Chapter Text
The top of the mountain cliffs containing the Uchiha nesting grounds have a beautiful view of Fire country during the day.
Tobirama feels long-held tension drain out of his shoulders as he quietly sits, appreciating the scenery and the warm fall weather as the sounds of children playing drift up to him. Kagami's bright laughter stands out among the distant chattering of less familiar Uchiha, and he can feel the happy bubbling of chakra inside the youngest two of the handful of Senju children who had accompanied him on this visit as the kids all play together.
If someone had told him at ten that the place he would feel safest outside of the Senju compound would one day be the heart of a flock's territory, he would have never believed it. But relations are continuing to improve between the Uchiha and the Senju, steadily if slowly, and it's good. It's very good. Most of the adult fliers are still intensely territorial and wary of unknown humans - especially anywhere near their home - but Hashirama's friendly charisma and utter lack of boundaries have actually served their clan well in establishing negotiations.
... No matter how many heart attacks it had first given both sides.
Because his brother had nearly given people heart attacks two years ago when the Uchiha had escorted Tobirama to the border of their territory. Hashirama, who had evidently learned that Tobirama's mission had gone south, had ended up accidentally ambushing them at the Naka river with a rescue party that had been armed and ready for mercenaries.
It had been a surprise for everyone and much more stress-filled than Tobirama would have preferred, but Hashirama - being himself - had been thrilled to recognize his old friend after he had confirmed Tobirama was unharmed. Hashirama had then proceeded to demonstrate how happy he was to see Madara - through his favored medium of physical affection.
Madara - who had not, in fact, had a chance to regrow his sliced feathers in the three days since their run-in with those mercenaries - had not really appreciated that.
To this day, Tobirama still doesn't have many memories more amusing than Madara squawking and flailing angrily while he tried to squirm out Hashirama's embrace. No one else had appreciated it at the time, of course, since the Uchiha had thought their grounded leader was being attacked and the Senju had thought their clan head had lost his mind and was about to be either disemboweled by talons or have his neck broken with one of the wings slapping his head. Luckily for everyone, Hashirama's happy laughter about "Look how big your wings grew! I bet you can actually get off the ground now." and Madara indignant screeching of "I swear I'll drown you in the river, you oaf!" had quickly incited wary confusion on both sides rather than more violent reactions.
And now here they are two years later: with some trade and a stable cessation of hostilities as they encourage a more comfortable familiarity through careful visits. It's still something both groups keep quiet about, something more private than well-known given the political and social atmosphere, but it's working for them and it's beneficial. Tobirama isn't the only Senju now who has managed to live through a mission gone bad by diverting through the Uchiha's forest and even that assistance alone would have made all of their effort worth it in his opinion.
It has certainly done nothing to dissuade Hashirama from expanding his dreams of peace to include both races.
There's a rush of wings and a trilling whistle sounds out loudly behind him. Tobirama looks over his shoulder, matching faces to approaching chakra signatures as a small party of Uchiha land meters away on the open grass between the mountaintop's vegetable and herb gardens. Madara raises a hand in greeting when he sees him before lowering a basket and several bags to the ground and turning back to discuss something with the other fliers who had accompanied him.
Tobirama idly watches as the adults unload various packs, rubbing their shoulders and stretching and generally looking tired and windswept. A few of the men and women absently acknowledge him with various degrees of warmth - the Uchiha are understandably much like humans in that opinions on mercenaries (and himself) vary - and Tobirama politely returns the gestures.
A few seconds later more Uchiha appear by either flying up from varying directions or walking up the carved stairs that lead down into the nest inside the mountain. The quiet mountaintop turns busy and noisy as relatives chatter with each other and packs are divided up to be carried by the fresh arrivals. Eventually though the crowd dies down, heading back inside with what Tobirama assumes is trade goods from the overheard gossip, and he's left alone again except for Madara who's walking towards him.
"I wasn't expecting to see you," Madara says, a faint tilt to his lips despite the bags under his eyes. He nudges Tobirama's shoulder lightly with the back of his hand, talons curved in safely towards his palm, before kneeling down on Tobirama's left and sitting back on his heels, tail curved out to lay flat across the grass behind him. "I'm certain you weren't meant to arrive for another three days unless I've lost time on my trip."
