Chapter Text
Lucy MacLean was usually pretty optimistic.
Cooper called it her “major malfunction,” but Lucy had to disagree. Being optimistic was not a malfunction, it was a skill. A carefully cultivated skill that was severely tested again and again on the surface outside her vault.
Raiders ruined her wedding, killed her friends, and kidnapped her dad? No problem. She’ll just trek out on her own and save him.
A mean old ghoul ties her up, tortures her, and sells her for parts? Hey. At least he didn’t sell her into sexual slavery.
It turned out her dad destroyed an entire city, killing thousands of people and abandoned his wife to a fate worse than death? Guess she’ll just have to hunt him down and bring him to justice.
Yessiree bob, no matter what the wasteland threw at her, Lucy took it in stride with her head held high and her optimism intact.
That is at least, she used to.
But that was before she awoke to find herself trapped in her dog’s body.
‘How could this have happened?’ She whimpered, pacing around the small room on all fours. ‘I mean seriously, why does this keep happening? Are we cursed or something? How the heck do we fix this mess?’ It was a rhetorical question of course, because Cooper couldn’t understand a word she said. Everything that she spoke came out of her muzzle as a series of barks and growls.
“I gotta say vaultie, usually I can’t stand it when you refuse to shut your trap,” Cooper spoke up from his corner of the room, eyeing her with a satisfied smirk. “But there’s something about seeing you suffer in that fleabag’s body that just warms my decrepit ghoul heart.”
‘Shut up Cooper! You’re not helping!’ Lucy angrily yipped at him, but it only made him laugh.
“Hurts don’t it?” He sneered. “Hurts to talk and talk and not be understood. Hurts to be a weak little dog, don’t it? How do you like it, vaultie? How do you like being a good girl?” He gloated down at her.
‘That’s not fair Cooper!’ Lucy howled. ‘I didn’t enjoy seeing you so distraught! I tried to be nice to you! Why do you have to be so mean?’
“Yeah yeah, you can cuss me out all you like,” Cooper waived his hand dismissively. “I don’t give a shit. Just keep the yapping to a minimum.”
‘I wasn’t cussing you out,’ Lucy whimpered to herself. She would never do such a thing. Did he really think so little of her?
Lucy was so miserable that she didn’t notice Dogmeat had crawled over to her side. Not until she felt a gentle nudge on her shoulder. Startled, Lucy turned and saw her own face staring back at her.
“Friend.” Dogmeat said, affectionately rubbing her head on Lucy’s shoulder. Not expecting this simple act of kindness, Lucy gratefully wagged her tail. If she were in her human body, she might have even started to cry.
‘Thank you Dogmeat,’ she whined, nuzzling her friend back. ‘At least I can still count on you girl.’
“How touching,” Cooper sneered, rudely interrupting their tender moment. “Any sweeter and I might run the risk of contracting diabetes.” He spit on the ground, accentuating his disgust.
Lucy growled, annoyed at the miserable old ghoul. Why did he always insist on ruining every good thing in her life? Why couldn’t he let her be happy for even a single moment?
“Go!” Dogmeat’s voice cut through her thoughts, and Lucy felt her stomach drop. Oh no. She knew what Dogmeat meant, but still had to confirm for herself. A quick glance to the side, and she saw Dogmeat spin in a small circle.
Oh dear.
“Oh deary me.” The ghoul was grinning now. “Dogmeat’s gotta go potty. What on earth shall I do about that, vaultie?”
‘Help her!’ Lucy immediately barked. She did not understand why he would even bother asking her. Of course she wouldn’t want Dogmeat making a mess in her jumpsuit. Especially not after just getting the darn thing washed too.
Cooper blinked at her, his grin melting into a somewhat confused face. “Well?” He demanded. “Ain’t you gonna try and stop me from stripping her down?”
Stop him? Lucy would have rolled her eyes if she could. ‘I’m not a prude like you Cooper,’ she huffed at him. ‘Now come one, before Dogmeat has an accident.’ Pawing at her jumpsuit, Lucy looked at him expectantly.
For a few more seconds, Cooper refused to move. He narrowed his eyes at Lucy, and she caught a whiff of something coming off of him. Not used to her new dog body, she didn’t understand what she was smelling. Was it suspicion? Reluctance? Disappointment?
