Chapter Text
It’s been a rough night for Ryland, too afraid to sleep but too tired to stay awake. What little sleep he got was unrestful and miserable, finally giving up around two in the morning and making his way into the kitchen. Pacing around the apartment as quietly as he could, too restless to sit for a long time.
Finally around five he managed to just make some coffee and sit on the couch. Hopefully using this time to think through what he wanted to say to Tom Ryder when he sees him on a different day, hopefully not today. He didn’t think he could handle that today, if Tom Ryder said anything mean towards Colt he might snap again and then he would definitely get his twin fired.
Then his brother would hate him and spiral down the same path Ryland did and lose everything he ever worked towards. He would ruin his brother’s life over nothing, it didn’t matter that he was defending his honor or whatever, all that would matter is that his brother would be kicked out of the movie business forever.
So Ryland sat on the couch, white knuckle gripping a mug of coffee in the dark. Thinking about how the rest of yesterday he couldn’t get close enough to Tom Ryder to apologize about what he said, or do anything to make sure he didn’t fire Colt.
The memories he’s been trying to repress with the move and the new job keep rearing their ugly heads. Feelings of hopelessness and pain, fear of the future he was then thrust into. Uncertainty followed him everywhere as he was systematically removed from his life’s work and left to figure out what a disgraced microbiologist could even do, he never thought about having any other job.
Depression’s spindly hands trying to drag Ryland back to where he was just a year and a half ago. The weight of failure sitting heavy on his shoulders as he thought about his ruined life and what he might cause for Colt now that he seemed to make the Tom Ryder hate him.
Ryland lost everything in a very swift moment of rage that cost him his whole life’s work and he might have just done the same thing to Colt. The only person who has stuck with him through everything, even after he cut himself off from the world and ran away. Even after he blocked him and didn’t talk to him for the last year.
“Why are you sitting in the dark?” Colt’s voice shocked Ryland out of his spiral, making him jump and spin around to look at his brother. Ice cold coffee spilling over the edge of his mug in his panic to look at his twin.
His twin was looking at him with squinted eyes and pursed lips. It was clear he had just woken up if his messy hair and pajamas were any indication. His brother still had his arms raised from a yawn that Ryland missed in his spiral in the dark.
Ryland stared at his brother from over the couch with wide eyes, unsure of how to explain everything to Colt. He wanted to tell his brother that he might have ruined his entire career over his ego, just like he did his own. But there was still a chance he could save this and his brother would never need to know.
“Uh. Thinking?” He responded eloquently, just like those years of academia taught him to.
Colt snorted but kept looking at Ryland, making him squirm under the piercing gaze. He was clearly looking for something that he couldn’t seem to find, Ryland didn’t know what it was but he really hoped his brother would just stop looking at him.
“Don’t you do that all the time?” Colt said, finally looking away and putting his arms down. “Or is this a special kind?”
Ryland watched as his brother walked into the kitchen and hissing as he started turning lights on. Turns out sitting in the dark for hours and then being flashbanged wasn’t a great feeling. He turned back to sit normally on the couch, setting his mug down on the coffee table and rubbing harshly at his eyes.
Now that they weren’t looking at each other it was a good time to try and get out of going to set, at least for the day. That way he can figure out what he wanted to say to Tom Ryder as an apology and save his brother’s job.
“Hey Colt?” He began as casually as possible, knowing he sounded a little meek but whatever.
His brother hummed from the kitchen, the sound of pans clanking around filling the apartment. The smell of eggs and toast and uncooked bacon wafting over to Ryland, making his stomach growl. It was lucky that at least one of them could cook well enough that eating didn’t feel like a chore.
“Can I stay here in the apartment instead of going to set today?”
Colt let out a weird noise, suddenly stopping making the sounds in the kitchen before he responded.
“Didn’t I tell you yesterday when we were going home?” Colt asked bewildered, “I have the day off, we’re going out and having fun.”
Ryland must have missed it, too busy being distracted by his freak out at potentially losing his brother’s job. He was such a bad brother, too stuck in his own mind to spend time with his twin. God he was such a-
“Hey,” Colt said, once again breaking Ryland out of his spiral. Suddenly his brother was in front of him, crouched down enough to look at him. “Are you alright? You seem off, more than before.”
Ryland just nodded and looked away, trying to gather himself enough to feel a little more human. With a sigh, his twin pressed a fresh cup of coffee into his hand. He heard Colt set down a plate of food on the table in front of him and felt him sit next to him on the couch.
Taking a sip of the coffee almost made Ryland cry, it was just how he liked it. They hadn’t talked for a full year and his brother still remembered how he liked his coffee. It made him feel even worse about leaving without telling him anything.
