Chapter Text
Frank wanted to run, wanted to hide, to wish away the feeling of relief and euphoria that flooded his body, leaving him lightheaded at Robby’s sudden appearance, lifting the heavy feeling pressing down on Frank in a constant pressure; he could not remember the last seven years without. He learned to function with it, to live with it and make a life for himself despite it.
He wanted to run, but he didn’t. Standing his ground and focusing on Luka’s steady presence, the older man gave his shoulder a light squeeze when he turned him around, dragging him back with a quip about how if he suffered, Frank suffered. Luka had known from the beginning that Frank was marked, had seen the mark that took up the majority of his inner forearm in a tattoo of fate.
It didn’t take him long to put the pieces together, and Frank was proud to tell his therapist he didn’t have a panic attack when Luka asked him about his relationship with Robby. She would be proud of him now, at least before she decided they needed to get back to work on Frank’s myriad of problems.
“Dr Robinavitch.”
“Frank.”
“It’s good to see you. How have you been?”
Right, civil polite conversation. He could do this. Say hi, look at his soul mate that never wanted him, never wanted any soul mate in the eye and then walk away at a sedate pace. He would not run. He was no longer Robby; he was Doctor Robinavitch, a stranger. He did not know this man anymore, and this man did not know him. He could do this.
“I’m good.” Robby began slowly, with a small warm smile. “I heard you’re an attending now.”
Frank knew it was not a dig, so he let it go. “I am.” He began looking at Luka, who gave him the tinniest nod of encouragement. “I still have a lot to learn, but Luka is a good teacher, and I’m still part of the PHP.”
God, he could kick himself for adding that. It was no business of Robby’s what he was doing anymore, and he was sure the man didn’t need the reminder of Frank’s lowest moment, of what broke him. He was surprised by Robby’s reaction, expecting the man to shut down or move on with a sharpness only Frank would read.
“That’s really great, Frank, I’m sure it’s hard work, so it’s great you’re still doing it.”
“It’s his last year.” Luka supplied, looking at Abby, who was watching Frank and Robby with interest. Frank followed Luka’s gaze, missing the slight annoyance that settled on his former boss’s face when Luka’s face.
“It’s why I transferred out ot the PTMC.” He supplied easily. He knew Abby’s speciality, he knew what she saw. “Not my best move.”
“Rarely is, but you won’t be the first or the last.”
“That’s true,” Robby added, and for a moment Frank could have sworn it looked like something eerily close to pride in Robby’s eyes, at the progress he's made.
“Right, main reason we’re here, besides ambushing Luka.” The tall silver-haired man let out a groan. “I am in town for just a couple of days, and Robby and his husband have invited me for dinner, and we would love it if Luka and you would come.”
Husband? Oh.
He turned to Robby, who was now wearing a small, slightly sheepish smile. The information burned hot and painful, but Frank smiled back. He had done too much work on himself to let this rip at him, to let the jealousy build. It was there, along with the hurt and would for a long while, but he would get past it.
“Oh, um, congratulations. Anyone I know?”
He prayed that it wasn’t, he prayed that it was.
“Dennis Whitaker.”
Of fucking course. It was obvious even then. Frank had hated him then and was still content to hate him until his therapist pointed out he didn’t know him.
He could let it go.
“I see. Makes sense. I’m glad you two found each other.” He meant it despite everything. It was pathetic to wish for Robby to have figured it out, to figure out that Frank had belonged to him, still belonged to him, and hope that Robby would belong to him too.
“It became a pretty easy call when we found out we were soulmates.”
Frank would let him go.
“I heard that happens.” He smiled at Robby and turned back to Abby, forcing himself not to cry. It still hurts. “Thank you for the lovely invitation, but I won’t be able to get a sitter on such late notice.”
He watched Abby’s curiosity shift to interest, “sitter?”
Frank forces himself to look at Robby, to answer his question, taking note of the confused frown on his face. “Yeah, little girl.”
“Ah, I see. That’s great, Frank.”
“Yeah, she is.” He agreed, a real smile warming her face at the thought of his little girl with her round cheeks and round eyes, bright and curious and full of opinions. “Determined to make my life as interesting as possible.”
“Like father, like daughter.” Luka murnered under his breath, getting a look from Abby. “He insisted on working right until he went into labour. Thought I would have to deliver myself.”
Abby chuckled at that. “You would have been fine.” She assured, getting an eye roll from Luka.
Frank shrugged at Robby’s look, a silent “some things never change.” The bearded man laughed weakly at that. Frank can’t help but scratch the back of his neck. “You and Dennis have-”
“Yeah, two boys, Theo and Oscar. Theo is four and interested in everything, and Oscar is thirteen months and just learned to walk.”
“Cool, man. I’m happy for you.” He meant it. Frank had so much to boast to his therapist about.
"Hey, Frank?”
