Chapter Text
—Drowning
Touya gets home, Inko keeps quiet and Izuku wallows in his own pitiful thoughts.
It's been a long day for Touya, he just wants to flop around his bed and fall asleep. He's seen Izuku! Shouldn't he be happy?
Why did he feel so guilty?, why did he have to come back just to disappear all over again.
He knows deep down Izuku wasn't ready. Izuku wasn't ready to see him. Not when he can't heal his own scars.
Not until those dark circles lessen, not until he learns to take care of himself properly.
Not when he's like that.
No.
It all feels strange to him, like a stray of emotions that constantly bug him. He feels numb.
He feels like he's drowning in questions he wishes he didn't have to answer, he just wants to stare at the ceiling till he falls asleep.
But he knows he won't.
“—Dabi!, what the fuck?! Are you even listening?" He swore Boss was getting better at the word ‘patience’, he'll punch it the hell out of him for sure.
He knows they're worried and concerned and shit like that, but could they leave him alone?
“Shut up" he covers his ears as Boss rants and Kurogiri gives a sigh as Himiko rubs her eyes and falls asleep snoring against Twice who was sitting against the wall zoning off.
Spinner was in his battle stance ready to pounce as he was awoken by Himiko’s snoring.
He'll find that funny if Boss here shuts his mouth.
“—blah blah blah!–!!" That's all he hears.
He'll never listen to words that won't matter at the end of the day. They'll end up forgotten just like he is.
He closes his eyes, he's back to where he usually is. Engulfed in underwater as the world continues to fade from view.
He's back to his 13 year old self again, when he escaped from that cursed orphanage. It was when he was at a loss on what to do in his life.
All he knew is that no one was gonna except a creepy looking guy who has staples for stitches.
He feels helpless.
Because in water his quirk is useless, he'll continue to fall down slowly as tears mix with the speckles of water.
Maybe he really isn't drowning? Maybe he's just stuck on replay unable to move forward.
He doesn't know what's actually stopping him.
“Touya" he loves that voice. Soft spoken and kind.
For a second and then for another minute he isn't drowning, he isn't underwater. He's on the surface.
A blank canvas as the rain continues, the pitter patter on the pavement.
The background clears as it shows Sekoto peak, then back to where he started.
His father's house.
He didn't like it there, Endeavor didn't want him to use his quirk because it hurt him. He knew that, he just wanted to prove him wrong even if the old man knew better.
It plays to when Mom used to talk him to sleep as he hugged her and cried.
He loved his Mom, he wanted to protect her from everything in this world. He wanted to erase Endeavor.
"Oh Touya, you're the bravest boy I know. You can achieve so many great things in life and I know it”
Sometimes he wished his Mom was lying, he wished that it wasn't so bitter to know she wasn't.
It was all sincere, it all came from the pain they harbored throughout life.
Then it was when Natsuo was born. It blurred to an even greater pain as Shouto was born.
Even at the age of 3 the youngest was treated like a treasure, a family heirloom.
Touya envied Shouto so badly, he wished it were him. He wishes Endeavor loved him like that.
His frown deepens as it shows another painful memory that was his life.
It was the day he said goodbye to Izuku.
"I can't lose you, not when I know you deserve more”
If only those words didn't hurt that much as it used to now, if only he came back earlier.
If only he wasn't such an idiot to lose control of his quirk. If only he wasn't so weak.
He was drowning again.
This time the water was shallow. He swam his way back up.
He coughed and he choked on the currents that would push him farther away from land.
But he pushed, he used all the strength he had to push against the currents. He pushed and pushed till he ended up on the shore.
The rocks underneath him didn't care that they were broken once more.
He looked up at the sky, it changed into Izuku’s crying face filled with tears as he held Touya close.
He held Touya as his breathing became easier.
Because loving Izuku was easier than breathing.
Loving him felt like oxygen.
Viridian eyes glowed like emeralds.
Emerald eyes
And then came the sincere smile of encouragement. Even if they had only been close for 8 months, he could never change that.
If only he didn't end up underwater in the first place.
Inko knew it wasn't time for Izuku to see Touya yet, the boy didn't know how to heal scars of his own.
