Chapter Text
[POV: SHANE]
[November 20th 2013]
[MONTREAL METROZY 🔥🏒]
JJZY: Is it js me or are Rozanov's chirps getting scaringly accurate?
KOCHZY: Not just you.
WILZY: srsly is the man a spy?
JJZY: Too stupid.
DRAPZY: He doesn't even word his sentences good enough to be a spy
WILZY: neither could you when you first joined, pat
DRAPZY: Yeah, but I could form sentences after 4 years.
WILZY: doesnt he lit go back to russia every year and is only in usa + ca for hockey season?
DRAPZY: Yeah whatever Jacob
DRAPZY: He's such a cocksucker
COMZY: Yeah
STEDZY: Isn't that illegal in Russia? Like worst of worst?
DRAPZY: Ugh Felix shut the fuck up
HOLLZY: He's correct. Homosexuality is very illegal in Russia and participating in or defending homosexuality can actually get you arrested. Participating in another country means you're not allowed back into Russia. He goes back every year, so clearly he isn't participating, Drapeau.
DRAPZY: Why are you defending that dog? He's the worst!
HOLLZY: He's a good player.
DRAPZY: Seriously he isn't even that good, he just boards everyone into injury.
HOLLZY: The statistics say he is actually a good player. I hate him but even I can see he's actually a good player.
DRAPZY: Lol, Hollzy, hop off his dick.
COMZY: I bet it's tiny.
COMZY: Rozanov is definitely overcompensating.
DRAPZY: 100%
COMZY: That man's such an overcompensator, OMG!
STEDZY: Isn't it gay to think about man dick?
DRAPZY: It's an insult it's fine??
WILZY: no i get what the child is saying thats lwk gayer than defending him vro
STEDZY: I am not child, Wilson
WILZY: eww off ice its jacob, felix.
STEDZY: Ok. Still not child.
WILZY: whatever, felix.
DRAPZY: It's literally not gay to call another man overcompensating.
STEDZY: You think of dick over skill. Gay.
DRAPZY: Fuck off, Stedlund, you don't even know what you're talking about.
COMZY: Sted, you're so dumb that's literally not gay.
STEDZY: I would think skill over dick and I'm straight but what do I know?
WILZY: ^^^^
DRAPZY: God, Stedlund, you're so annoying. Why did you even have to come to this team?
STEDZY: I was 1st overall pick?
DRAPZY: It was a rhetorical question, Stedzy.
STEDZY: The fuck is 'rhetorical'?
DRAPZY: omfg
PIKEZY: lay of child
(Lay off the child)
JJZY: what the manchild said.
PIKEZY: THE FUCK YOU SAY TO ME?
JJZY: The fuck? I didn't know you could actually type correctly.
PIKEZY: i lok in tell dyxlecivsa ot fuck off
(I locked in and told dyslexia to fuck off)
JJZY: OHhhhhhkay whatever you say, Pike.
PIKEZY: @STEDZY A rhetorical question is a question that doesn't need an answer. Felix. -Jackie
STEDZY: Thank you, Jackie 🙂
PIKEZY: No problem, kid <3
STEDZY: :D I bring good coffee next time I see u, okay?
PIKEZY: Don't spend too much!
STEDZY: Okay
PIKEZY: Bye, S
STEDZY: Bye Jackie! Thank you for explaining rhetorical to me :D
PIKEZY: Happy to help! Giving Hayd his phone back now.
PIKEZY: i retun
(I return)
JJZY: I already miss Jackie
PIKEZY: fuk u boisisdisu
(Fuck you, Boiziau)
JJZY: Oh yes I'm Jean-Jacques Boisisdisu
PIKEZY: die
JJZY: love u too bestie
[11am, November 21st, 12 hours after the previous texts]
WILZY: felix, are you busy next friday, felix?
