Chapter Text
When did he start feeling like this?
Mikey couldn't tell anyone when, and he couldn't really tell anyone why, he didn't even understand it himself.
What he did know was that being all up and personal with Frank like this was making his hands shake and in this moment, holding Franks chin and letting go just to take hold of his lip instead, wasn't the right time to get shakey hands. Not when he was about to stab a hole in his lip.
"Shit, give me a count down. Wait no, don't, don't give me a countdown." Frank huffed out nervously.
"How about you stop talking before I give you a tongue piercing instead." Mikey murmured out, trying to hold Frank more still. And then it went through.
Frank sucked in a sharp breath, his jaw noticeably tensing while Mikey tried not to freak out over the fact that he could feel the needle he was holding go through Franks skin.
"Oh, god how did you convince me to do this." Mikey winces out his words as he moves his hand to grab one the lip piercings Frank 'borrowed' from Spencer's.
"I can feel the needle dangling in my lip hurry up." Frank tries to encourage Mikey to hurry.
Then, after a quick struggle of screwing in the small metal ball, Mikey sighs as he presses a swab of gauze from the, just in case first aid kit.
"I better look cool as fuck. I don't know why I ever trusted you with a needle in the first place. Should've asked Illi instead." Frank jokes as he follows Mikey out of his room to the bathroom, Mikey washing his hands and Frank taking the gauze off to look at himself.
"Illi's terrified of needles dickwad, besides I didn't want to do it in the first place." Mikey murmurs scrubbing his hands.
"Take a joke Mikes. I look fucking awesome." Frank hums out admiring the new addition to his face.
"Kissing is going to be awesome with this, just imagine." Frank huffs out happily, already thinking about the activity himself.
"I'd really rather not." Mikey quickly replys, trying to ignore the fact that for a quick second, he really was.
"You say you hate the feeling of time going so slow, yet you're basically doing the opposite of trying to get that feeling to stop. You're basically intensifying it." Pete breaths out, taking the joint back from Mikey.
"At least I'm in control of it. I'm purposely making the time go slow. Time ain't got shit on me anymore." Mikey hums out, leaning his face against the cold glass of Pete's half opened car window.
Mikey hadn't noticed when he became friends with Pete. Pete was different, firstly he had access to good weed. Secondly, Pete was actually Illi and Rays age, and he's only in Mikeys math class because he failed it the previous year. Thirdly, Pete didn't give a shit. At all. He was basically an open book unlike Mikey. Lastly, Pete understood. Understood what Mikey was feeling.
"Well, if time ain't got shit on you McMillin, won't you spend some real time with me?" Pete asks, stubbing the joint half way.
"Time for what? A date?" Mikey rolls his eyes.
"Yeah. A date. Unless you wanna keep using me for weed. Which, honestly you can keep doing if you really want to." Pete smiles out, leaning on the steering wheel while he continues to look at Mikey.
It feels nice. To be the center of one's attention. To be looked at. Like the way Frank looks at Illi. Mikey doesn't respond. Just closes his eyes. Wanting to pretend. Pretend the one who's looking at him right now was Frank.
"He's just.. kind of weird don't you think?" Frank asks, flipping through the cd rack in the music store they were at. Mikey just sending him a questioning look in response.
"Mikey, his nudes got spread around the school, and from what I've heard it wasn't exactly on accident."
"He doesn't seem like someone anyone should associate themselves with. Especially not you." Frank explains as he pulls out a cd from the rack.
"He's not a bad guy. Honestly he kind of reminds me of you." Mikey huffs out, pulling the cd from franks hand.
"'My Fair Lady' soundtrack? Who are you, Illi?" Mikey questions as he scoffs a laugh at the disc in his hand, only looking up at Frank when he doesn't respond.
Fuck. Frank was deep in thought, a hesitant look to his expression as his mouth open and shut. A light blush creeping on his pale skin. No. Shit. No.
"She.. Illi doesn't have that one yet does she? I mean I got a small glance at her collection a while ago but I'm not entirely sure." Frank asks somewhat sheepishly, looking at Mikey again.
"..not that I know of.. why." Mikey regrets saying. It was less of a ask and more of a small demand.
"I was thinking of just, getting her some things. I.. I really really don't want you to hate me Mikes." Frank starts blabbering out.
No. Stop. Shut up. Don't say it. Don't tell me. Mikey has a million thoughts running through his head. He feels himself subconsciously take a small step back.
"I don't even know if it's reciprocated and it's making me feel insane. I need to at least try, I'll regret it if I don't."
Live with the regret. Ignore it. Please. Just ignore it.
"I really like her Mikey. I really like Illi."
Mikey can feel his stomach drop. His lips shaking that he needs to bite them just to stop. He doesn't even know what expression he's making all he can hope that it isn't full of dread.
