Chapter Text
For the first few moments after waking up Emma keeps her eyes closed. She barely puts her attention on the morning light that finally became too bright, or the dog that's barking next door. Her sleepy brain would much rather focus on the warmth pressed against nearly every inch of her body, and the slow steady rhythm of someone breathing against her collarbone. The feeling is so right but so foreign, for one disorienting beat she's sure she's still dreaming, until Regina -who's practically sprawled on top of her- buries herself closer against her, arm draped over Emma's stomach beneath the blankets.
By the time she blinks awake for sure, she knows she should probably do something about their position now that she's aware of it. Because after their exchange in the bathroom the previous night, she's not sure if Regina would appreciate the closeness, even if unintentional. But something keeps her still, staring at the ceiling as a very different kind of warmth settles in her chest, and her fingers trace a path up and down Regina's arm before she can think better of it.
Her movements pause suddenly when Regina stirs and after a few silent moments she hears her make a quiet sound of protest into her chest.
"Why did you stop?" comes the sleepy mumble she can barely make up.
Emma's not sure she heard that right "You're awake?"
"Mhm" Regina barely hums in response "Keep doing that"
It's safe to say this is the last thing Emma expected to hear, so she waits for her to change her mind at first. When that doesn't come, she simply does as asked and her fingertips go back to Regina's skin, only slower this time. They move up to the slope of her shoulder in due time, and she feels rather than sees Regina melt under her touch. So much so that she becomes heavier on top of Emma after a few strokes.
It's... Incredibly easy, and that's a problem.
Because Emma has shared a bed with other people before. Ruby and Lily during sleepovers, whenever they needed to squeeze into one bed at the end of the night. Or team members during trips and her parents years ago when they used to go camping. But none of those instances ever felt like this. Like she could keep doing this the entire day if it meant she could stay in this moment a little longer.
So she allows herself to soak in it for a while, eventually losing track of time, until Regina decides to actually wake up and a groan escapes her before she even finishes opening her eyes.
"God, my head hurts"
Emma stops her ministrations to stifle a laugh.
"Yeah, that usually happens when you're hungover" she murmurs.
And Regina groans louder now, dragging her hand up Emma's stomach, unintentionally lifting her pajama top just so, before her hand lands over her own face to cover the stubborn sun light.
"I think I'll die" she mumbles miserably.
"No, you won't" Emma snorts "I'll go get you an aspirin"
The moment she tries to untangle herself from Regina to go look in the medicine cabinet, Regina's arms tighten around her middle with what Emma thinks is the last bit of strength she has in her body.
"Don't you dare leave me" she mutters.
Emma freezes, mostly because she has no other option since Regina's still keeping her in place.
"You're warm" she offers weakly, voice muffled against Emma's chest.
Her eyes go back to the ceiling as she considers her next move. But when Regina settles more comfortably against her the choice is pretty clear. So against every logical thought in her brain she allows herself to sink further into the bed and sighs softly.
"Five more minutes"
She hears Regina let out a pleased hum as she busies her fingers combing them through her hair, and she allows her thoughts to wander for a bit, focused on nothing in particular. Then, after what she's sure are not at all just five minutes, Regina is the one to abandon their embrace to look down at her with the best attempt at a glare she can muster.
"This is your fault" she states.
Emma can only blink up at her "What?"
Regina narrows her eyes, clearly not on the same uncharacteristically affectionate mood from just moments ago. Emma assumes she's trying to look deadly serious, but her messy hair and sleepy eyes don't totally sell it.
"I went to that party because you invited me" she reminds her, as if she's convinced Emma's just being slow.
Emma's lips twitch, not only at the comment itself -which is a confirmation of what she thought anyway- but at their current situation. Because one second Regina was barely giving her space to breathe and now she's looking at her like she personally forced her to down twenty shots of vodka at the party.
"Oh?" she prompts innocently "I thought Mal forced you to go?"
Regina stills entirely too fast. Then it seems like she might say something but the words die in her tongue and she frowns even harder. Emma's smile grows with every second of Regina's silence, so she decides to tease further.
"You really went because of me?" she asks, knowing she has the most infuriatingly smug look on her face "I didn't know you like me so much"
The look Regina throws her way would be scary under any other circumstances, but right now Emma finds it unfairly cute. And yes, she's enjoying this a little too much, because she woke up expecting a bigger fight to break, she expected Regina to want nothing to do with her. So maybe she's pushing her luck, but she'll happily take the risk.
"I liked you better ten minutes ago" is what Regina finally says.
But the words lose all their impact when she attempts to get up properly, and that goes espectacularly wrong when she gets up too fast, her legs giving way before she can even fully stand upright, collapsing right back into the bed.
Emma's smile promptly dissapears.
"Woah-"
She's beside her in no time, wrapping one arm around her middle while the other lands on her arm.
"Easy, princess" she says "Is this really your first hangover?"