STEDZY: Not if you type like that am not 😲
WILZY: fine r u free next friday
STEDZY: No, my mother is coming from Sweden so I'll be having dinner with her
COMZY: Of course you're a mummy's boy 🤣
STEDZY: I haven't see her in years leave me alone
COMZY: embarrassinggggg
HOLLZY: Comeau, get it together. Imagine moving to another continent at 18 and leaving everyone you love behind.
COMZY: WHATEVER RESIDENT MUMMY'S BOY
HOLLZY: Hello, Gilbert Comeau, this is Yuna Hollander. You were saying?
COMZY: Absolutely nothing, ma'am, you have a nice day.
HOLLZY: That's what I thought.
HOLLZY: I'm back.
JJZY: Yuna is the mother of all mothers
PIKEZY: can she b my mothr mie hte jakcru
(Can she be my mother? Mine hates Jackie)
HOLLZY: This is Yuna again, of couse I can be, Hayden. You already were one of my boys. Are you still coming for dinner tomorrow? David's making chicken parmesan again!
PIKEZY: ofc miss lovely yuna
HOLLZY: It's just Yuna, sweetheart.
PIKEZY: fsietyvryyyhehhivueh turhegdi
HOLLZY: I will even buy rocky road ice cream for you! They have the brand you love.
PIKEZY: u thr best
(You're the best)
HOLLZY: Aw, thank you, Hayden.
HOLLZY: David will make extra for you to take home for Jackie.
PIKEZY: jaksei ssy thnks and u hsldnt
(Jackie says thanks and you shouldn't)
HOLLZY: It's no problem! David loves having something to do!
PIKEZY: 😀
HOLLZY: ☺️
PIKEZY: oihrinsfiojcgrfkacf
HOLLZY: Shane back, she's gone back to being my manager.
PIKEZY: Give her a fucking hug for me or else.
HOLLZY: Jesus Christ, okay!
HOLLZY: When did you learn how to type?
JJZY: That's what I've been saying! Pike is so weirddd
PIKEZY: ok dick
LAIZY: any1 have spare tape i ran out n cba to buy more for practise
HOLLZY: Akseli Laine, what kind of team do you think this is? There'll be a new roll in your locker by sunrise.
JJZY: LMFAOOO I TOLD U GUYS HE WAS FUNNY
LAIZY: Wdym sunrise
LAIZY: r u batman
STEDZY: :0
HOLLZY: No, children, I am not Batman.
JJZY: LMFAOOO
WILZY: "Children" like u rnt 4 yrs older than them
HOLLZY: And…. bag skates for you!
WILZY: Shit.
WILZY: 💔
HOLLZY: They're both 18, they're children.
MIITZY: The day we get rookies born after 2000 I will retire.
JJZY: Oh nooo I was born in 2001..
MIITZY: So you're 12 and Katie's a pedophile?
JJZY: NO I MEAN I WANT YOU TO RETIRE
MIITZY: Fuck no.
JJZY: ihy
MIITZY: Ok.
JJZY: dry ass
MIITZY: Why do you look at my ass?
JJZY: I know what you're doing you sick fuck.
MIITZY: Haha.
JJZY: My 86 year old grandma types better than u oml
MIITZY: I do this to annoy you.
KOCHZY: I can confirm!
MIITZY: I can't stop reading your name as cock
MIITZY: God strike me down.
KOCHZY: I seriously hope you get hit in the face with a puck next time you're in goal you inbred.
MIITZY: Awww you're so nice to me!
KOCHZY: I'm so serious please get a black eye.
DRAPZY: I mean… your last name does look like it should be pronounced 'cock'..
KOCHZY: HOW MANY GUCKIGN TIMDS DO I AHVE TO SAY IT DPRONOUNCED 'K-OH-K' LIKE COKE LIKE THE DRINK NOT COKC I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL
WILZY: not that deep queen
PIKEZY: i wenr ousid an soemoene rcodgnised me 😀
(I went outside and someone recognised me)
JJZY: I am shocked!
PIKEZY: Dear Asshole, I hope you get castrated on the ice. Love, Hayden.