"Originally yes," Tobirama agrees with a neutral expression, not really looking forward to the upcoming conversation despite Madara's curiosity, "but it came to our attention that there have been some... unsavory rumors developing among a few of the mercenary clans that Hashirama is seeking to build relationships with. Recently the theories have begun to spread throughout the country, warping away from the truth as civilians and nobles impose their own bias, and we wanted to ensure you heard of them from us rather than from travelers on the roads bordering your land. It's likely we'll need to take some form of action soon and that will require an agreement between us on what both our people think is appropriate."
Madara sends him a suspicious look before sighing and rubbing the heel of his hand into his left temple. "I don't suppose you have something pleasant we could start off with first and then we'll just delay the bad news until after dinner?"
Tobirama pauses to consider it. "You flock has excellent hospitality and we appreciate your willingness to continue hosting our younger members despite past incidents," he offers.
"You brought all your troublemakers here again so they couldn't get underfoot back home, didn't you?" Madara asks, smirking along with his accusation as he stretches his neck with a pop.
"Of course not," Tobirama refutes smoothly. "I merely brought a few of Kagami's friends whose parents were comfortable with letting them travel immediately."
"Isn't that what I just said?" Madara says dryly.
"How was your trip?" Tobirama prompts.
Madara groans dramatically, shifting to bring up one leg and bracing his crossed arms on his knee. "I. Hate. Buzzards," he complains, thumping his head on his arms with ever word as his wings stretch out backwards. "They have an extremely loose idea of what flocking is, no central organization that they'll admit to, they all just do what they want, they only vaguely keep in touch with each other unless they're mated, and—" There's an angry hissing sound from Madara's curled up ball of rage and Tobirama starts smirking. "—they're terrible to trade with."
"Why didn't Izuna or Hikaku go instead if you hate them so much?" Tobirama asks, leaning back on his hands.
Madara lifts his head slightly to send him a dirty look through the fall of his bangs. "Because if you aren't aggressive enough they don't want to listen to you no matter how good a fighter you are."
Tobirama pauses, looking over at Madara with growing amusement. "Are you saying you're the best person to deal with them because your willingness to angrily yell at them is actually effective?"
Madara meets his crinkled eyes with a tired glare. "I'd be more content about it if they'd stop giving me reasons to want to yell."
Tobirama snorts and they fall silent, relaxing in the lazy afternoon sun. The energy seems to drain out of Madara now that he's home in the safety of his flock's protected territory, and both his wings and eyelids start to droop after awhile.
A child makes a particularly happy squeal in the distance, sounding far more boisterous and carefree than most children of mercenary clans, and Tobirama can't help the faint smile that surfaces even as Madara's head jerks, blinking blearily in the direction of the stairs.
It's easier in quiet moments like this - with children playing and no blood-soaked missions waiting for him - for Tobirama to feel like he really believes in Hashirama's dream. It's easier to want it for himself, too. Easier to hope they can find a way to make it possible with treaties and alliances the same way they've worked out something more cooperative and peaceful with the Uchiha.
Mercenaries might be at odds far more frequently than humans and fliers on the whole, but they're also the same species. Surely that's enough common ground to start with.
Provided rumors don't continually try to stab them in the foot, at any rate.
Madara shifts next to him and Tobirama's attention drifts. He watches the flier reach back with one hand and run talons through the feathers at the base of his tail where the core of the limb meets the lumbar region of his spine. A light coating of oil glints on Madara's nails as he straightens out his left wing, stretching awkwardly as he begins to preen as close as he can to his body.
Given that Madara isn't an actual contortionist... "Another pair of hands would make that easier."
"Izuna will do the close ones later," Madara grunts, torso twisting as he reaches, giving Tobirama a better view of his back and the two openings on the Uchiha's shirt where his wings and tail emerge from between the ties.
"Would you like my help?" Tobirama offers after a brief hesitation.
Madara stills. "You're offering?" he asks, sounding surprised and lowering his hand as a brief speculative expression crosses his face.
Tobirama inclines his head, rotating his wrist to gesture at Madara's wings. "I imagine claws make it easier, but they aren't required to preen properly, are they? You've allowed Hashirama to help you occasionally, after all."
Madara immediately rolls his eyes with a snort. "Hashirama is bewilderingly difficult to convincingly tell 'no' to while making the answer actually stick."
This is, to be fair, one of the most accurate descriptions of his brother that Tobirama has ever heard. Observation over the last two years has also proved it to be no small part of Hashirama and Madara's friendship. Although Tobirama does have to give the Uchiha credit for being able to tell Hashirama things and make him actually listen with greater frequency than most people manage.
"Is that a no then?" Tobirama asks, brushing a bug away as it tries to land on his bare cheek.
