Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The sound of her shouts mellowed out in the dark of the night. Stella's worry grew bigger when each one received no reply in return.

Stella narrowed her eyes down below to see if there was someone holding tight onto the vines but there was no one. She should be glad that there was no body so he might've survived, right? No, she couldn't be too sure, this city has never been that kind.

She stepped back from where he'd fallen and as if to taunt her, Saps's face drifted into her view. Like she was up close when his fall happened. His eyes, which had always caught her attention due to their star pupils now held no spark.

A moon that did not reflect the sun's light.

There was so much blood that dripped from his lips down to the floor, a visible proof that he attempted to bite back whatever made him to do so– definitely the infection which ultimately failed.

Yet when he bared his teeth at them, Stella saw how conflicted he was. Every time his mouth led forward, his body forced him back. She watched him flatten his palms, gripping his shoulder instead of piercing through the flesh.

And to Stella, despite all of that chaos it didn't make her hate him. The fact that he tried to resist to help them from himself until the end made him worth saving.

…No, he didn't need to be worth anything. The fact that Stella considered him as family is enough. Because he is. Just like Lyra is, just like the rest of the hostel are.

But the familial love they had built in Paradise was broken now. Stella and Thomas are the only ones that have managed to stay honest with themselves.

Mr. Flux and Agustus had abandoned them for a reason she doesn't know. Magic was trapped in her mind while her body had been possessed by the infection, forcing her to kill and hurt the people they both loved– even herself. Now, she can't find Saps.

"I–I can't see him– I.. " Stella spoke up, trying to find her voice. "I can't see him anywhere, Thomas." Their search through the darkness felt exactly like those endless hours of searching for Magic, and now, even though she's right there, she's not there.

Stella kept searching, and searching, and–

"I love you endlessly."

And failing.

This family has a thing about loving and leaving her, huh?

Thomas, who was right beside her, cut through her thoughts and cries. "It's too dark, Stella. Why– Why are we even looking for him?" The repetitive metallic clinking coming from his spyglass joined in their conversation.

Stella grabbed the clean hem of his bloodied sleeves, locking with his brown doe eyes to stare at his soul. "I can't lose any more people. I can't lose them– I.. don't wanna lose my family again."

Thomas huffed, crossing his arms with a contemplated look. "I know, Stella but.. he was about to turn right there. There's nothing we could've done, he literally tried to eat me, if you hadn't pushed him away then–"

"He wouldn't– he resisted! I don't know what had just happened but I know he was– is a good person." Stella insisted, Saps tried to help Magic even if that failed, he helped Gray, and he was trying to do the same for everyone. "You saw it yourself, Thomas."

"I think… the doctor was no longer a person at that moment, nor was he ever good." Stella’s fingers uncurled, her grip turning limp on Thomas’s sleeves before it slid away. The yells that had echoed in the roof were replaced with cries of grief.

Clack, clack.

Footsteps.

The entire roof went quiet. Stella felt her senses go numb, the cold atmosphere sent chills down her spine. "What happened here?" The voice still carried that dark tone, indifferent. Stella's frantic searching stopped dead as Thomas replaced his spyglass with a firearm.

Magic.

Saps sucked a sharp breath, awoken by the sound of distant screaming but then it paused, turning eerily still. When he opened his eyes, he let a slight hiss out at how much it burned to do so.

Everything appeared unclear and dark as usually did but when did it become upside-down? He felt a thick long verdant vine looping over his left ankle. It was most likely the reason why his fall was stopped. Fall? Well that'd most likely explain his position.

He remembers falling because he ran–

…From them. Right, he was hallucinating them. No– something happened before that. He was really hungry and he.. what did he do? Was his age getting the best of him, why can't he remember?

"..Saps! I'm sorry– I didn't mean– I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you that hard but you were– you were attacking Thomas, I didn't know..what to do– I'm sorry."

Saps teeth grit against each other to let out his frustration. Realization hits him like a truck, everything resurfaces albeit a little vividly.

Had he really tried to eat someone? That's wasn't– they weren't getting in his way, right? No, it was because he was hungry. Even so, he'd never resort to that method. That's disgusting and would only add more guilt to his conscience.

Or what was left of it.

He makes a pathetic attempt to ignore the mounting shame permeating through his already aching stomach. Of course it only fueled it more to hiss at him.

While slowly swinging back and forth, Saps noticed a surface pressing flat up to his waist however when it reached to his upper body only cold air accompanied him.

Saps could only suppose that he was directed at a broken window. That's alright, he just had to get out of here quick. Any exit will do because the infected will surely get him if he continued hanging around like this.

There was another reason that lingered in his mind, he just couldn't piece it back together yet.

He grabbed the frame, careful to avoid any fragments that were stuck inside. Slowly with deep focus, he twisted himself away from the probably infected filled road to the inside of the building.

The moon helped him make out some of things inside with it's light so that was good. No noises came from the inside so it was viable for now.

Thankfully the vines loose enough if he uses what's left of his strength. Saps held the frame tight., wishing that there were no shards in the floor or it'll hurt when he lands.

Not like he wasn't already hurting.

Thump.

The floor didn't do a great work softening his fall, his left arm had took the brunt of the drop. He forced his mouth shut to stifle a hiss. He could only hope it wasn't that loud enough for anyone to hear.

Saps glanced over to his ankle, which was still being held up hostage by the vine. And for a moment a blinding glint that reflected the a bit of the light caught his eye. There were some shattered glass in the floor.

He laid still in his side to catch his breath until he flipped himself to be flat on his back. He lifted his leg to see if he can feel anything and luckily it was okay. With a few more tries using his other arm, Saps was able to sit upright and reach over to the window shards.

Saps nabs one of them, being careful with the edge so it doesn't cut through his already injured hand. He slices through the vine while trying to not slash through his skin, it was hard to concentrate due to his hand trembling and how slippery it was.