JJZY: Right.
PIKEZY: no bof of rhm
(No, both of them.)
JJZY: That is NOT what I meant Spikey
PIKEZY: u pmo
JJZY: Thx?
SCHNEIDZY: Can somone help me with forms later today?
PIKEZY: someone*
JJZY: yk ur fucked when PIKE corrects you.
HOLLZY: I can, Schneider. 3pm?
SCHNEIDZY: Yes that works! Danke!
HOLLZY: No problem, Child #3
SCHNEIDZY: OOOO there's an order
LAIZY: what is the order 😇
HOLLZY: Felix is Child #1
HOLLZY: Akseli is Child #2
HOLLZY: Oliver is Child #3
HOLLZY: AND Antoine is Child #4
BEAUZY: I AM NOT EVEN CHILD
HOLLZY: Whatever, child.
LAIZY: hey mother hollzy how do u get pepsi out of white couch
HOLLZY: I think I just had an aneurysm.
HOLLZY: I will be at your house in 17 minutes, Aneurysm Giver.
LAIZY: Okkaay
STEDZY: I hate Beau
BEAUZY: ALL I SAY WAS THAT YOU HAVE GREY EYES
STEDZY: Grey is ugly f u
[New Group Chat Created]
[Felix added Oliver, Antoine, Akseli and Shane]
[Felix changed the group chat name to Mother + The Kids]
Shane: What the fuck
Felix: mother
[Felix changed Shane's chat name to Mother (SH)]
[Felix changed Felix's name to Child #1 (FS)]
[Child #1 (FS) changed Akseli's name to Child #2 (AL)]
[Child #1 (FS) changed Oliver's name to Child #3 (OS)]
[Child #1 (FS) changed Antoine's name to Child #4 (AB)]
Child #2 (AL): What tf is this
Child #1 (FS): It says in group name
Child #2 (AL): I can read that but why, Steddy
Child #3 (OS): wtaf
Mother (SH): Why?
Child #1 (FS): So we can ask stupid question without Drapeau being mean
Mother (SH): Okay then, Child 1.
Child #2 (AL): Whos ur fav child this week mother shaneeee
Mother (SH): Felix. You have given me an aneurysm. Oliver's getting me to do forms. Yes, I like forms but God. Antoine's not done anything favourites worthy.
Child #1 (FS): YESSSS WOOHOOOOOO
Child #2 (AL): fair
[POV: FELIX]
[Private message between Felix and Shane]
Felix: You really dont mind I like boys?
Shane: It doesn't affect the team. It doesn't affect me. So be yourself.
Felix: Okay!
Felix: I probably shouldn't tell Comeau or Drapeau, should I?
Shane: Probably not. They're very old school people.
Felix: Ok
Shane: You okay?
Felix: Why do people see gay love and get mad or hateful?
Shane: Bigotry. Hatred. Sometimes even jealousy. The HIV/AIDS epidemic. They feel it threatens their masculinity.
Shane: It's all bullshit though, Felix. Be who you are.
Shane: Be your true self, bigots will always be around to hate on everything.
Shane: Rise above them.
Shane: Tell whoever you want to at first.
Shane: The others in the "Mother + The Kids" group don't seem homophobic. I know you're closest to Akseli and I know most countries on that side of Europe are homophobic but Finland isn't. I'm also pretty sure he has a crush on Cliff Marleau.
Felix: Oh
Felix: ty
Shane: No problem!
Felix: I think I'm gonna tell group over text now
Felix: If I tell in person will cry
Shane: I'm sending food to your house.
Felix: You don't have to
Shane: I know I don't have to
Shane: I want to.
Felix: Okay.
[POV: SHANE]
[Mother + The Kids]
Child #1 (FS): @Everyone heyyy all of u come onlineee i got smth important to sayyyyyy
Child #2 (AL): here lix
Child #3 (OS): What?
Child #4 (AB): ?
