Chapter Text
We’re in a mess hall, it’s an ordinary day on Kamino, except we have it free from training.
"Tup, to which battalion do you think we’ll be assigned?" Cabur asks, nudging my twin. I glare at him, he might have hurt my vod. I know he’s a batchmate, but still it bothers me when any of them does such thing.
"I don’t know. I just hope it’ll won’t be Coruscant Guard. I couldn’t stand the Senators." Tup says, and I laugh quietly.
"I hope for 212th, under CC-2224, Marshal Commander Cody and High Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi." I say and hear a snickering coming from table next to ours.
"Yeah, sure. I heard they are quite regulation-following. You’d find yourself at home with them, wouldn’t you, Droid?" One of the clones asks mockingly and I shrink on myself a little. I’ve grown accustomed to being called names like that throughout those five years since my reconditioning. Droid. Reg-Spouter. Dogmatic. Dogmata. Flesh-Droid. Both by trainers, and, what hurt even more, fellow clones.
"Care to repeat that, feeble excuse for a brother?" I hear someone’s voice calling out, and a loud snort afterwards. "I sure can. It’s not like he has feelings. Heard that reconditioning erases them completely, right, Reg-Spouter?" The clone says, and suddenly yelps in pain. I look up, startled. He’s bending over, clutching his abdomen, face scrunched in pain. At his feet, there’s an empty tray, and above him, stands Tup, casually taking a bite of his ration bar, before sitting back at my side like nothing happened. Except, he looks back at the clone for a moment.
"Never disrespect my vod’ika like that every again, you hear me?" He shouts angrily, before wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, vod. Let’s get you to the barracks." Tup says, and I shakily get up, walking to the door.
I didn’t really finish my meal, but it doesn’t matter. Tup always seems to have some extra ration bar he can give me.
*****
"Okay, '22, if they act like that, why don’t take it to General Tii, or-or Commander Blitz?" Tup asks me as I gently brush his hair. I flinch, shaking my head. "No, no need. Besides, they have more important things to do. It’s fine, really." I say, while tying Tup’s hair. He patiently waits until I’m done, and turns around to me, gently cupping my face.
"No. It’s not. I can tell it. I see the way you flinch, shrink or try to shy away every time it happens. We can help you. I can help you." He says.
"Yeah, Tup, I know. It just…doesn’t bother me anymore." I say. After all, after five years, I’m used to it. I hear Tup’s stifled gasp, and find myself wrapped in his arms. He doesn’t say anything, just holds me close.
I hear the barracks door opening and laugher filling the room. Cabur, Puncher and '34 immediately get up, eyes on the ten clones that entered. Tup pulls me closer when the clones pass our bunks.
"…so, you think I could sneak into Doctor Se’s lab and dig around for a bit?" One of them says, and I bristle at that. How can they think of breaking regulations? And like that?! Before Tup can stop me, I get off my bunk and approach them. I know how it’ll likely end, but it’s stronger than me, perhaps thanks to being reconditioned five years ago. But…those particular clones aren’t so bad towards me. They’re '34’s ori’vod’e, so maybe they won’t treat me like others do.
"You can’t do that. You’ll either be reconditioned or sent straight to decommissioning." I say, despite caring little about them, I don’t want any vod’e dead or reconditioned if I could prevent it. Surely they just don’t remember this regulation. But…I don’t understand their reaction. The one that spoke snorts, and they start laughing. "Oh, right. Thanks, '22. The last thing I want is to be like you, Flesh-Clanker. Maybe if I’m caught, I’ll ask them to decommission me, so I won’t become you." He says. I just huff at them, turning back and returning to Tup’s side, head held high. I hear them snickering for a little longer, but when other Triangles get up, they leave barracks.
*****
Tup left the barracks soon after the other squads did. He didn’t even tell me where he went, but I’m patiently waiting for him to come back. I know he will.
And sure enough, he comes back in. He seems…nervous about something, as he climbs back into the spot by my side.
"Tup? Is something wrong?" I ask worriedly. Tup shakes his head. "No, '22. It’s fine, I just…I went to Kaminoans and…I told them about their plans…" Tup whispers, tears shining in his eyes. I can’t believe it.
"What? Why? Why did you do it?" Tup looks at me, lip trembling. "I just…I couldn’t stand hearing them talking about you like that." He whispers.
"Tup…you didn’t have to." I say softly, but I can’t say I’m upset about it. And that’s the worse. I shouldn’t think that way about other clones.
*****
I’m coming back from a little walk around Tipoca City, the sleep cycle is about to start any moment now, and I don’t want to break the rules by staying in corridors while I should be sleeping. Then, I hear footsteps behind me, and I turn around, but the clone prevents me from it, pulling me close and holding tightly. I gasp when another one’s fist is rammed into my stomach, bending over from hit.
The clone holding me drops me and I fall to the ground, clutching my stomach with one hand and shielding my head with the other. Few more hits and kicks land, as I curl in myself, trying to shield the most vital places.
"You shouldn’t have told the Kaminiise about it, Longneck-pet." One of them hisses before slamming my head on the floor. I whimper, but otherwise don’t show any signs of pain. Technically, it wasn’t me who alerted the Kaminoans, but I’m prepared to take the impact of their anger, as long as Tup’s safe.
Other clone snorts. "Forget it, Shortgrip. He’s such a dogmatist that he’d rather die than not use opportunity to let vod’e be decommissioned." He spats out, and I hear them leaving.
I lay on the cold floor for a while, fighting back tears. I have to return to the barracks, but I can’t let Tup see me like this. The medic we visited five years ago would be perfect choice, but he’s been deployed over a year ago. The words of one of them come back to me. Dogmatist. I actually, kind of like the sound of that, it does describe who I am. Contrary to what others might think about me, I am kind of proud of being the way I am, despite it being the effect of reconditioning.
*****
"Vod’ika, what happened to you?" Tup chokes out when I enter the barracks. My ribs and my stomach hurt, as does my head. I suppose there are a lot of bruises and possible split lip. "I…tripped." I lie, avoiding looking at Tup while I go to my bunk to lay down. I hear Tup silently following, sitting by my side.
"Vod’ika…" I sigh at it. And then, I burst into tears, shaking with uncontrolled sobs. "Shhh…hey, '22…it’s okay. It’s okay, ni olar, vod’ika." Tup soothes, and slowly, I manage to calm enough to answer. "T-Tup…I think I have my name now…" I say quietly. Tup seems to perk up at that.
"Did you…remember it, after those five years? It came back?" He asks hopefully, and I shake my head. "No. That one’s…lost. But I think it wouldn’t suit the current me anyway." I reply quietly. Tup strokes my hair. "What is it, then, Vod’ika? I really don’t want to call you with your number anymore." Tup says, and I stifle a laughter. "Dogma…you know, because I’m such a dogmatist…also, to show the others I don’t care anymore…about their mockery…” I whisper. Tup visibly tenses, but he’s quick to relax.
"I…I like it…Dogma. Yeah, I like it, Dogm’ika. But remember, you’re much more than just the regulations. You’re my brother. And you always will be." Tup says, and I feel warmth spreading across my whole body, happiness spreading in my heart.