Chapter Text
The first thing Naruto saw when he woke up was a text from an unknown number:
I can’t stop thinking about your hand on my ass
Sasuke, obviously. How he had gotten his number was beyond him. But that was the least of his worries.
Naruto knew he had made a mistake going up to him at the bar. He liked to have thought that he wouldn’t have done it if he had been sober, but he knew that wasn’t true. He just hadn’t been able to get him out of his head since they’d met at the house show that weekend. When he saw him at the bar, it just overtook him. He had had to talk to him. Sasuke had been so alluring. His dry, yet flirtatious sarcasm should not have been as sensual as it was, but once they started he was hooked. Then when he put his hand on his knee, Naruto simply couldn’t resist it anymore.
The thing was, he knew he was gay. He'd known for a long time. He just couldn't figure out how to tell anyone. Sure, he was living in a fairly progressive college town, but the social implications were something else. Sure, he doubted many of his brothers were outwardly homophobic, but they were still in a frat.There was no way any of them would want to live with someone else. Even if they did let him stay in the house, he would always just be known as “the gay one.” That was something he was simply not willing to risk, not with how hard he had worked for it.
The frat was the first sense of community he had had maybe ever. He didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, let alone people who tolerated him. A combination of bouncing around foster homes and unmedicated ADHD left him a behavioral disaster. He hadn’t exactly had a stable parental figure to teach him how to act. He had built a reputation around town as the resident delinquent. He seemed to wreak havoc everywhere he went. He was loud, and his attempts to be funny came off as obnoxious and often pathetic. The cost of property damage at his hands very well could have been enough to buy a house (still, he believed the Sheriff's car looked much less boring thanks to his artistic additions).
At some point after he was adopted by Jiraya at the beginning of high school, something clicked. He had been so starved for attention he didn’t care if it was good or bad. Eventually he realized that pissing people off was not the best way to get people to like you. The key was to do exactly what they wanted. If he just followed the rules and what everyone expected, nobody would have anything to use against him. He smiled at everyone, offered to help out wherever he could, and dedicated everything he had to athletics. When he managed to make Varsity Football senior year, everything changed. He’d walk the hallways and people would wave to him; the guys would dab him up, girls would smile nervously and whisper to their friends. Even the teachers began giving him more slack, not grading him as harshly and being more lenient when he would talk in class or show up late.
This was in part due to his understanding of two fundamental truths:
Rule #1 of being liked in a small town: don’t be gay.
Rule #2: If you are, don’t tell anybody.
It hadn’t been a big deal back then, he’d gone on a few dates with girls to see if he could force it and keep up his image. There were no guys in his school he was really interested in anyways. When he moved away for college, he thought maybe he would gain the courage to come out. However, when he met Shikimaru and Choji during welcome week and they convinced him to pledge, he knew that wasn't an option.
Another obvious rule: being gay in a frat do not mix
Being in a frat came with everything he'd ever wanted. It guaranteed him a group of friends for the next four years. It was also basically the only way he could get into parties his freshman year, so it seemed like the right choice. He could wait it out until graduation to come clean about it to everyone. He just couldn't do it now.
This made the situation with Sasuke all the more nerve-wracking. He had made it two years without letting his little secret slip. Anyone finding out just wasn't worth it. It would be easier to tolerate if he was a little less into him. But that was just his luck. Sasuke was maybe the most intriguing person he’d ever met–in a strange, yet familiar way. Talking at the bar, it was as if they were already halfway into their conversation when it started, like they were old friends meeting again for the first time in years. Then in the bathroom– he cursed the man who had interrupted them, yet a small piece of him was grateful. If he had actually gone any further with Sasuke, he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to restrain himself. Almost getting caught had reminded him how much he had on the line. It had taken him so long to gain the security of the community that he had always wanted. He wasn't willing to sacrifice all that just because he couldn't manage to get it up for a girl.
Now, he just needed to push it out of his mind. He didn’t need to go to any more house shows with Sakura, she had Temari anyways. He could sacrifice 99 cent wings and happy hour for the lack of temptation. He figured it wouldn’t take much longer for Sakura to move on to her next boy of the week, especially considering she was obviously not his type.
He glanced at his phone once more. The only thing that excited him more than the memory of Sasuke's hand on his pants was the thought of him going down a little further. At the very least, he could hold out until graduation with Sasuke as a fantasy in his mind. He had gotten close enough to perhaps sustain him until he was sure it was the right time.