Madara flexes his fingers, staring at him intensely. "... You really want to?"
"I'm curious," Tobirama explains, eyes shifting to examine at Madara's right wing lying next to him, tracing over the slightly disheveled layers of black feathers before moving on to the elongated tail. "It's always more informative to experience something personally. Not to mention that it still goes against all logic that fliers are able to achieve flight at all. Surely there must be something different in the underlying structure of your anatomy for you to function even with your occasional use of chakra to augment yourself. The fact that your wings join at a secondary pair of scapula in your back located underneath the superior scapula that joins your humerus bone to your clavicle, for example, automatically implies that the musculature in your ribcage—"
"I don't know why I even bothered wondering," Madara mutters irritably, suddenly looking displeased as he moves to lay on his stomach. Primaries and secondary feathers brush firmly along Tobirama's stomach as Madara stretches his right wing out over Tobirama's outstretched legs and buries his face in his folded arms with a huff. "Just make sure the feathers are all aligned as best you can after you're done mucking around."
Tobirama blinks down at the living blanket of feathers in his lap, not having quite expected this despite having offered. "No other pieces of advice or demands, Madara?" he questions, voice unintentionally quieter as he gently settles his hands on the other man's wing, feeling muscles flex under the smooth feathers.
"Refrain from ripping anything out unless it's already come loose or you'll be worse than Hashirama was at ten and I'll never let you forget it," Madara threatens grouchily, voice muffled and hair spilling over his arms so that Tobirama can't see his face.
"How helpful," Tobirama says flatly, eyes narrowed at the back of Madara's head before he turns his attention to the task.
He runs his fingers slowly through the feathers, feeling the underlying muscles groups and bones and taking mental notes on his observations as he compares it to what he's learned of birds. From what he can tell, there isn't much obvious difference aside from where the wing connects to Madara's back though, and soon enough he moves on to the actual preening.
There's an odd disconnect in his thoughts as he works, almost as if he thinks he should be embarrassed but isn't. There's no logical reason for it if Tobirama considers the matter from a flier's perspective: preening is a frequent necessity and is as standard and unremarkable as brushing their hair. The only real difference between the two actions is that preening is more of a social activity from Tobirama's observations since, in addition to demonstrating a basic level of care for another individual, fliers quite simply find it uncomfortable or outright impossible to reach all of their own feathers.
It's a simple, uncomplicated part of their lives and Tobirama can't count the number of times he's witnessed it between different Uchiha during his visits. Admittedly, aside from various children, he's only seen Izuna, Hashirama, and Hikaku help Madara before today, but that's still no reason to be self-conscious when a few Uchiha walk by. The other fliers don't even pay the two of them much attention besides a quick glance and a nod when Tobirama looks up at them.
Madara slowly goes boneless as Tobirama repeats his methodical movements. He doesn't even twitch the one time Tobirama's dull fingernails accidentally scrape the bare skin of his lower back while gathering more oil from the gland on his tail. Madara just lays there and - from the feel of his chakra - proceeds to fall into a very contented, half-awake doze as his muscles relax and stress drains away.
A chirp comes from somewhere nearby and Tobirama stops, blinking as he tries to pin down the point of origin. Madara grumbles after a few seconds, shifting his wing demandingly, and with an eyebrow slowly climbing towards his hairline, Tobirama starts moving again as he watches Madara closely. Nothing happens for a few minutes as he finishes what he can reach of the dorsal side of Madara's right wing, and he moves his hands back towards Madara's shoulder, pressing his fingers into the thick muscle of his wing and appreciating how the shorter, softer feathers run through his fingers.
Another chirp sounds with a third one coming shortly after, and with affectionate amusement bubbling in his chest, Tobirama confirms that the sharp chirps are absolutely being made by Madara himself.
"Are you doing that on purpose?" Tobirama teases through a widening smirk that goes unseen as he drags his fingertips on one hand back and forth over Madara's softest feathers while his other hand gently rubs at the base of Madara's wing.
Madara flops a hand up in a half-hearted insulting gesture even as he chirps again.
Tobirama laughs softly, shuffling around so he can fold Madara's wing in order to comfortably reach both the flier's un-preened feathers and his oil gland. Madara's bird-like chirps continue sporadically as he goes along, and Tobirama is about to casually ask whether or not Hashirama knows Madara makes this sound - purely for the imminent reaction that will spark - when a group of children rush up the steps.
