Chapter Text
After a while Theo started making his own box of memories – the one that went along with his new and improved teenage self.
There were no Spiderman pj’s and Hulk gloves.
There were concert tickets, rock climbing gear and photos of his first driver’s licence.
Picture from tandem-skydiving he got for his sixteenth birthday which made both Buck and Eddie age a decade in the span of half an hour.
A polaroid of his first shiner he got while defending a girl he liked from a bully. And, consecutive polaroid of Eddie being proud that Theo knew how to bend his fist to avoid hurting himself and Buck rolling his eyes in the background.
Over the next twelvish years, the Theo box Chris was still holding onto in the old vacuum box was filling up nicely too.
Christopher was now almost thirty years old and working with NASA at Caltech. Karen was one of his mentors and even though he lived by himself in LA, Theo was more often than not crashing on his couch.
Well, that was the official story we kept telling Buck and dad because … well, let’s just say that Theo knew I wouldn’t tell on him if he turned up on my doorstep mildly drunk or high. I was just glad that he trusted me enough that my home was his safe place.
Not that our home was unsafe – never – it’s just that we both knew how dad would overreact and that Buck would go into a spiral over which hallucinogens Theo tried recreatively and that he could always try them with him – Buck – in a safe environment.
Yeah, Buck was always like that.
And both Theo and me loved him so much that we really didn’t want to make high Buck videos and be tempted to put them on the internet.
So, we had each other’s backs. I knew that he would never cross the line and he knew that I trusted him enough to find his way back home.
***
One of the most memorable things in the overflowing Theo box was a pack of cigarettes that one day – two years ago – Christopher and Theo tried for the first time.
Theo was so nervous at the time.
When he first appeared on Chris’s doorstep, he thought that the boy had done something illegal, but he just wanted to try smoking as every one of his friends was doing it but he was afraid that he either won’t like it or that he would choke on the smoke and make a complete fool of himself.
He placed the lonely box on the table in front of Christopher and the older brother just sighed.
‘’What the hell, I haven’t tried them in years. Might as well do it with you,’’ he said loosening up Theo who for one single moment thought that Chris was going to call Buck and Eddie and tell on him.
Both of the boys choked on the cigarette and decided that it definitely wasn’t for them and that even though everybody around them were doing something it didn’t necessarily mean that it’s a good thing or their thing.
Several months after the first cigarette Theo appeared on Chris’s door once again reeking of weed and wordlessly gave Christopher his Spiderman lighter and murmured something that sounded a lot like – ‘’Definitely not my cup of tea.’’
The Spiderman lighter sits proudly next to the lonely pack of cigarettes.
***
Theo’s eighteenth birthday was fast approaching and the box was overflowing from the contents. At one point Christopher thought to get a bigger box, or a personalized one – but he opted out because he knew that the moment he gives it to Theo the boy would giggle to death.
He still flinched every time a vacuum ran in the other room.
The box contained photos of Theo’s homecomings and prizes from science projects.
His little league trophies and achievements in sports.
A group polaroid selfie with Buck, Eddie, Chris and Theo in front of a giant NASA sign for Chris’s first internship.
Buck’s captain’s ceremony at the 118 few years back.
Eddie’s Incident Commander’s ceremony at the approximately same time.
Newspaper’s clippings of fast and furious and equally ridiculous saves over the past decade focused on the achievements of the 118.
Tsunamis, yes plural – it happened again, okay?
Mudslides.
Volcanoes.
Forest Fires.
Serial arsonists.
Floods.
Earthquakes.
Jesus Christ, Los Angeles was really sitting on a Hellmouth? Where is Buffy when you need her?
The only thing left for them to do in this world was save it from an asteroid or something.
Whoever runs this Universe, please don’t send an asteroid. I beg you!
But, amongst all those heroic newspaper clippings there was only one framed and carefully kept separated from the others:
Safe Haven twin girls adopted by a queer couple from the infamous Station 118.
It pictured Buck and Eddie posing in front of the Safe Haven box at the station in their uniforms while holding two baby bundles on their chest. Babies’ faces were tucked safely away from the camera and both of them were looking at each other fondly without a care in the world about the article or the buzz it would provide to the LAFD.