—
Amidst the chaos of midterms, Naruto was able to make it through the next couple weeks mostly ignoring the looming presence of Sasuke. He had deleted Sasuke’s number from his phone and simply pretended the interaction at the bar had been a fever dream. Sakura had run out of ammunition to fuel her obsession, as Taka had cancelled the show they were supposed to play that Saturday the night before for seemingly no reason. Naruto was relieved, of course. This meant he didn’t have to come up with some bullshit excuse for Sakura as to why he’d be skipping out. She had been rather torn up about it.
“Ugh!” She’d cried. “He’s the love of my life and something always gets in the way of us seeing each other.” She was draped over the coach in the house basement with her usual melodramatic flare.
“Damn. Maybe you’ll see him around campus sometime.” Naruto was pretending to be overly focused on playing GTA on the house Xbox so he didn’t have to invest too much into this conversation.
“No,” she sighed. “What I really want is to see him play. You don’t get it, Naruto. He really is great.”
“I didn’t even know you liked that kind of music,” he said, still not looking up from the TV. “Your top artists are Taylor Swift and Sombr.”
“Okay so?” She threw a pillow at him, knocking the controller out of his hands. He yelped as he watched as his car crashed from a cliff into an overpass, the subsequent explosion echoing through the speakers. “That doesn't mean I can't like other stuff too. I have a very diverse music taste.” She glared at him. “You're one to talk, anyways. You’ve been playing EsDeeKid all week.”
“Jeez, okay.” He put his hand up. “I’m not trying to be an elitist or anything, I’m just saying that you might not be quite his type, Swiftie and all.”
“Then what is his type, smart ass?” The intimidating look of violence was still in her eye.
Naruto cringed at the idea of him giving a genuine answer to her question. He shrugged, turning off the TV. “I don’t know, probably emo girls like him. Maybe you should dye your hair black.”
“Not a chance. There are a lot of things that I would do for a man,” said. “But sacrificing my beautiful hair is not one of them.” She combed her fingers through it, accentuating the flowy pink waves. “Speaking of which, I need to touch up my roots. You wanna help me upstairs?”
“Yeah, sure,” he said. It was an ideal spot compared to Sakura’s apartment, the frat bathroom had seen a lot more destruction than pink dye stains (especially since Kiba had put a not quite unlit cigarette out in the trashcan. That had been an ordeal). He stood up to follow her upstairs, praying Sasuke would remain left behind from the conversation.
—
The next weekend, he was not so lucky. Taka had scheduled another show for that Friday. Whatever issue that had stopped them from playing the past weekend was seemingly resolved. This time, Sakura was insistent on him going.
“Give me one legitimate reason why you have to stay home tonight.” They were once again in the frat house, this time in a significantly better smelling living room upstairs.
“I told you we have Education. I need to be there.”
“Bullshit,” she said. “You haven’t gone to one of those damn meetings all semester. Now you suddenly want to go?”
She was right. He’d never been too enthusiastic about the hazing part of the whole frat thing. Kiba was the pledge master this semester, so he knew it was going to be extra brutal. Not like they ever got too serious with the tasks anyways. They ranged from moderately uncomfortable to significantly embarrassing, but never too humiliating or dangerous. He still cringed at the memory of the entire bottle of Tabasco sauce he had been forced to drink his Freshman year in between a hundred sets of laps up and down the stairs.
“You have no excuse. You have nothing going on and you liked it enough last time.” She eyed him questioningly. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
He froze. “No, what do you mean? I'm just not in the mood to go out, alright?”
Sakura raised an eyebrow. “What, is there a girl there or something? You’re acting weird about this for real.”
Naruto silently admitted defeat. He had no other choice.
“Ok whatever. I’ll go.” He huffed. “And I have no idea what you’re talking about. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a night in for once.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, Naruto. Of course there is.” She clapped him on the back and grinned. “I’m going to go get changed. Let’s meet at mine at six to pregame.”
He rolled his eyes unenthusiastically. “You’re buying the alc.”
She slung her purse over her shoulder and she prepared to leave. “Only if you’re nice.” She winked and headed out the door.
Naruto spent the remainder of the afternoon pacing around his bedroom. He was grateful that Shikamaru was out on an “excursion” with the pledges. He couldn’t even begin to explain this situation to anyone without compromising his position. As much as he was fighting to repress the attraction, he was obsessing over what would happen when they saw each other. If they even did at all. He threw his T-shirts all over his room, while trying to find something that would be cool enough. He settled on a grey checkered flannel he had found in the back of his closet along with some baggy jeans and a Led Zeppelin shirt. Yeah. He looked cool. Better than last time, this was less of something he would just wear to lecture.