"Oh. Okay." Mikey responds. Handing Frank the cd back, turning to flick through the vinyls. And for a moment it quiet.
"Just.. okay? You don't want to, punch me or something?" Frank questions hesitantly.
"Do you want me to punch you?" Mikey asks, staring at the vinyls he's flipping through.
"Obviously not but I kind of expected a bigger reaction to telling my best friend I like his older sister."
"I can't do much about it Frank." Mikey rolls his eyes. Don't react.
"I mean it Mikey. I really like her. It's not a joke." Just shut up!
"Seriously, stop talking about it before I actually punch you. I know you're not joking." He glares at Frank.
"There's worse people that could like Illi. At least I know you." Mikey mumbles out, he wants to be supportive. For Illi's sake. Even if it's making him feel sick.
"God. I really thought you were going to punch me, like I was mentally prepared for you to." Frank breaths out, holding his face in his hands for a moment.
"I still could. You know."
"You'd never. You like me too much."
"Okay, I'm punching you."
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry." Frank laughs out looking relieved.
"Look on the bright side, we find you a girlfriend. Double date and stuff you know?" Frank reasons.
"Firstly, I don't really want to double date with my sister. Secondly, I don't need to find me a girlfriend, I'm planning on telling Pete I'd go on a date with him" Mikey sighs out. 'Planning' something Mikey decided he would do just now at this very moment.
"What?" Frank pauses looking at Mikey confused.
"What, what? He asked me like last week, kind of didn't give him a definitive answer." Mikey responds looking back at the vinyls in front of him.
"I.. guess I didn't.. uh didn't know you liked him like that.." Frank adds still looking at Mikey, while Mikey just shrugs.
"He's cute. So why not?"
Mikey doesn't understand why everyone was making such a big deal out of this.
Him going on a date. A date with a guy.
He didn't understand why Illi was having him put on a fashion show for her and he especially didn't understand why Frank was ignoring him.
"He hasn't talked to you? Like at all?" Illi asked as she picked up a pair of jeans from Mikeys floor, flapping them in the air for a second before tossing them to Mikey to try on.
Mikey just sighed, pulling on the skinny jeans she tossed him with a slight struggle.
"These jeans look exactly like the last pair I was wearing."
"Stop trying to change the subject Mikes." Illi scoffs out, her mouth full with a Little Debby cake, causing Mikey to give her a small look of disgust.
"It's not that Franks not talking to me. He's just being.. short." Mikey can't help but purse his lips to try and hide the smile appearing on his lips from the lame accidental joke he just made.
"Well, he's an asshole than. A homophobic one at that." Illi says rolling her eyes.
"He's not homophobic Ills."
"Did he tell you that? Why else would he be ignoring you? Or, maybe, just maybe we can try and circle back to the fact that he might like you." She hums out, as Mikey gives her a side eye.
He hated how just those words made his heart beat a little faster. Hates how he knows it's not true.
"Just- I just know Illi. Besides, my sisters trans. If he was homophobic I doubt he would be friends with me for this long." Mikey huffs out, threading a belt through his jeans.
"First off, that's called transphobia, and just because he's not transphobic doesn't automatically mean he's not homophobic. Either way though, if I find out he's is, I'm going to be IMing him some very hateful words." Mikey looked up from his belt at her words.
"…You have his number?" Mikey asks in mumble, trying to pay attention to buckling his belt again. He just wants to forget about Frank, just for tonight.
"Yeah. Of course I do. He's my little brothers best friend, I like knowing he could message me if your ever in trouble." Illi explains, taking another bite of her sweet treat as a car horn honks outside.
"Mikey! Hurry! Get your shoes on!" Illi exclaims excitedly as she tosses herself towards the window to see if she can see Pete, Mikey can't help but grin at the fact that she's more nervous about this than he is.
"Altima.. not too bad" Illi hums as she looks at Mikey again.
"Look at you. All smiles." She smiles out moving to put her hands on Mikey's shoulders.
"Okay, don't do drugs or get kidnapped. Tell me everything when you get home. I probably won't be asleep." Mikey just nods at her words moving to step downstairs when Illi lets him go.
And to his dismay Illi, who can never help herself from trying to embarrass him, follows him down and takes the chance to yell out the door when he's sliding on his shoes.
"Bring him back by 9, Wentz!" She shouts out.
"Of course, I'm a incredible influence McMillin!" Mikey hears Pete shout out back from where he's waiting in his car from the drive way.
"How was I supposed to know you're terrible at bowling. It's fucking, tossing a ball." Pete laughs out, flipping his hand to turn on his right blinker.
"You can't tell me you looked at me and thought 'hey, this skinny guy obviously likes lifting 8 pound bowling balls for fun.'." Mikey responds back with a laugh.