They were interrupted by one of the handful of fresh interns, wide-eyed and fresh. “Can I get your help on-”
Frank doesn’t let him finish, grabbing the lifeline thrown to him. “Yeah, absolutely. Abby, it was nice to meet you. Dr Robinavitch.” He disappears before any of them can say anything more. The pressing ache returns, and Frank sighs in relief, feeling normal again. Luka doesn’t press him on anything, just gives Frank a look and a “good job” and moves on. He’s finishing his last charting of the day, anxious to get home and get back to his routine of Lilah and laundry and everything else, when his phone buzzes.
Unknown Number: “It was really good to see you again, Frank.”
He had deleted Robby’s number, but now, as he stares at the number, he has to acknowledge he still has some memories. He’s tempted to text back wrong number, but he knows he would regret it if he did.
F: “Thanks.”
He doesn’t put ‘you too’. Another small victory.
Unknown Number: “Would you be willing to meet for coffee sometime? I really fucked things up back then, and I can’t make it right, but I would like to apologise in person and maybe catch up.”
Frank stares at the message and puts his phone away. He is still looking at it two days later, over his morning coffee on his day off, watching Lilah move around the living room on chubby legs, babbling loudly to herself. He takes a deep breath and finally settles on a response.
F: “I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet, tbh. I don’t know when I will be.”
He watches three dots appear and disappear, followed by nothing. Frank gives up an hour later. It’s an hour and a half, and he’s on the way to the closet park with Lilah when his phone buzzes.
Unknown number: “Just coffee then. We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. I’m serious about wanting to catch up sometime.”
F: “I remember Dennis wasn’t the biggest fan of mine” Frank knew that was also an understatement. “Would he be okay with us getting coffee?”
Unknown number: “Yes. Would you be more comfortable if he were there?”
F: “That might be pretty weird, man. I have to ask, why the fuck are you reaching out now?”
He doesn’t expect a reply, and for a while, he thinks he’s right. That Robby would back down immediately when called out, when he didn’t get his way, when Frank didn’t immediately say yes.
Still, in spite of all of that, it hurt. He missed him. Missed his touch, his smell, the sound of him. He was missing a piece of himself, and he learned to live with it, but it hurt all the same.
Unknown number: “I wish it were something profound, Frank, I do, but honestly, I had to put in a lot of work before I could get to this point. It took a lot to let go of the anger at you and myself to reach out, knowing that I wouldn’t send us right back there if I did.”
Once again, Frank is floored.
F: “...that’s great, man. Give me a couple more days to think on it. This is a lot to process tbh, and that last day was not great.”
Unknown number: “I was a fucking mess, and you deserved better.”
F: “I did. I know I fucked up, but I deserved help, maybe not understanding, but help and not to have to figure it out alone.”
F: “I can’t do this right now. If you’re still interested in catching up, text me in a couple of days; otherwise, just delete my number, Dr Robinavitch and lets all just move on.”
Frank saves Robby's number once again and puts it on do not disturb, at least for a couple more days, promising that if Robby reached out, he would agree to nothing else to give himself closure. He would never have his soul mate, but he would still have a life.
Robby stares at Frank’s last message, the words there in black and white.
“Well?”
He slides the phone across the kitchen counter and goes back to cutting the strawberries for the boys' dinner, both of them currently napping, which was a harder and harder feat to get Theo to do as he grew, and Oscar once again refused to give up Frank’s picture. Robby understood the urge to keep it. He told Dennis everything the night he saw Frank again, everything.
He watched Dennis look surprised and then hurt when he mentioned Frank having a daughter. He couldn’t read his husband’s expression when he told Dennis what Luka said about Frank working until he went into labour, that he was a carrier, before the sadness of it all settled on his expressive face.
“I bet she’s the most beautiful little girl in the world.” Was all he said, and Robby could do nothing but hug him, knowing exactly how Dennis felt.
Robby looked up to watch Dennis read the complete text thread, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, reading and rereading Frank’s replies.
“Well, that’s better than I thought it would go.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Dennis shoots him a shit-eating grin, but Robby can see the sadness behind them. “I know it’s not what you hoped….”
He puts the knife down as Dennis walks around the island and wraps his arms around Robby, Robby returning the gesture, and the smaller, younger man buries his face against Robby’s chest.
“I don’t know what I expected. I guess I just expected more hope.”
Robby kisses the top of his head with a shuddering breath. He knows the feeling. “I know, Den, but we both know this is not going to be easy, that Frank has no reason to trust us anymore.”
“I know.” Dennis pouts, “Doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it. How do you think he’s going to react when he finds out we’re also soul mates?”
“I don’t know, baby.” It's the truth, and Dennis knows it.
“When we finally get him back, I’m going to be so fucking selfish with him. I’m going to spoil Frank and our little girl absolutely rotten.”
“We are going to spoil Frank and our little girl?”
Dennis pulls back and meets Robby's eye with an expression Robby knew too well, the one that meant that Dennis meant everything he said. “Our little girl, our soul mate's little girl, and if she’s anything like Frank, you are going to be in so much trouble.”
Robby couldn’t help but soften at the thought, his shoulders sagging. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, we both will be.”
He texts Frank two days later, letting him know how serious he was, and he could wait as long as Frank needed, that they would move at Frank’s pace.
F: “Okay, coffee.”