Child #1 (FS): I'm gay
Child #2 (AL): Ok u still owe me 20 bucks tho
Child #3 (OS): Okay
Child #3 (OS): Still love ya Steddy
Child #4 (AB): What Olly said! I still adore u Sted and I am bringing u cookies tonight cus u were very brave :)))))
Child #2 (AL): O shit
Child #2 (AL): I still love youuuuu obv
Child #2 (AL): Can I get my 20 bucks now?
[POV: ILYA / LILY]
[November 27th 2013]
[Montreal Metros' Better Half]
Julesss: Jacob just told me that the Montreal 20 and youngers made a fucking gc with Shane called 'Mother + The Kids'
Marcy: Stedlund, Schneider, Laine and Beaulier, right?
Julesss: YES OMFG 😭
Jackie: Ugh thats so cute
Jackie: Shane is a very maternal man ngl
LILZY: i know he always tell me off for smoking
LILZY: 'it so bad for your lungs' omfg whatever
LILZY: getting hit and boarded 5 times a game isnt good for u either
Marcy: LMFAO
LILZY: i am so serious he gets boarded halfway to australia by rozanov and he shake it and he acts like me smoking kill 1 mil people each time
Marcy: Babes I think you mean 'shakes it off' because 'shake it' sounds like he shakes his ass
LILZY: PLS WHATEVER GOD OUT THER PLS LET SHANE HOLLANDER SHAKE ASS ON ICE AFTER GETTING BOARDED 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Marcy: Down girl!
LILZY: his ass just so perfect
LILZY: if u think his ass good clothed u should see it bare
LILZY: yummy yummy
LILZY: it's so perfectly round and so pretty
Talia: Girl ur such a simp
LILZY: what is simp
LILZY: googled it
LILZY: i am not simp
LILZY: i jus like thatass
Marcy: I don't like that your typing got worse after mentioning his ass
Camisole: EW U FREAK
Camisole: OUR HEAD WAG IS A FREAK
LILZY: i am not touching i am shaking
LILZY: its so perfect
Marcy: At least you aren't masturbating while texting us
LILZY: brb texting perfect ass man
Marcy: EW
Camisole: girl i do not need to know that
Mali: tell us how it goes when ur back lilzy
Camisole: Ew.
Mali: you rlly dont wanna know how virgin mary captain shane hollander sexts?
Camisole: hmm
Camisole: You have a gooood point
Mali: exactly
Marcy: This is reminding me how much I miss sexting
Marcy: #CHILDBIRTH
LILZY: i pause with hollander cus wdym MISS IT
LILZY: is drapeau refusing cus u had baby
Marcy: Yes
Marcy: The doctors cleared us to fuck two months ago, Lily.
Marcy: I am going insane
Marcy: MTL doesn't even do the no playoffs sex thing.
LILZY: I have many words for Patrice Drapeau. None of them good.
LILZY: Be right fucking back.
Marcy: Now I'm fucking scared.
Mali: i love this crazy and ominous bitch so much
[Private Chat between Lily and Jane]
Lily: get me into chat with team now
Lily: or just drapeau
Lily: now
Jane: Why?
Lily: i have many words for drapeau and team should hear
Lily: i use 2 diff phones pls
Lily: boston team has work phone u have personal phone plleasee they wont know
Jane: Ok fine
Jane: ONLY because you have two different phones, you asshole.
[POV: JJ]
[Group Chat created]
[Shane added +7 495 737-73-24 and 23 others to the Group]
[Shane renamed the group to Lily has words???]
Hayden: THE BOSTON LILY?
+7 495 737-73-24: da.
+7 495 737-73-24: Patrice Sifroi Drapeau.
Drapeau: What the fuck?
[Contact Saved: Boston Lily]
Boston Lily: You shitty husband.
Shane: It's "You are a shitty husband"
Boston Lily: Thank u perfect ass
Shane: Call me that again and I block you.
Boston Lily: Ugh fine.
