Chapter Text
Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)
james: TEDDY
teddy bear: what
james: it's TIME
teddy bear: time for what
james: we've been going out for a YEAR, you HEATHEN, don't tell me you forgot
teddy bear: ....james thats next week
james: NO BUT
james: today marks the start of the Week I Spent Trying To Ask You Out, so we have to celebrate all week obvi
teddy bear: ur ridiculous
james: smh i'm going to enlighten the gc and see if they'll help me celebrate
teddy bear: james. its our anniversary. not the group's anniversary
james: teddy honey
james: we created the group baso
james: it kinda is
teddy bear: fairs
Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD
james: good morning my dearest friends and family
james: THIS is a VERY SPECIAL week
smol: its the week i stop checking the messages in this gc
future brother in law: What is it?
future brother in law: It’s not your birthday is it?
snakey mcsnakeface: no and if he tries to tell you it is ignore him
james: N O it’s my anniversary week
teddy bear: james please
james: today marks the beginning of the week i spent desperately trying to ask ted out
the clever one: so its also the anniversary of when i decided life was no longer worth living
moon moon: COLD
james: wow rose i am literally crying
the clever one: @teddy ?????
teddy bear: no he’s fine
twin 1: anniversary [anɪˈvəːs(ə)ri] noun: the date on which an event took place or an institution was founded in a previous year.
twin 2: anniversary [anɪˈvəːs(ə)ri] noun: the date on which an event took place or an institution was founded in a previous year.
james: DID YOU TWO SEND THAT AT THE EXACT SAME TIME
james: ARE YOU TOGETHER
smol: no lysander is with me
smol: this happens more than you might expect
the clever one: does anyone else kinda want to lock them in separate rooms and do experiments
moon moon: ROSE NO
Chat: snakey mcsnakeface (Albus Potter)
james: ok i was lowkey joking in the gc but i acc want to do something special for ted this week
snakey mcsnakeface: sometimes i think you might not be as fucking sappy as some may believe
snakey mcsnakeface: but then i remember that u totally are
snakeymcsnakeface: hmm. take him out to hogsmead? idk dude you know ted best
james: yea true. hmMMm
snakey mcsnakeface: scorp actually just had a good idea - you could recreate one of the things u did to try and ask ted out bc they were W I L D
snakey mcsnakeface: tbh i just want to see you try and dye his food pink again
james: that is a GOOD IDEA
james: KISS SCORPIUS FOR ME
snakey mcsnakeface: um? no
james: fair enough
james has created the chat: HELP ME
james has added: the clever one, snakey mcsnakeface, smol, future brother in law
james: u have all been added to this bc you were a part of the plot to Get Teddy To Date Me last year
james: WE'RE RECREATING THIS SHIT
smol: for fucks sake i have practice exams this week
james: you're like 12 you can fail them
smol: JAMES
the clever one: tell my brother to fail his exams one more time and u get hexed my friend : )
james: ok just bc im scared of rosie u dont have to help
smol: nah it's just charms and herbology and im p good at both so i'll help
james: E X C E L L E NT
james: ok so y'all remember what happened right
the clever one: yes and i sort of wish i didnt
james: rosie. shh now
the clever one: smh
james: tomorrow, it begins
snakey mcsnakeface: i dont understand how we keep getting dragged into james' plans
james: this was ur plan snake boy
future brother in law: actually it was mine
james: same thing
james: LISTEN we need to figure out which of these we can recreate
the clever one: none of them
smol: lysander says that if the puff common room gets evacuated again he will kill you
james: that was a mistake
snakey mcsnakeface: idk what you thought would happen when you went in there with all those fancy fire spells
future brother in law: Spells that you really should have practiced
james: i thought he’d kiss me
snakey mcsnakeface: and did he????
james: no but he smiled and it made my heart dizzy
future brother in law: Aww
smol: don’t encourage him
james: ok so that’s off the table
james: what did i do that was harmless
the clever one: very little
the clever one: but the nighttime picnic on the quidditch pitch was cute
future brother in law: What was that??
james: i told him i needed help with practice (LOL OBVIOUS TRICK I’M BRILLIANT) and when he got there i had loads of food and blankets and stuff
smol: as long as you don’t make us play the music again
james: nah i got my speakers fixed you guys are good
future brother in law: Why did you guys agree to that?
the clever one: james said he couldn’t do it without us there and we all wanted him to stop talking about teddy
james: fair enough
james: also it worked he said yes
future brother in law: I can’t believe I missed this
snakey mcsnakeface: yeah i was too awkward to bring you to anything romantic
future brother in law: I missed your singing
the clever one: you dodged a bullet
james: ok its settled im gonna do the picnic on the quidditch pitch
snakey mcsnakeface: dont get kicked off by prof longbottom again
snakey mcsnakeface: he'll tell dad and you'll get a bollocking
james: dammit yea can someone distract him with plants or smth
smol: you're lucky i appreciate you james
smol: i'll go ask him about the practice exam
james: HUGO YOU TREASURE
james: ok sorted
Chat: the clever one (Rose Weasley)
the clever one: jamesy are you nervous
james: NO
the clever one: you so are
the clever one: YOU'RE ADORABLE
james: I'M NOT ADORABLE I'M ALMOST AN ADULT
the clever one: im gonna make you into a meme
james: rosie............. rosie no
Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD
the clever one: petition to make james into a meme
the clever one: [screenshotjames.jpeg]
twin 1: why is he like this
james: ROSIE TEDDY IS IN THIS CHAT
teddy bear: um
the clever one: ..................shit
snakey mcsnakeface: i'm DECEASED rosie why have you turned into james
smol: ROSE
twin 1: james your bullshit is infectious
the clever one: ugh hugo tell our parents i love them
the clever one: and let my arithmancy professor know he was shit
smol: will do :(
james: happens to the best of us rosie
the clever one: don’t make this worse
teddy bear: this is so cute i’m crying
james: angry emoji
teddy bear: O H ok i get it
teddy bear: what are you guys all talking abt??? Rose didn’t send anything
future brother in law: That’s the spirit
snakey mcsnakeface: screenshotting all of this
twin 2: this is the highest form of entertainment in this groupchat
james: ya haven’t left tho have ya???
twin 2: nah
snakey mcsnakeface: there comes a time when you just have to embrace it and accept james for who he is
moon moon: but still rat him out to our parents when he does something dumb
james: lily i hate you you’re the worst
moon moon: screenshotted and forwarded
james: W O W
Chat: teddy bear (Teddy Lupin)
james: sooooo
james: assumedly u know my Plan now
teddy bear: james,,,,,, jam e s,,, light of my life
teddy bear: it is FINE
teddy bear: it doesnt have to be a secret i still appreciate it
teddy bear: but also can it not be on the quidditch pitch i really do not want to get my head boy title Revoked
james: fair enough my dear. puff common room ok??
teddy bear: as long as u dont cause it to be evacuated again
james: OK THAT WAS ONE TIME
Chat: SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD
james: it is all good guys
james: altho rosie watch out
teddy bear: rosie hes not gonna do anything otherwise he'll have me to deal with and also hes scared of u
james: T E D D Y L U P I N
james: you TRAITOR
smol: james looks like hes about to explode lmao
smol: OK TEDDY GOT JAMES TO FORGIVE HIM IN A WAY THAT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN IN PUBLIC GUYS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TUTORING ME
smol: Why Does This Always Happen
snakey mcsnakeface: this group chat, smh
future brother in law: It is pretty great though, isn't it
moon moon: damn right it is. love u fuckers
james: HAPPY EMOJI