By the time Naruto finally collected himself together it was nearly 6:15. Fuck, he thought. Sakura was going to kill him. To his pleasant surprise, when he arrived at her and Ino’s apartment she was only mildly irritated.
“Taka plays second,” she explained while finishing her mascara.
Temari was already there. She looked like she’d fit into the crowd perfectly, with her fishnets, studded belt, and cargo pants. Sakura seemed to have borrowed from her wardrobe, evident from the leather pants she had paired with a tiny black top. He hated to say it but she actually looked really good in that outfit.
“The main girl, she’s great,” Temari said as she set a row of shots on Sakura’s makeup table.
“Oh, yeah. For sure,” Sakura said. “What’s her name?”
“Karin. She’s a Junior too. Pretty crazy she can
“Oh, Karin?” Ino spoke up. She was not coming, firm against any prodding from Sakura. Live music was decidedly not her thing. She was going out to bars with her sorority later that night, anyway. “The redhead? I had chem lab with her last semester. She’s funny. Kind of mean, though.”
Sakura gave a snide laugh. “And you aren’t?”
”I’m a bitch. She’s just mean,” she said matter of fact. “But not really, we got along alright. She was always talking about her band. They sounded like a load of degenerates.”
Sakura scoffed. “Don’t be so judgemental, Ino. They’re musicians, what do you expect? I’m sure they’re less of alcoholics than half of your sorority sisters.”
“I don’t mean that as an insult, I heard they just like to party. Especially the guitarist.” She smiled antagonizingly to Sakura. “Hey, isn’t he the guy you won’t shut up about?”
Sakura blushed, clearly not in the mood to be teased for her crush. “I’m not obsessed. I just think he’s talented…and attractive” she added.
”No, she’s right, Sakura,” Temari piped up. “Sasuke has a bit of a reputation around campus. I wasn’t going to mention it. But there was a bit of an incident after a show a bit before the first one I took you to, Sakura” Her voice hushed, turning serious. Naruto was trying to act as nonchalant as he eagerly tuned in.
“It sounded like he spilled beer on some guy or something and made him really mad. He must of said something because right when I turned around Sasuke was swinging at him. The bass player had to go ahead and break them up.”
”Was it bad?” Sakura asked, wide eyed.
Temari shrugged. “Didn’t seem too bad. At least no one got hurt, the guy got a blood nose though. Probably not broken.”
“Wait,” Naruto asked. “Did they call the cops? Shikamaru’s had to do that like a dozen times and they almost always bring the guys in or at least write them up.”
”I don’t think so,” Temari said. “That crowd isn’t too big on having a police presence. I think the owner of the house just kicked him out and told him to go home and sober up. He draws enough people that venues will always invite them back either way.”
Naruto kept his lips shut, remaining a silent observer in the conversation. Sasuke did give off the vibe of being a bit of a heavy drinker, but he had seemed fine the night they saw each other at the bar. Naruto had probably been more drunk than him. But he did recall how effortlessly he has slipped down that vodka tonic.
Temari continued. “It’s not like he’s done anything catastrophic, he just gives off a bit of an unstable vibe. He’s nice enough, sort of awkward though.”
Sakura seemed to ponder this for a moment. “I don’t think that means much. It’s not like any of us lead an exactly sober lifestyle. The guy probably said something really bad. You never know what’s going on in his personal life, anyways.”
”Yeah it’s nothing against him,” Temari said. “Just something to keep in mind before getting entangled with him. Reasons or not, there’s baggage there.”
“You aren’t wrong about him being hot though, Sakura,” Ino added. “You can get away with a bit of degeneracy with a face like that. And body.” She blushed, clearly imagining all sorts of things Naruto would never be able to say out loud .
Naruto was really struggling to repress the rising rush of blood to his face… amongst other areas. He knew he was sitting on some crucial information to this discussion, not like he would ever divulge it of course. He felt sort of bad for Sasuke, everyone talking behind his back like this. The girls probably had nicer words than most others. From what he had gathered during their conversation at the bar, Sasuke did have a level of rationale for his drinking. Naruto didn’t blame him at all, with what he had gone through no wonder he was using such coping mechanisms. But it wasn’t as if he could stand up for him in this room. Or any others. He just had to continue acting like he had no clue about any of this going on.
They had to take a bus to get there, but it was a bit chilly, so Naruto didn’t mind. Sakura only brought up Sasuke a few times, she was trying to seem chill around Temari. By the time they got there, the music was at full blast.