Boston Lily: Patrice you are a shit husband
Comeau: Why do the rest of us have to be here
Boston Lily: peer pressure and humiliation.
Shane: What?
Boston Lily: Silly Canadian boy you didn't see that!
Boston Lily: Go back to practising weak backhand
Shane: Block button gets more tempting everytime you talk.
Boston Lily: kotenok
Shane: ??
JJ: Google says that means kitten?
Boston Lily: He is baby kitten
Shane: Lily, kittens are baby cats.
Boston Lily: Fuck off Albert Einstein
Shane: I'm shocked you even know who that is.
Boston Lily: I may have skipped school a lot to do coke but that doesn't mean I'm stupid!
Shane: You did WHAT?
Boston Lily: 🤫🤫
Hayden: 🙉
JJ: Hollzy where did u get a girl like this
Shane: idfk
Boston Lily: I found him on road in box labelled 'FREE KITTENS PLEASE TAKE'
Shane: I hate you so much
JJ: I lowkey agree with Lily, Hollzy is a kitten
Boston Lily: Thank you, Jean-Jacques Boiziau.
JJ: I never said my name how tf u know who I am
Boston Lily: Kitten tell me
Shane: You threatened to castrate me via biting them off
Boston Lily: Ugh
Hayden: btorsnon liyl u re scarue i refpect fuck rtut of u
(Boston Lily, you are scary, I respect the fuck out of you.)
Boston Lily: Fuck are you saying
Boston Lily: One of your 4 kids on u?
Hayden: I onlty ahve 2
(I only have 2)
Boston Lily: Ok loser
Boston Lily: I am still learning language and I text better
Hayden: 😒
Boston Lily: Jackie is really the better Pike
Hayden: no arguemenrs here
(No arguments here)
Boston Lily: At least we agree on something, 15th best metro
Hayden: WTF
Boston Lily: @Drapeau is 22nd best
Boston Lily: Tsk
Drapeau: What did I do?
Boston Lily: Refuse to fuck wife
Hayden: WOAH
JJ: That was not at all what I thought this was gonna be.
JJ: Lily you sort of scare me
Boston Lily: Aww thanks
Drapeau: Wdym?
Boston Lily: Can you read? I know you're stupid but I didn't think you were that stupid.
Drapeau: Woah WTF
Boston Lily: Marceline my Queen says you refuse to fuck her after the doctors say it okay. Do I have to pay for divorce lawyer?
Drapeau: This is none of your business
Boston Lily: As Head WAG it is my business to keep the Queens happy.
Hayden: WOAAA ur hed wag?
(WOAAA ur head wag?)
Boston Lily: yes i upgrade 😎
Wilson: Hi again, Lily!
Boston Lily: hi jacob
Wilson: thank u 4 the mug! i really will be mr julie
Boston Lily: 😎
Wilson: also that wine????
Boston Lily: only ~3,000 usd each is nothing
Wilson: Holy fucking shit
Boston Lily: What? Is nothing! I am milionaire
Shane: Stfu
Boston Lily: UGH
JJ: Ofc Shane's girl is a millionaire that just fits so well
Boston Lily: NOT SHANES GIRL
Boston Lily: and if were oficial shane'd be my boy i would not be his girl
Boston Lily: tut tut tut
Shane: You're literally such an asshole
Boston Lily: if i send u boob pic will u forgive
Shane: No.
JJ: Match made in Boston
Boston Lily: We met in Seskatchywon
Shane: Saskatchewan.
Boston Lily: Fuck canada and ur stupid spellings
Shane: You're such a baby
Boston Lily: yess give me that boobie suckle suckle
Shane: What. The. Fuck.
Hayden: 😱
JJ: LMFAO VIRGIN MARY HOLLANDER GOT A FREAK
Boston Lily: 👅
Shane: Can you just not?
Boston Lily: LET MY FREAK FLAG FLYYYYY
Shane: If you stop I'll do the thing again.