Not to mention there wasn't enough light in this side of the room and he didn't have his glasses with him. Still, Saps continued to slice through the vine until he's freed from it's grasp.

With a harsh blink, the cloud hovering over his sight blew away. Much like it had when he'd seen the others on the roof. The reflection in the shattered glass forced him view his face once more, the same way he saw himself so clearly on Stella's eyes.

This wasn't right, he wasn't– he dropped his glasses earlier. How could he.. see himself?

What's wrong, not enough time left?

He stared at the shard, watching as the blood from his palm flow over the fragment, veiling him with red.

He doesn't wanna look any longer.

Crack. Crash.

He hurled the shard against a nearby wall, sending it crashing into thousands of pieces like a dying star bursting into fragments.

Saps repositioned his legs into a more comfortable one to find his footing. The ground beneath his feet was starting to sway and a stable part of his mind was telling him to rest.

He can't rest though, not yet. To ignore the hurt, Saps bit his lips shut though not hard enough to draw blood as he forced himself to stand up. The carmine in his lips felt normal by now.

The interior of the building was almost like a maze, remaining the same every time that he doesn't even know where's going anymore. It doesn't help that every step he took was painful as the infection within him overtakes his body in every second that passed.

"I'll help you then, if you are." A soft voice lingered in the air to haunt him. Saps froze in between his steps, hesitantly turning around to try and find the source.

It didn't take him that long to find where it was as the voice itself began to appear right besides him.

Saps knew him. He's his.. cousin though can't remember what his name anymore, or even how it sounded like. Saps swallowed the bile coming up his throat to answer. "…Really?"

The boy's body tensed before quickly drooping down as if he was lowering his guard. The tone in his voice was fond and gentle. No, that wasn't– he didn't act like that earlier, this isn't right. "In any way I can, I'm always willing to."

…What was your name again?

01.

Was that who you were?

Figures that resembled humans emerge from the darkness. Whatever left of light in this room faded away until all Saps can describe them as were either the color of their hair or their body language. "Please, you told me it would help– it hurts." One of them spoke up.

23

"Saps, this medicine feels funny." He couldn't see where they were but one thing he knows that the nervous manner of this figure quickly turned aggressive. "Why am I tied up?!– Saps, why am I– why am I tied up? You were gonna help me."

65

"Saps, are you.. okay?" Grayleigh. Saps doesn't know how long until he forgets her name or her in general. The cheerleader was the one that sparked hope within him, even for just a little while.

84

Saps shook his head. He doesn't have the guts to face them after all he's done. He failed them when he was supposed to save them. "Why are you here again? I told you to go away."

"You lied to me– you lied! You said you'd help me, you said– you promised!" A violent voice spoke out. Saps does know which one of them said that. There were too many of them appearing that he can't keep tract, it does ignite his anger though.

"Well, what choice did I have?!" Saps covers his mouth, that was way too loud. "…I– I was running out of volunteers and– If– If I couldn't finish the cure then–" Air vanished from his lungs, the walls drawing in closer to trap him in.

"Woah, it's like brewing these potion things are second nature to you, Saparata. How'd you make these from pills?" Saps raised his eyes only to see the other shadows split to let his lookalike draw near.

…Who's Saparata? Was that was his last name? No– he's– not sure anymore.

"Doctor." …Was that his name?

No, he's Saps. A field scientist. It felt.. fine albeit a little hurt something– to be called a doctor though, they always referred to him as that. The problem was, does he deserve to be called that?

"I'm..I.."

Another figure suddenly collapsed in their knees, clutching hard in their chest while their other hand battered into the floor, making a loud audible sound that Saps isn't even sure if it was real. "It hurts, what did you do?"

"I was just– I was just trying to help. I just wanted to help– I did. I, I was testing the vial– the cure so that– that– I.. uhm..I.."

"Don't scream at her." Grayleigh replied solemnly. Saps searched around to find her however only the darkness lingered. He remembers now, she said the same thing as the one in the church. Those were her last words to him, at least the ones he heard. "Saps…"

"You're all just repeating the same thing! What, have you run out of voice lines?! Just– just go away." Saps bit the inside of his cheek to muffle his frustration only t end up tasting the same metallic tang he'd gotten used to.

"It's not your fault, Saps." Gray persisted, her tone almost apologetic and comforting but he knows that sympathy was masked with mocking.

No, she couldn't do that. Gray was always cheering everyone on. That couldn't be it. The infection was just trying to confuse his mind, his theory was right. It was just overwriting his mind, his body, his whole being– it couldn't. It hurt.

Now you know what they felt.

Saps kept his eyes focused on the floor to get them out of his sight. The white and black tiled bled into one another, swirling to push and pull at each other. It was hypnotic.

The murmurs of the other voices stopped and only Gray's remained. "I know you tried your best." He raised his head to take a glance at Gray. She looked… human. Not the grotesque figure that he saw last, no, it was just.. Gray the cheerleader.

Saps felt enraged. She wasn't supposed to be here. "How many times do I have to say it?!" He gripped the back of his hair that he swore if he let go, white strands would fall.

A manic laughter erupted from the top of the building down below to where he was. Almost immediately he panicked and ran. Saps didn't look back however he knew that the shadows trailed behind him.

Saps scrambled down the spiral stairs, nearly missing a step if he didn't pushed himself forward. It doesn't matter if he was tired, he had to get away quick. Sweat poured down his face while the white sleeves covered in red stuck to his skin.

Another room.

This isn't the exit.

Where is he? Which floor is it?

Chests, bookshelves, vines.

"I trust you."

Where is he?

"Drinking this doesn't hurt, right?"

Another one.

"I don't wanna die, please I don't wanna die."

The same thing. Fuck.

They succumbed, when will you too? All nice things must come to an end.

Saps slowed down, almost falling to exhaustion until a violent cough stabbed his chest. Black spots consumed his sight causing him to make dash straight into a bunch of bookshelves in front of him.