“Ah, shit,” Sakura said. “They’ve already started. Let’s hurry.” She motioned towards Naruto to follow the two of them as they headed through the front doorway and paid the cover. It was a different place than before, a little less grimy with more of a polished feel. To his ultimate disappointment there was no free beer, either.
As soon as they got downstairs, Naruto spotted Sasuke right away. His head was bowed down over his guitar while he played, his silky black hair covering his face so his eyes were shrouded. There was a girl with red hair singing while he plucked at the strings. He couldn’t hear clearly enough to make out what she was saying, but she had a roughness to her voice that gave the sound a deeper dimension. The drums and bassline vibrated through his bones like his heart was a speaker pumping the music into his bloodstream. It was seeped in melancholy–an almost mournful tune. But the crowd seemed to be energized from the song all the same, jumping around in the mosh pit like they did last time. Naruto was lost in the entrancing melody exuding from Sasuke’s guitar when he was hit by a sudden pain in his arm. It was Sakura, smiling wildly with a devilish grin. She nudged him towards the center, before they both erupted into the same playful collisions as those around them. Naruto had never actually been in a pit like this before, but it didn’t necessarily feel foreign. He typically hated most forms of violence, but this seemed like the natural reaction to the song being played. The crowd surged like one mass to every trash of the big guys sticks, the other blond dude keeping a steady rhythm. The combined melody of the red haired girl and Sasuke’s guitar served as a ribbon to tie them all together, flowing in and out in between bodies as they smashed against each other so brazenly.
As the music faded out and the room began to clap, Naruto’s euphoria shifted into a sinking pit of anxiety. He tried to avoid eye contact with Sasuke as he was packing up his equipment. As Sakura grabbed his hand to signal they were going upstairs, there was an instant where Sasuke glanced at him. No look of resentment, but a clear acknowledgement of his presence.
Outside, Naruto attempted to socialize normally despite the impending doom of an eventual interaction with Sasuke. He wrung his fingers around the Busch lite in his hands while Temari spoke with a girl who she seemed to already know. He tried not to be too obvious with his obsessive scans around the yard to see where Sasuke was.
“Naruto. Do not let me make a fool of myself like last time,” Sakura told him.
He glanced at the energy drink in her hands. “Is there any liquor in that?”
“No,” she said, hushed. “I’m dead sober.”
He raised an eyebrow, recalling at least two shots of Tequila they had taken before heading out the door.
“Okay, fine. I’m not drunk.” She took a sip. “Not like last time, at least. I have to make a better impression on Sasuke.”
Part of him felt bad for how clueless Sakura was. Aside from the fact that he had already had an intimate run in with the self proclaimed “love-of-her-life,” knowing that she had no chance regardless was a heavy secret to bear. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” he assured her. “He doesn’t seem like the judgemental type.”
Sakura sighed. “Oh he completely does. But it's fine, I just acted stupid last time. I was too nervous."
“Wait, how does Temari even know him?” Naruto hadn’t thought to imagine they had mutual friends. The possibility of other connections outside of her was unnerving. Just a few words and Sasuke had the power to destroy his complete social station.
“I mean, they hang out in a lot of the same circles,” she explained, “It sounds like they just run into each other at parties mostly.”
He considered if Sasuke had ever had a chance to speak with Temari about him. If she didn’t realize Sakura had been obsessing over Sasuke the whole time, maybe he had inadvertently told her about the weird frat guy who freaked out after making out in the bar bathroom. “How much does she know about your whole thing with him?” He asked.
“She knows I liked his music and think he’s cute,” she told him. “But you know Temari isn't exactly the one to talk to about things like that. She hates the drama of it all. I didn’t even know she started dating Shikamaru until they had been together for a week."
As if on cue, Naruto heard Temari’s voice speak up behind them:
“Oh hey, Sasuke.”
He flinched, bracing for the familiar face that greeted him when he turned around. Sasuke glanced at Naruto again quickly without interrupting his conversations with Temari. He couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy, approaching one of his friends that he barely knew while he was right next to her. All without even giving him a second glance. Then again, Naruto was the one who had ghosted Sasuke. There was a slight pang of guilt, he simply hadn’t known what to do with all of those emotions.
Sasuke still stood there somewhat awkwardly, hands in his pockets, talking to Temari. Him largely ignoring Naruto and Sakura’s clear anticipation for her own conversation gave the air an uncomfortable weight that he hoped neither of the girls could pick up on. After a few moments, Sakura’s wide smile and hands behind her back seemed to indicate clearly enough to Sasuke that he should talk to her.