Boston Lily: 🤐
Shane: Thank you.
Comeau: Omg Virgin Mary Hollander is a….. freak????
JJ: Wilson u owe me 30 bucks
Wilson: Crap
Shane: YOU BET ON THAT?
JJ: of course.
JJ: We bet on literally everything we can 💔
Hayden: onevce bet pn hwen jj wd goanna shtri
(Once bet on when JJ was gonna shit)
Shane: Do I even wanna ask?
Olsson: i won
Shane: Of fucking course you did
Boston Lily: Can I talk yet? 🥺
Shane: No
Boston Lily: POZHALUYSTA 🥺
Shane: No.
Boston Lily: POZHALUYSTA KOTENOK 🥺
Shane: Calling me kitten just removed any chance you had.
Boston Lily: check messages
Shane: Fine.
…
Shane: Ok you can talk.
Boston Lily: YES
JJ: The power of nudes 🥹
Boston Lily: my nudes maybe
Boston Lily: not urs
Boston Lily: overcompesater
Shane: Overcompensator*
Boston Lily: spasibo bolshoye
Shane: Yw
Boston Lily: ?
Shane: You're welcome
Boston Lily: OHhhhh
Boston Lily: Back to originul poynt, Drapeau be better husband
Drapeau: Learn to speak the language then you can talk to me.
Shane: original point*
Shane: Also, Drapeau… that name isn't English. Leave her alone she is trying.
Felix: Boston Lily, he is always like this! I am sorry for him..
Boston Lily: Ah.. Drapeau is dick!
Boston Lily: who r u? i don't have number saved
Boston Lily: and call me lily
Felix: Felix Stedlund
Boston Lily: you! your a good rookie
Felix: Thank you!
Boston Lily: you say is always like this?
Felix: Yes!
Felix:
Boston Lily: Omfg
Boston Lily: Drapeau could you be any shittier?
[POV: FELIX]
[Private Chat between Felix and Boston Lily]
Felix: He's very homophobic.
Boston Lily: I know the Bears, I get one hit Drapeau in ball.
Felix: just one?
Boston Lily: yes so only half balls hurt but hurt 10x more
Felix: You're scary.
Boston Lily: spasibo!
Felix: 😨
Boston Lily: 😇
[POV: JJ]
[Lily has words???]
Boston Lily: Drapeau.
Drapeau: What?
Boston Lily: Prepare.
Drapeau: I'm telling Marcy to stop talking to you.
Boston Lily: TELLING?
Boston Lily: WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK CAN TELL WOMAN TO DO ANYTHING?
Boston Lily: YOU FUCKED IN HEAD
Boston Lily: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
Boston Lily: YOU LIKE MAKING WOMEN MISERABLE?
Boston Lily: ME AND MARCY GETTING CLOSE DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TAKE FRIENDS BECAUSE ONE CALL U OUT ON YOUR SHIT?
Shane: Lily calm down
Boston Lily: Fine.
[Boston Lily left this chat]
Shane: I genuinely agree with Lily.
Shane: Not in a 'oo Lily we fuck let me just agree'
Shane: In a 'Oh I actually agree with this' way
Drapeau: Whatever.
Comeau: …
Drapeau: Gil seriously? If someone said this to you about Amie wouldn't you say anything?
Comeau: I wouldn't get into this situ in the first place?
Comeau: I wouldn't refuse to fuck my wife.
JJ: #ISTANDWITHLILY
[Felix and 6 others reacted to this with a 👆]
JJ: yes we know u agree hayden two kids
Hayden: 😠
[POV: ILYA / LILY]
[Montreal Metros' Better Half]
Marcy: Lily what did you do why is Pat so angry
LILZY: Ask him what he say.
LILZY: he tell me learn language before talk to him + said he'd TELL u to stop talk to me
LILZY: ickle stedlund also say drapeau dick to him because he still learn the language
Marcy: He fucking WHAT?