His steps faltered, successfully putting a stop from almost being nailed into one of the rack. Saps snatched one of the books, throwing it directly to where the silhouettes were. "You're just–" a persistent cough stole his breath when he reached for another book to hurl it towards them. "You..were gone."

In an instant the shadows dissolved into thin air just as soon the book hit them. Saps felt paralyzed in shock. The beating of his heart became louder than anything else.

There was no one looming over him, mocking him anymore.

Were they even here at all?

Hungry.

Just shut up.

"Saps, I'm sorry and it's not your fault, okay? I know you tried your hardest and I'm forever grateful for everything you did even if I have only this day left." They're back– no, only Gray was. He can't see her however, her voice only remained.

"That's that's all because of you and I– and I know you can do it. Okay. I know you can find the cure." The pom-pom felt soft in his palms, but the moment he leaned to caress the wind swept it away.

I'm sorry.

So hungry.

Another sound came from above but this time someone was screaming his name. He has to get out now. He's not sure where or what he should even do but he just has to stay away from them.

Eat.

He raised his injured arm up to his lips, his saliva and blood leaked from his lips to the bruised skin. With no hesitation Saps forced his mouth shut and bit down hard.

There's only one thing to do left.

Saps clutched the strap of his satchel using his available arm. The blood that was stained in his hand bloomed across the brown fabric.

Above him, the shouts echoed once again, it doesn't stop him. If anything, it only drove him forward, forcing himself through to strain to go where the materials for the cure are. If there are any left at all.

Just one last time, so many have died already. He has to do it again, no matter how many trials it will take. He has to.

"You're willing to do anything, huh?" The voice he'd heard all throughout his childhood echoed softly in the night contrasting from the outburst coming in the roof. His voice shifted to a kid full of childlike wonder to a man he'd knew would never return.

Saps shoved the vision away. The moment his hand grazed the shadow, it disappeared in a blink. The sight wasn't real. The was just the infection getting to him. It wasn't real.

"…No matter the cost." Saps coughed out, ignoring the visible writing in the walls.

He swore that he'll finish this himself.

He has to.

Saps pried open the last barrel, and of course just like the other ones, it was hollow. He'd been ransacking this whole place, he even went to the the purification lab and the other one with weird other worldly structures.

But nothing.

He peered his right hand inside the wooden barrel to confirm. His fingertips dragged along the dusty surface, the wood threatening to splinter him but he couldn't careless. It was really fucking empty.

Saps grabbed the edge hollowed barrel, his knuckles turning white against the rigid wood. The light weight it gave only infuriates him more, like it was mocking him. Saps hurled the barrel in anger, hearing it drop over the floor with a loud clang.

"Why is there NOTHING?!" Saps screeched, the noise filling the empty silence hovering the entire area. Hours. He'd spent hours walking over and faltering just to go and search this goddamn place for– for whatever!

He was here to find something.

Saps stood up, heading straight to the next room. The pressure plate clinked below his feet as the iron doors burst open to let him view the sight. The chests, dispensers– even the brewing stands were all bare.

A sharp feeling hit him in his chest and right before Saps knew it, he was coughing roughly to the point his lungs were begging him to stop. Saps balled his hands up into a fist to slam into his lungs but it doesn't work, his throat felt so dry.

He needed water– there was a.. a river nearby, right? And the water.. water plant earlier. Their doesn't seem safe to drink though. But he needs something to keep his throat soothed and maybe that'll ease his hunger too?

Why the fuck is he thinking about water right now? It's something more important, why can't he remember?

Saps scratched at his throat, swallowing his saliva to provide moisture inside his windpipe. And for a second Saps could still sense the choking pressure of someone pushing him away by the neck.

The rhythmic thumping stopped. Saps’s hand fell away from his chest, hanging limp and useless at his side. His center of attention shifting to the empty floor in front of him, blending into meaningless shapes and colors. Where did he put his glasses again? His memory is hazy these days, it's tiring. Even aging doesn't do that.

It's just.. confusing.

"…What am I even looking for?" The words came out of his mouth before he could even think. It's true though, he's been here for a long time now however.. he's not sure why. "What am I.. doing here?"

He was here for something, he kept telling himself but what exactly does he need it for?

It was important, yes he'd already come to that. Materials. Right he wanted– he needed them for.. a– a.. vial. Something.. powdery? He had one one of those in his inventory, so that's good.

Saps kept forgetting.

Why does he keep forgetting?

He needs to remember.

He needs to remember.

His thoughts fly by while he wandered around the room. Saps stole a peek at the inside of the dispensers to check for something. It was like second nature by now. They were empty too. Saps deflated, the anger he felt from replaced with an eerie sense of frustration.

He shifted to where the the brewing stands were located. The fuel slot was cold when he touched it. This wasn't been used o a long time then.

A gush of wind blew his hair to the side, putting him out of his trance. The cold air ease up on him slowly melting into warmth. It seems like the the sun was dawning up soon, he could've sworn it was just sundown a few minutes ago.

Saps raised head and right away the piercing sunlight struck his eyes, hitting him at just the right angle to make him flinch away from the window.

Fuck.

Then an agonizing pain pinned him still. It was an excruciating burning sensation. It was as if someone had shot a hole in his heart. Saps clasped at his chest, freezing still when he noticed that there weren't any blood oozing from his clothes or wetting his hand. He wasn't bleeding– he wasn't..

Magic.

The Infection connects you if you're too far gone.

For a moment time seemed to slow down. Another phantom bullet pierces through his skin. There was no wound but it still really fucking hurts.

"You know, doctor.. Everything would've gone well If you had just saved them like you were supposed to."

Then maybe he could've helped everyone in this city.

The other bus passengers would be fine.

The group he stayed with would be happy.

And he would be..

…

A tingling sensation flickered all over his lower body, it left him numb. When Saps urged himself to walk, it felt like it was no longer attached to his torso.

In instant when Saps felt another bullet graze in his head, he dropped hard in the floor, landing on his back.