Regina squeezes her eyes shut for a while and leans into her without a word. Emma can feel her stomach rise and fall with every deep breath she takes as the dizziness subsides, although neither of them acknowledges Emma's hold on her waist. Then, after a minute Regina finally comes back to herself.
"Emma?"
"I'm here"
Regina exhales another deep breath before turning her head just slightly to her.
"If you call me that again" she mutters, voice rough from sleep "I will throw up on your bed and never let you kiss me again. Are we clear?"
Emma swallows hard. First of all, she didn't think the nickname would warrant an actual threat, but she should've known Regina of all people wouldn't like it. And second, her mind catches on the specific part of the threat where kisses were mentioned, because she already had assumed that wouldn't happen again, not after she made Regina cry. Not after being so stupid.
But Regina's blissfully unaware of what's going on in her head. She just falls deeper into Emma with another pained sound, and for the first time, Emma thinks she might actually be a complete asshole.
Because Regina's still trying to bury herself under her skin, and everything around them feels softer bathed in the sunlight coming from outside. Because even with a nasty hangover, after their failed attempts at talking, after crying and saying everything she said in that cramped bathroom, Regina still ended up here. With her.
"So" Emma clears her throat faintly, like that will get rid of her thoughts "Will you let me go get you some water?"
Regina's expression changes into mild annoyance before untangling herself from Emma's hold, unceremoniously dropping onto the pillow before going back beneath the blankets.
Emma leaves the room after that, making her way downstairs to the kitchen. She finds a sticky note on the fridge from her mom, the one she usually leaves before she goes to work. The same note that started a bit of an argument, when Emma was in a mood one day and told her she could just text her, which caused her mother to almost cry and Emma to vow to never mention that again for the sake of her own peace.
She goes back upstairs only to find Regina sitting up against the headboard now, phone held loosely in her hand as she stares silently at the screen. Emma's presence goes unnoticed at first.
"I didn't take too long, did I?" she says, slowly making her way past the doorway.
Regina's eyes lift to her very much immediately at the sound of her voice, but she doesn't say anything and just shakes her head with a reluctant smile as Emma approaches the bed. The question was barely something to fill the silence, because Emma knows she took approximately three minutes down stairs. That's exactly why finding Regina so quiet, such a clear contrast in practically no time, makes her almost scared to ask.
"You okay?"
Regina puts the glass down after taking no more than a sip. Emma can practically see the gears in her brain working overtime, probably considering if she should avoid the question all together or just lie.
In the end, she replies with her own question.
"Do you really think my mother doesn't care about me?"
It catches Emma so off guard, she just sits there trying to figure out if this is going to open the door for another argument like the last one.
"Look, I-"
"No" Regina shakes her head once again "I want the truth"
She wants to refuse, to deflect and talk about anything but Cora Mills. But Regina has such a dejected look in her eyes she can't find it in herself to say no to her. That's what ultimately leads her to give her what she asked for.
"I don't know your mom that well" she starts carefully "But I know you, and you're very easy to care for, so... I don't think she cares enough"
Regina drops her eyes back down to her phone. The look isn't gone and Emma fears she said the wrong thing again.
"Where did this come from?" she asks, and Regina replies with a hollow laugh.
"I was checking on my phone after you left" she confesses quietly, almost like she's embarrassed by it "I thought maybe she would've called, or texted asking where I was"
Emma reaches for her hand, because words are simply not coming. It's like she forgot how to form a sentence, so she settles on squeezing Regina's hand in support. Regina looks up at that, eyes narrowing just slightly.
"Don't look at me like that" she orders.
"Like what?"
"Like a wounded animal" she breathes, then pretends her eyes aren't glassy and puts on her best no nonsense voice "I'm fine"
This, Emma doesn't believe for a second, but there isn't really much room to argue. She's also starting to feel hungry, and she's sure there's a spare toothbrush somewhere in her bathroom.
"I think we should shower before eating" she scrunches up her nose in mock disgust "You can go first"
Regina doesn't even dignify that with a direct response. Still, Emma's happy that the teasing doesn't seem to bother her.
"What are you making for us?" she shoots back "Cereal?"
"Pancakes" Emma corrects, deeply offended.
When Regina just laughs at the comment, a real laugh albeit soft, she counts that as a win. A much bigger win, she thinks, is that she can stand up without almost fainting before making her way to the bathroom.
---
When Emma's turn comes, Regina's left alone with her thoughts long enough to spiral. Now, she definitely feels like a person again and the headache is not as horrible as it was when she first woke up. But her mind keeps throwing bits and pieces of the previous night her way, and even though she was capable of ignoring them in the shower, she has no such luck now that she's alone in bed with nothing to do but think. And once she allows her mind to torture her with the first flash of the party, it becomes determined to give her everything back.