LILZY:
LILZY: this about rozanov
LILZY: ickle stedlund didnt give all convo but yk
Marcy: THAT BASTARD.
LILZY: 🤷🏼♀️
Jackie: Can we circle back to when Lily told us Drapeau said he'd *tell* Marcy what to do?
Talia: 100%
Mali: wtaf
Jackie: Lily can we get the screenie of that?
LILZY: what is screenie?
Jackie: Screenshot
LILZY: i left group but i can get stedlund to give?
Jackie: Please do!!
LILZY: Ok!
[Private Chat between Lily and ICKLE STEDLUND]
Lily: can i have screenie of drapeau say he tell marcy what to do?
ICKLE STEDLUND: Sure!
ICKLE STEDLUND: 
ICKLE STEDLUND: Whole thing.
ICKLE STEDLUND: Why you ask?
Lily: showing marcy
ICKLE STEDLUND: Okay! :) I hope she's gonna be okay..
Lily: aw ur sweet
Lily: she will b
[Montreal Metros' Better Half]
LILZY:
LILZY: Here.
LILZY: felix send whole thing
LILZY: idk how to make smaller..
LILZY: felix also says he hopes ur ok
Marcy: Aww Lils u really went far to defend me
Marcy: Felix my baby omfg
Marcy: Tell him I'm okay
LILZY: told
LILZY: i was angry
LILZY: i hate how i speak and he make me feel bad ✌️
Marcy: Now I feel homicidal
Mali: me too
Marcy: omg he just tried telling me not to speak to Lily so I'm making him sleep on the couch.
Talia: QUEEN
Jackie: I can't help giggilng at Shane's response in the screenie
Jackie: "Lily, calm down 😐"
LILZY: LOL
LILZY: made me giggle too
LILZY: him after i leave tho 🥹
Jackie: He really is the sweetest man alive
Talia: such a sweetpeaugghh
Marcy: I'm so sorry for what Pat said to you, Lils
LILZY: is ok. i react bad i know
LILZY: he remind me of someone with the tell her what to do thing
LILZY: idk
Marcy: Who did he remind you of?
...
Marcy: Don't wanna talk about it?
LILZY: nyet
Marcy: Okay! You don't have to. ☺
LILZY: spasibo
Talia: You okay?
LILZY: da
Talia: You're only speaking Russian, are you actually okay?
LILZY: 👍
Talia: Open your door in 20 minutes.
[20 Minutes Later..]
LILZY: [File Attached: a photo of a plastic delivery bag with vodka and chocolate cake in]
LILZY: u the goat
Talia: 😸
LILZY: thank u sm
Talia: Don't mention it
Talia: 💜
LILZY: 💚
[November 31st 2013 - 12pm]
Camisole: Officially 12 hours until Christmas season!!!!
Talia: AAAA
Marcy: Oh you're extra early this year…
Camisole: CHRISTMAASSSSSSSSSSS
Jackie: Oml if you blast Jingle Bells during every car ride throughout the whole of December I will actually kill you.
Camisole: Ugh fine
Marcy: I don't plan on doing shit until the 16th earliest
Camisole: You're no fun at all
Jackie: Girl.
Talia: santa clausssssss!!!!
LILZY: shit the canada christmas traditions are stupid
LILZY: дед мороз!!!!
Mali: who
LILZY: дед мороз brings presents and he is accompanied by снегурочка his granddaughter
Mali: so the guy is ur version of santa?
LILZY: basicly
LILZY: he translate to grandfather frost
LILZY: but he called father frost
LILZY: морозко!!
Mali: woah
LILZY: we celebrate 7 january!
Mali: poor u u have to wait even longer for santa / morozko to come
LILZY: 💔
Camisole: I just screamed jingle bells at Miity and he almost shit 😎
Jackie: I thank god everyday that you moved off the same road
Camisole: Bitch wtf
LILZY: hollander SO boring he not do anything for christmas
Camisole: shoot him
Jackie: I'm not surprised
Jackie: WHAT