Chapter Text
“Do we have to wake them up right now though? They look so peaceful!”
“You’re the one who wanted to scare them away with the turrets. Now you want them to stay?”
“No, not stay. But just look at her little face! And with the ghoul using her as a pillow? They’re just so cute together. Can’t we let them sleep a bit longer?”
“Benjamin, we banished her for a reason. Let’s just give her what she wants, then send her on her way.”
“Oh all right Birdie. If you insist. WAKEY WAKEY GOOSEY!”
Lucy’s eyes flew open and Cooper immediately scrambled on all fours, snarling. Only Dogmeat took her sweet time waking up, yawning and stretching over her warm pillow, which of course was Lucy’s stomach.
“Down girl,” she said, gently pushing the ghoul off her and standing up. Lucy pretended not to notice Cooper glaring daggers at her and Dogmeat. “Birdie? Did you guys find anything useful?” She asked, dusting herself off as best as she could.
“We searched through our computer archives, and unfortunately we have some bad news.” Came Birdie’s response through the intercom.
“Oh dear. What’s the bad news?”
“There are no known vault experiments dealing with body swapping, mind switching, or anything close to what you’re looking for.”
“Oh. I see.” Lucy’s heart sank. This was her only idea for helping out her companions. If vault 4 couldn’t help them, then who could?
“Is there really nothing else in those archives?” She desperately asked. “Anything at all that could help us?”
“I’m afraid not Lucy. I’m really sorry.” Birdie sounded genuinely remorseful. Crestfallen, Lucy was about to walk away, when the voice of Overseer Benjamin spoke up.
“Birdie, why not tell them about the enc-”
“Ben, no!” Birdie’s voice cut through the air, sharp as a knife, but way too late. Lucy already had her hopes up again.
“What?” She asked excitedly. “what is it? Oh please tell me what you found.”
“It’s nothing!” Birdie quickly responded. “Forget it, really! We don’t even know if they can help you. You’d be putting yourselves in danger over nothing.”
“Danger?” Lucy furrowed her brows. “Birdie, we’re always in some kind of danger on the surface. I’m sure whatever you found is nothing we can’t handle.”
“The enclave is not something to be handled Lucy. It’s something to be avoided at all costs.”
“The enclave?” That sounded vaguely familiar. Where have I heard about the enclave before? Cooper started growling menacingly, hackles raised aggressively. If Lucy didn’t know any better, she would think that he was afraid.
“Sounds like your furry friend is quite familiar with the enclave,” Birdie spoke again. “You should listen to him, and to me. Stay away from the enclave, ok? Their experiments make vault-tec experiments look humane by comparison.”
“Goodness.” A chill ran down Lucy’s spine, but she kept a brave face on. “Thank you for the information Birdie, and for your kind advice. You’ve been very helpful.” She paused for a second. “How is Dr. Edmundson, by the way? I trust he’s healed from the…jar of acid to the face?”
“Healed? He lost an eye, Goosey!” Yelled Overseer Benjamin. “Our wonderful doctor lost an eye thanks to your antics!”
“Oh geez… I’m so sorry,” Lucy sheepishly apologized. What could she even say to make things better? “On the bright side, at least he won’t be the only person in your vault with a one-eyed disability.”
“What do you mean?” The vault 4 overseer sounded confused. “Birdie, did someone else lose an eye without my knowledge?”
“Never mind Ben.” Replied Birdie, sounding very tired. “I think it’s time for Lucy and her friends to move on.”
“Right. It’s time for you to skedaddle Goosey! Do you have any last words before we banish you again?” Demanded Overseer Benjamin.
Lucy thought carefully, then asked, “were you serious about those turrets with conditioner?”
***
“Cheer up Cooper. It wasn’t a total waste of time,” chirped Lucy. She was soaking wet, squeaky clean, and as happy as a clam. The exact opposite of her miserable furry companion. Cooper eyed her disgustedly, and remained silent.
They had walked away from vault 4 with no direction in mind. Lucy had no idea where this mysterious enclave could be. And something told her that even if Cooper could talk, he wouldn’t help her out either.
It didn’t surprise Lucy that he knew about the enclave. Cooper was over 200 years old after all. He must have traveled all over the country, meeting hundreds of thousands of people, and probably making twice as many enemies. But now they had a dilemma on their hands.
Birdie claimed that the enclave was somehow more evil than vault-tec. Which would be quite evil indeed, considering the abominations that were created in the bowels of vault 4.
On the other hand, the enclave might be the only answer to restoring her companions to their proper bodies.
What should Lucy do? Bring her friends to a dangerously evil organization and hope that they could fix everything? Or abandon that idea and leave things to fate? Perhaps as her friends switched bodies overnight, it could be reversed a different night.
Seeing as it was not her own body on the line, Lucy decided to lay these options out for Cooper to decide.
Understandably, Cooper was extremely displeased with his options.