“Fine.” Cooper muttered, sounding thoroughly disappointed that Lucy wasn’t gonna put up a fight to protect her modesty. “Fucking vault dwellers,” he added under his breath as he walked over to Dogmeat.
Cooper grabbed the zipper of her jumpsuit and hesitated. What on earth is he waiting for? Lucy could hear him audibly grit his teeth when he tugged the zipper all the way down.
“Stupid fucking suit,” Cooper cursed as he tried to wrangle the limbs out of the sleeves.
‘You need to remove the pipboy first!’ Lucy tried explaining, pawing at the device on her wrist.
“I know what the fuck I’m doing!” Cooper snapped, batting her away.
‘Clearly you don’t!’ She snapped back, watching him fumble clumsily at the metal clasp.
“Why the FUCK don’t these goddamn suits come with butt flaps?” He swore, finally removing the pipboy and pulling the jumpsuit down. “200 fucking years and vault-tec still can’t do a simple butt flap?”
Lucy did not have a response. That actually is a good idea, she had to admit. Why don’t our suits have butt flaps? Perhaps someday she would return home and offer her vault some quality of life improvements to their jumpsuits.
But for now, she watched as Cooper finished pulling her jumpsuit down to the ankles. Kneeling, he turned to her panties and hesitated again. Lucy was getting nervous. It was her only pair of panties, and she really didn’t want them to get soiled. Why won’t he hurry up?
Cooper exhaled and turned his head to the side, opting to look at Lucy instead of the offending garment. With a quick motion, he tugged the panties down to the ankles, and Dogmeat immediately squatted to pee.
Oh thank goodness. Lucy was immensely grateful for Cooper’s help. She wagged her tail at him, but he only glared at her, seething. What on earth is his problem?
Lucy caught another scent coming of the ghoul, and she sniffed the air curiously. Ok, that definitely has to be anger. It was a harsh, bitter smell that made her dog body instinctively want to cower and submit. But why would he be so angry? It just didn’t make any sense to her.
Dogmeat finished peeing and suddenly stood, bringing Lucy’s human crotch right up at Cooper’s eye level. His eyes widened, acutely aware of the forbidden fruit hovering just a few inches away. Lucky for him he was still looking down at Lucy, otherwise he would have gotten an eyeful of what Chet once called “her second-best feature.”
‘Really Cooper, you’re such a prude,’ she scolded him, tugging her panties up as best as she could with her teeth. ‘It doesn’t bite, you know.’
Cooper gritted his teeth so hard Lucy swore she heard some of them crack.
He turned and roughly zipped the jumpsuit up to the stomach, then tied the sleeves around Dogmeat’s waist. “What?” He snarled at Lucy’s look of confusion. “I don’t wanna have to deal with the fucking suit next time she needs to take a piss. You gotta problem with that?” He demanded, glaring down at her.
No, honestly. That’s pretty smart Cooper, she wanted to say. But the ghoul was in such a foul mood, that Lucy felt it wise to just keep silent. She timidly went over to her discarded pipboy and picked it up, carefully so as to not scuff it with her teeth.
Ears back and tail tucked between her legs submissively, Lucy meekly held it up to Cooper.
He paused, eyeing her suspiciously, as if she was holding up a live grenade instead of a harmless pipboy. Please just take it, she thought desperately. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did to make you so mad.
Much to her relief, he accepted it. “Oughta toss the fucking thing in the garbage,” he muttered, reluctantly placing it back onto Dogmeat’s wrist. “Stupid fucking vault-tec.”
‘Thank you Cooper,’ Lucy whimpered. She gave his gloved hand a tiny little lick. Bleh. Gunpowder and dirty leather.
But as she expected, Cooper had a soft spot for animals. Even ones currently possessed by vault dwellers. Lucy could practically smell the anger melting off him.
“I must be goin’ fucking soft in my old age,” he sighed, roughly petting her between the ears. “Goddamnit vaultie. How do you always find a way to get under my skin?”
Lucy wasn’t aware that she had gotten under his skin in the first place. Always?