Saps remembered a time when he was young, it was so long ago, maybe a few decades. He along with the group he stuck around with ended up in an neighborhood.

While looking for books that might interest him, he got pulled inside of the houses by a boy who looked exactly like him. Saps doesn't know what their relation towards each other were, maybe they were family.

It feels like they were.

Together they discovered an old boxy television. When the boy flicked it on what they saw was swarm of and black dots littering the entire view.

They'd never seen that before, maybe it was because all they do is struggle to survive from the infected. Nonetheless it piqued Saps interest, it was what's left of the old world.

The other boy teased him of course, saying that he'd always had a knack about learning things that was why he'd been so weak however all of that was muffled by the noise the television made.

Static.

Saps doesn't know why this memory is resurfacing now.

Maybe because when he woke up all he could hear was the same static. Though it might be nostalgia getting to him, he'd never admit it out loud but he'd like to return to the time he wasn't alone.

When you didn't turn your back against the people you trusted the second they get infected.

He didn't though, he only tried to help them.

But you hurt them doing so.

Whatever it takes, right?

"…knife duo and that our that our number one enemy is doors!" A woman chimed in the silence, her tone humorous and full of amusement. Saps doesn't know where she came from, he's just glad that it distracted him from his thoughts.

Saps chuckled, not bothering to look up. "It's true, doors are the bane of my existence." He'd gotten frustrated with them a bunch of times before. Saps remembers how he got locked out of his own makeshift by an infected.

Subject.

"I'm grabbing spare buttons for the next time we– we get stuck on a place like this." ,

"Oh, that's a good idea." That line almost felt recited. Oh. He said that before.

Silence was all he got as a reply.

"…I feel sick."

Nothing.

"…Why aren't you responding?"

Saps dragged his numb limbs into a more comfortable position whilst trying to sit up straight. Saps's eyes snapped to every direction only to find nothing and no one was here with him.

Where did they go? …Stella– was it Stella? She was just here. He was left alone again, it's not safe.

His hands fiddled at the worn handles of his satchel, his fingers sliding to meet it's opening. Curiosity got the best of him so Saps lifted the flap of his bag, peeking an eye to check if the journal was there and it was. Safely tucked in away from other's eyes.

He pulled it out of its case, the tip of his fingers brushing against the old rigid cover. Saps knows what this was, he's spent years with this thing. It was what was left of–

Them.

And soon him.

This will be the testament that him and his allies once lived in this world to serve its cure.

Saps laughed, a dry exhausted laugh there was no time left. He's a fool for thinking that he could do for the last time. Magic's dead, there's no materials and even if he has some, it wasn't enough. The only thing he has is himself.

But he's rotting faster than he thought. Thinking he shouldn't have drank that vial so soon. How could he not though? Everything seemed perfect, the color, the way it reacted to the environment– it looked the exact same as with Grayleigh's version.

The infection overwrites the body so the cure must overwrite back even just a bit but it didn't. Did it adapt? Did it recognize that it carried the same blood so instead of fighting back it joined as one? No, that couldn't be it, there were healing properties mixed with inside. Did it dilute? Was it weak enough to properly mix with the blood?

Was it because Magic was different? Saps doesn't get it all. His headache worsened as his head filled further with hypothesis after hypothesis. Whatever sane part of his mind begged him to test and try to experiment just to find out the reason why.

Once again, he swallowed his grievances and repeatedly reminded himself that there was truly no time left, he only had a mere two hours left until he fully lost his form and mind.

The only thing left to do was to pass the journal to another as he cannot take this cure down with him. Otherwise, everything that he sacrificed for a desperate gamble to spark light in a decaying world would all be for naught, resting in vain.

And he knows the right person to pass it on.

Saps flipped open the book and skimmed through the pages. The words written burned his skin every time he traced its letters. Finally, after a few more minutes of him scouring through the past, he ends up in a blank page.

Saps fished a pen from the pocket of his coat, it was covered in moss. Magic gave him that. He wonders if he'll turn green like it too, or has he already turned so? Saps shook his head, and began writing.

He jotted everything down, every hypothesis that formed in his mind, how he felt, everything needed, and lastly, a letter. For the first time his journal had been inked not with research, but with goodbye.

Saps stored the blaze powder inside the pen, clipping it into the page to serve as a bookmark. He let his finger rest, it turned callous after profusely writing for half an hour however when he moved them again, he could no longer feel anything.

It was as if he was trapped inside an enclosed space, ready to be buried alive by the heavy sand falling on him as needles pricked the skin all over his body.

His stomach snarled at him, no longer willing to tolerate his stubbornness to starve. Saps groaned in frustration since can't do anything since was in pain. It only furthered more, clearly begging for something– anything at this point.

A need to devour.

Distracting him from his writing, a monstrous groaning echoed from outside the building.

…Would it care if it didn't have to be human?

Saps forced himself to move, slamming the journal shut. He just wanted to eat. Saps slid his satchel off of him, letting it drop with a small thud. He can hear how the bottles inside break into smaller pieces.

There was a hole tore in the wall, more than large enough for him to use it as an exit. Saps moved to reach for the way out. The warmth of the sun fully enveloped his body. It was nice, really nice.

The noises from the side of the building grew to amplify, as if sensing him coming to approach.

Saps walked directly to where it came, only to be met face–to–face with deformed infected as verdant as the field of grass he stepped on. Sooner or later that is what will be of him, he'll die to the same rot.

And for the first time for what felt like centuries, Saps doesn't sink his teeth in his own skin.

The wind blew a kiss on her cheek, it was comforting in a way. Stella had tried her best to be upbeat and whimsical as usual, especially now that one of her family members is back, so she's supposed to be happy but–

Stella's hand trembled whilst she looked over at the green fields. They were inside a passageway connecting to an escape, secretly observing the view. She balled her hand to a fist, pressing tight in an attempt to stop.

Stella wonders the same thing Saps had said to them. He was right. How could such a beautiful city still be able to shine even if it's ruined? Too bad it will burn down soon– or well.. blown away. Stella once promised Magic to do whatever it takes to burn this city if anything happened to her.