If Lucy thought he was mad about needing to beg vault 4 for help, that was nothing compared to his rage at the thought of begging the enclave for help.
Dogmeat panted happily while Lucy gave her some soothing back rubs, and together they watched Cooper have an absolutely unholy conniption fit.
He frothed at the mouth like a rabid mutt. Thick ropes of foamy white saliva dripped from his fangs as he angrily barked and snarled at his female companions. While he tried to talk some sense into the naive vault dweller, Cooper stood up on his two hind legs so he could properly yell at Lucy while looking her in the eye.
After about five full minutes of his one-sided debate, he lost his balance and fell back on all fours. That seemed to be the end of his mega-tantrum, but certainly not the end of his rage. He stared up at Lucy with his teeth still bared and his ears pinned back, emitting a low continuous growl.
Lucy didn’t know why he was acting like this. Surely he knew by know that consent was the most important part of a good partnership, and that she would never force him to go anywhere he didn’t want to go? Who did he think she was? The ghoul?
“Cooper, I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” Lucy finally said once he had quieted down somewhat. “It’s entirely your decision. Whatever you decide to do, I will respect your choice. Do we go to the enclave, or do we wait another night?”
Cooper gagged and sneezed and shook his head. He started pawing at the ground, digging shallow grooves into the dirt. Slowly but surely, letters began to form, spelling out a single word.
W A I T
Welp. That cemented it. “Okie-dokie then. It’s decided.” Personally, Lucy would have taken her chances with the enclave. But she had promised to respect Cooper’s decision, and by golly that is what she would do.
They still had a couple hours to go before the sun would set though. “Shall we find a safe place to spend the night?” She asked. Cooper grumbled and nodded his head, and Dogmeat was simply ready to follow along with whatever her buddies decided to do.
“Hi!” Dogmeat wheezed, her smile slowly fading. A look of confusion crossed her face. “Hi?” She squeaked out, before her lungs completely filled with liquid and made it impossible to talk.
Oh no. Lucy had gotten so used to Dogmeat being in the ghoul’s body, that she had forgotten about the ghoul’s main ailment.
The ghoul was about to go feral. And poor Dogmeat along with it.
“Oh my gosh! Hold on girl!” Lucy cried, frantically digging through the ghoul’s saddle bags for his lifesaving inhaler. Dogmeat fell on her back like an overturned turtle, choking and gasping while she kicked futilely at the empty air above her.
Cooper was absolutely distraught, whining and circling his dying body. He tried to keep Dogmeat grounded by licking her face and booping her with his wet nose.
“Got it!” Lucy exclaimed, locating the precious inhaler. She loaded it with a fresh vial, and crouched down next to the flailing ghoul. “Easy girl,” she said, cradling the gasping head between her knees. Lucy forced the inhaler into Dogmeat’s mouth, and pressed the button.
Psssshhht
A mist of chemicals spread down the ghoul’s throat, settling in the lungs and melting away the feral rot that infested her poor friend. Lucy and Cooper held their breathes and waited while Dogmeat’s wheezes became quieter and less frequent.
With one final cough, Dogmeat lay still. Only her eyes moved, wide open and darting around confusedly, till they landed on Lucy.
“You ok girl?” Asked the vault dweller, still cradling the ghoul’s head between her knees.
Dogmeat broke out into a wide toothy grin. “Friend!” She beamed up at Lucy.
“Oh thank goodness!” Both Cooper and Lucy let out a big relieved sigh. She gently removed the head from her lap and stood up. “Boy, that sure was clo-”
Her sentence ended in a yelp, because Dogmeat leapt up and knocked her back on the ground. Lucy giggled and sputtered while Dogmeat gratefully showered her face with wet, slobbery licks. “C’mon girl, knock it off!” Lucy protested, trying to push the heavier ghoul off herself. “I just had a good bath too!”
It took Cooper’s help to finally pull Dogmeat off of the squealing vault dweller. He gripped his duster between his teeth and tugged hard, until Dogmeat lost her balance and toppled over.
“Thanks Cooper.” Lucy scrambled to her feet and grimaced. Her face was sticky and covered with ghoul saliva. And I just washed my face too, she thought. Oh well. At least everyone’s ok.
She felt a nudge near her knee, so she looked down. Cooper held up his precious inhaler in his jaws. “Oh! Sorry, yeah, let me put that away!” Lucy apologized and took the inhaler, removing the spent vial before placing it back in the saddlebag.
Cooper gave her the tiniest wag of his tail, and lightly licked her hand. Even though he could not speak, Lucy heard him loud and clear. Thanks for saving my hide, darlin’.
“You’re welcome Cooper,” she smiled warmly and scratched him between the ears. He bristled at her touch, but didn’t pull away. So Lucy bent down to properly pet him, using both hands to thoroughly scratch him behind each ear.
Cooper closed his eyes and leaned into her magical hands. Lucy doubted anyone had been this gentle with him since becoming ghoulified goodness knows how long ago. It made her really sad.