Emma laying on her lap at the edge of the pool, leaving before she could give her a reply to her question, and finding her in the bathroom a couple hours later. Emma looking at her like she lost her mind when she mentioned sex, refusing to leave after she asked her to. Her crying on Emma's shoulder before Emma kissed her so gently and asked her to come with her. Emma apologizing a thousand times throughout the night, even after she told her not to.
Every memory comes to her, and they all go back to Emma.
Regina vows right that minute to never drink again, because she refuses to humiliate herself like that once more. She came to terms with the fact this thing between them doesn't mean anything, and she was doing a great job at burying any confusing feelings Emma may have brought up, until the first drop of alcohol entered her system and she completely forgot she had dignity.
So she's never drinking again if this will be the aftermath. Because not only does she still have a pounding headache, but she threw up twice in front of someone and is also plagued by questions, and feelings she promised herself to never entertain. She didn't care about what Emma wanted from her before, because she had a pretty good idea what that was from the start. It didn't cross her mind to feel used, because Emma can't use her in the traditional sense of the word if she's allowing it. Emma Swan doesn't have any kind of power over her when she can put a stop to this anytime if she wishes. She simply does not.
This doesn't go further than her being completely intoxicated... Or at least that's what she tells herself when the bathroom door opens.
"Hey, I know I offered pancakes, but I can also make waffles if you want"
Regina doesn't give her a response, she's still too caught up on berating herself and trying to make sense of why on earth would her drunk self accept to stay the night with Emma, if she was so upset because of her.
Of course, Emma luckily still can't read her mind. She just sees her frowning.
"You're upset"
Once again, Regina doesn't respond. But this time the thing keeping her quiet is the image in front of her, when her eyes land on Emma. Emma wearing nothing but a sports bra and sweatpants. So she stares, pretty intensely at that. And Emma flushes after noticing, making a beeline for her closet.
"I forgot my shirt" she offers, rummaging through her clothes "If this is about last night, can we talk after breakfast?"
This is the moment Regina decides to lie through her teeth, at least try to keep some of her dignity.
"What about last night?"
She can tell, almost immediately, that Emma knows she's lying. Not only that, but Emma knows Regina knows she knows she's lying. Still, she will go through with this. Even if Emma's looking at her like a lie detector just went off in her head when she takes a seat at the edge of the bed.
"You don't remember anything?" Emma asks.
"I remember some" she lies "I must've been very drunk"
She shrugs it off, like that's a good enough excuse -which sounded more convincing in her mind- and Emma's visibly holding back a smile when her fingers come up to play with the ends of her hair.
Regina wonders suddenly where this apparent need Emma has to touch her all the time came from. It's not like this will get rid of her hangover, all it does is keep her painfully aware of just how close she is to a still very shirtless Emma, who keeps holding her shirt instead of putting it on like a normal person would've done by now.
Her mind goes back to the party, when Emma's lips brushed against the skin of her thigh on accident. It goes back to the last time they kissed, to every touch that was too soft, too tender, and stole the air from her lungs. And when Emma's fingers brush the skin at the base of her neck, Regina's eyes fall back on her torso for a terrifying second, before she blushes a deep shade of red.
"What are you thinking about?" Emma prompts coyly.
She blinks "Nothing"
"It's definitely something" Emma continues, twirling Regina's hair on her finger "You get this look"
She grabs a hold of Emma's wrist before her touch can move any higher, successfully aggravated.
"I do not"
Emma just smiles, clearly having way too much fun bothering her. And she moves to put her shirt on -finally- as her phone vibrates on the bed. She seems to think about something for merely a beat before she looks back up at Regina.
"How do you feel about going to the lake?" she asks.
Regina doesn't answer immediately. Mainly because the change in topic is very abrupt and, in all honesty, she didn't think they would be going out today. Emma takes that as her cue to explain.
"My friends are spending the day there and I was thinking you could come with me" she says, but it sounds more like a question.
"You want me to go with you?"
Emma shrugs a little awkwardly "Or we could stay here if you want"
"Stay here and do what?"
The question comes out before she can put a stop to it. Emma shrugs, yet again. But then her eyes linger on Regina a little too long, the air becoming more than a little too charged for her liking. And Regina feels her lean in imperceptibly, voice lower when she speaks.
"I'm sure we can find something to do"
Regina doesn't know if the fact Emma's expression is serious rather than her usual teasing smirk is better or worse for her. All she knows is the words push her to take a shaky breath she hopes goes unnoticed. Something tells her this is not just their regular banter, and they're dancing around the edge of something entirely different here.
When that started happening, she has no clue. And when it started having this effect on her is an even bigger question.
"I'll go with you" she rushes out eventually.
Emma, now out of her trance, completely lights up.
"It'll be fun" she grins, already standing up to make her way towards the door "I'll go make breakfast, we'll look through my bathing suits after"
And that's Regina's second sign that this will definitely be a long day. The first sign being the warmth that has been stubbornly spreading all over her skin since the moment Emma got out of that bathroom.