Suddenly feeling the urge to blush, Lucy was secretly grateful that she was stuck in a dog body and therefore incapable of doing so.
Cooper coughed and cleared his throat. “Listen darlin, what say we eat some breakfast? I bet Dogmeat’s as hungry as I am.”
‘Sounds good to me,’ Lucy yipped, nodding her head. She quickly scampered over to her bag and nosed her head inside. She felt around and grabbed a random can of food. Her last can of food.
Oh dear. With all the excitement of the previous day, Lucy had forgotten to restock her supplies. How could she have gotten so careless?
“That your last can, darlin’?” Cooper asked, leaning in to look for himself. “Damn shame that. I ‘spose I could spare some ass jerky, if you’d like. Whaddya’ say?” He chuckled, knowing darn well that Lucy loathed his cannibalistic tendencies.
But she did only have one can of food left. Which meant she had to make a tough decision. Did she want to eat it herself, and let Dogmeat eat some ass jerky? Did she really want her human body digesting human flesh?
The mere thought made her gag, so she nudged the can towards the aloof Dogmeat. A move that thoroughly surprised Cooper.
“Really?” He asked. “You’ll chow down on some ass jerky? You?”
Lucy gritted her teeth and nodded, giving the can another nudge towards Dogmeat.
Cooper whistled. “Gotta admit vaultie. I didn’t think ya had it in ya.” He sounded really impressed with her, and she once again felt the urge to blush. Gosh what is wrong with me today?
She almost lost her nerve when Cooper tossed her a couple strips of jerky. Where did he even keep getting ass jerky from anyway? Lucy knew for a fact that Roger’s jerky ran out days ago. She would know, she helped flay the poor guy.
You know what? I really don’t wanna know. Lucy pushed all questions out of her mind, and began eating.
The worst part of the whole ordeal, was that the jerky turned out to be actually pretty tasty.
It’s the dog tastebuds, she tried to assure herself. That’s all it is. Dogs’ll eat anything. I bet this jerky is actually pretty disgusting.
Lucy ate as quickly as possible, not wanting to dwell on her meal any further. She looked up and saw Cooper finish feeding Dogmeat from a can of Pork n’ Beans. It embarrassed Lucy to see her own body be so sloppy. There was sauce and stray beans smeared all over Dogmeat’s face.
‘Aren’t you even gonna clean me up?’ Lucy asked, dismayed when Cooper tossed the empty can aside and started eating his own rations. ‘For goodness sake Cooper! I just had a wash yesterday. You can’t leave me in that filthy state!’
“What the fuck are ya yappin’ about now, vaultie?” He asked, annoyed.
‘You know what? Never mind. I’ll do it myself,’ Lucy grumbled. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.
She reared up and placed her paws on Dogmeat’s shoulders.
“Hi!” Dogmeat beamed at her.
‘Hold still girl,’ Lucy ordered. Dogmeat obeyed as Lucy methodically licked every drop of sauce and every stray bean off her face, leaving her squeaky clean.
‘There!’ Lucy declared, licking her chops. ‘Good as new!’
“Friend!” Dogmeat exclaimed.
‘You’re welcome girl.’ Lucy went back on all fours, grateful to have the taste of ass jerky replaced with the taste of Pork n’ Beans.
“Y’all are gonna make me fuckin’ sick,” Cooper muttered, spitting on the ground.
‘Well if you had just cleaned my face in the first place, I wouldn’t have needed to do that,’ Lucy shot back at him.
“Yap, yap, yap. At least when you were human I knew what you were yappin’ about.” Cooper finished eating his ass jerky and stood up.
“Well. What now Miss MacLean?” He asked sarcastically. “We got the whole day ahead of us, what shall we do to pass the time? Wanna play some fetch?” He laughed, sneering down at her.
‘Are you serious?’ Lucy demanded. ‘This is no time for jokes, Cooper! We need to fix this mess! I wanna go back to my own body!’
“Use your words sweetheart,” Cooper smirked. “Can’t understand a single thing you’re barkin’ about.”
Lucy growled, then quickly started scratching letters into the dirt.
Cooper’s smile slowly fell from his face as a single word emerged from the haphazard scratches.
E N C L A V E
“Absolutely fucking not vaultie."