Chapter Text
Khaslana didn't really plan to go back there. Cifera insisted that they should get himself checked. She had never let go of his hand once during the entire walk. She could've used her power to speed their way through back to the Twilight Courtyard, but the feline woman decided to just take their time.
It was a small mercy. He needed time to think. If he returned there, he would have to face the others too. How was he going to do that? It was a terrifying thought. Would they be upset that he left without saying anything? They would definitely be.
No other words were exchanged during the entire walk. Not even a joke from Cifera. It was just a quiet path with the moonlight following them. Thinking about it now, she really was like the moon. Always watching from afar, always following from a distance. Did she ever find comfort in Kephale's light when it had been her lie who kept the fire going? The Dawn Device was her biggest contribution. Knowing she couldn't risk a step where Aglaea's threads used to be, where the Dawn Device basked its people in its light, was she ever fine being the moonlight?
Probably not. Definitely not.
Oh, to apologize for their fates.
If she really hated him, she wouldn't bother with him. But here she was, holding his hand as if he was some lost child. Maybe he really was a lost child. Getting led back to where the others were. If she really hated him, she would've taken the chance to berate him nonstop.
"Deliverer," she spoke. That snapped him out of his thoughts. "If you need to say something, say it. I can feel you staring at me." Oh, was he staring? He didn't even mean to.
"You don't have to lie. I think I've had enough of lying now."
He paused his steps, making her pause too. He took a while to respond, his eyes now stuck on the ground as if he was guilty for getting caught staring even though he didn't realize he was doing it.
"I'm sorry, Cifera," he started. The grip on his hand tightened slightly, and there was a hitch of breath coming from her. "I am so, so sorry for what I did--"
"Phainon, you're burning up again."
Oh, was he?
"Look. You apologizing to me won't make me feel better. I think apologizing to others won't make them feel better either," she replied. He couldn't see what face she was making, and he didn't want to see. "I don't want to get too sappy. I...I don't get it fully, if I'm being honest. But I don't want your apology."
His wings drooped at her words. As if realizing she must've messed up, she quickly added, "But you know what would make me feel better?"
Khaslana finally lifted his head to face her. She was grinning, that signature look of mischief back on her face.
Oh, he could feel his spine shiver at whatever plan she was thinking.
Mydei couldn't sit still.
Even if he forced himself to sleep, he just couldn't. He wanted to find Phainon himself, but everyone insisted that they let Cipher keep an eye on him. Not to sound so doubtful about the cat's plan, but they should've let him find him. Not keep him here as if he was a lion failing to be contained. He needed to see for himself if Phainon was alright. He needed Phainon to be safe, preferably in his arms. But no, they wouldn't let him leave. Surprisingly, he hadn't fought back and stormed his way out. Truth be told, he was also exhausted himself just from the mental gymnastics alone.
"Little lion," a voice from above. "Catch!"
Before Mydei could even question what the hell she- wait, Cipher?!
If it wasn't for his fast reflexes, the person thrown at him would've crushed him to death.
Now he didn't have time to test if his immortality was still in tact in Nova Era, and he really didn't want to know right now. Not when the Deliverer was still out there. He couldn't risk it and die because he was trying to find out. It would be a disaster.
He caught the person, but because he was caught off guard, he still ended up falling on the ground on his back. He grunted at the impact, and immediately adjusted whoever the hell got caught in his arms. When he finally got the moment, his eyes widened at the sight of--
"Deliverer?!"
Khaslana found himself back on his bed again. He wasn't alone anymore though. Anaxagoras, Hyacinthia, Cerydra and Mydeimos were there. Cipher was too, but she had gone outside to look for Aglaea and Tribios.
Somehow, he felt like he was trapped in a cage. There was no way out unless he hurt these people. Of course he wasn't going to. He would never do that again.
"Lord Phainon, you look worse than before," Hyacinthia pursed her lips with mild frustration. She had redressed his wounds and performed a healing spell on him. However, it did little repair on his state. If only they knew the truth about his wounds.
"Lord Phainon," she spoke again. "Does anything hurt?"
Does anything hurt?
Yes, everything hurt.
He couldn't even face them. What face could he face them? It was different with Cifera. At least he was only facing one person. But four of them? He couldn't even open his mouth to speak. He was terrified that he might say the wrong words. Cifera hadn't accepted his apology. What if the feline woman was right? What if they wouldn't accept his apologies too?
He could feel himself burning again. Why was he so quick to spiral down?
Guilty. Always so guilty.
"Phainon," now it was Anaxagoras' turn to speak. "Does anything hurt?"
Yes, everything hurt. He wished the sight of him alone could answer that. He could hear Mydeimos letting out a sigh on the side.