A small laugh erupted under hear breath. Oh, the irony of it all, she once swore to protect her, yet she was the main reason why she's gone now. And the city will destroy itself.

Right after her argument at dawn with Magic, Stella and Thomas left to visit the gun shop as a way to rid themselves of what happened. Eventually, worry got over her and she asked Thomas if they could comeback one last time to look for Saps.

If they didn't, then it may as well serve as an ode of goodbye to the place they once called home.

But when they arrived, only Magic was there.

Then, bang. A shot to her heart and her brain.

Stella still remembered how her decayed body dropped cold in Chuck's gravestone.

Stella shook her head, she can't think negatively now, it'll all be over soon. She thinks back to her speech she made earlier, even if they had lost the people who were important to them in their journey, all those memories they've spent together will forever remain in their hearts.

They'll have no choice but to keep moving forward, and live in their name.

Stella's attention diverts into the other two, Mr. Flux and Thomas huddling in the side of he mountain, his shirt still having the print that Saps had given. Stella hoped that in some way, he's still alive and is far away from this city.

Since Magic was the one that infected him, and she was different from all the other infected people… maybe, just, maybe he can hold out long too.

…But that means he'd have to suffer the same way, won't he? No, maybe he could've figured out the cure by then. Yeah, positive though only! Saps was one of the smartest people she knew, and also the most determined out of everyone.

The three of them returned to the to where the boat was. While they were walking Stella noticed the sound of grass loudly crunching paired with heavy panting coming from behind.

Stella tensed up, it was most likely an infected.

Stella turned back, stepping from the shadows to cherish the sun's shine. There was someone moving in the grass.

Someone she thought she'd never see again.

Stella couldn't help to let out a genuine laugh of happiness, and how could she not? "It's– it's you!" She yelled out loud, the white figure that stuck out like a sore thumb in the overgrown weeds perked up.

He gave no reaction at all. Stella could only see how rugged and stained his white hair had become compared to the first day she'd met him. "Saps– Saps I'm here!"

"Saps!" Stella ran to reach for him, a wide smile visible in her face. The other two seemed to follow behind her just as quick when they heard her say Saps's name.

"Stella!" Mr. Flux's voice rang out but Stella doesn't pay any attention until his hand caught her wrist pulling her into a stop from approaching Saps. Right, their last interaction with each other wasn't so… good.

Please. Don't let this turn out to be another argument, she's just so happy that he's still alive

"No– no, Flux, It's alright. He wont– he won't hurt me." Stella pulled Flux's grip away, facing him with pleading eyes before drifting back and forth between the three of them. She sighs in relief seeing that Saps was still there.

"You literally said an hour ago that he attacked the both of you!" Mr. Flux recalled her words while they were traveling in the road.

Stella pursed her lips in confusion. Wait a minute, hey- that was not what she said at all! "No, he didn't!" At this point Stella is gonna drag Mr. Flux along with her if he didn't let her go. His grip wasn't that hard but it sure was difficult to get away.

"Well, he did try to eat me but I think he was also trying not to..? It looked like the infection forced him to do it, still–" Thomas butted in, not so discreetly looking past Stella while he stays behind Mr. Flux's side.

Mr. Flux started to scold the two of them until it eventually ended up in a nonsensical bickering. Stella flickered back to where he was– and the sight halted Stella in her rebuttal towards Mr. Flux.

Stella froze when her eyes met his. The bright stars that served as the light in eyes has now fully disappeared. His bloodshot stare was paired with dark circles that hung underneath. His more than usual pale skin doesn't help either.

Saps blinked his eyes shut and with that Stella's attention diverted into the blue veins that stood up sharply in his face. His face in the meanwhile was still covered in blood, it appeared almost fresh. Stella hoped that he didn't do anything rash.

"I think I was supposed to find you." Saps spoke up, cuttings through their argument. Mr. Flux paused through his exaggerated gestures whilst Thomas narrowed his eyes. All their attention drew back to the scientist.

Stella snapped out of her daze. "We've– we've been looking all over for you too. We thought you didn't survive the fall and– and.. are you okay, Saps?" Each intonation of her words were covered with worry and severed by tears.

Saps drew near hesitantly. Immediately seeing this, Mr. Flux let go of his grip on Stella only to rush her behind him and flashed his gun, aiming right at the other's head. "Stay away, Doctor."

"No! No, no, Flux, don't shoot! Please– please, don't shoot, he's fine! Please, Flux, let's not fight. I'll handle this." Stella hurried to shove the metal barrel away from his hands but Flux kept still.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Saps blurted out, complete unfazed at the situation. Flux's grip faltered only for a moment the same time as Stella's expression fell. He's forgotten again.

"Do you not remember us, Saps? Is– is it the infection? Are you okay?" Stella stepped over Mr. Flux. He said that he won't abandon his family, so Stella will do the same.

"Well, you're kind of.. familiar. I don't recognize you clearly though." He shrugged, the journal pressing in his side now that his bag was nowhere to be seen. "Uh, can you– can you tell me your name? oh, wait, sorry– your names?"

"Oh, uh," Stella sniffled, trying to hold back the tears swelling in her eyes. "I'm Stella, these two are Mr. Flux and Thomas, we're your friends." Stella ignored the frown Mr. Flux gave and the awkward smile Thomas did.

"You.. told me that you came here for the M.O.O.N lab, and I told you that I was here for my sister. You said me you would help me find her–" Stella took her turn to trail off, in hopes that he'll remember anything.

This was worse than the first time he forgot his memories because he immediately knew her and her name, now he doesn't. It's just.. familiar to him.

"But then I lost you and then I found you again but I kept losing you along with everyone." At this point, Stella's not even sure who she's talking about anymore, was it Lyra? Was it Magic? Or was it Saps? Because they'd all just keep disappearing from her.

To the point some entered a place where she can't go.