So when the time comes, they'll both learn.
Inko knows Izuku, he knows her brave boy wouldn't handle seeing the pain Touya went through.
It gave her back to the days Tenko went missing, Izuku was 6, he kept locking himself in his own room. He wouldn't eat and he couldn't sleep properly.
Inko would find him outside in the backyard during dusk, Izuku kept looking at the clouds with those lifeless eyes.
Inko didn't know about Tenko much, Izuku never brought him over. She only knew about him when Izuku kept talking about him every time he went home.
Then one day, she found Izuku in the kitchen. He held knives and tore away at his skin. The tears would constantly flow from his eyes as he did so. Blood was on the ground, blood was on his skin. But he wasn't bleeding.
She cried with him that day, she knew he was torn apart from his thoughts.
He wanted to feel more numb but he couldn't feel pain physically only mentally.
He cut himself to try to feel the pain, but nothing happened. The wounds would close back.
Then there was a time when he was 7, she noticed he was out of his bed when midnight came.
She knew he suffered severe insomnia, but when he came back in the morning. He looked lighter.
She had asked what he was doing out in the middle of the night, the reply made her smile she could still hear the words echo on bright days.
“There's someone I met last night"
It was the most genuine smile he ever gave her.
Little by little she noticed he was more happier, his mood was a lot lighter and his eyes glistened brighter than the soulless ones she was used to seeing.
It came to day she had met Touya, she saw them in the kitchen baking something.
They looked beautiful together.
"Look at me. Look at me and I'll tell you everything is fine”
They looked at each other like how Hisashi looked at Inko back when they were in highschool.
It reminded her of how much love both her and Izuku lost.
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. The sun would fall and the moon would rise.
Touya kept coming over, when Izuku had classes in the afternoon Touya would accompany Inko.
He'd talk about his own Mom and how Inko reminded him of her.
Inko knew she couldn't interfere in the boy's life, she so badly wants to end all the pain he was feeling but she knew things are better not to be messed with.
Sometimes she'd catch Touya leaning over to Izuku shoulder, Izuku would let him sleep on his lap. They treasure the sunny days under the willow tree of their backyard.
On some other days when it rained they stayed inside telling stories, Inko would here them laugh and her heart warmed all over knowing Izuku could do it.
And Touya would help him along the way.
Touya would constantly play with Izuku’s her when they were in the living room, Izuku loved tutoring Touya about Quirks. Touya would listen quietly as Izuku continued to talk.
Inko knew for a fact Touya loved hearing Izuku’s voice. The soft whisper of chaos.
It was all too familiar for Inko, the familiarity of hurt. Knowing Hisashi used to love her like that too.
“Inkooo baby! Don't you think I look handsome?"
“As always"
If only days lasted like that, if only Hisashi was by her side again. Maybe it wouldn't hurt.
Soon, Inko’s camera roll was filled with pictures of Touya and Izuku, some when they were outside and under the willow tree.
Some where they'd continue embracing each other's presence.
But life had hated happiness.
A particular night hurt Inko deeply, when Izuku came back with soulless eyes, the night Izuku became what he had overcome.
It came to the point where he would stare at the window. To the point where he couldn't even go to his therapy sessions.
He didn't walk outside anymore. He'd continue sitting out the lawn looking towards the hole in the fence.
“Why did he have to leave Mom?, why did he have to go?" Izuku cried helplessly as he clung to Inko. His shoulders shuddered as he complained as he thought Touya deserved more.
Soon Musutafu became a place for bad memories, they'd have to bury it again.
When Izuku was 10, Inko had decided they'd move to Mizuiri, it was calmer there. And a rural life would sound nice.
And yet here they are again, Izuku’s turning 16. It's been 9 years.
They were still around the walls they built.
Izuku awoke to an alarm blaring in his room.
Memories from last night silently came back to him. Hadn't he passed out?
Th smell of breakfast being made wafted into the air as he got up and rubbed his eyes eagerly.
He put on his slippers before heading to the bathroom where he was met with his reflection.
These days he'd rather not look at his reflection since the time he had shattered it as the glass flew around the bathroom.
He moved his foot around a little, his ankle still hurt which made him limp as he walked.
