Chapter Text
Velvette stood in the aftermath of silence, staring at the empty space where Vox had been.
"...That jackass called, and Vox went running like his life depends on it," she murmurs.
Valentino straightened his coat, mildly impressed despite himself.
"Yeah, no, that's... actually what I expected."
Velvette pinched the bridge of her nose.
"...We are so fucked. That idiot is not getting over him in this decade."
Valentino opened his mouth.
"And no, you overgrown baby," Velvette snapped immediately, pointing at him, "you cannot start Vox on bloody hooker therapy."
The taller Overlord pouted dramatically.
"But Vel! I have vision!"
"There is no time for your vision!" she hissed, already pacing. "Vox is outside actively proposing to a homicidal deer—"
"...That does sound like him," Valentino admitted.
A distant crackle of static echoed through the tower.
Valentino leaned toward the balcony doors he just noticed were shattered. "...Huh."
Velvette's eye twitched.
There was a brief moment of silence.
"...He didn't even look drunk. We can't work that angle," Valentino said carefully.
Velvette stared at him for one long exhausted second.
Val grinned sheepishly.
"... Run?"
"Run."
They bolted outside at record speed.
Valentino floated behind her with entirely too much enthusiasm for someone allegedly trying to prevent a disaster. Velvette reached the lower streets first... and stopped dead.
"...What the hell is going on?"
The district already looked demolished.
Neon signs flickered violently overhead. Entire chunks of pavement had been ripped apart. One building leaned at an angle that suggested structural integrity had become more of a suggestion than a reality.
And in the middle of it all, Vox was actually laughing.
Static burst around him in sharp blue arcs as he ducked beneath a wave of living shadows. Across from him, Alastor, normal-sized again, stood perfectly composed amid the destruction. The only sign he'd exerted effort at all was the loosened tie and slightly undone collar.
Velvette slowly turned toward Valentino, trying to keep a neutral expression.
"... Why do they look like that?"
Valentino clasped his hands dramatically to his chest.
"Oh, this is good," he gasped.
"No, Val."
He ignored her.
"I think," Valentino whispered happily, "they're doing some kind of weird mating ritual."
Velvette stared at him, willing herself to stay calm.
"... You've been watching animal documentaries again, haven't you?"
Valentino's grin widened in response.
"They're like flirting snakes!"
Velvette facepalmed.
Another violent burst of electricity exploded across the street. Shadows lunged upward to meet it instantly, tearing through concrete and splitting the road apart with a deafening crack.
"Fighting snakes," Velvette corrected flatly. "They're trying to kill each other."
"Mhm," Valentino nodded. "Still flirting though."
"I'm deleting the bloody nature channel off your TV plan."
A lamp post suddenly flew through the air toward them.
Velvette grabbed Valentino by the sleeve and yanked him behind the remains of a collapsed storefront just before the metal pole smashed into the wall above their heads.
Glass rained everywhere.
"...Okay," Velvette muttered. "We're hiding now."
Valentino peeked over the rubble immediately.
In the street, Vox vanished into static, then reappeared behind Alastor.
Alastor twisted smoothly aside before Vox could touch him.
Shadows snapped upward instantly. Black tendrils wrapped around Vox's arms, waist, and throat before slamming him hard against the remains of a billboard. Metal screamed under the impact.
Velvette winced.
"... That one looked painful."
"It looked sexy," Valentino corrected.
She shoots him what feels like the millionth withering look since this morning.
"You're both diseased."
"You don't appreciate the art of kink," Val huffs.
Vox, meanwhile, looked entirely too pleased with himself for someone currently restrained six feet off the ground. Static flickered warmly across his screen as he tilted his head toward Alastor with an annoyingly relaxed grin.
"Oh, come on, Al," he teased. "You don't gotta get rough every time we do this."
Alastor paused, just briefly. His smile sharpened.
"... I beg your pardon?"
Velvette slapped both hands over her face.
"... I can't watch."
Valentino wheezed beside her.
And the tendrils tightened slightly around Vox's torso. Not enough to hurt, but enough to warn. Alastor stepped closer, his grin impossibly wide.