Thwack.

Did he just threw something at her instead of answering? Saps's center of attention was fixed down the imaginary line in between the two of them. Stella followed his gaze, down below there was a wooden button tramping over the grass.

Huh?

Stella stared at him, not making a heads of tails at it. Saps broke into a faint smile. She'll accept it, even if it was covered in red. "So you won't have to break iron doors with your fist anymore."

Oh.

Oh.

"Yeah– yeah, thank you." She inched closer to grab the button and using it as a chance to walk further towards Saps, much to the Mr. Flux's annoyance. "I think I lost the one I'd made so thank you. Hah, knife duo, right?" Stella smiled so hard that her cheeks hurt.

"The voices in your head told you that." Saps stalled, closing his eyes for awhile. He looked almost at peace. When he awoke once again, Stella saw how his dark eyes turned into a gray for a moment.

It must've been a trick of light.

Saps relented, as if a sense of clarity had hit him.

"They did. Saps, do you– you remember us now? Like, Thomas and Mr. Flux too?" A deep exhale escapes from her mouth, it was like a heavy weight had lifted a little bit from her shoulders.

"…Yeah I do." Saps dragged the available sleeve to wipe the carmine on his face but it was a useless effort, it still remained. "Sorry, I keep forgetting. It's really frustrating, I don't know anymore. I think I'm getting worse. "

Stella slid the button inside her pocket, becoming company with the dagger Magic had last given her. "It's okay, we'll help you, Saps. We can get through this, do you wanna join–"

"That night in the hostel." Saps spoke up, unknowingly cutting her off. His expression glimmered with regret prior to turning away to meet with Thomas's eyes, not minding how Flux's seemed to follow. "I'm sorry for that. I didn't know what I was doing."

"Oh, it's alright! We're okay. Don't worry, Saps." Stella was quick to answer. It wasn't him at that moment, it was the Infection. And when it happened, he didn't let it consume him.

He fought back to not let anyone get hurt, perhaps it was because the only thing Saps wanted to do was to help people. He's a good person, he could never do anything harsh.

"Eh, it's fine? I mean it did hurt and you were all infected up in my face like that but, I guess." Thomas tugged the end of his red bandana, sounding almost hesitant.

"It's not." Mr. Flux grumbled, the muscle below his right eye kept twitching. His gun that was pointed at Saps didn't lower even an inch. Saps left the end of this conversation hanging by not making a rebuttal.

Stella fiddled with her braids awkwardly, unsure of what to do. After a few more seconds of awkward silence, Saps spoke up. "You know it's Magic, I'm presuming?

He must be talking who infected him. Stella knows that all too well, Magic's infected side told her after his fall. Stella's hatred for the infection itself only grows stronger. It took to many people from her life. "Yeah, she told me."

Saps only hummed as a retort. Stella shifted conversation into another less it become strained again. "Do you– I have your glasses, do you want them back?"

Stella lifted the temple of his glasses off her jacket, offering them back to him. All of the sudden Mr. Flux snatched the glasses in her hands and threw them at Saps, who somehow managed to catch them.

"Oh, okay that was rude. You're very rude, Flux." The way Saps said Mr. Flux's name was almost mocking. He slid the frames in his face, settling the bridge easy on his nose. "At least, I can see a bit better now."

"It's kinda broken, me and Thomas tried to fix it earlier but uh, you can see how that turned out." Stella remembered how Thomas had nearly broken the bridge of his glasses, and how focused they had been to be careful wiping the glass or else it'd be littered with more cracks.

Thomas laughed nervously, knitting his eyebrows together with an awkward smile. "You're not gonna eat me right?"

"‎No, I already ate some rotten flesh earlier.. I feel a bit better." Saps said, his tone as easygoing as if he was talking with them about how lovely the weather was today.

An uneasy chuckle came out of Stella. "Was it at least tasty? I don't imagine that it is.." Stella shivered at the thought of Saps eating the flesh of an infected, but whatever helps him, right?

"Yeah, it tasted yummy." Saps licked his lips as if searching for more traces of the rotten flesh. Stella wonders if being infected and hungry makes you have.. weird taste?

"I'm not sure if that's ethical." Thomas chimed in their conversation. Stella shook her head, Thomas and his thing about ethics, she swears.

Saps shrugged. "What do I know about ethics?"

"Why are you guys talking about it like it's casual?" Mr. Flux cut through their conversation, stepping forward besides Stella but his eyes are pierced through Saps's. "Stella, stay away from him, he's dangerous. He's the reason why everything went to shit in the first place!"

"You were the one that gave her that vial, not me. You're the one who hurt your family, you're the one who left." Saps argued back, this time however his words weren't laced with deep hatred as it did before.

Stella eyes widened as Mr. Flux's finger threatened to drew closer on the trigger. "Don't you dare talk about me like you know it all! It's all your fault and you know it. Get the fuck out, doctor."

In a panic, Stella's hand shoved the muzzle of the gun away from Saps's view. "Stop! Just stop, please. Do we really need to fight right now? It's no use. We all tried our best to help her.

"Stella," Mr. Flux sighed, begrudgingly letting the tip of his gun meet with the grass. "he hurt Magic, he tried to eat Thomas– that's not helping anyone! I knew from the start he's not someone we can trust, he's hurting our family."

"No, he's a part of this family." Stella interfered before Flux could say anything more. Saps was the first ally she'd made in this cit.y. "Just like all three of you are! Flux, we went through this, we– we went through this, please. I've already.. I've already.."

"She's dead, isn't she?" The solemn words bled from Saps's lips. It felt eerie every time he spoke. Stella could only offer him a weak nod to confirm his suspicions.

"…I– I had to kill her, Saps. I had to kill her because she's not her anymore. The infection was becoming worse and I don't want– I can't bear to see her hurting others," Zora. Saps. "and herself." Every time she moved the dagger Magic had given her felt like it could pierce her through her pocket.