He didn't mind the pain, he was use to it already.
So why even bother?
His mind wanders further into when he had tripped over that stupid log, why was it even there anyways?
“Tsk" he didn't like his patience.
It was always running out.
He brushed his teeth lazily as his eyes drooped and flinch up when he twisted the ankle the wrong way as he walked around the bathroom to get his mind off deeper things.
He got in the shower as the cold water ran down his body, the water is always cold. Winter’s coming soon as the mountains would soon cover the town in misty fog.
He wishes he didn't have classes today, as he knows it'll be another half day from the preparations that are bing made back in Aldera.
He takes his towel and dries himself steadily. He breathes out a mess of cold air and strangled warm air.
He doesn't hesitate to put on his gakuran as he heads down stairs where he sees a note on the fridge.
“Im off to work, your breakfast is on the table"
Mom.
He gives a quick smile before heading to the kitchen table where he sits down and eats his breakfast quickly as he is to catch a train to Musutafu in 20 minutes.
After eating he makes his way towards his backpack and puts on his jacket. He tries to find his scarf only to discover it wasn't in the place where he usually puts it.
Maybe mom borrowed it.
[Without looking Inko’s scarf was on the other side of the rack untouched as she only wears a coat and hat before going out.]
The doorknob was cold to the touch as he reaches for it and goes out with his usual red shoes.
He could feel the cold creeping up to him, it reminds him of the snowy days in Musutafu when he was 7..
Oh
Oh.
"Freckles you feeling cold? Come here for a sec"
He feels the old warm touch enveloping him.
Wiping away the thoughts he heads down to the forest trails where he was met with the log he had tripped on last night.
He could still feel the strain in his foot as he tries to walk normally.
He passes by farmers who are tending the field, they wave at him as he waves back.
He heads down to a set of stairs down to the center of Mizuiri, he sees the Cafe where his co-worker Shindo waves at him.
“Midoriya how's it going?” Shindo smiles as he takes out some trays before setting down the chairs.
"It's fine” he replies shyly as Shindo chuckles.
He works at Swirl n Mix, it's popular amongst the people who live in Mizuiri, there's seat warmers on cold days and the air conditioning is turned on when it's the warm or bright days the sun decides to come out.
Izuku helps him open the retractable awning before making his way down the path.
Arriving in the train station with 6 minutes to spare, he works his way through the crowd of people to the bench where he finds peace.
His gloves warm his hands as he scrolls down his phone’s gallery.
His mom had sent him some of his pictures with Touya, or just Touya mostly. He didn't have any pictures of Tenko only the one from the photo booth that he kept in his room.
He scrolls through many photos.
He sees himself smiling in many, Teal blue eyes continuosly haunt him but he keeps his emotions at bay.
He silently chuckles to one where Touya accidently burnt the basketball when he couldn't shoot it in the hoop while Izuku made it look easy.
His smile plasters on his face as he comes across one with Touya sleeping on his shoulder as Izuku reads him a story.
There was voice records that seemed to be very old as it was 9 years ago.
It welcomes to a sound of pitter patter on the pavement.
“Touya here!, Izuku how do you work this thing? Is this even on?—AHA! Wait wait that was a wrong button”
Izuku can hear himself laugh on the other side as the sound of rain continues.
“This is day one of a hundred more days of making jokes Izuku will love!!” there's a grunt before another laugh
"I haven't even made a joke yet!" There's a squeak on the other side as the sound of ruffling pillows and rain ensues.
He remembers they were in Izuku’s room waiting for the rain to pass.
“Izuku here, Touya doesn't know any real jokes only cheesy ones—hey! I..wait—stop tickling me!!” Then a set of laughs followed
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" Touya starts.
“To get to the other side" Izuku replies.
“NO! you get to say ‘what’ , I'll say that not you!—you know what forget it"
Izuku can practically remember Touya pouting as he laughs about already knowing the joke.
“Awww is baby Touya gonna cry?" Izuku teases, there's more ruffling than a loud thud.
He remembers vividly about Touya tackling him down the bed as he laughs a bit more.
The record ends as Izuku realizes his train arrived.
He tucks his phone in his pocket as he gets in.