"My dear fellow," he said smoothly, his voice crackling through the static-heavy air, "you continue to mistake tolerance for encouragement."
"Mm." Vox hummed thoughtfully. "See, that sounds rejecting, but your body language says otherwise."
Velvette stared blankly into the distance.
"How are we losing a fight to unresolved sexual tension?" She mumbles, then regrets it.
No, she didn't want to call this sexual tension. What she was seeing was evil. Evil and unholy. She was going to learn how to remove her eyes for the sake of deep cleaning them.
"We're witnessing art," Valentino whispered emotionally.
In the street, shadows lashed outward again. Vox barely twisted aside before black tendrils ripped through the building behind him instead, reducing concrete to rubble in seconds.
This time Vox retaliated properly.
Electricity burst outward violently, and screens across the district flickered. A neon sign exploded overhead. Static screamed through the air as Vox surged forward fast enough to blur. For a moment, it actually looked serious.
Alastor's smile widened.
"Oh, there you go."
The shadows collided head-on with Vox's power. The impact shattered what remained of the undemolished parts of the street. Velvette and Valentino both ducked instinctively as debris rained over their hiding spot.
"...This is not good for my blood pressure," she muttered, now face down in the pavement.
When the dust settled, Vox was pinned again.
Shadowy tendrils coiled tightly around his arms and torso, lifting him off the ground while electricity crackled uselessly around him. Across from him, Alastor stood calmly, smile sharp and unwavering.
"Well," he said lightly, "This has certainly been entertaining."
What exactly they were fighting about or even talking about, Velvette didn't know. And frankly? She never wanted to know. She'd make an enemy out of anyone who looked further into... whatever this was supposed to be. Vox's eyes were fixed on Alastor, entirely unbothered. Worse than unbothered. Vox was interested.
Valentino blinked slowly beside her.
"...Voxxy looks handled."
"He is fine," Velvette deadpanned. "Pay no attention to the idiot TV trapped in the nightmare tentacles."
Vox sighed. Dramatic or not, Velvette wasn't sure anymore. It had been a very long afternoon.
"You know," Vox mused, "most people buy me dinner before pinning me against architecture."
Alastor's grin twitched.
"... You are a deeply strange individual."
"Yeah," Vox agreed easily. "You like it."
Velvette was sure she sounded like a dying power line. She couldn't even film this for her Voxtagram live. Nobody wanted to see two old idiots going at it—Oh God, no! Now she needed to pour bleach over her head for good measure.
The shadows around Vox tightened again. And still... Vox wasn't trying very hard to get out. Another pulse of electricity cracked across his body. One of the tendrils loosened briefly, more than enough room to escape. To do anything to retaliate, really.
But Vox did not move.
Valentino looked personally offended.
"No, Voxxy—you know better than that! The Vees are meant to be sexy!"
He gestured at himself like that proved something fundamental.
Velvette pinched the bridge of her aching nose.
"Val… Stop helping."
Back in the street, something flickered behind Alastor's eyes.
"Curious," he hummed.
Vox grinned lazily.
"What can I say? I'm enjoying this."
Alastor actually laughed. Low and dangerously entertained.
"Oh, you are a fascinating creature, picture box."
Vox looked delighted.
"Finally," he said. "We're getting somewhere."
Velvette grabbed Valentino by the arm before either of them could get caught in another blast radius.
In the street, the tendrils loosened slightly... That was all Vox needed. Electricity snapped violently outward, making Alastor's tendrils recoil. And before Alastor could fully react, Vox surged forward too fast. Faster than he'd moved until that moment.
He grabbed Alastor firmly by the waist.
And for the first time, surprise flickered across Alastor's face, brief and gone in a second.
Behind the rubble, Velvette gaped.
"...Is he serious?"
Valentino, on the other hand, looked as if he were watching a live adaptation of the Titanic.
"Oh my God, he's not letting go." He sounded emotional, again.
And before Velvette could stop him, the bastard started humming 'My Heart Will Go On' under his breath. Slowly and passionately, like he was directing one of his movies.
Velvette looked at him with exhausted betrayal.
"You are making this worse."
