Chapter Text
It had been days.
Months?
Years?
Heeseung didn't know. Didn't even want to know. He didn't know anything, only that he lost the light of his life. The last time he saw him, he was crying on his knees in the rain, pants soaked through and causing an uncomfortable friction between the rough gravel of Jungwon's porch and the thin material of his jeans. The jeans that had followed them on countless dates and escapes from the paparazzi, but now, the flashing lights and giggles faded into a grey wall and muffled cries into the bed Jungwon used to spend more time in than his own.
Jungwon was never supposed to be the one for him. Heeseung moved when he was still too young to start school, his parents finding job opportunities far into the city where he met Jungwon.
Heeseung started his elementary school journey somewhat hopeful. Even though he was literally under the age where puberty starts and emtionally unintelligent, he at least had half a mind to know most people were in the same boat.
Class started with the teacher telling everyone to get into a circle and introduce themselves individually. While everyone was fussing to get into a circle, Heeseung had gotten lost, which, by the way, how the fuck do you get lost in a classroom but whatever. He wandered around, wondering where the fuck did everyone else go when-
"Hi, are you lost?"
The sweetest most innocent voice rang out, like a princess singing to the animals in a forest.
"Oh uh.. Yeah."
Heeseung looked down at the slightly shorter boy, cat eyes, dimples so deep if you filled them with water you'd get in your daily hydration and an addition of the Mariana Trench.
"What class are you in?"
The question went answered but Heeseung had long forgotten what it was, because after that small incident, Jungwon would show up EVERYWHERE.
In the hallways, at the cafeteria, at the nearby grocery store when Heeseung was wearing a random ass outfit that looked like a blind person picked it and messy hair, you name it. But it's not like Heeseung minded too much, they were gradually getting closer and closer and- by the start of middle school, they had become inseparable. They slept over at each other's houses, shared umbrellas, went on walks late at night and talked about their dreams for the future. They even shared straws and water bottles so that was basically a declaration of love for 12 year olds.
The memories of their sweet childhood made Heeseung cry even more, head stinging from the sheer force of the sobs racking through his body. The energy he didn't have using itself to push Heeseung up. His pillow was soaked, Jungwon's clutched tight to his chest. Despite the king sized bed in another room, Jungwon had always insisted to use the queen bed pushed up against the wall corner. His face towards the wall and his back enveloped in the warmth of Heeseung's chest. How could he have done this?
Jungwon sat at home, sitting on his tear soaked bed. Heeseung's hoodie with cigarette burns on the sleeves and the faint scent of cologne and body lotion clinging to the worn down fabric. He chewed on the uneven drawstrings Heeseung had accidently lit on fire that one time when the wind was harsh and blowing the flame from his lighter with YJW engraved into it not only onto the cigarette but the hoodie string too. Jungwon scolded him for being too careless while Heeseung laughed and ruffled his perfect blonde hair. The zipper jammed constantly but Jungwon never minded. No matter how many times it got stuck, Jungwon was patient. It reminded him of their relationship. Heeseung had the stress of being an artist, he drank, smoked sometimes. Jungwon told him off for that too.
"You can't be a singer and kill your lungs at the same time Hee, you'll lose your voice."
"Live a little babe, but I'll cut it down, only for you."
They made their mistakes sure, but underneath was love so pure, it could make sugar seem bitter.
Those memories vanished as Jungwon's tears drenched the sleeves of the hoodie that had lasted as long as their relationship.
He thought about Heeseung and he hated himself for it.
Would he want it back?
Did he even remember it?
Why was he even still thinking about that cheater?
Love was strange, it can hurt someone so bad they become too scared to seek it ever again. Coward-like maybe, but it could also be the one thing to save someone. Love so precious it could pull someone out of the depths of darkness and bring out the light. Like the sun re-emerging from the clouds after a storm.
Jungwon hated himself for missing Heeseung's warmth in his bed, smooth lips and white teeth against his back while Jungwon tried to capture it on his phone for his instagram. They were the couple everyone was jealous of. With Heeseung's fame and Jungwon's looks, they really were a power couple.
The thought gave him a bittersweet pride, but it wasn't enough. He was tired, and if he had to sleep without the love of his life, at least he had the hoodie.
He wore it to sleep, Heeseung appearing in his dreams. Or nightmares.
But for now, they both slept in tear stained beds, a piece of each other a measly substitute for the person they loved so far away.