"—bound to be someone up here! Come on we'll— oh!" Kagami perks up as he clears the steps and spots them, still much smaller than a same-age human would be but with yet another large growth spurt in his wings even though Tobirama had seen him only two months ago. "There you are! Tobirama, Tobirama, you have to come flying with us!"
Madara snickers face down against the grass, already aware of Tobirama's opinion on unnecessary flights, and Tobirama gently pulls on one of his feathers in reprimand as he smooths out his own expression. "Perhaps another day, Kagami. I'm sure Suzue and Makoto are looking forward to spending time with you without more adults around," Tobirama declines diplomatically.
"Well, we have to find more adults anyway," Kagami says, seeming to notice Tobirama's hands in Madara's feathers for the first time as he blinks in surprise, curiously glancing back and forth between his lounging flock leader and Tobirama's reserved expression before shrugging it off. "I'm just starting to fly for longer periods of time. I can't carry anyone yet and I'll be in big trouble if I go too high unsupervised and that's the fun part. You guys don't mind if Tobirama comes along too right?"
"Nooo," Suzue drawls, staring blatantly and shamelessly at her older clan member and ignoring both Tobirama's raised eyebrow and how a nervous Makoto is repeatedly poking her in the side. "Lord Tobirama can come if he wants. Although he seems to be busy."
"Suzue, you're going to get us in trouble," Makoto hisses, cheeks turning a bit pink as the boy awkwardly avoids looking at them.
"Why would she get in trouble?" Kagami asks blankly.
"Yeah, why would I get in trouble," Suzue emphasizes, unimpressed as she cocks a hip, crosses her arms, and keeps staring.
Makoto's eye twitches, irritation beginning to overcome nervousness as glares at the side of Suzue's head, drawing up to his full height of two centimeters shorter than her. "Suzue."
"Ma-ko-to," she sing-songs mockingly.
"Kagamiii," Kagami pipes up, grinning as they both turn to him.
"Now that we've confirmed you all know each other's names," Madara interrupts, shifting onto his side and propping himself up on an elbow to look at them with an annoyed scowl, "why don't you lot explain why it was you came up here?"
"Kagami's too short to carry us," Suzue explains blithely.
"I am not short!" Kagami argues, staring up at the preteen girl whose chin was level with his head. "I am perfectly sized for my age! Just watch, I'm going to be even taller than Lord Izuna one day!"
"And even if that was actually saying much given Lord Izuna's height, you're still adorable right now," Suzue says, patting Kagami on the head as Makoto makes a pained face next to her at her undiplomatic comment, eyes darting towards the two adults.
"What was it I said about the kids earlier?" Madara muses to himself, giving Tobirama a pointed look over his shoulder as he folds his left wing between his back and Tobirama.
"Anyway!" Kagami spins around, wings fluttering as he dawns a hopeful look. "You can help carry them so we can go flying, can't you Lord Madara?"
Tobirama resists the urge to smirk as both Senju children abruptly blanch at the request, sending mildly horrified looks at an oblivious Kagami's back.
"Not a chance," Madara refuses, finally dragging himself up to a seated position next to Tobirama with his tail curved back awkwardly as Kagami smiles at him winsomely. "I just carried far too much weight over a ridiculous distance after dealing with not-flocks of really infuriating people. Don't try making that face at me, Kagami! Go find someone else."
"That's alright!" Makoto says quickly as Kagami opens his mouth and Suzue unsubtly elbows Makoto in the side this time, trying to drill holes in the side of her cousin's head from the force of her stare. "We really wouldn't want to impose, Lord Madara. I'm sure there are a lot of people who are, uh—" His eyes dart briefly to Tobirama and how they're sitting. "—less occupied! I'm sure Mr. Hikaku knows some people. Right, Kagami?"
"What is even with you guys?" Kagami asks, bewildered as Suzue looses her patience, grabs the back of Kagami's shirt, and makes a rapid retreat with Makoto towards the steps. "It's like you've never seen preening before, which is ridiculous because you helped mom preen my wings when we all got covered in mud."
"Kagami, it's Lord Tobirama!" Makoto hisses, mortified as only a preteen boy confronted with feelings can be while Suzue throws the adults a half-assed comment about 'sorry for bothering you' over her shoulder.
"So? Even after I grow up, I'd let him preen my feathers too if he wanted. Lord Madara letting him isn't a surprise except for how long it took for them to start an— Hey! You're going to make me trip, Suzue!" Kagami exclaims, as they reach the steps before squawking as the Senju girl ignores all manners and just hauls him over the shoulder. "What is wrong with you guys?! Put me down!"