Poppy Buckley-Diaz and Daisy Buckley-Diaz were six years old now and were the brightest and silliest little girls to ever exist in their entire 118 family. They were keeping Buck and Eddie on their toes and Chris thanked God that now that Theo is leaving for his gap year before going to college there was someone to take their minds of worrying about the Theo the firecracker.
Both Daisy and Poppy adored Theo, especially when he helped them with their pranks.
But that’s the story for another time.
Christopher closes the box as the keys jingle in his front door and a human embodiment of a hurricane comes barrelling through them.
When Theo came into their lives it was evident how much the boy resembled Buck – both physically and energetically.
That was the undiagnosed and unmedicated ADHD talking by the way.
But now on the precipice of adulthood Theo was a spitting image of Evan Buckley. Broad shoulders, that signature tongue poking smile through the teeth, the look in his eyes that could either mean that he has the greatest idea possible or that he messed something up so badly that he needed help fixing it.
The curls falling over his forehead, although a bit darker in colour than Buck’s.
But most notably, the long ass legs and the way he was moving through space and time. Christopher was convinced that he was looking at Buck twenty-five years ago or something. Especially given the fact that Theo had his leather jacket on and a motorbike helmet under one of his arms.
Dad hated that thing and would flinch every time Theo sat on it. Buck was divided because Theo reminded him so much of himself at that age but without the excess grief and sadness, and with so much developed brain cells that Buck didn’t possess at the time.
The boy might physically looked like Buck but throughout the years Eddie Diaz left his mark making Theo the most responsible and reckless person to ever exist.
Chris smiles as Theo – flashing all those Buck’s pearly whites – leaves the helmet on the floor and pulls his older brother from the floor into a hug.
‘’Theo! Jesus,’’ Chris shrieks but laughs through it. Theo kisses the side of his head.
‘’Happy birthday to me big bro!’’ He laughs putting Christopher back on the ground.
‘’Happy birthday to you, menace on wheels.’’
‘’Don’t tell dad,’’ Theo lifts his finger in very Eddie like manner and Chris snorts.
‘’Like that ever helped. Come on, I have something for you,’’ Christopher moves his head as he leads Theo to the kitchen where the box has been sitting since this morning.
It was a bit of a hustle to actually pull it all the way from the storage to the kitchen but he managed without help. He didn’t want to ask Buck nor Eddie to help him out because he thought that this was his and his task alone.
Theo was pouncing off the walls rambling about his travel plans as soon as school ends next week.
‘’So, I’m starting off strong with South America obviously. Dad thinks it’s better to finish with Peru, something about the karmic circle or whatever because that’s the last place he visited before he came to LA. Doesn’t matter, but!’’ Theo doesn’t stop talking as he opens the fridge door and takes out a can of coke.
‘’But I tell him, dad – I know Spanish. Isn’t it more reasonable to start with the countries I could linguistically blend in for a while, then I’ll go over to Asia, Africa and finish in Europe.’’
Chris snorts. ‘’Was dad present when you told Buck that?’’
‘’Of course, he was giggling while trying to cut a piece of gum the girls stuck in dad’s curls,’’ Theo shrugs his shoulders.
‘’Jesus, I love them so much.’’
‘’Yeah, they’re good girls. I’m gonna miss them,’’ Theo exhales and sits next to Chris by the kitchen island.
‘’You sure you want to do this all by yourself?’’ Chris asks. ‘’Not that I don’t have faith in you, it’s just. I wish…’’
‘’Yeah, I wish you could come with me too,’’ Theo finishes. ‘’But hey, you’re working on that super-secret project for NASA with aunty Karen and…’’
Chris lifts a finger. ‘’Don’t say that our loud ever again.’’
Theo makes a zipping motion and throwing the key over his shoulder then nudges the box with his finger. ‘’What’s this?’’
‘’This Theodore,’’ Theo snorts, he hated his full name. ‘’Is your birthday present,’’ Chris finishes smiling widely and pushing the box towards Theo who suspiciously looks at it like it might bite him.
‘’You could at least wrap it up,’’ Theo wriggles his eyebrows.
Chris sighs. ‘’Stop it.’’
‘’Put a little bow on it,’’ Theo teases.
‘’Theo,’’ Chris warns but his lips are curving into a little smile.
‘’What? It’s not like it’s your only baby brother’s eighteenth birthday or anything,’’ Theo teases again and Chris finally smiles.
