Chapter Text
Jason lay comfortably on his couch scrolling through twitter, It’s been a good few years. He’s generating enough income for a nice one person studio, his fanbase is growing steadily, and he hasn’t been bothered by Gotham problems since leaving. He’s living the life. This was his brilliant idea, well, he wanted to wait for the drama that is his family to end, and get better. And to do that, he needed a distraction.
As someone who used to have an art degree in a previous life, Jason decided to use his skills to build an online presence, to paint DC characters and practice a never-before seen style. At least at this time.
He stops at the reply asking him to paint Batman. This particular user is someone Jason has seen a lot, whenever he posted a new video too, he always asked for Batman. Not that he actually hated Bruce like the Original, but some parts of his memory still lingers. As in, it still bothered Jason that it felt like he completely replaced the Original Jason, and since that version of him can’t live out his life, he sometimes felt the need to keep that hatred for Bruce there to keep him alive.
Does this make sense?
“Agh, but I also can’t avoid it forever.” Jason grumbles out loud, “Should I just paint him now?” Jason grins as another quite evil idea appears in his mind, “Maybe I should send him a message, heh.”
–
Red Hood ☑ @redhood・3hr
To those who wanted Batman…
[link]
2M Views | 1.3M Likes
[Video starts off with heavy taping marking the outline of Batman’s silhouette looking back. Red Hood grabbed a black paint bucket and just poured it down the middle, over the tape too. Once the silhouette is defined, he takes a hair dryer to speed dry the paint, then takes out a cloth to take off the excess paint.
The music starts off slow, the more the video jump cuts, the faster the song speeds up. Red Hood takes a spatula and scraps off a general cityscape, then paints red, white, and blue to portray nighttime Gotham when it rains. The city placed at the bottom half of the page, it's in Batman’s cape, showing this is the city he protects. Once rendered, he carefully rips the tape off revealing a clean outline of Batman’s over the dark city below.
Red Hood then takes the canvas off the stands to show the camera, the music slows to a lullaby melody before– BAM! A fist punches through the canvas, right where his head was. The music shrieks like a jumpscare moment during movies. Slowly, Hood retracts his fist, turns the painting around to take another look at it, and chuckles. And that is how the video ends.]
Splash painting Batman, the old man had it coming lol
5M views | Posted XX Feb 201X | 3.1M Likes
Ngl, it’s missing something. I think it could have looked much better if I just blew him up lol. Anyways I’ve linked the materials below and… Show more
Comments
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G0ThamC1tiz3n4
All the people who flinched at the end👇
578k Likes
DontClickOnMyPicture
Honestly? Deserved. 🚡🚡🚡
378k Likes
IDunGetIt
THE COMPOSITIONNNNN!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
298k Likes
–
I’m so gay @redhoodsupremacy ・3hr
↳ replying to @redhood
LMFAO BASED FUCKING BASED HOOD
1.1M Views | 950k Likes
I Live in the Shadows @theDORKknight ・2hr
↳ replying to @redhood
Uh, I want to politely ask, what did Batman do to you?
1.4M Views | 980k Likes
Red Hood ☑ @redhood・2hr
↳ replying to @theDORKknight
Exist.
1.8M Views | 1M Likes
I’m so gay @redhoodsupremacy・2hr
↳ replying to @redhood
PREAAAAAACH
923k Views | 541k Likes
Damian Wayne ☑ @thebloodson・2hr
↳ replying to @redhood
I do not understand why you desecrated one of your most exquisite portraits you have ever created.
1.3M Views | 895k Likes
Suslock Slomes @detectivesprinter・1hr
↳ replying to @thebloodson
I say it’s better destroyed, it gives character, story, and meaning
981k Views | 567k Likes
Erm Aktchually 🤓☝️ @sillyweed・1hr
↳ replying to @detectivesprinter
Okay, Shakespeare.
576k Views | 241k Likes
Red Hood ☑ @redhood・1hr
↳ replying to @sillyweed
No no, he’s right.