“You better eat that,” Colt said between his own bites. “I worked hard making that damn food Ryland.”
There it was, the sassy and blunt twin brother Ryland remembered. With a roll of his eyes, Ryland grabbed the plate and leaned back into the couch. None of the food was the best he’s ever had taste wise but it was the fact his brother fed him that made up for it. Colt was really trying and Ryland was wasting it by feeling bad for himself.
“What’s the plan for today if you aren’t going to set?” Ryland asked quietly, still stuck in his mind enough to forget to raise his voice. Thoughts of his failures still haunting his mind as he tried to keep up with what was happening around him.
Looking over at his brother, Ryland catches a look on his brother’s face before it passes. He looked worried, like Ryland was acting differently or something. Which he guesses from what Colt remembers he would be, the Ryland from before UNESCO wouldn’t be so reserved. He would have been a lot more like Colt, but that was what ruined his life.
“Well, it’s mostly up to you, Ryland.” Colt said a little softly, like Ryland was a spooked animal or something. “It’s your vacation, I just have the day off. It’s supposed to be a fun day for you, I know there are a couple museums and stuff we can visit. The only thing I had super planned was getting you in the sun.”
Ryland pursed his lips, he wasn’t a child. He knew his brother was trying to be supportive but this is ridiculous. To be treated like he was some spooked animal over him overthinking in the dark of his brother's apartment. He was a grown man, just one that was a little weird.
“I’m not a child Colt, we are twins.”
Colt rolled his eyes, “Of course you’re not, I know that dipshit. My bad for being a supportive brother that wants your opinion on your vacation.”
It was clear that Colt was backtracking on his attempts at being vulnerable towards Ryland, thank god. Neither one of them were good at talking about emotions and the last thing he needed was his brother trying to act like he knew what it was like to ruin your own life. Though if Tom Ryder was mad enough maybe he would in a few days or so.
“The museums sound nice Colt,” Ryland said while rolling his eyes, taking small bites of the food. “Then we can go do whatever you want?”
He made sure to also send out his own olive branch, letting his twin know that he wasn’t really mad. Plus in the end, no matter where they went, it would be fun and a good time. After all it was his brother, his twin brother. They weren’t that different before, Ryland just changed some over the last year.
“Alright then,” Colt said while standing up, smacking his thighs and stretching. “Go get dressed and we can head out then.”
Ryland called over his shoulder as he got up and headed for his room, knowing Colt wouldn’t stop until he got dressed for their day. “Leave the dishes in the sink and I’ll clean them while you get dressed, Colt.”
It seemed like his brother ignored him while he was switching into a pair of swim trunks covered in stars as his pants and one of his many science pun shirts on. This shirt had a picture of an atom in the center with the words ‘Never Trust an Atom, They Make Up Everything’ circling it, not the best but he thought it was funny.
As he walked out of the bedroom a bottle of sunscreen was thrown at him, hitting him in the chest as Colt laughed as he closed his own door. With a grumble, Ryland made sure to put on the lotion sunscreen while he waited.
Colt changed fast and then herded Ryland into the rented car with a wide smile and a backpack of things they apparently needed for today’s trip. It seemed like his brother had packed at some point yesterday or maybe even earlier since he didn’t remember the bag when he got here.
It surprised Ryland how excited his brother was to go out and spend time with him. Colt acted like this was one of the best days of his life just hanging around Ryland and dragging him from exhibit to exhibit. Even talking to him in the car about things he thought were cool and trying to get input from Ryland the entire time.
The museums were nice and fun, very informative like always. Ryland did really love learning about everything he could but it’s not the same as it used to be, the whole thing made him feel a little melancholy. Every day he missed the lab a little more and a little less, he really wished he wasn’t so hot headed.
Ryland was feeling like he was ruining the experience for Colt with how sad he was acting, constantly not answering like he used to. He felt like he changed too much to fit into the hole he left behind before he ran away from everything, maybe he shouldn’t have come back into his brother’s life.
“I know what we need to do!” Colt all but screamed over the wind from the open windows of the car. They were heading to somewhere Colt was excited to go, a wide smile on his face as he drove. “We need to get some sun on you Ry! You look like a dying Victorian boy.”
“Wow, that had to have taken most of your brain cells to think about didn’t it.” Ryland deadpanned with a smile on his face. “Do you need to take a break and drink some water?”
“Hey I picked some things up from those museums we went to.” Colt laughed out, “You aren’t the only one that can learn.”
They continued to banter for the first time all day in the car until they pulled up to some picturesque beach filled with people. The unease from earlier filled his veins, the irrational fear of someone knowing who he was whispering in his ears again. Before he could get too lost in his mind, Colt opened his door and pulled him out.