"The Deliverer is overwhelmed," Cerydra replied for him. He tensed at her words. She wasn't really wrong. It just felt terrifying to be present at the moment. He wished this was all just a dream, so when he'd wake up, they wouldn't have to be here--
"We are aware, but I think we've given him plenty of time and space. Let him go and we lose him again," the performer spoke, his tone calm on the surface. He could feel the tinge of worry in his voice. He was so like Aglaea when it came to concerns. Always trying to be stoic even if their hearts were bleeding for people.
It wasn't really like Anaxagoras to speak like that. He expected the professor would let him go.
If anything, he expected Mydeimos to be the one to insist that he stay.
"I don't want to see any of my students getting hurt again. Not on my watch."
There it was.
Khaslana always knew the professor cared. Anaxagoras wasn't like the heartless, insane person people made him out to be. He cared, as absurd as that maybe have sounded. He believed knowledge should be something that is shared, not kept. He believed truth is something to be acknowledged. He questioned gods for a chance at fate. For the truth. And he succeeded, multiple times across the cycles. The man to make a very bold move and messed with the program himself a few times.
To hear him say that he cares though? That was rare. The man wasn't the type to be sappy.
"So I ask again, Phainon of Aedes Elysiae," Anaxagoras asked again, "Does anything hurt?"
"Professor Anaxa," Khaslana finally spoke, his voice wavering as he kept his eyes on the ground. The three of them watched him as his wings lifted slightly before drooping to his sides, spilling on the sheets as he continued. Mydeimos still kept his gaze somewhere.
"I am so, sorry."
Hyacinthia's breath hitched. He could hear Mydeimos shifting on his spot. Cerydra kept quiet.
"I don't have the right to be here anymore. With everything I have done, with the blood on my hands and the heat of the coreflames inside me, I no longer have the right to be here. I am a threat. I am not the Phainon you all knew."
It took a while for Khaslana to lift his head. He didn't have the courage to face them, but he knew he had to. So when he lifted his head to finally face them, his eyes widened at the sight.
Hyacinthia looked like she was going to cry. Mydeimos was looking at him with worry. The Kremnoan prince looked like he was restraining himself from getting close to him. Cerydra's lips were pursed, as if she wanted to say something but chose to be quiet for now.
Anaxagoras though? He looked pissed.
"In all of those cycles, you had never addressed me properly like I keep telling you to," the professor took a step. His wings lifted slightly as if sensing a threat. He could feel himself burning up slightly again, and he could tell the other could feel it.
"I have asked you a simple question. Does anything hurt?"
He had never seen his professor so truly pissed. At that moment, he had forgotten how serious the man could get if he was pursuing something.
"Yes, my- everything hurts, Professor," he gulped and looked at the man sheepishly. That seemed to placate the professor. The scowl wasn't entirely gone, but at least he didn't look like he was going to shoot him anymore.
"Phainon, did you seriously think we would push you away after all that happened?"
Khaslana suddenly straightened up at the question. He couldn't bear to see the man's face again so he returned his gaze on the ground. At that, Anaxagoras clicked his tongue.
"If you truly do think that, then why did Mydeimos look for you?"
The air suddenly felt tensed. He couldn't open his mouth.
"Why did Hyacine patch you up? Why did Cipher bring you back here?"
The professor kept going, his voice slightly wavering as he continued.
"Why did Aglaea cry for you? Do you have any idea how many times Tribios prayed that you were safe? Or how many times Castorice had gone back to Styxia, hoping she wouldn't find you there in pieces?"
Khaslana bit his lower lip in guilt. How could they be wasting effort on him?
"You can deny your identity as our Phainon all you want, but we are not blind. You can't fool us like Cipher even if you have millions of the coreflame of trickery. We have eyes, Phainon of Aedes Elysiae, and we see you."
The heat inside him simmered down. The tears he was expecting to evaporate betrayed him. They fell on his cheeks as his breath got caught in his throat.
Anaxagoras took a step, and then another, until he was standing close enough to put his hand on his student's shoulder.
"I was right. Whatever power you have nestled deep inside you was is no longer aimed at us. It never was. Tell me, if you really think you don't belong here, then why aren't you hurting us at the moment?"
Khaslana lifted his head to meet the professor's eye. The man no longer looked upset. If anything, he looked hurt.
"Save your apologies, Phainon. Everything you did had come to fruition. Wasn't it your sacrifices that led us to the Nova Era? What's done is done. We have seen the truth, and we decided that you belong where home is."
Hyacinthia nodded along and smiled, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she clasped her hands on her chest.
"Welcome back home, Snowy."