634k Views | 487k Likes
Erm Aktchually 🤓☝️ @sillyweed・1hr
↳ replying to @redhood
OH MY GOD RED HOOD REPLIED TO ME
354k Views | 156k Likes
Nightwing’s left asscheek @nightw1ngfan123・1hr
↳ replying to @redhood
LMFAOOO I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT PUNCH PUAHAHAHAHA
1M Views | 665k Likes
Nightwing’s right asscheek @steponmeplease・55m
↳ replying to @nightw1ngfan123
The hole makes it so much better 😂😂
892k Views | 480k Likes
Nightwing’s left asscheek @nightw1ngfan123・46m
↳ replying to @steponmeplease
WHOMST THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!?!?
678k Views | 354k Likes
🌸樱花🌸 @blossomingflower・1hr
↳ replying to @redhood
Translated from Japanese:
Woah! So pretty! Your style is so amazing!!🌸
950k Views | 431k Likes
Itsy Bitsy @av3ragem3trop0lis・43m
↳ replying to @redhood
In all seriousness, this painting is magnificent. I don’t know who hurt you but keep up the good work ❤️👍
1.3M Views | 997k Likes
Fair @mygodheshot・34m
↳ replying to @av3ragem3trop0lis
[Gif: Absolute Cinema]
912k Views | 451k Likes
Meanwhile, deep down inside a certain Bat Cave, sits a teen curled up on a chair in front of the many screens, known as the Batcomputer. Tim lounges there lazily in just a simple sweater and leggings built for comfort than business. It was a lazy day, most rogues were steadily secured in Arkham, and the family didn’t have any pressing issues to sort out. Babs would occasionally check in as Oracle during the day in between her job as a librarian, and Dick would call or text them at least once a week since he lives far in Bludhaven now. Steph sticks around more often, well, more like when Cass was guaranteed there at the Manor as well. Damian goes to school now, and when he comes home, he hangs around Dick as his obvious favorite brother.
Everyone is on better terms now, Dick and Bruce don't shout all the time even when tensions are high, it’s progress. Cass’ signing lessons are improving a lot so now he can have full conversations with her, so that was fun. Damian, although still very prickly, is starting to settle down with the rest of their rhythms. At least he isn’t trying to kill him anymore. Babs is doing better, and him? He’s doing okay.
Okay, he was doing okay.
Tim stiffens, he stops scrolling when this one video caught his eye. He gasps and his eyes widen, not because of the speedpaint of Batman, but because of the name; Red Hood. An old alias of The Joker. He taps on the video and it plays, the music, the sounds, and an eerily familiar voice to go along with it.
“Hey everyone! Welcome back to Paint Your Heroes!” A lanky man wearing a red bucket over their head, googly eyes glued front, and sporting a brown leather jacket stood off to the side, “I am the ever handsome and bestest boy Red Hood and I have heard your pleas for the one and only Dark Knight!”
There was a soft groan that vibrated from underneath the bucket, “More like Gotham’s one and only Bat Furry.”
“How old do ya’ll think he’s at right now? He’s still packing some muscles so I’d say not 70 yet, I think he started around his prime and he’s still a hero after 20 years. I’d say he’s like, 46 years old now.”
“Imagine if he chose a bat because he hates them fuckers, I mean bats– like specifically cave bats and scary af. I’d understand it, like bro probably dressed as one to get over his batphobia or something. Respect I guess. I’d still drop kick him.”
“Ya’ll know Bruce Wayne, right? Now, I don’t know ‘bout you but, he’s got the same adoption problem as Batman. Both got too many kids, rip to that one kid– or two kids I guess. ” Hood bends down mid-sentence to take something hard out of the red paint bucket. “--ahah! There’s my brush! I thought I lost it, I mean I did lose it, and it’s covered in paint, but I got it again.” There was a pause. “Wait, how do I paint… hm.”
“Batman’s the type of guy who would hiss at the sun and stay up super late, full suit, cape wrapped around like a blanket, coffee on the side solving weird cases. And he wonders why his kids don’t have better habits,” Hood huffs… fondly? “It’s because all them kids learned that from the old man.”
“And there you have it! But hm,” Red Hood scratched his non-existent chin, “Something’s missing here… Oh! I know!” Then without any further warning, Red Hood punched through the canvas board, right where Batman’’s head was and pulled it out. “There! Now it’s done!”