Stella sensed the silent sorrow and words left unsaid by Saps. "She shared a grave with Chuck since– since they died in the same spot, is that how you found out, Saps?"

"I.. honestly didn't pay attention to the grave though I know that she died. Like the infection said, we're connected one way or another but we aren't the same." Saps said, his stare becoming vacant and dazed.

"So that means even if she was the cause, it'll work out for me the same way," Saps explained, his expression fully dropping. "Magic was special. She resisted it longer than anyone had. I've never seen anything like it, I can't even understand it– was it her biology or her will to live?"

Something about how Saps stopped seemed like he was holding himself back from saying anything more. "…I'm sorry." At that moment the rings of his irises slowly bled to a faded gray, consuming the void.

The other two took noticed right away and insists that they should go now but it all goes deaf in Stella's ears. "‎It's okay, it's not your fault, Saps. You did your best to help her– to help everyone, all of us."

No reply came.

"You should come with us. There's this boat that– that Lyra left us. We could go there right now and sail off far away from the bomb, if that's what you're worried about." Stella really hasn't thought about the bomb for awhile considering that it was a big problem too.

Saps still greeted her with silence. "We'll help you get better! It's okay, Saps." Stella pleaded, her voice rising with panic. "I'm sure we have some of the stuff needed to make another cure! maybe– the soup could help?"

Nothing, not a little hum or anything, he was just blankly staring at her no, at all three of them like he didn't know them at all. Is he dissociating? Did she have to do what Nobody did again?

Stella’s composure shattered. "I promised to protect my family and Saps, you're a part of it– you're a part of it." Stella paused, her frustration growing every second. "Why aren't you responding? Saps, please? Are you okay?

A chilling tranquility seemed to settle over him. His expression was something she couldn't describe. Was it sorrow or regret? "I can't.. join you. ‎There's no time for me left, I'm turning soon."

"I don't know how much time I have left."

She'd seen this scene before.

"‎When I first set foot in Paradise, I knew right away I was never meant to leave. One way or another my story will end right here."

"I don't think I'm making it out of here alive."

Every word that Saps said, Stella's mind paralleled it with Magic's.

Saps raised his journal pointing it right towards her, the weathered leather somehow managing to stay clean even after Saps himself was covered with blood. "Here take it, I.. can't bring this down with me but I hope the world will know that.. I tried."

"If you have to… use this."

Stella's day ones.

She had to witness one of them fall to deep despair, take her final breath, and hear her final words. Now, it was happening all over again. That won't happen– that can't happen. Stella's has lost so much in this city and the last thing it'll do is take more?

Instinct took over, and Stella drifted away from Mr. Flux and Thomas without a second thought. All their shouts go one ear in and out the other. They may have thought of their found family as five but for her it will always remain as six.

Stella's hand reached for the journal with a fragile smile marked in her face. Her eyes stung when her eyes crinkled. The tears she tried to prevent from coming had spilled over. Once her fingers grab hold of it, Stella yanked the book from his hands abruptly to pull him along.

Then, she dragged him into a warm, firm embrace. Stella can't accept this goodbye however if it is then her last physical interaction won't be her pushing him away. She can feel his hands brush over her back with slight hesitance until he ultimately returns it whole.

It wasn't as tight as she held him but that was enough for her. "You're one of my day ones, Saps. I want you to know that you will always be my family. You're a good person, Saps. I know that you are."

"Even if you don't think so. You've helped everyone, you've helped Gray, Magic in some way– and you've made me have these wonderful memories with you." Stella choked out, burying her face in his lab coat, no matter how bloodied it may have been.

Saps placed a steady hand on her shoulders, easing her back to end the embrace. Instead of fully letting go, Stella still clung to his calloused hands.

"..You should go now." He whispered. "I think I'll have enough time to remain being me before the bomb explodes." Saps averted his gaze too quick and If it wasn't for his sudden cough, Stella might've thought he couldn't bear to look at her while he lied.

"I just don't have enough to join you guys.. but I'll remember you within my last moments."

"You will?"

"I will."

Stella's tight grip on him loosened as a sign of reluctant acceptance. She retreated back to the pair, cradling the journal like it's the most important thing in the world, well, it kinda is. "You're a good friend, Saps. Thank you for everything."

Even if his face was all covered in gore and seemingly sick, his eyes creased while a genuine smile flashed on his lips. This wasn't night time, he wasn't holding a lantern yet he still shone so bright.

The tears kept coming, blurring the image of his bright smile. She forced a small chuckle, remembering what she said earlier, the people she loves might be gone but the memories they brought aren't

They'll be with her in every part of her journey.

All four of them flinched as the two's farewells get interrupted by a loud broadcast that was definitely heard throughout the whole city. Her heart sank, Stella couldn't quite comprehend the words said but she just knows that it was time.

A siren blared through the speakers, cutting into their panic. Saps shouted over the noise even if it was cut off by his coughs. "Go! go home! Block the tunnel, go to your sister– find her and– quick! go, just go." Before Stella could even reach for him, he ran.

Mr. Flux took Stella’s hand again and seized Thomas’s with his other, hauling the both of them through the dark tunnel. Stella forced her feet to comply. The sound of Thomas and Mr. Flux's stressed "We gotta go" filled her ears in every step.

Stella tried to focus on the path ahead but her gaze was stuck with Saps frame who grew smaller. Unexpectedly, he snapped eerily still like a deer caught in headlights. Her line of sight of him was covered with Thomas fumbling to block the way out.

Stella couldn't process anything, lost with grief that had settled in her all over again.

"Are you ready?" Thomas grinned albeit a little fractured. He was practically sweating buckets that Stella thinks his grip on the wheel would slide off.

Stella let out a sharp breath, dropping her hands from her face. She turned around to parrot Thomas's question to Mr. Flux. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Mr. Flux nodded with a faint smile. That shiny armor that he found still made her uneasy. Even so, she's just glad he's here now.