"This is what you get for making dumb suggestions!" Suzue snaps, stomping down the steps and ignoring Kagami's flailing wings or the tail hitting her head.
"What dumb suggestion!" Kagami cries, voice echoing back up the stone pathway. "You were both excited about flying and Madara never drops people for fun unless they piss him off! He's a good choice!"
"Are you just overlooking it or are you really that dumb!" Suzue demands, voice fading as she rapidly gains distance while a pale but pink-cheeked Makoto bows to the both of them before running after the other kids like his life is at stake. "Even if it wasn't there, you don't ask clan heads to lug our asses around!"
"But he's not busy! If he doesn't want to he'll say no, but you can't know without asking!"
"That's not how it works!"
"Is so!"
"Is not! Makoto! Makoto, grow a spine and back me up on this... clearly doe-... idea what he's..."
There's a few moments of quiet as the kids retreat before Madara shifts. "... Is there a reason they seem to be acting as if they walked in on something inappropriate?" the flier asks, voice a little suspicious as he stares over at the steps where they can still hear the faintest hints of the kids arguing.
Tobirama raises an condescending eyebrow in Madara's direction only to sigh at the genuine bafflement he can catch in the Uchiha's expression. "That would be because it would likely be considered a level of inappropriate physicality by most humans," he explains. Then Tobirama pauses and has to admit: "Also, I tend to avoid most physical contact outside of training and my brother so that no doubt added to their reaction."
"Why is it inappropriate?" Madara demands incredulously.
Tobirama just stares at the man with a raised eyebrow for a long, long moment until the answer clicks on in Madara's head and then snorts in amusement as pale cheeks flush red. "Humans don't generally groom one another. Especially in public. It tends to have very... intimate implications."
"That is a blatant lie," Madara argues, voice squeaking before he scowls at himself. "I know you have public baths where perfect strangers bathe together. How is that not inappropriate then! And, and there's Hashirama! He practically ambushed me last time to help with my wings and that was in your compound!"
"Onsens work on a different cultural standard," Tobirama dismisses, grabbing the tip of Madara's left wing now and stretching it out to work on straightening a particularly crooked handful of feathers. "And different standards are what my clan puts into play when they see him with you. Also, it's Hashirama - he's well known for unashamedly standing out of the norm." A smirk edges up his lips as Tobirama makes sure he's looking at Madara. "There is the minor fact they have bets running on if you're sleeping together or not though."
Madara splutters, face cycling through horrified embarrassment, indignation, defensiveness (and wasn't that interesting), and a wild-eyed and crazed look that's far more satisfying than anything Tobirama had expected.
The Uchiha flock leader attempts to speak several times, making a few squealing squawks that are more reminiscent of alarmed geese and stuck pigs than words. "That's not—! That's absurd, I do not—! It's Hashirama! GET THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE!"
"I'm sure they'll let it go eventually," Tobirama says blithely, threading through more feathers as Madara tries not to die next to him. "Perhaps in a few more months. A year or two at most, depending on when Hashirama's engagement with Mito is successfully concluded. Unless you allow her to preen you as well of course, although at this point I'm sure you're able to intuit for yourself the amusing rumors that will result from that action."
"If you mention any of this to Izuna I will throw you off this mountain!" Madara swears in a shrill whisper before coughing and pointing at Tobirama's nose rudely. "Now don't change the subject! Why would kids balk about it being you when they don't around your brother? They have to know you're in it for the science if they know you at all."
"I suppose the children skipped that valid reason for preening and focused on a different motive that they empathized with more."
"See! You- wait, what other motive?" Madara asks sharply, abruptly dropping his lingering embarrassment as he zeros in on the implication.
"That depends," Tobirama says deliberately. "What was your motive for accepting?"
"They're a mess, you offered, and I trust you not to rip feathers out," Madara answers, crossing his arms. He holds Tobirama's gaze, completely unashamed, but there are small fidgeting, twitches in the wing muscles under Tobirama's fingers.
"So if I ask Kagami about wing etiquette, he'll tell me preening is done between anyone who doesn't rip out feathers?" Tobirama asks. "Or perhaps I'll ask Izuna? Hikaku would likely be more helpful, but for the sake of good political relations it's more appropriate to ask you or Izuna about potential cultural differences to prevent future misunderstandings."