Tim sat there stunned, not because of the pure disrespect of Batman, people have their opinions, he was shocked because of the facts he was dropping during the painting session. It was like this Red Hood knew them personally, as if telling them he knew their… faces. This is bad, this could mean–
Tim shook his head, no, he shouldn’t jump into conclusions, he needs to focus like a bat. He needs to investigate. Getting to work, Tim pulled out Oracle's chat and sent the video link, “Red Robin to Oracle, I have found a suspicious video and I need another set of eyes to determine if the suspicion is viable.”
Babs' response is fast, “Copy that Red, Oh I’ve seen his videos before.” She connects herself to the Batcomputer, for a video chat instead.
“You have?” Tim questions, scrolling through his YouTube page.
Barbara hums, “Yeah, he paints really good portraits of heroes all around the world, my personal favorite was the one with Wonder Woman.”
“Did he punch a hole through her canvas too?”
“No… He just knelt down and worshiped her,” Barbara squinted at the twitter post, “Oh, Damian follows them too.”
“Wait what–?” Tim scrolls down on the reply chain and blinks, “Exquisite? I’ve never seen or heard him say that, like, ever.”
“That’s some high praise.” Babs hummed.
“Yeah, like what the fuck? I’ve NEVER heard the Demon Brat say that word. The MOST I’ve heard was ‘Adequate’. And he calls this man’s painting exquisite!?” He asks incredulously.
“Oh hush you, you’re being overdramatic.”
“I’M NOT BEING OVERDRAMATIC!” His face grew red, he’s not. This guy clearly knows too much and is subtly hinting it at them! Like dangling a smelly fish in front of a hungry cat! It’s suspicious.
“You are, and when’s the last time you slept? I think you’re starting to look a bit cross-eyed.”
“It- You- I’m not!” Tim stutters, he’s gotten enough sleep! “I had like, 8 hours!” … This week. He didn’t say the last part out loud, but it looks like Babs heard it anyway.
“Uh huh, and before you start harassing this guy because your sleep deprived brain connected some dots that weren't even there, you should check out his other posts first.” Babs drawls, “And if you still feel like something’s off, then you can call me.”
“Who’s harassing who?”
Tim jumped at Duke’s voice, damn how had he not heard him? He’s not that tired, right?
“Hey Duke, Tim’s sussing on this poor guy on twitter.” Babs, oh so politely informs Duke.
Duke squints at the screen, “Oh it’s Red Hood, I’m subbed.” He turned to Tim with a raised eyebrow, “Why you sussing him?”
“You also follow him?!”
“Yeah, I like his paintings.” Duke smirks, “One of his first was about Signal you know? It was so awesome of course I followed him.”
“Tim thinks this guy might know more than he does, but what I think is that he’s overthinking this and needs to sleep.”
“But just listen to this!” Tim pulls up a clip of Red Hood talking shit, “It’s like directly referencing Bruce and Batman being the same person!”
Duke pursed his lips, “But that could also be a theory, like there’s so many Bat Conspiracy theorists out there that are like that. Don’t you remember ‘The Butts Match’ theory?” He pats a hand down Tim’s shoulder, “You might be overthinking this one a little.”
“See? Duke agrees with me.” Babs is looking far too smug there.
“You two can not be ganging up on me like this.”
“We can and we will, go to sleep, Tim.” Babs concluded and logged off.
“I’m gonna go do my homework now, and yeah get some sleep dude.” Duke pats him one final time before turning to leave.
Tim grumbles at the screen with that cursed Red Hood’s channel pulled up. He knows something's up, and nobody believes him! Just wait and see, if– when he’s proven right they will all owe him an ‘I told you so.’
“This all happened because of him,” Tim mumbles.
Curse you Red Hood.
Jason’s having the time of his life.
He’s still amidst his studio cleaning the walls off of paints, and he’s scrolling through social media just gawffing at the comments. Oh this is life, he’s peaked, and with the info he’s spilled it’s either Bruce or Tim absolutely losing their shit right now. And Jason couldn’t help but grin wide at the thought. He should have done this a long time ago by the way it’s trending.
And oh, is it trending.
The comments, and the replies, it just keeps coming.
Jason almost trips as he bends over laughing. That last comment almost sent him into a wall.
Jason heaves, trying to catch his breath, and as he wipes a tear with the back of his glove, he smiles content. Hopefully he had honored the Original’s with this one viral post.
This was the best day of his life.