The boat's engine let out a deep roar, signaling their departure. Stella’s focus drifted away from her family to the blocked tunnel outside. It was nothing more than wishful thinking truly– she simply hoped Saps had instead fled into Lyra's home nearby, so that in some way, he could pass away somewhere safe.

Crack. Crack.

That definitely didn't sound like the engine, was something collapsing? Stella whipped her head towards he blocked tunnel just as a harsh light seeped through the cracks. Shit, there was an infected breaking in. "Thomas, go, Thomas, drive– drive!"

"What? It's not a car! Just wait, it's on– it's on! We're moving right now–" Thomas hand flipped the engine lever deeper. He didn't have the chance to look back as all his attention were directed at the steering area.

Mr. Flux took notice of Stella's worry, immediately bringing his firearm up to directly aim at the tunnel through the broken pane in his side. "This doesn't sound good, let's get moving–"

An earsplitting screech interrupted Mr. Flux. All of them froze, It sounded entirely inhumane, yet far different from the typical cry of an infected.

The boat surged forward almost immediately, bursting out of the dark cave and into the sun's light and the ocean's breeze. If it wasn't for Stella holding on tight she would've fallen on the floor sideways.

The figure dragged their mutated being to the deck. It opened its mouth once again, their ungodly shriek reached them faster than it did. They dragged even if is limbs tried to reach for them.

Her blood ran cold when she caught sight with the figure. A gunshot cut through the infected's cry. "Flux– flux, wait, don't shoot." Mr. Flux furrowed his brows with confusion, his finger was still on the trigger. "Don't shoot!"

Saps, you're a liar.

You didn't have enough time to remain being you after all.

The noble clothes that once defined him as someone who held importance were ripped and ruined. His fair complexion that once was bright as the moonlight were covered with rot.

The infected– no, Saps didn't chase them in the water, instead he just.. stood still again. His gray eyes locked onto Stella. She searched through the clouds of his distorted irises, yet she was unable to decipher what it said.

…Maybe it just meant goodbye.

Stella sat by the edge of the boat, dangling her bare feet to feel the cold. Right beside her was Thomas, who was reading the book that he'd found at Agustus's camp. In the meanwhile, Mr. Flux was at the side ushering the horses back in the boat.

Its been a few hours since they've left Paradise City and their farewell with it wasn't exactly a peaceful one. It must've turned to ashes and debris by now, along with the people she buried and the ones she never go to.

Saps's journal felt heavy in her hands. It was thick and cover looked like a few years too old. Stella narrowed her eyes only noticing a slight bump in the middle of the pages.

Curiosity bit her tongue as she flipped the book open. A pen had fallen out and landed in her lap, there was nothing more to it though. What caught her attention though was that her name was written first in the page.

She flipped back through the last pages, did he leave this for her? An idea popped in her mind. "Hey, do you guys mind if I read this out loud? I just… wanna share what Saps last wrote." Maybe it could help them understand him too.

"Yeah, sure– Wait… Is that the doctor's journal?" Thomas asked, shutting his own book down to peer at the one in Stella's hands. Mr. Flux does the same albeit his was forgoing the horses in the water to sit with them.

Stella nodded, taking a deep breath as she brushed the moss that was hiding the letters woven in the paper and began reading."…To Stella, ‎by the time I've left this to you, I'm either losing myself or I'm already lost."

She paused for a moment, he really did plan this. "I have no doubt you'll be troubled by the contents I've written in this journal and for that I'm sorry." It couldn't be that bad, right?

"For a long time ‎I thought that maybe when I completed the cure then the sins I had committed against humanity to make it would be forgiven. I was a fool to think that." Stella swallowed the lump forming in her throat. She's practically itching to know the full context of his story.

"When I couldn't bear it anymore, I tried to stop, of course, I'm sure you noticed that I only took in those who volunteered to do so but–" Each word were written slanted and sluggish. On the other hand the next line was neat and precise but it sent a chill down her spine.

"Morality becomes nothing when you are desperate, and I am a desperate man." Stella's breath hitched, Did he experiment on others when they weren't volunteers?

"‎I want you to know that every choice that I made, even if at the cost of everything, I did it for this world." Her heart felt too heavy to hold. "A part of me regrets it.. but it had to be done. I had to turn on those who were infected even if they were my– my relatives or friends."

He only did it for the cure, Stella tells herself.

Surprisingly the other two didn't make any comments about and comforted her when the tears came running down her face.

His intentions were aimed for the good of everyone, yet it was that very pursuit which led to his despair, and eventually his downfall.

He just wanted to help.

Stella choked in between her tears, reminding herself to keep reading. ‎"Of course… don't let it get to you as if it's a duty or a burden you must carry on, go through for the cure only if you are willing to. That's what matters most to me."

"‎…If you are succeeding my research then whatever you do in yours, the most important thing is that you don't lose yourself." Stella held herself back as to not curl the page with her grip.

Her mind goes back to Chuck, recalling how he'd also been looking for a cure– he'd stayed human, of course, but he turned… crazy. Still he was a great man.

"Don't cross a line you mustn't and resort to worse methods even if desperation crawls, don't lose being human." He doesn't want her to turn like him.

"‎Because that's the only thing we have left and what we'll have left." For Stella, that can't true. Humanity won't be the only thing left if this world truly falls into ruin because the memories, the love that came through friendship and family will also endure, it must endure.

"‎I think, that these still apply even if you don't but who knows? it might be of service on your journey." Stella froze as she read the last line. "‎I'm sorry for not being able to save the people you love."

"Sincerely yours, Saps... Saparata." She steadied her hands to flip the cover closed. It didn't spark any hatred for him, Stella just couldn't find the word to describe him.

After placing the book somewhere safe, Stella immediately pulled Mr. Flux and Thomas into a tight embrace. There was no hesitance laced in their response, only burying themselves into each other's warmth.

Stella's determination burned with a newfound passion. She will reunite with Lyra, keep her family safe, and she absolutely won't let Saps or anyone else die in vain.