“Oh hi. Um, Sakura was it?” He still seemed out of place, giving another quick glance to Naruto. It had a tinge of apprehension, like he was waiting for the right moment to acknowledge his presence.
Sakura nodded, grinning now even more. “Yeah, that's it. You sounded great as always, it was a lot of fun.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” he said, a dry politeness to his voice. “Thanks for coming.” She opened her mouth to continue the discussion before Sasuke completely averted his gaze to Naruto. He hoped he was the only one who could notice how much his expression changed. “Naruto.
Naruto hoped he could pass off the flushing of his face on the alcohol. “Oh, hey. Sasuke.” Their eyes were still locked, and Naruto’s heart was beating far too fast. “How’ve you been?”
He responded after a moment of an analytical gaze. “Alright.”
Naruto pondered his next move before speaking what felt the most natural. “It was nice to finally hear you play. It was cool, it was like your guitar was a third arm or something.” He gave a stilted grin. “Like it was an extension of your body, I don’t know. I never knew fingers could move like that.” He mentally hit himself for saying so much. If he was trying to hide that he had any sense of attraction for Sasuke, talking him up like that in front of his friends was definitely the worst approach.
Sasuke smiled, this time more genuinely. “Thank you. It was a good time. I appreciate the energy you brought.”
Naruto blushed again. He hadn't thought Sasuke had been watching him in the pit, he figured his eyes would be glued to his guitar the whole time.
Temari nudged Sakura. “Hey, I’m gonna run to the bathroom. You wanna come with?” Sakura nodded and put a quick hand on Naruto’s shoulder, seemingly giving up on gaining Sasuke’s attention in that moment. “I’ll be right back."
Naruto watched as they both headed inside. He turned to Sasuke, a moment of hesitation before making eye contact again. They stared at each other for a second of hesitation, both clearly gathering the words to say to each other now that they were alone.
Instinctively, Naruto brushed a hand behind Sasuke’s back. What he did not expect was for him to flinch so strongly in response, as if his touch physically pained him. It was quick, but nonetheless evident. Naruto took a step back, remembering when he had rejected Sasuke’s hand in the bathroom. He felt a sense of remorse. He didn’t deserve to be roped into such an awkward situation, he deserved someone who could hold his hand in public without being ashamed.
“I’m sorry for freaking out at the bar. And for not texting you back.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
“Oh, it's fine.” He didn’t seem too affected. “I was drunk when I sent it. I know it was a bit too much.”
“Oh, no,” he interjected. “It’s not that. I was…”He looked to the ground in an attempt to hide the flush in his cheeks. “It was nice.” He looked up at Sasuke. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot too.” He took a step closer, not too much to be obvious, yet enough to establish a sense of intimacy. “And the way it felt when you touched me.”
Sasuke gave that same knowing grin that Naruto was infatuated with. He leaned in just a touch closer and whispered in Naruto’s ear. “When can I see you again?”
His words sent shivers down his spine. “Soon.” In a surge of boldness, Naruto pulled Sasuke around the corner of the house. He grabbed him by the collar of the shirt and pulled their lips together; quick, soft, the taste of liquor on both their breaths. Not long enough for anyone to notice, but he hoped enough to express a level of remorse. It was a stupid move, Sakura could have come barging out of the house at any minute. Literally anyone else outside could have seen. But for some strange reason, those things didn’t occur to him at that moment. At least not before the thought, ‘I have to kiss him now.’
When they bounced back, it was Sasuke who was blushing now, clearly taken off guard. He smiled and brushed quick hand against Naruto’s fingers before putting it back in his pocket. His gaze was stripped of its usual hardness. “I’ll text you tomorrow. Will you message me back?”
Naruto grinned. “I’ll think about it.” Their eyes stayed locked together for another moment, neither willing to be the first to pull away. The door opened, and Naruto turned his head as the crowd began pouring out. The rhythmic vibration of the bass and drums was no longer echoing from the ground, it seemed as if they were done playing. Sakura would probably be coming back outside with Temari any second. Naruto prepared to go join her, not eager to explain why he had spent the entire set talking with Sasuke. He waved. “I’m gonna head back inside. But I’ll see you later. For real.”
He took a last glance at Sasuke, whose expression was something he had not yet seen before on him. His usual snide gaze was replaced with a genuine smile. Dare he say, sweet in a way? He seemed happy. Naruto returned the favor before leaving, already drafting all the things he wanted to send to him in his head.