn't save her. The only one that could save her, was herself. That's what Annie was telling her, that it wasn't over, the mockingjay was the start, what happens to a caterpillar when it dies? It turns into something new, something better. Even though the mockingjay was dead, there was something waiting for her, something better. Katniss smiled and tucked all three letters in her pocket, then the phone rang.
Katniss brushed her hand over the letter from Finnick, wondering if it was him, she waited a few seconds, then picked up the phone with a pale hand, putting it to her ear. "Hello?" She said, her voice sounded hoarse and shaky.
"Katniss!" the voice exclaimed, sounding relived, "I was beginning to think you had thrown the phone out the window"
Katniss smiled, he sounded like the one she met in the quarter quell, not quite the same though, Katniss knew he was a good actor, without seeing his face, no one knew what he was feeling.
"Hi Finnick" Katniss replied.
"Have you been okay"
"Yeah"
"Really?"
"Have you been okay Finnick?"
"Yeah" he imitated, in the same tone Katniss had. She sighed.
"Really?" Katniss answered, she knew where this would go.
"Have you been okay Katniss"
"I've been better" Katniss eventually said,
"I think we all have" Finnick said tonelessly. He was right, of course, they'd been better, before the games, before everything changed. Before the nightmares started to haunt them. Before the capital turned them deadly. Before the capital brought about 12's destruction. Before the 74th hunger games. Before the 3rd quarter quell. Before the rebellion. Before everything.
That seemed like a lifetime ago. a million lifetimes ago.
"Katniss?" Finnick said.
"Hm?" Katniss replied, unaware that he had been talking.
"I asked if you wanted to come to 4" he repeated.
"I don't know, why?"
"Because I thought 12 might have to many bad memories at the moment, and its easier to mend when your with others who know what your going through. You could stay at mine" explained Finnick, he sounded hopeful.
"Um.. I don't know, I'm fine, really Finnick" Katniss answered, she wasn't used to asking for help, or even needing it, she was the one helping everyone, not the other way around.
"Your just not used to help Katniss, its not a sign of being weak if you need help" Finnick pointed out.
Katniss flushed. "I - I- thats not true! I just don't need help" she said stubbornly.
Finnick chuckled. "If you say so girl on fire, then come for a friendly visit, please!"
Katniss paused, then gave in. "Fine"
"Good, theres a train going to district 4 tomorrow from your district, it leaves at 10, meaning your get here around 4."
"okay, see you tomorrow then, bring stuff for a couple of weeks"
"I don't want to be -" Katniss started
"I've asked you over for couple of weeks katniss, it's only polite to accept" Finnick said smugly.
"Fine" Katniss sighed.