Madara presses a knuckle firmly against the pressure point between his eyes as his ears tinge pink through the fall of his hair, visually recognizing both the implicit threat and the trap in Tobirama's words but not able to do much about them. "Preening is not a thing," Madara insists, voice slightly strained as he refuses to look at Tobirama. "Regardless of what perverted grounder minds think, it is not a thing! People would not do it around or to children if it would be a thing and that, that preconception that seems to get fetishized by people is offensive."
"And you are embarrassed because..." Tobirama counters dryly.
"I am not embarrassed!" Madara snaps, head darting up to glare at Tobirama. While blushing. And bristling. And fidgeting in a manner which makes Tobirama want to poke him more. "There is nothing embarrassing about it!"
"So the part you're leaving out is..."
Madara huffs. "It's done between children and any trusted adults, but adults limit both the giving and receiving of the act to close family or people they implicitly trust if they have any choice at all. There. Happy, you interrogating ass?"
"... I wouldn't say happy," Tobirama answers softly, scratching gently at the black feathers in front of him and thinking of Madara's irritated reaction early when he'd professed interest in the anatomical structure of a flier's wings as a reason for his offer. "I think honored is a more accurate assessment."
Madara's glare at the side of his head falters, and the Uchiha shifts, mouth opening slightly before closing again as he turns to stare elsewhere while Tobirama proceeds to finish the last of the feathers on the back of Madara's wings.
"What were the rumors you referenced earlier anyway?" Madara asks quietly, ignoring how his longest flight feathers drag slightly on the ground when he draws his wings back in as Tobirama stretches out his fingers. "We might as well discuss it now."
Tobirama doesn't catch his slight grimace quickly enough. "If you like, but remember that they're simply rumors and assumptions that surfaced from other humans. They're outright wrong in parts and at least partly inaccurate in other areas. Refrain from losing your temper."
Madara narrows his eyes.
.
.
"This is uncomfortable and squeezes my chest," the little Senju girl complain, pulling at the leather flying harness as Kagami helps his male Senju friend into another one.
Izuna - who unfortunately owes Natsumi more than one favor and is thus stuck with handling her son's request for flying help rather than delegating it - casually smacks the back of Kagami's head when the boy opens his mouth. He's sure Kagami wouldn't say anything deliberately insulting, but the boy's slightly excessive honesty and friendly enthusiasm should not be combined with any comments relating to a female's chest until the kids are no longer Izuna's problem.
"Unfortunately," Izuna says with a sympathetic smile, "we don't have any larger ones for you. The latest any of our flock needs a harness is age ten since that's when our first major wing growth spurt is about half-way over. Since ten year old humans are much larger all around than ten year old fledglings, we're just going to have to work with it. I'm not taking any grounders up without a convenient way to catch you if—"
"THEY THINK HASHIRAMA WANTS WHAT! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEAR OUR MOUNTAIN!"
The kids all jump at Madara's furious shriek coming down through the open air outside the highest flight caves, and Izuna sighs, catching the inquisitive Senju boy before he tumbles over the edge to his death.
There's no follow up yelling from Izuna's dear brother to explain what in the sky that was about, and Izuna can already hear the trills and inquiring whistles of various kin carrying through the cave system as people begin to get concerned. Of course, none of them sound interested in investigating when the topic comes up which leaves it up to Izuna as usual.
Although this does mean that Madara has saved him the trouble of flying with the kids so there's that bright side.
"Well, Kagami, it sounds like duty bellows," Izuna says, spinning the boy who's already sighing in resignation. "Go have fun somewhere for a bit while I save my brother from his own blood pressure."
"Can we ask Mr. Hikaku to help instead?"
"Of course! Hikaku loves kids," Izuna chirps, unrepentantly exaggerating as he throws his younger cousin under a few child-sized boulders. "Just remember to be very persistent if he tries to turn you down. He's just a little shy."
Kagami sends him a weird look at the description but gets dragged off by his female friend before he can question Izuna on his rather unsubtle falsehood.
It'll be good for Hikaku anyway, Izuna's sure. The younger man should have practice with kids, lots of practice. He might pair up with a lovely lady who wants an entire nestful of hatchlings one day, who knows? It's practically Izuna's sworn duty as Madara's Second to ensure Hikaku is prepared for everything.
( It might also contribute to Izuna finally pinning down where Hikaku's temper is hiding because that's been a question that's nagged him during long, boring flights for years. No one should be that even tempered. )
And now all that's left to do is to go figure out exactly what's happening and how likely it is that Izuna might need to prepare to roast humans and dodge weaponry.
... He should also probably calm Madara down before his brother breaks both hospitality and everyone's eardrums.