Despite their violent introduction in Filly, despite him torturing and selling her for parts, despite every harsh word and snide comment directed at her, Lucy still considered him a friend.
“You’re a good boy Cooper,” she purred at him, and he responded by wagging his tail, fully lost in her touch. Lucy giggled and scratched vigorously beneath his ears, trailing down to his neck till she hit a very specific spot…
Bingo.
Cooper twisted his head up and involuntarily thumped his hind leg on the ground. Lucy couldn’t help but laugh at how cute he was being, and that immediately snapped him out of his trance. Startled, Cooper hopped out of her reach, shaking himself off in disgust. He sneered at her, most likely angry at himself for losing control of his dog body.
“What? I was just trying to make you feel better,” Lucy scoffed. “Would it kill you to be happy at least once in your life?” Cooper growled, then stalked off in a random direction that led far away from her.
“So rude,” she said, shaking her head. Lucy simply couldn’t understand how someone could spend every waking moment being so gosh darn ornery.
“Well, at least you appreciate me. Right girl?” She jokingly asked Dogmeat.
“Friend!” Came her chipper joyful response.
“Indeed,” Lucy agreed, giving her companion a good scratch between her ghoul ears. She could hear Cooper gagging in the distance, which made her giggle in return.
Taking charge once again, Lucy led her friends to a prewar part of the city that looked mostly intact. They inspected each building and chose one that still had a room with a roof and four walls.
Settling in for the night, Lucy gave each of her companions a few strips of jerky for their supper, and for herself she dug into a box of dandy boy apples.
“Cooper?” She asked while munching on her food. “What do we do if this situation isn’t fixed overnight?” Cooper looked up from his strip of dried flesh, glaring at her. “I mean it,” Lucy insisted. “What if we wake up tomorrow morning, and you two aren’t back to normal? What do we do then?” Do we seek help from the enclave? That was the real question, but she chose not to say it out loud.
Cooper silently bared his teeth, then stiffly scratched some letters into the dirt floor.
D O N T
Don’t? Don’t what? Lucy did not know if he meant don’t talk about it, or don’t think about it, or even a simple don’t jinx us vaultie.
“Fine, we won’t talk about it right now,” she said, finishing the last of her apples. “But we might have to talk about it in the morning, as I’m sure you know.”
Cooper scoffed and finished his food. He sniffed around and strategically chose a place to sleep that had the entrance to their room in sight, just in case of any late night danger. He also made sure that his sleeping spot was as far away from Lucy as possible, which offended her, but ultimately she decided not to make a big deal out of it.
He’s had a very bizarre day, she told herself. I really should be more considerate.
Lucy settled down and watched Dogmeat yawn and spin in circles a few times, before curling up on the floor. What a silly sight she made. Lucy would never admit it, but a part of her would miss this carefree version of the ghoul when things get fixed.
And they would get fixed. She would make sure of that. It did not matter how long it took, Lucy just wanted to see her friends healthy and happy. At the moment, nothing else mattered to her.
As she felt herself drifting off to sleep, Lucy offered one final prayer to whoever might be listening.
Please fix my friends. Please switch them back. Please make Cooper happy again…
***
The next morning was a completely normal wasteland morning, just like the day before. Lucy woke up from a deep sleep when she heard the ghoul stirring.
Oh boy, she thought. The moment of truth. She was so excited that she didn’t even move from her spot on the floor. Lucy held her breath and looked on as the ghoul examined his gloved hands. Then, ever so slowly, he touched his face.
“Oh thank fucking god,” Cooper muttered, fingering the ridges of his missing nose. “Thought I was gonna lose my fucking mind in that fleabag’s body.”
He’s back! Lucy was elated, and she sprang up to congratulate him.
‘Cooper! Thank goodness you’re alright!’
Wait. Something was wrong.
Why did that sentence come out as barking? And why did she get up from the floor on all fours?
“Dogmeat? You alright girl?” Cooper asked, turning to look at Lucy.
‘Dogmeat? You’re not funny Cooper,’ Lucy tried chastising him, but her speech came out growly and suspiciously doglike.
Oh no…
She didn’t want to look, but she knew had to. Lucy glanced down at herself, and was horrified to see paws where her hands should be.
No no no no no…
She frantically looked around the room, and then she saw it.
The thing that confirmed her worst fears.
Lucy locked eyes with herself, sitting on all fours a couple feet away, a big goofy grin plastered on her face.
‘Dogmeat?’ Lucy whimpered.
“Hi!” Dogmeat responded in Lucy’s voice. Lucy’s body. My voice. MY BODY!
“Well, well, well.” Cooper smirked once he realized what had happened. “My, how the tables have turned for poor little Miss MacLean.”
‘Nooooooooooooo!’ Lucy howled, her new voice completely drowning out Cooper’s delighted chuckling.