Dragging him out and locking the car after throwing the backpack into Ryland’s arms. He let out a huff of air as the bag hit his chest, what could Colt have possibly put in here that made the bag so heavy. It felt like the laws of physics were being disrespected by this bag, Colt would find a way to break the fundamental laws of life just to piss Ryland off.
“Did you pack rocks in this thing?” Ryland asked, his brother ignored him and started dragging him onto the beach. Thank god he wore flip flops, the idea of sand in his usual converse made him cringe.
Apparently Colt wanted to take his nerdy, pasty pale brother to the beach to surf. Ryland didn’t know how to surf, he barely went swimming before he ruined his life! He hasn’t done anything super physical in like a year and everyone who looks at him could tell he was super weak.
Colt did not care about his protests, too excited about getting his brother in the ocean. If only Ryland could get them to just go snorkeling, that would be safe and easy. He assumes, Ryland has no idea. Because he’s never done it!
After a few hours of being in the ocean, one thing became clear to Ryland. Colt was good at surfing and Ryland was not. Colt was doing just fine and had probably done this before and just wanted to laugh at him. He kept pointing and laughing as Ryland struggled to even get on the board.
Surprisingly it didn’t ruin how much fun he was having, Ryland thought this would be a miserable experience but somehow with his twin it wasn’t so bad. Even when he thought he was about to drown a few times after being sent into orbit off the board.
At one point Ryland looked around at all the people running around, having fun and talking to each other. Colt and him were just people having fun like all these other people, not a stunt man and a failed microbiologist. Instead it was just two identical twins trying and failing to surf in the ocean, being brothers.
Ryland held onto the board and just floated in the water, relaxing in the waves moving him around. He could feel the ache in his muscles already, tomorrow was going to be hell if he kept this up.
“Alright Ry,” Colt laughed as he swam up beside him. “Let's get you out of the sun and somewhere with fresh water. You are gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow.”
He let out a laugh, rolling his eyes at Colt and struggling himself back onto his board. Breathing heavy and laying there for a moment, hearing his brother laugh at him and feeling him start pulling Ryland to shore.
“Looks like you hurt now, that sunburn’s not gonna be fun. Sorry Ry.” Colt actually sounded a little apologetic, which he should be. If Ryland had a bad sunburn then it was Colt’s fault, he was the one who dragged him here.
Finally getting himself together enough, Ryland realized that his brother was right. He did have a tightness between his shoulder blades that indicates a pretty rough burn for him, that is really gonna suck. But that does mean he has an excuse to skip at least tomorrow’s time on set.
He felt like a newborn deer as they finally made it back to shore, taking wobbling steps as Colt managed to gather everything up and return everything. Just as he felt like he was getting a hold of himself, Colt threw the backpack at Ryland and laughed as he stumbled.
The glare he gave Colt must have made his twin feel bad since he grabbed it back and led the way back to where the car was parked. Talking about what was going to happen on set practically in riddles since he wasn’t supposed to talk about the movie at all in the first place.
“Wait,” Ryland stopped walking and stared at the backpack on Colt. “What was the backpack for?”
Colt looked back and smiled, “Don’t worry about it, we’ll get to it a different day.”
Ryland took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his twin was insufferable. He knew that Ryland would not stop thinking and wondering what was in that backpack until he was shown, he knew that. The mystery would eat at him until he was shown inside, it was the scientist in him craving knowledge.
Colt’s snickering and the sound of the car doors opening were what finally made him just decide to ignore it for now. He would find out what was in that damn backpack by the end of this trip, that was something he was going to make sure of.
The moment Colt got into the car both brothers let out a sigh of relief, it was such a fun day but both of them seemed excited to get back to the apartment. Ryland so he could get this sunburn dealt with and Colt had to get some sleep before work.
“Colt,” Ryland said as he looked over in the car, giving his brother an annoyed face. “I’m not going to set for the next few days with this sunburn that’s about to make me want to die.”
Colt winced and nodded, “Yeah that’s understandable.”
Both brothers made eye contact and just started snickering, then chuckled a few times before it turned into full belly laughing.
“You were supposed to be watching out for me!” Ryland managed to get out between laughs, smacking Colt’s arm.
“Oh what happened to being an adult huh,” Colt laughed back, “I thought we are equals and twins.”
Ryland laughed harder, tears building at the edges of his eyes, “Oh fudge off Colt, you know what I mean!”
“Fudge off?” Colt laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe, just wheezing for a moment before continuing. “What are you, an old man?”
Both of them tried to collect themselves, just snickering as they watched the outside world keep spinning. It was a good day, much better than he thought it would have been. Colt kept having to make up for the drag that Ryland kept bringing but he didn’t seem to mind, just kept trying to enjoy the day with him. It was nice.