He shook his head.
"I am making this cinematic," Valentino corrected sagely.
And at that moment, Vox grinned at Alastor, pulling the deer closer to his chest.
"You were saying?"
For one suspended second, neither of them moved. Then black tendrils exploded upward. Vox got launched backwards hard enough to crack the street on impact. Or his body, likely.
No one spoke. Dust drifted slowly through the air.
And from the crater in the pavement—
"...Worth it," Vox groaned weakly.
Velvette closed her eyes, slowly running a hand down her face.
"I am going to kill him myself."
Valentino, meanwhile, looked delighted beyond reason.
"No, wait, this is incredible."
Alastor remained where he stood.
His smile never faltered, but his gaze lingered on Vox a fraction longer than necessary. Like Vox had unexpectedly become entertaining. Or perhaps a mistake to be repeated.
Vox noticed immediately, of course.
"I'm wearing you down, doll," Vox called as he slowly sat up, grinning despite the smoke rising off him. "One of these days—"
"No, you aren't!" Velvette nearly screeched from where she stood. "You're embarrassing us in public!"
Neither of them acknowledged her.
Valentino sighed dreamily next to her.
"Seems nice to be tossed around by a man, though... I kind of see Voxxy's point."
Velvette whipped toward him instantly.
"Don't say that. Ever."
In the street, Vox finally hauled himself upright, brushing debris off his coat like he hadn't just been thrown through concrete. Like his body didn't ache. He didn't feel it, because his attention never left Alastor.
Alastor tilted his head slightly.
"You are remarkably persistent."
"You noticed," Vox said immediately.
He stepped closer to him. Well, that would be generous... Vox was limping. But still unbothered.
"Many unfortunate things I do notice," Alastor chuckles.
Vox looked thrilled by that answer.
Smoke and static curled between them like held breath. Then shadows began gathering around Alastor again. The edges of his form darkened.
Vox's grin softened slightly.
"You always do that," he said quietly. "The disappearing act. You make a scene, then vanish."
Alastor didn't move.
"One might assume you enjoy my company, Vincent."
Something in the air shifted. Vox's pixelated eyes turn into hearts.
Velvette tensed immediately.
"Oh no. No, no, no."
Vox took another step forward.
"Stay." He says to Alastor, voice softened.
Velvette pointed violently at the scene, as if they would hear her from the distance. And they likely did, with the way she was shouting.
"Don't you dare make this a fucking rom-com! Vox, do you hear me?! Vox!"
Alastor laughed softly. The worst part was, it wasn't mocking. He was still amused. Then shadows swallowed him whole, and he was gone.
The street finally fell quiet. Vel and Val emerge and approach Vox, studying him. He simply stared at where Alastor had disappeared, still smiling faintly, like he'd just been promised something.
"I think," Vox said thoughtfully, "he just needs time."
Velvette looked at him, then at Valentino.
"...I am surrounded," she said slowly, "by a man chasing a romantic subplot that does not exist and another man actively cheering him on."
Valentino raised a hand proudly.
"Present!"
Vox didn't even look offended. He still looked satisfied, like his day had somehow gone well.
Velvette pinched the bridge of her nose hard enough to hurt, and after the tenth time, it did.
"This is not love," she said flatly.
Vox finally glanced toward her.
"Sure," he said softly. "But it's something."
And as his gaze drifted back toward where Alastor had vanished, like he fully intended to follow him again eventually... Velvette realized something with quiet horror.
Vox wasn't being manipulated; he wasn't tricked. He was just an idiot... And they were all doomed.
Valentino nudged her lightly.
"We're gonna have to trademark this."
Velvette didn't even look at him.
"... I hate you all."
Behind them, Vox sighed dreamily again, long and fond.
She had her doubts anyone else besides him sung the praises of the Radio demon's allure.
Maybe she really should consider Valentino's dumb therapy idea. That is, if she doesn't kill him in the next fifteen seconds, because the moth is humming 'My Heart Will Go On' for the second time.
Her death glare does not discourage him at all.
And somewhere in the distance, Alastor laughed softly to himself like he'd just won a game no one else understood the rules to.