‘’You’re impossible.’’
‘’And you love me anyway,’’ Theo sing songs.
‘’I do. I really do,’’ Chris agrees then moves the box again. ‘’Okay, open it.’’
Theo cracks open the hundreds of times opened and closed box with ages worth of tape and for a second he freezes.
He looks at Christopher; his brows furrowed in confusion. Then, he lifts a teddy bear with Spiderman socks on. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out.
Chris starts talking.
‘’I know that dad and Buck gave you your real baby box for your sixteenth birthday. We kinda coordinated that one because twelve years ago I told them that I’ll be the one gifting you your baby bro box on your eighteenth.
‘’I started collecting this when you just came into our lives. It was supposed to be silly at first. Memorabilia with which I could eventually blackmail you when you’re older – but then it became something bigger than that. Something bigger than both of us,’’ Chris’s voice almost broke.
Theo was looking at him with tears in his eyes.
‘’You won’t find anything about your parents here because I know Buck made everything in his power to collect all the memories you had with them in the original baby box. This box is something you and I share.
‘’Two boys from completely different backgrounds finding family in the most unexpected places and under extremely awful circumstances,’’ Chris pauses for a moment to take a breath then continues.
‘’We both lost someone dear to us when we were probably way too young to fully understand what it meant. But that never meant that we didn’t know what grief was. And I know how hard it must’ve been to adapt to new environment over and over again until Buck took you in so, when you finally came into our lives like a human embodiment of a tornado I just wanted to show you how the grief that shaped our early years didn’t necessarily mean that we don’t deserve future or love.
‘’Both Buck and dad did amazing job in raising us, the girls too. And at times yes, they can be overprotective but that’s just in their job description. They can’t help it.
‘’What they never wanted to outright tell us but were doing actively was let us walk through life thinking that no one loves us, deserves us nor that no one has our back.
‘’They showed us that no matter what they’d love us anyway. So, over the years I collected everything that sometimes – when you’re in doubt or sad, or lonely – you can look at and know how from the very beginning we were still brothers.
‘’I marked everything that’s in there and wrote brief descriptions in the scrapbook. Some of it is silly, some of it is severely deep but most of it is just … ugh, Buck will annoy me for years if you tell him this – but most of it is love.
‘’And I know those are just old toys and post it notes and socks and t-shirts but I really hope that one day when you decide what your path in life should be that you’d know you’d always have a home to come back to.’’
Chris wipes the tears from his eyes and giggles. ‘’You know, when Buck first found out about you – after the balloon accident – he was so worried that his genes messed you up. That somehow his inability to be whole again has transferred on to another human being and that the only thing he’s capable of was procreating demon spawns.’’
Theo laughs. Chris flails his arm in the air.
‘’It was nothing against you, he was mostly talking about himself. You know how hard he is on himself. But what he didn’t realize is the fact that yes, you two are somewhat same – the same hot-blooded, hot-headed balls of energy with unmedicated ADHD and the possibility to do any task if you’re given enough time on the internet to figure out how to do something.
‘’The only difference was that for most of his life he begged to be loved, to be seen and cherished. On the other hand he did everything in his power to not let you think for a minute that you were never wanted. He managed to wipe out more than thirty years of neglect by his parents in order to love you like he deserved to be loved by them.
‘’And he did it with me too. I wasn’t even his blood. I was just a random kid he met one day while he was being borderline annoyed at his new coworker – later best friend, partner and now annoying husband of his. He loved me anyway.
‘’He saved me more times that I could count. But also,’’ Chris points at him and Theo. ‘’You and me, we saved him.
‘’Saved them. BuckAndEddie – our parents wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for us and yes, the circumstances that led to our funny little family were awful, but we persevered and we never forgot where we came from.
‘’So, to sum it up. This box is everything that made our little family a family. All the nightmares drawn on post it notes, all the silliness on polarodis, cheese puffs tubs and several broken noses later. Every morning we woke up was a new adventure in the Buckley-Diaz household and yes – there were the big moments – the fostering, adopting, birthdays, anniversaries, promotions and what not – but this,’’ Chris goes over with his hand over the box.
‘’These small things are the things you thought were just in passing. Things that at the time were not as important as they are now and the things that shaped us and our family over the past decade. And I want you to know that wherever in the world you wake up tomorrow you’ll always have a home to come back to – and most importantly whatever you do in your life we’ll have your back. I sad that several times already but I mean it. I really do.