"I don't know what I was thinking, but it wasn't you tossing that ball into the next lane over."
"Fuck off, at least I didn't spill my drink on myself during dinner" Mikey smiles at the memory.
"I was trying to reach for the bread roll, that cup was in my way."
For once, Mikey felt like.. the light was a little bit brighter for him. For the both of them. Of course Mikey felt shitty for agreeing to the date just because he wanted to try and shove Frank out of his head but he does like Pete. Likes the way he makes him feel like he's his own person. That just him is enough.
"I don't know if I really want you to leave this car McMillin." Pete sighs out as he parks next to the side walk I front of Mikey's house.
"You gonna kidnap me now? After the good date we just had?" Mikey sarcastically asks, not unbuckling just yet.
"You admit that it's good. Meaning, next time we still have some room for improvement for it to be great." Pete hums out somewhat proudly.
"Next time?"
"Yeah. Next time. We don't need to decide when now, but I'd like for there to be a next time." Pete says softly looking at Mikey.
"..I could see there being a next time. Only because I'm intrigued in what you would do to make it great of course." Mikey jokes, as Pete looks at him. Inching closer through the center console before his eyes shift, but not to continue looking at Mikey but to squint at Mikeys house.
"Who is that?" Pete asks as Mikey shifts his head.
Frank.
"Shit. Uh, sorry that's my friend. I'm not sure why he's.." Mikey tells Pete as he quickly unbuckles, opening the door.
"I'll see you at school Pete, I had fun. Really" Mikey hurriedly says before closing the door and moving up to his front door.
"Frank? What are you-?"
"Mikey. You're back." Frank huffs out, standing in front of Mikeys house almost relieved.
"Yeah. I was out, with Pete." Mikey answers.
"I know." Frank nods, looking down at the concrete and scuffing it with his shoe.
Weirdly it felt awkward. More awkward than it ever has before and it scared Mikey. Mikey didn't realize how scared he'd been feeling recently until this moment. How weak it made him feel.
"You.. could you not trust me?" Frank suddenly asks, looking back up to Mikey who's giving him a confused look.
"I didn't know. You never told me. And I wish you did. I wish you didn't just.. say it like that because even if you don't consider it important I do. I do because your important Mikey." Frank rambles out quickly causing Mikey to feel like he's being ambushed.
"Frank-"
"You're my best friend Mikey and I need you to know I support you and that if you ever felt like you couldn't tell me then I'm an asshole. And that if I knew I wouldn't have constantly talked and talked about trying to-"
"Frank seriously!" Mikey interrupts with a shout causing Frank to freeze in his sentence.
"What the hell are you even talking about?" Mikey asked finally.
"What am I..? I'm talking about you being gay." Frank answers like it was obvious.
"That's what this is all about? Frank, guys, girls, I don't really care." Mikey groans out slightly, running his hand through his hair.
"Whatever. My point is I didn't know. You never told me." Frank sighs.
Oh. Mikey trys to think back, dig in his memory to any sign of him telling Frank that he liked guys. Nothing. Oh.
"Oh, sorry. I guess I kind of just sprung the Pete thing on you suddenly, didn't it?" Mikey murmurs.
"You don't need to be sorry, it doesn't change anything. I just kind of assumed you didn't tell me because you thought I would treat you differently and you randomly saying you were going to go out with Pete was you trying to sneak it in." Frank sighs out a breath of relief.
"No, of course not. You really didn't have to come all this way for it though. It's kind of late." Mikey feels somewhat bad that Frank walked all this way.
"..it's fine. Really. I needed the fresh air."
"Alright, uh, let me grab the keys I'll drive you back." Mikey tries to say before Frank interrupts him.
"It's alright, go inside, tell Illi about your date. I know she's dying to hear about it." Frank assures Mikey as he starts walking away.
"I'll see you at school!" Frank adds on with a smile, waving a hand as he turns to walk down the path.
Mikey watches him until he loses sight. Sighing at his stupid beating heart that sped up at Frank even after he was out with Pete. Clenching the door handle and twisting it, he steps inside, leaning on the frame for a second and closing his eyes before moving to go downstairs towards Illi's room.
"Illi, hey, I'm back." He says with a small smile knowing his sister is in fact dying to hear about his date due to the fact that he heard her gasp before shouting for him to come in.
"Mikes! What happened? Did he kiss you? Did you kiss him? Sit!" Illi asks excitedly as she sits up in her bed, a wide smile on her face as she pats next to her. Mikey just huffs out a laugh, making his way to plop himself down next to her, his hand pushing some stuff on her bed to make room. He's surprisingly eager to tell her, or he would be.
If it weren't for the small bouquet of flowers on her dresser, right next to a cd of the soundtrack to 'My Fair Lady'.
Oh.
Oh.
Frank wasn't there for Mikey at all. He was there for Illi.