Chapter Text
CHAPTER 3 – HUMANS
That was how I ended up traveling northwest, far away from the desert. The desert was a place where folk already knew each other, already had their culture, and were set in their ways. I needed to shake out the old and begin anew. I was on foot, and since it was warm and I was young, I was able to sleep cleanly under the stars, drink from ponds, and find food where I needed it. But after a few days of wandering, following the same star pattern, I realised how tired and desparate I was for a decent place to rest. The howling desert winds brought cleanliness but also brought a constant ruckus and no shelter. The sand was harsh on my skin after a while of not bathing, and I could tell that my clothes were a little worse for wear.
I had been treated quite well by the bandits: given fresh clothes and ample food and shelter. I hadn’t even bothered to think ahead about how much those things meant to me. On day three, the plain desert gave way to shrubs, and on day four I found a stream to follow, drink from, and find food in the form of small animals to catch, kill, and eat raw (I didn’t know how to make a fire). The shrubs gave way to bushes, which gave way to trees – I had seen trees, but not this many. The springy fresh foliage under my booted feet was welcome, and I was encouraged by the ability I found within myself to be alone and fend for myself. I was, however, driven to keep walking to find…somebody. Another person, or group of people to try to be with so that I could try my hand at being with someone again.
When the haze of the daytime cleared I could see that the stream was leading me towards some mountains in the distance. After a few days, hills rose around me, the stream making a valley around and between them. The trees were larger, and I couldn’t see the mountains anymore. It was in the forest that I first saw her – another person! I almost stumbled upon her, but was able to stop and observe her from behind a tree. She was collecting water into a wooden bucket. I could clearly see she was—yes, she was a human woman!
It was the first time I had seen humans for real and seeing them triggered some memory of humans being described to me by a tutor or someone years before. Compared to what I came to understand as my race of people (we called ourselves deldahe, though as you are well aware, I am referred to by humans and other folk as a “demon”), the humans had smaller and weaker everything: they were smaller in stature on average, kept their flimsy fingernails short and rounded, had rounded ears and smooth hair. They did not seem to indulge in the ritual blood tattooing that my people took part in.
I followed this woman a short distance to find a whole village surrounding a widened portion of the river. I watched the woman disappear into the village with her water, keeping myself out of sight. I decided to try to walk around the tree-lined perimeter of the village to observe the humans. It looked like they lived under the shade of the trees, so their skin was paler than I was used to. There were forest clearings and terraced foothills for some type of vegetable crops. (I later learned the names of these root vegetables they liked to harvest, though I could never quite get the hang of enjoying them). There were downed trees in various states of wood harvest. It was around midday and the place was bustling – I could see the smoke from fires, hear laughter and singing from folks who were out doing their daily work. I spied people washing their clothes in parts of the river.
Growing impatient, I decided to make myself known. From behind the trees, I spotted a few females who were chatting, looking like they were having a break from tending to a mid-sized vegetable field full of semi-sprouted plants. They were all wearing colorful headscarves and two of them were covered in dirt, while a third looked like she was just visiting. I approached slowly, with my hands in front of me, and gestured hello when I could see that they were looking in my direction. One of them gasped and pointed at me, then the two others turned and gasped alike. I froze, trying to make them understand that I was not a threat. This was a new exercise for me: I wasn’t used to trying to make myself LESS intimidating. I tried to do the opposite of what I would have done when I was out to steal things from people and make them suffer. I hunched over instead of standing tall, I made slow, deliberate gestures with open hands instead of sweeping, mean gestures with a weapon, and I tried to make my facial expression relaxed instead of angry or smiling wryly. It turned out to be easy – none of these people were a threat to me, and since I couldn’t understand their language, I didn’t really care what they were saying, or even try to guess. It was like a clean slate.
But it was strange and embarrassing what I was doing, trying to communicate, and I was instantly aware of how little I had thought anything through. Even though I was trying to be as non-threatening as possible, all three of the women left in a hurry. I heard a commotion in the town -- ambient noises such as the sounds of people working stopped. Idle chatter paused while hushed words were exchanged and surprised statements came from elsewhere. I stood at the edge of the field a little beyond the shelter of the trees, and listened with curiosity for what might happen. I started to hear louder, lower voices and it dawned on me that I might be in trouble. The hairs at the back of my neck stood up and cried "danger" and I backed away toward a shady spot, where I wouldn't be seen.
I had thought that most or all of the humans were compact and soft, but then I spied a few larger males sporting weapons of a style I hadn't seen before. (I would come to learn they were some kind of spring-powered weapon that flung arrows very fast.) Three of the larger males from the village replaced the three females at the very spot I had found them chatting, and they spread out in formation with their weapons, working together to slowly sweep the scene for me. I left quickly and quietly, walking backwards to keep my eye on the village.
If I had still been with the bandits, I would have welcomed the violence. But this was a new group of people, a new social structure – a chance to start over in a different way, one that would not tie me back down to what I had been. But it looked like the people were already afraid of me. I backed away some more, uncertain of whether I should continue trying to communicate or whether I should move on. At least the presence of people was better than the intense loneliness of travel on my own. I found I couldn’t convince myself to leave the village entirely behind in favor of continuing my solo journey.