‘’We all do.’’
Chris finishes as Theo digs out the worn-out grey t-shirt and brings in to his face.
‘’I missed this. It was here the whole time?’’ He asks quietly.
‘’Yeah, snatched it from Buck years ago. Was afraid that he’ll lose it or something so I was safekeeping it. It’s yours now.’’
Theo smiles. ‘’You know how for a whole year it was be the only thing that let me sleep peacefully and calm during the day?’’
Chris nods.
Theo turns the inside of the t-shirt to reveal the tag that says Made In Peru, and Christopher’s heart sinks.
‘’My dad had the exact same one. I guess it was from the time him and Buck met in Peru or something. I recognized it from the pictures when I was going through the baby box years ago and I always wondered where Buck’s shirt had gone because I vividly remember how I couldn’t fall asleep unless I had it in my hands.
‘’The nightmares were. Well, you know,’’ Theo gets a handful of sticky notes with his dreams drawn all over them. ‘’I know I didn’t know at the time what it was but I know now and what you did was… Oh god Chris, it was probably the only thing that saved me from throwing tantrums for the years to come.’’
Theo clutches the t-shirt to his chest as he sits back on the stool and looks Chris in the eyes.
‘’I let go of it after a while because I felt safe with you guys. Mom and dad weren’t haunting me in my dreams, or they were but they were different. And when all four of us were together – Buck, Eddie, you and me – it felt like I was whole again.
‘’Which for a four-year-old was probably a completely out of the world idea but yeah, the world sucked much less when we were all together. I,’’ he starts again then rummages trough the box and laughs wetly as he lifts the drawing that started the whole BuckAndEddie thing.
‘’I never met Bobby or Abuelita, nor your mom – but still, every time I’m in a conundrum I wonder what would they do. What would Abuelita add to a dish I’m making; what would Bobby say if he found out that Buck’s flesh and blood almost broke his leg in a motorbike accident; what would your mom do if she found us smoking weed at three in the morning?
‘’And I never met them. I know the concept of them from all your stories I’ve been told since I was old enough to call Buck Mr. Poop.
‘’There is a small piece of me that grieves the family I could’ve had with mom and dad but I have been so blessed to end up with all you guys. In a family bound not by blood but by the concept of love that transcends all the planes of existence.’’
Theo looks at the drawing again and one single tear falls directly on the star representing his mother.
‘’Thank you. For this,’’ he finally says looking at Chris who has been silently sobbing on his chair, the palm of his hand opened up so Theo can slide his if he wants to.
And he wants to. He holds Christopher’s hand until his breathing evens out and he smiles again.
‘’I don’t want you to think that me travelling the world is abandoning you or our family,’’ Theo starts.
Chris shakes his head. ‘’Hey, no. I don’t… Nobody is thinking like that Theo.’’
Theo smiles. ‘’I know, but I have to say it. I feel like I need to get out there so that I can decide what to do with this love I have to offer. And yes, I might be reckless at times…’’
‘’Just some times?’’ Chris teases. Theo rolls his eyes.
‘’Okay, most of the times. But my heart is behind it and I think that it would be good for me to see what I’m meant to do with it.’’
‘’Yeah, I agree.’’
Chris taps Theo’s hand and urges him to open up the stash of polaroid pictures on the bottom of the box.
‘’Come on, untie them. I need to see semi naked baby Theo in a tub full of cheese puffs and Harry’s horrified look on his face.’’
Theo erupts in laughter flipping through the photos trying to find it as fast as possible.
***
Year and a half later when Theo returned from his travels after visiting almost 100 countries he gets into the law school for the sole purpose of becoming International human rights lawyer making his life mission to be the change in the world.
After telling everyone about his plans Buck and Eddie were both proud and crying their eyes out not being able to formulate a coherent sentence while May and Ravi with tears in their eyes murmured something along the lines of –
‘’Of course he’d go into saving the entire World. His dads worked on protecting people in the local community. His brother is practically working on protecting the space. It’s completely natural that his mission would be changing the world on the global level. Bobby would be so proud.’’
And somewhere, wherever he was in that very moment – Bobby was indeed proud of Buck and his buckling and the 118 to always have their backs.