Deliberately putting distance between myself and danger for the present, I walked for some time, marking my distance from the village by the thickness of the trees, and started ascending a small slope. This was the foothill of a nearby mountain, the beginning of a range of mountains. After my failure to safely make myself known to the villagers, I had ignored my appetite, but now it was of growing concern. Thankfully I could hear the rustling of many creatures in the thick mountain woods, and was able to successfully find myself a meal of a small animal before darkness fell that day.
I don't remember how I found it, but I ended up sheltering in a small crevasse in the mountainside, mostly inhospitable, but meeting the minimum requirements for shelter for me: protection from view, and a shape that was more or less enclosed, feeling emotionally like protection. I knew nothing about how to make a decent shelter for myself out of nothing in a place like this. The trees dropped needles that were soft enough when bunched up, so I gathered myself up a bed of needles, but they still poked oddly at me, and they slid off of each other, so it was hard to cover myself with them for warmth.
And it was colder than I was used to. Just by ascending a little, I could feel the temperature drop as the sky darkened. There were clouds overhead that, as I soon found out, threatened rain. I had rarely seen rain in my life, growing up in a desert, and in this place, rain came on day 1. As I noticed the wet spots on the ground and then felt them on my skin, I resolved to try my luck again at the human village under cover of darkness.
I know you must think it funny -- we've been roughing it together for a long time, right? I'm a perfect happy camper now. (Hey, don't laugh.) But I didn't like the cold at all, and I also had started to doubt why I ran away from the humans with the unfamiliar weapons. That feeling I got that scared me away...well that was just a feeling, wasn't it? The reason I ran away became less and less clear as the temperature dropped.
I headed down the mountain, trying to retrace my steps in the dark (which was not that smart, I realise now - again, this is a desert thing: you tend to move at night. But in the forest, you gotta stay put at night!). Eventually it came to a point where I could smell the town - the smell of wood smoke was unmistakable. I hurried but, in my haste, did not see what I was doing and ran straight into a human who was making her way from what I would come to know as a far corner of the village (which I couldn't see, which was why I didn't think I was even there yet) to her home. I ran square into her shoulder, and we both bounced comedically off each other, each of us grunting an "ahh!" before ascertaining what the heck had happened.
We were both in absolute darkness, so she didn't register me at all as the stranger from before at first. But I recognised by her voice that she was one of the females who had first seen me. I froze again and as she was talking to me (laughing at first, then with concern as I didn't respond predictably) and my mind raced with what to do. I simply waited until she put a hand out to prod my shoulder and see if I was awake, and then it dawned on her that I wasn't one of her own.
I had no idea what to do. I thought about the way I was before, first with my family, then with the bandits. When I was with my family, I acted out of what I thought was my duty. Then that all went downhill and I thought I should be somebody who fit in to a gang of violent thieves. I had utterly no context for what was happening here, so I was a blank slate, relying on this complete stranger to set the tone for what how I should behave next. It was a better start than I had ever received before.
I think she realised I was wet, cold, and miserable. She said some words in a tone that was soothing but matter-of-fact, and slowly grabbed my arm and pulled, walking toward the source of the smell of smoke, the village proper. I walked along with her, a little dazed and a little worried about what would happen. For all I knew she could have been taking me directly towards the large men with their threatening weapons to be interrogated. But instead she discreetly threaded me through the shadows when we reached the edge of the village, and had me duck under the deck of a wooden house on the river front out of the rain while she went into it. A few minutes later, she came back what looked like a large blanket. The drops of rain had grown more prominent by this point. After she gave me the blanket, she she rushed me into a smaller wooden building about a minute down the river from the main house, which was completely dark. She opened the door, which I couldn’t make out, and when we went inside, the air stilled and the sound of the raindrops muted. The floor of the building was dirt, which I could smell. The woman started tugging at my sleeve, speaking in soft, but urgent tones. I didn't know what she was saying but after a minute of her tugging and gesturing in the dark, repeating one or two words over and over, I realised she meant that I needed to strip off my wet clothes.
When I reached down to take off my tunic, she seemed satisfied, and turned to leave, saying a few words on her way out before closing the door of the small building.
After I had removed my wet clothes (I'm glad she had insisted!) and covered myself entirely with the large blanket she had given me, I sat down in the darkness and waited. The dry fabric insulated my heat back to me, and I felt myself thawing. She came back a few minutes later with a lit candle and I saw her face up close for the first time.
Our eyes met and I realised she was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen. She was kind and soft. Her face, framed by her headscarf and loosely-curled hair exuded confidence and strength. Her eyes were green, a color I had never seen before in eyes. They were inquisitive and imploring. Her lips pleased me second to her smile, which was generously given and unapologetic.
Sorry, it's weird to remember this now. It was so long ago, and she had stayed with me so permanently, but everything got so muddled after a few hundred years passed, so ... it's just weird that I can remember exactly how we met and what her face looked like. Especially since she was a human, and died after such a short life.